Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

If I’d known grandkids were so much fun, I would have had them first. Unknown

Last week I didn’t put out a blog. We were having hardwood floors installed upstairs, and the railing was taken down. With two little grandkids, it didn’t seem fair to leave my husband to watch them alone while our son-in-law dropped our daughter off to work. I remember when our daughter was small, I turned around and couldn’t find her anywhere. I wondered if my husband took her with him, but he wouldn’t do that without telling me.

Frantically, I searched the house, finally finding her in our closet quietly playing. I could finally take a breath. With the railing down, I had visions of one of our grandchildren sitting on the top of the open floor, their feet dangling down, saying, “Look at me, Grandma.” One of the things I feared most was that our grandson would get up early, come upstairs, and go exploring. I slept in the family room so I would hear him if he came upstairs.

Accidents happen quickly, we can’t protect our kids from everything, and overprotecting parents aren’t good, but finding the happy balance is tricky. I grew up on a farm, one of the most dangerous places, and the town industry was a lumber mill, another dangerous industry.

Is it true what doesn’t kill us makes us strong? I’ve heard self-made people say the biggest gift they were given was to grow up in poverty. They only say it because they overcame it. Our childhoods shaped us in ways we might not even recognize. Some of us might live a life striving toward something, and others might strive to overcome something. We might not be able to articulate the driving forces in our lives; do we want to emulate our parents or live lives as different from them as possible?

A grandchild is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart. Unknown

Who we had in our lives as children shaped us. Did we grow up without a father or mother, or without grandparents, and how did that impact our lives? Did we grow up in big messy families or small close ones? Did family dynamics work, or do toxic relationships impact our lives? We can’t escape our past; it is always with us and colors our lives in ways we can’t recognize, but we still have choices to make.

I was listening to a podcast on retiring, and grey divorce came up. Women over sixty-five who get a divorce and are grandmothers report a high level of happiness. I don’t think this means getting a grey divorce brings happiness; I think it means being a grandmother brings happiness that a grey divorce and diminished finances don’t eliminate.

One of the things many people have to face is being alone as they get older, either because of divorce or the death of a spouse. It is a fact, and if we have to face it, we may as well face it with as much positivity as possible. Things happen in life that we can’t control. Being alone in old age happens, and we are either the one who leaves or the one who is left behind as friends, spouses, and siblings pass away.

My aunt always said she wanted to live till she died, and die all at once. I share her sentiment, and even though it is not up to us, staying as healthy as possible might be the antidote to a long, debilitating end. I think of Mom and her morning exercises, which she kept up until about age ninety-seven.

Our grandson asked me if I had a ballerina jewelry box. I told him I had one, but I left it at Mom’s. He said, “Can you go to her house and get it?”

I said, “No, Grandma’s gone, and so is her house.”

He said, “Did you love her lots?”

I said, “Yes.”

He said, “Do you still?”

We have profound conversations, and I wonder where this comes from. The other day, he said his aunt should get a husband. Someone said why? He said, “So she’ll be happy.”

He talks about husbands and wives a lot. We wonder where his little nuggets of wisdom come from. Life with grandchildren is so much fun. We want to protect them from danger, but we also have to give them the freedom to grow and develop into the men and women they will become. It’s a delicate balance, and we won’t know how well we managed it until they are grown up and take their place in the world. Our son tells us he’s surprised to see how much joy grandchildren bring into our lives, and I’m surprised he’s surprised. But he isn’t a father yet, and when he is, he’ll understand.

Being a Grandma is so much fun, it is the silver lining in aging, and I feel sorry for everyone who has to live without the warm embrace of a grandchild as they sail into the later years of life.

Grandchildren just make you feel better when you are around them. They’re sunshine for your soul and medicine for your mind. Unknown

A grandchild fills a space in your heart you never knew was empty. Unknown

Grandchildren give us a second chance to do things better because they bring out the best in us. Unknown

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