Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Dad: A son’s first hero, a daughter’s first love. Unknown

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and the topic of conversation was about family and how families miss the mark. We all know as parents we got upset, more upset than was warranted or helpful. Our son said, “My parents on their worst day were better than no parents.”

My sister-in-law’s client told her how her mother called Children’s Aid, and her daughter was put in Foster Care, where she died. There’s a lot more to the story, but the child was supposed to be protected from harm, not put in harm’s way. It’s unfortunate that parent’s aren’t always as good as they should be, but when the protector’s are worse, what can we say?

The grooming gang’s in England are horrendous, and who did they prey on, girl’s who were in the system from what I understand. It sounds like some of the girl’s did have families, but the authorities didn’t believe or support them?

Families are where we are supposed to believe we are safe. There is an idea that it takes a village to raise a child. This only works when there aren’t predators out there looking to take advantage of the lost child.

Is the home where we start to fix our society? Building a family is the most important thing we do, and when we fail to care for and protect our children we create problems that don’t just affect this generation, but generations to come.

How do we fix the broken souls out there? I was listening to J.D. Vance and even if you don’t like his politics you have to like his story. He grew up with his Grandma as his biggest influence. He said, “When you hear about children from bad situations growing up to do well, they all seem to have someone that was in their corner.” He had his grandmother.

He was there when I didn’t understand, he was there when I was wrong, he was there when I cried, he was there when I lied. For some reason my dad was always there, when I needed him most. Michael Jordan

Some of these children have no one to turn to, and when they get offered attention from people who mean to use them, they get used and abused. Is it too simplistic to believe in many of these situations the missing person is a father?

Father’s want to protect us from harm, and some of that looked like fun to us. Our father’s weren’t trying to keep us from having fun, or living the best life we could, they wanted to keep us safe, and not be taken advantage of by someone who didn’t have our best interests at heart. People whose intentions we didn’t understand.

Even when our father is not someone we go home to, because we’ve left home to carve out our own life. His presence in our life is there, we might hear his voice in our head about a situation that could be dangerous. If we got the love we needed from a father we weren’t so needy and desperate for attention.

Fixing the problems in society is a herculean job, and broken families are broken in many ways, but if one person in a child’s corner can make all the difference, maybe there is hope.

There are many situations that if Children’s Services had gotten involved a child might have been pulled out of their family, but when they grow up with a broken family there is a chance someone will be in their corner. In some cases is the cure worse than the problem?

We want to protect children, but in our zeal to judge families, are we ruining young lives that would have been okay? In some cases is a dysfunctional family better than no family?

I don’t know the answers, I don’t even know what questions to ask, or what the criteria should be for stepping in. But, I do know, many of the things we’ve done with the best of intentions have unintended consequences, and we meant well, might not be a good enough defense.

Thanks Dad, there would have been a hole in my life, no one could fill, without you.

It’s only when you grow up and step back from him – or leave him for your own home – it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Margaret Truman

Being a Daddy’s girl is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life. Marinela Reka

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. Tom Wolfe

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