Moments of truth. Being part of a group enriches our lives. Finding balance, dancing through life.

Being part of a group.enriches our lives. Moments of truth. Finding balance, dancing through life.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Never regret a day in your life: good days give happiness, bad days give experience, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories. Unknown

Yesterday I visited one of The Toastmaster Clubs in my area to do an “official” report as Area Director. They took the summer off and this was their first meeting back. It is a small corporate club which is about four years old. This is the first corporate club I’ve visited. It is the personalities of the people who make or break clubs. The President is amazing; the club appears to have a strong Executive and great club culture. They don’t have a large membership but it’s a fun club.

The President said in closing that many times he thinks he should cancel a meeting because of low expected attendance, or lack of time for organizing the meeting, but every time he feels better leaving the Toastmaster meeting than he did when he went in.

When being part of a group energizes and inspires us we know these are the groups we should be part of. These are the groups other people want to join.

Last night the book club met, we are not a big club, but we are a fun club who sometimes gets the book read. We are a sounding board for each other, we have ah-ha moments all the time as we discuss life.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another. “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…” C.S. Lewis

The more we are involved and engaged the more we enjoy life. If we want to belong to groups we need to be more than seat warmers. When we all do our part we can have wonderful organizations that enrich our lives.

We enjoy our lives more when we are involved, and engaged. The more we put into life, the more we get out of it. We can go too far, we can get so involved in Church, community groups, sports, etc. that we have little time to be engaged at home.  Finding balance is a challenge, and when our spouse feels that everything else in our life is more important than them, it is not good. Sometimes we have to cut back on our group activities to make time for family.

When we are involved in groups we have stories to tell, things to discuss, and our world opens up. We can bring more to our relationships. As long as our significant other doesn’t feel they are on the periphery instead of the center of our lives, being part of a group can be positive. When our spouse thinks everything else in our lives is more important than them it is a problem.

If we are too much just the two of us, we may feel our life is too small, our interests too insular, our view too narrow. We need to take stock of where we are in our life. Do we need more outside interaction or less? Do we need more outside interests or should we develop a shared interest? Are we forging ahead alone into uncharted territory?

Life is a dance, dancing is about balance and rhythm. We need to lead or follow, and we also have to hold our own in dancing and in life. What works in one stage of our life may not work in another. We must adapt to the changes, challenges, and stages of our life.

Do we have enough balance in our life? Do we need to take a good hard look at our life? Is it time for “Moments of Truth?” Where are we out of alignment with our values and goals? What is the tweak we need to make in our lives that would make us healthier, happier, improve our relationships, develop our interests, reach our goals, and leave a legacy?

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, what are you doing for others? Martin Luther King Jr.

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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The Power of Eight: Harnessing the Miraculous Energies of a Small Group to Heal Others, Your Life, and the World Hardcover – Sep 26 2017

by Lynne McTaggart (Author) 4.8 out of 5 stars 9 customer reviews

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Finding meaning in our everyday life. Enjoying the moments means enjoying life.

Enjoying the moments means enjoying life. Finding meaning in our every day life.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

There is not one big cosmic meaning for all; there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person. Anais Nin

This morning I barely catch my daughter to say “Good morning” before she rushes out the door. It was a moment we would have missed if I came downstairs a few minutes later.

“Would you prefer breakfast or dinner for Mother’s day?”


“Breakfast is better, then we can relax”, she says before leaving for work.

A small little conversation, a moment in time, a moment in our memory, these small moments is how we build our life.

“Do you want to go for breakfast,” my husband asks. We love breakfast on Friday mornings. The work week is finishing, we are a little more relaxed. I might have a few stories from Toastmasters to tell him over breakfast. We laugh, talk about what’s going on in the world, our plans for this weekend, or whatever is coming up.

Being part of a group gives us something to learn, skills to hone, and we develop ourselves in other areas. We have more to give to our partner when we return home.  We learn what others are doing in their lives, we learn where they’ve traveled, the places they’ve been they enjoyed the most.

Life is meant to be fun, and joyous and fulfilling. May each of yours be that. Jim Henson

In a group like Toastmaster’s we see people develop as speakers, they become more animated as they speak. The people who join Toastmasters are often shy but not always. We all have skills we want to develop and things we want to learn. Being part of a group of people whose intent is bettering themselves encourages all of us to go after our dreams, take more chances, and look on challenges as opportunities. When we discover our strengths, we find the courage we didn’t know we had to go after what we want. We get clearer in what we want as we spend time with people making goals, talking about their challenges, vulnerabilities, and successes.

We have been as touched by some of the speeches at Toastmasters as by great Ted Talks. We don’t know the challenges people have dealt with. When we hear about some of the World events through the eyes of those who lived through them, we get a different understanding than when we hear only the news or read about it in a book.

We’ve heard speeches about “The Arab Spring,” the great famine in China, marriage customs from around the world. How people deal with death in their families, the lessons they’ve learned through hard times. We learn tricks and tips for being healthier. I’m looking forward to hearing a talk on what it’s like to run the Boston Marathon.

After Toastmaster’s we often go out for a drink, a nibble, but really for conversation. We love to laugh and learn more about each other’s lives. Anywhere people congregate in groups, Church, or work are places to connect with like-minded people.

We need to be careful to keep or find balance in our life; we can let groups take control of our life if we can’t say no. It is not good for our partner to play second fiddle to a group. If we can keep it in balance our primary relationship will benefit from what we get from a group.

Are we spending too much time or not enough time with other like-minded people? Are we spending enough time with our spouse? Do we have enough “moments” with the important people in our life? This is our life if we only get one, are we making it the best it can be?

It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is. Hermann Hesse

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, friendship, and love.

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The Bond: How to Fix Your Falling-Down World Paperback – Jun 5 2012

by Lynne McTaggart (Author) 4.1 out of 5 stars 11 customer reviews

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Talking is therapy. Sharing is caring. The power of groups.

Building Our Future painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead

Your mind is a garden, you can plant flowers or you can grow weeds. An attitude of gratitude will grow us flowers; wallowing in self-pity and complaining will grow weeds.

This was the thought of the day at Toastmasters last night. The speeches were thought-provoking as usual. We learned about Gold in Art and the paintings of Gustav Klimt. Turning away and turning towards our partner was the second speech, she didn’t use the terminology but the speech was an honest, open talk about how we are affected when we feel our partner turning away and how confronting them with the truth of how we feel can bring back the closeness and lead to the loving marriage we all dream of. The third speech was about the fun of getting together at the activities put on by the Fun Committee at Toastmasters.

I love it when what is going on in my head is exemplified in a speech. It happens often. It’s one of the reasons I love Toastmasters. Other people’s speeches resonate with our life. The thought of the day, toasts, joke, etc. each role gives us something to think about and reflect on. When we aren’t part of a group we can think that would be the biggest waste of two hours a week. Toastmasters is a support group we join because we want to become a better communicator. We become better communicators and better people as well.

My husband was playing a YouTube video the other day. The speaker was telling us she had a low sex drive and when she started looking into why she found she couldn’t get an appointment with a sex therapist because they weren’t taking new clients. She talked to a friend then a group of women decided to meet and talk. They met in the park wearing yoga pants because they didn’t feel they could tell their husbands the reason for the meeting was to discuss sex or the lack of it in their marriages.

As they met over time they found their sex lives were improving. They set a rule of no advice, only sharing experiences. We can feel lonely and inadequate, not realizing others are going through the exact same thing. When we compare experiences and realize we aren’t broken, we are normal we can relax and build a better relationship. Knowing others are going through the same things is freeing. We shouldn’t think everyone has a better relationship than us, but we often do.

Form a small group. Five or six people, of people who think the way you do and are willing to meet regularly every week, and you will be surprised at what imaginative, gutsy thought and action comes out of that synergy. Takes a while, but there’s something that every little group like that can do. Ray McGovern

There is a blog called Down To There by Pam Costa about creating a circle of women friends to talk about sex. Pam believes the ideal number is between four and eight members. Small enough to be intimate and big enough to be diverse. Reclaiming Female Sexual Desire is a Ted talk she gives on YouTube.

How to start a circle: Find four to eight friends and say “hey – I know talking about sex is taboo, but I’d like to do it anyway. Want to join me?

I have a circle; it’s called a book club. This subject has been skirted about but never delved into. In our book pick Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows we will be delving into some of the issues as we discuss the book.

The four recommendations she gives for making the circle work is:

Sharing and feeling – encourage members to share their own stories and feelings.

100% confidential.

Timed sharing so no one person dominates the conversation.

0% judgment and advice. We need to listen without judgment and digest other people’s stories and use what is useful in our own lives. Sharing our experiences without judgment or advice is healing.

Why do we have a taboo on certain subjects when these subjects are so central in our lives? If we can be open and honest about what is going on in our lives, we can change things. Pretending everything is okay and believing nothing can change is part of the problem.

Transformation happens in small groups. Each person can speak and all listen. Gloria Steinem

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Group Genius: The Creative Power of Collaboration

Mar 4 2008

by Keith Sawyer


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