Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
The best thing to spend on your relationship is time, conversation, understanding and honesty. Unknown
My daughter tells me her husband saw a man on FaceBook saying, “without sports to watch he’s noticing a woman he doesn’t know lives in his house.”
How many of us have a person we don’t know as well as we should that is living in our house? How many of us don’t know ourselves well enough? We don’t know our partner’s hopes and dreams but we also don’t know our own.
A relationship expert was being interviewed and the interviewer asked what he could do to make his marriage better. He was told to ask his wife what her dreams were. As soon as the show was over he did just that.
Now without the distraction of sports, we can spend more time with each other. Long walks are good ways to connect and talk about what we want out of life, what we’ve already accomplished, what we want less of, what we want more of.
We can live in the same house and not interact on deep levels. Relationships may reach new levels because some of the distractions of life are gone. This may be a turning point for some of us. There was a time when all we needed was each other; if we spend time together we may find it is true again.
It doesn’t take much and each part of a couple does their own thing. One might be watching sports and the other finds something to do. We might wander over to each other’s corners occasionally but we find what we are doing needs more and more time.
The best relationship is when you can act like a lover and best friends at the same time. Unknown
I’m guilty of this. Where my husband and I would have sat over coffee some mornings I write a blog. Where we might have done something in the evening I’m writing or editing. We work together and our desks are in front of each other all day, so I feel time on my own in the evening or morning is okay. But, do we risk becoming work buddies and parents, instead of what we once were to each other, everything?
What do forty-year-old good relationships look like? Do we let our relationships slide like we let our health and fitness slide? Do we make it seem okay by saying what do you think forty-year-old love looks like? Do we do things in our relationships as we do for our hair? We color our hair, and we put on a good show for others but when we come back home we each go to our own corner until dinner time?
Mom and Dad had a good fifty-year marriage. I feel very lucky that I grew up in a happy family and was surrounded by happy families. We were given a sense of security knowing if we went home to see Mom and Dad they would both be there, and they were until Dad died.
It’s our turn to provide for our kids the love, security, and example of a happy family. We can’t provide a perfect family, and pretending to be one is not good. We need to let our children know we can disagree with our spouse; we can work through problems and meet challenges with our spouse. When we show our children that we can have a long, happy marriage then they can believe they too can have a long happy marriage as well. Long happy marriages don’t mean there were never disagreements, hurt, anger, disappointment or challenge. It means we got through the tough times to better times, felt stronger and like we accomplished something.
Maybe with all this time on our hands and fewer distractions. we’ll see the person we fell in love with and fall in love with them again at a deeper level.
Time is the secret to a long marriage. Isn’t facing challenges together easier than facing them alone? Can we build a stronger relationship through these tough times?
Isn’t it inspiring when we see old couples who love each other with a love that shines through? Wouldn’t we like to be one of those old couples one day?
You can’t just give up on someone because the situation’s not ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work. Unknown
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon Mc Laughlin
A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love. Pearl S. Buck
Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.
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Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love Hardcover – Apr 8 2008
by Dr. Sue Johnson EdD (Author) 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,024 ratings#1 Best Seller in Marriage & Family
