Posted on by BWThomas

Canada, our great and glorious land. Happy Canada Day!

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice, and tolerance. Kim Campbell

Canada Day is coming, a day we celebrate with pride. This country of ours we’ve built together with those who were here, and have come later. We are here, and we aren’t perfect, but as long as we can discuss our imperfections and elect leaders with free and open elections, we will continue.

One of the things many people across the Western world appear to worry about is that they can’t discuss problems in their society that are considered an ism. We especially need to talk about the isms, about expecting things from some groups that we don’t expect from others. How much are we willing to have our society change to make other groups happy?

If we can’t talk, it will devolve into something else. The conversations might even get ugly, but if we don’t talk about issues important to us, and let them fester, and hard feelings develop between groups, how can that end well? If I want something that appears to take something away from you, how will you be happy? If we talk about it, debate it, and fight about it in the public sphere, and come to an agreement, then we can live in peace. If we don’t talk about problems arising in our society and the world for fear of offending someone, it will end worse, and it won’t be words hurting others, but violence.

In England, it looks like to keep the peace, the elite have tried to muzzle the common working-class Brits with hate speech laws, etc. It doesn’t look like it is working to me, and I don’t want to see that level of division come here. Different groups can live together in Canada if we all agree on Canadian laws and Canadian values. We don’t have to look the same, eat the same food, or follow the same religion, but we do have to live together without infringing on each other’s rights. Mutual respect, mutual responsibility, and mutual love for Canada are required.

Canada might not be a good fit for people who do not like Canadian Laws or Canadian values and want to impose their own on their part of society or all of society.

Is the Alberta referendum positive?. Talking about Alberta’s complaints might be a good idea. I grew up with sentiments like, “We pay the freight when we buy it, and we pay the freight when we sell it. The West always pays the freight.” Canadian elites, Eastern Canadian elites, have created this problem. Rightly or wrongly, the West believes they aren’t getting a fair shake. It’s coming to blows because they weren’t taken seriously, after all, what could the little Western Provinces do?

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it’s doing in the Maritimes. Tommy Douglas

Ignore concerns long enough, and you’ll see what they can do. If you ignore concerns by trying to make people think they are horrible people for even seeing an issue, let alone voicing it. Soon, you will have people who don’t care what you call them, and they will do more than use their voice.

How do we deal with the issues facing us? Not by pretending we don’t have problems. How do we address the disparity between the rich and poor, housing prices outpacing wages, and immigration outpacing opportunities? These aren’t the only problems facing Canada, but they are here, and if we want to continue as a country that people want to come to and live in, we have to make choices that are good for Canada and its people.

We are at a time in history when it seems the common people are the least catered to. Look at the Albania controversy: a protected island is now being sold to be developed as a playground for the rich and famous that the average Albanian will never be able to afford to visit.

Tourism brings in money, but it doesn’t always benefit the common people. We need to balance all the interests to keep Canada the great Canada it is, and the greater Canada it has the potential to be.

Canada Day is a day to reflect on where we came from, where we are going, and who gets a say in the decisions.

Happy Canada Day!

As a woman in Canada, I get to do whatever I want to do, and I’m used to that. I’m used to not having my government tell me my life is going to be restricted because I’m female. Deborah Ellis

It’s like Canada is the little brother to the United States and one day they are going to show the world they’re just as cool as their successful big brother. Dustin Milligan

The truth is, I’m someone coming from a spoiled society. – the worst thing we deal with in Canada is winter. Denis Velleneuve

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives, or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Fathers, hero’s and first loves. There’s a hole in the family without a dad.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Dad: A son’s first hero, a daughter’s first love. Unknown

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and the topic of conversation was about family and how families miss the mark. We all know as parents we got upset, more upset than was warranted or helpful. Our son said, “My parents on their worst day were better than no parents.”

My sister-in-law’s client told her how her mother called Children’s Aid, and her daughter was put in Foster Care, where she died. There’s a lot more to the story, but the child was supposed to be protected from harm, not put in harm’s way. It’s unfortunate that parent’s aren’t always as good as they should be, but when the protector’s are worse, what can we say?

The grooming gang’s in England are horrendous, and who did they prey on, girl’s who were in the system from what I understand. It sounds like some of the girl’s did have families, but the authorities didn’t believe or support them?

Families are where we are supposed to believe we are safe. There is an idea that it takes a village to raise a child. This only works when there aren’t predators out there looking to take advantage of the lost child.

Is the home where we start to fix our society? Building a family is the most important thing we do, and when we fail to care for and protect our children we create problems that don’t just affect this generation, but generations to come.

How do we fix the broken souls out there? I was listening to J.D. Vance and even if you don’t like his politics you have to like his story. He grew up with his Grandma as his biggest influence. He said, “When you hear about children from bad situations growing up to do well, they all seem to have someone that was in their corner.” He had his grandmother.

He was there when I didn’t understand, he was there when I was wrong, he was there when I cried, he was there when I lied. For some reason my dad was always there, when I needed him most. Michael Jordan

Some of these children have no one to turn to, and when they get offered attention from people who mean to use them, they get used and abused. Is it too simplistic to believe in many of these situations the missing person is a father?

Father’s want to protect us from harm, and some of that looked like fun to us. Our father’s weren’t trying to keep us from having fun, or living the best life we could, they wanted to keep us safe, and not be taken advantage of by someone who didn’t have our best interests at heart. People whose intentions we didn’t understand.

Even when our father is not someone we go home to, because we’ve left home to carve out our own life. His presence in our life is there, we might hear his voice in our head about a situation that could be dangerous. If we got the love we needed from a father we weren’t so needy and desperate for attention.

Fixing the problems in society is a herculean job, and broken families are broken in many ways, but if one person in a child’s corner can make all the difference, maybe there is hope.

There are many situations that if Children’s Services had gotten involved a child might have been pulled out of their family, but when they grow up with a broken family there is a chance someone will be in their corner. In some cases is the cure worse than the problem?

We want to protect children, but in our zeal to judge families, are we ruining young lives that would have been okay? In some cases is a dysfunctional family better than no family?

I don’t know the answers, I don’t even know what questions to ask, or what the criteria should be for stepping in. But, I do know, many of the things we’ve done with the best of intentions have unintended consequences, and we meant well, might not be a good enough defense.

Thanks Dad, there would have been a hole in my life, no one could fill, without you.

It’s only when you grow up and step back from him – or leave him for your own home – it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Margaret Truman

Being a Daddy’s girl is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life. Marinela Reka

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. Tom Wolfe

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Our choices shape our lives; to make a choice is to build a life.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Life is a chess match. Every decision that you make has a consequence to it. P.K. Subban

Are we willing to ask the hard questions of ourselves, our family, society, and the world? What builds a good life, and do we have the right to judge the choices others make that don’t build a good life or a good society?

Last night, listening to a podcast, the speaker said his grandfather would tell young people, “I have nothing against you, it’s your lifestyle I don’t approve of.” Do we have the right to judge the actions of others? Do we have the right to believe that living certain ways, following certain principles, builds a better life?

When we see the choices we’ve made and how they’ve turned out, do we think that if we’d made better choices, we’d have a better life? Expecting ourselves and others to always make the best choice is unreasonable. To judge others harsher for their bad choices than we do ourselves is unfair. But are there principles that, if followed by anyone and everyone, will lead to a better life?

I’m not meaning there should be no diversity in how people live their lives. I am not for religious or other groups controlling the lives of their members. I am for personal responsibility to live good lives to build a good society for our children and grandchildren.

The family is the cornerstone of our society, and if we look around, we see where the breakdown of the family leads. The family helps us build a better life, provides more security for ourselves and our children, and gives our children a springboard to launch themselves.

Some studies show marriage is alive and well in the richest segments of our society, but becoming increasingly less common in poorer segments. Of course, some marriages should end, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a real price paid when they do.

A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided. Tony Robbins

Who we choose to marry might be one of the biggest choices we make, and not getting married is also a choice. But, like a team of horses, two can do so much more than one. What if love gets us into marriage, and something else has to keep us in a marriage? The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but going for the greener grass always has a price.

One of the things we need to do in life is look at the price tag of our choices, and there is always a price. The highly successful person won’t be home much; the person always at home won’t make as much money. Life is about trade-offs; a trade-off that seemed great in our twenties might not look so good in later decades. We heard in our youth, “You make your bed, and you need to lie in it.”

Do too many of us think someone else is responsible for the state of our lives? Is it name your ism, but what of those who overcame their ism and built great lives, what does that say to those who haven’t? Their unlucky, or unblessed, life is unfair? Life is unfair; we don’t all start at the same place, but even if we start at the worst starting point, we can make choices that make our lives better or worse.

What if progress is more important than the end result? What choices can we make to improve our lives and maybe the lives of our children and grandchildren? Is considering the next generation one of the most important things we do, and where many mistakes have been made?

Are there unintended consequences for what we thought would be some of our best choices? Mistakes were made, and mistakes will always be made, but what can each of us do to make the best of the life we have and the society we leave to our children and grandchildren?

I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime. Elisabeth Kubler Ross

If you don’t make a decision then time will make it for you and time will always side against you. Billy Graham

The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice. George Eliot

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives, or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Building a rich life at any age, we might have more choices than we think.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Clutter isn’t just the stuff in your closet; it’s anything that gets between you and life that you want to be living. Peter Walsh

A rich life is about more than money, and the richest lives are built on the things money can’t buy. Money can’t buy love, friends, health, purpose, passion, honor, character, children, grandchildren, and other priceless things we want in our lives. It can buy a lot, and I’ve never had to worry if someone liked or loved me for my money or status they got from being around me. I’ve never hung around people who I got status from, and when we love the people we love because of who they are, not what they can do for us, that’s part of a rich life.

The joy grandchildren bring is richness money can’t buy. We don’t get to go to the grandchildren’s store and pick out the cutest ones. We have to count on our children to give us this gift, and count on our grandchildren to give us great-grandchildren. As long as the generations continue, this is the richness money can’t buy.

We can’t buy health, we can perhaps preserve it, and prolong it. But we can’t buy it, and no amount of health care expenditures will fix poor health. Access to health care is important, but health without healthcare is where richness lies. Healthcare insurance is like car insurance; we need it, but don’t want to have to use it.

Dad always said, “Too soon old, and too late smart.” If we could go back and seize the opportunities we saw but didn’t recognize, recognized but didn’t think we could make work, or thought were for other, smarter, or more courageous people, how would our lives look? Is that a way to be unhappy about our lives, when what we might need to do is be grateful things worked out as well as they did, and figure out if they haven’t worked out well enough yet, what would make them work out better?

The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t. Marie Kondo

Do we have someone in our lives, someone who knows us and loves us warts and all? Do we have siblings and good friends we can talk about the real things in life with? We don’t have to put on a show. Is there someone we should reach out to, spend more time with, and bring into our circle?

We might think we are too old to do something to make a difference in our lives, but is that true? Is there something nagging at us to start, finish, or get back to that we know would make our lives better?

Is it exercise, learning something new, getting back to something we loved to do but have set aside, reaching out to old friends, or making new ones? Do we need to plan some adventures? Do we need to lighten our load of stuff weighing us down? Last night I went through more books, and found two bags I can give away. But I did what you shouldn’t do after deciding something can be donated. I went through the bags, and only one book is going to be given away. Someone has suggested cutting down to two hundred books. Two hundred books in six categories, writing, art, religion, self-help, history, and miscellaneous is only thirty-three books per category. Getting rid of books is tough. Last night I went through art books, maybe I’ll have better luck in the other categories. If I had to move and could only take two hundred books with me, I would sort and only keep the best of the best. I know it can be done, and if I have to, I’ll do it, but I don’t have to yet.

Creating systems that work is one way to build a rich life. When something new comes into our lives, something has to go to make room for it. What if I have to choose one to eliminate from my collection before I add a new one? This is what they tell us to do with a capsule wardrobe: replace items, instead of adding more, and more, and more.

Will I feel lighter as I cut down the number of books and other possessions I own?

People say lightening their load of stuff gives them freedom to live a bigger life, not a smaller one. Could it be possible that less is more? What if buying less leads to a richer life?

Creating space, decluttering, and evaluating our beliefs about enough helps restore our home to its original purpose: refuge. Lisa Avellan

Time spent minimizing possessions is never wasted. Unknown

Clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions. Barbara Hemphill

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale, through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Grandkids make life better. They are the silver lining of aging.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

If I’d known grandkids were so much fun, I would have had them first. Unknown

Last week I didn’t put out a blog. We were having hardwood floors installed upstairs, and the railing was taken down. With two little grandkids, it didn’t seem fair to leave my husband to watch them alone while our son-in-law dropped our daughter off to work. I remember when our daughter was small, I turned around and couldn’t find her anywhere. I wondered if my husband took her with him, but he wouldn’t do that without telling me.

Frantically, I searched the house, finally finding her in our closet quietly playing. I could finally take a breath. With the railing down, I had visions of one of our grandchildren sitting on the top of the open floor, their feet dangling down, saying, “Look at me, Grandma.” One of the things I feared most was that our grandson would get up early, come upstairs, and go exploring. I slept in the family room so I would hear him if he came upstairs.

Accidents happen quickly, we can’t protect our kids from everything, and overprotecting parents aren’t good, but finding the happy balance is tricky. I grew up on a farm, one of the most dangerous places, and the town industry was a lumber mill, another dangerous industry.

Is it true what doesn’t kill us makes us strong? I’ve heard self-made people say the biggest gift they were given was to grow up in poverty. They only say it because they overcame it. Our childhoods shaped us in ways we might not even recognize. Some of us might live a life striving toward something, and others might strive to overcome something. We might not be able to articulate the driving forces in our lives; do we want to emulate our parents or live lives as different from them as possible?

A grandchild is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart. Unknown

Who we had in our lives as children shaped us. Did we grow up without a father or mother, or without grandparents, and how did that impact our lives? Did we grow up in big messy families or small close ones? Did family dynamics work, or do toxic relationships impact our lives? We can’t escape our past; it is always with us and colors our lives in ways we can’t recognize, but we still have choices to make.

I was listening to a podcast on retiring, and grey divorce came up. Women over sixty-five who get a divorce and are grandmothers report a high level of happiness. I don’t think this means getting a grey divorce brings happiness; I think it means being a grandmother brings happiness that a grey divorce and diminished finances don’t eliminate.

One of the things many people have to face is being alone as they get older, either because of divorce or the death of a spouse. It is a fact, and if we have to face it, we may as well face it with as much positivity as possible. Things happen in life that we can’t control. Being alone in old age happens, and we are either the one who leaves or the one who is left behind as friends, spouses, and siblings pass away.

My aunt always said she wanted to live till she died, and die all at once. I share her sentiment, and even though it is not up to us, staying as healthy as possible might be the antidote to a long, debilitating end. I think of Mom and her morning exercises, which she kept up until about age ninety-seven.

Our grandson asked me if I had a ballerina jewelry box. I told him I had one, but I left it at Mom’s. He said, “Can you go to her house and get it?”

I said, “No, Grandma’s gone, and so is her house.”

He said, “Did you love her lots?”

I said, “Yes.”

He said, “Do you still?”

We have profound conversations, and I wonder where this comes from. The other day, he said his aunt should get a husband. Someone said why? He said, “So she’ll be happy.”

He talks about husbands and wives a lot. We wonder where his little nuggets of wisdom come from. Life with grandchildren is so much fun. We want to protect them from danger, but we also have to give them the freedom to grow and develop into the men and women they will become. It’s a delicate balance, and we won’t know how well we managed it until they are grown up and take their place in the world. Our son tells us he’s surprised to see how much joy grandchildren bring into our lives, and I’m surprised he’s surprised. But he isn’t a father yet, and when he is, he’ll understand.

Being a Grandma is so much fun, it is the silver lining in aging, and I feel sorry for everyone who has to live without the warm embrace of a grandchild as they sail into the later years of life.

Grandchildren just make you feel better when you are around them. They’re sunshine for your soul and medicine for your mind. Unknown

A grandchild fills a space in your heart you never knew was empty. Unknown

Grandchildren give us a second chance to do things better because they bring out the best in us. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.