Mother’s Day without Mom, but she’ll always live in my heart.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

There is something about losing a mother that is permanent and inexpressible – a wound that will never quite heal. Susan Wiggs

Mother’s Day without our mother, for some of us happens early, and for some of us it happens late, but for most of us, there will be Mother’s Days without Mom. I feel for so many people who lose their mothers too young. If we are as lucky as I have been to have gotten from Mom all she had to give, for her to have gotten from life all there was to get, it is not the same as those cut down in life when there is still so much to experience.

There are conversations I would still like to have, and trips to see her I would still like to take, but here we are and it’s okay. But I say that as someone whose mother lived to ninety-nine. She got to meet all of her grandchildren, many great-grandchildren, and some great-great-grandchildren.

Even when we no longer have loved ones with us we have memories. We are blessed if we have fond memories of our mother and can reach out and touch her with a hug or a phone call. We are also blessed if while we could we made the best of the time we had with her.

We have to be careful we make the effort to stay in touch with family, it is easy to be involved in our own life especially if they are far away and not in contact as often as we should. There is no way to be a perfect mother, but there are as many ways to be good ones, as there are good mothers. We may wish we handled certain parts of motherhood better, just like we may wish we handled parts of life better, but if we did the best we knew how to do then what more can we ask of ourselves?

My mom is a never ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. Graycie Harmon

If we have relationships that need repair and we are capable of repairing them we should attempt to heal the breach. Maybe we need to forgive ourselves for being the frail human we are, we made mistakes, we hurt someone, we misjudged, we wrongfully accused, or we expected more than they were capable of giving.

If we expect too much from people they will disappoint us, if we expect too much from ourselves we will fall short, but expecting more from ourselves and less from others instead of the other way around will lead to a happier life. We can keep trying to become who we want to become, but trying to get someone else to become who we want them to become will not end well. We need to accept people as they are, we can encourage them toward the great things we see they could do, but the life we see for them, and the life they want for themselves may not be the same thing.

The hardest part of being a mother may be giving up control of our children’s lives. When they are young we control everything, what they wear, what they learn, who is part of their life, and who isn’t. It doesn’t take long before they start making their own decisions, and part of our job is not to tell them what to do, but to let them grow and develop to take control of their own life and their own decisions. We will see them make mistakes, we’ve made our share, but if we believe we’ve learned more from our failures than our successes, so too will they.

We may wish families stayed together when we hear of a young family fractured, young children spending time with each parent separately instead of as a family. But, what if what is important is the love from each parent, not so much the love each parent has for each other? In an ideal world, everyone loves everyone and stays together forever, but we don’t live in an ideal world.

Expecting everything to be ideal is part of what disillusions us with life. Life is messy, relationships are messy, and when hard times come some pull together and some will pull apart. We might hope we are the ones that will pull together, we hope we can heal the breaches, we hope we can become stronger in the broken places, but we only control our side of the relationship, and if we are a mother watching our children living their lives, we have no control at all.

What we can offer as a mother is comfort, wisdom, understanding, and being there as much as possible without trying to take over. Our children grow up to take their place in the world, chart their course, and navigate the difficulties of life. We need to trust we’ve given them enough to become self-reliant, strong, and resilient people who can deal with what is theirs to deal with.

If we are lucky no matter what the distance was between us and our mother we had a close relationship, and even though one day she’s gone she still lives in our hearts. We are blessed if we have a good mother; it is our gift to our children and the world to be one.

Mom, you are the most beautiful memory I kept locked inside my heart. Narin Grewal

One day we will remember how lucky we were to have known their love, with wonder, not grief. Elizabeth Postle

Whenever I am missing you. I also remember how fortunate I was that you were in my life. I wouldn’t trade those moments for the world. Cindy Adkins

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Start with a dream; create a goal that becomes a plan, implement it, and make your dreams come true.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

We overestimate what we can do in one year, and underestimate what we can do in ten years. Bill Gates

We go between thinking we have all the time in the world to thinking we couldn’t possibly do that, it will take up too much time, and be too expensive. Somewhere between those two extremes is the truth.

We are amazed when we see what some people accomplish in a lifetime, and we might even amaze ourselves. We’ve been told if we can dream it, we can do it. That seems almost like Aladdin’s lamp but we must both dream and do to make things happen.

If we dream big dreams we must make big things happen and one of the things I’ve found is we will have to get out of our comfort zone to do it, and one of my comfort zones is my bed. It is easy to roll back over when the alarm rings, it is easy to say it is too expensive, but there are many kinds of expensive, and maybe with a little more ingenuity and a few sacrifices we can find a way to do the things we want to do.

Some people are seeing the world, or their country on a shoestring budget. Businesses are started from kitchen tables and garages. Great novels have been written in the spare time from busy lives. Little league coaches have a big impact on the lives of the children they coach.

There is power in making a decision, what we want is an innocent question, but if we dare to answer it we might change our lives forever. Before we can answer it we might have to do some soul searching. What do we want and what if we could have it? If we dare to ask for it, if we figure out in detail what it would look like, and what it would take to make it happen?

Dare to dream, then decide to do. Annette White

In my life, it’s taken me longer to go after some of what I’ve wanted than I think it should have, because it wasn’t clear in my mind what it was, what it would look like, and how it would fit into my life. We can’t have everything, and we will have to sacrifice something for what we want. We might not be able to live in a big house and travel the world. What if we can have one of those for part of our life and the other for a different part?

Retirement is a time when we get to make some big decisions again. What would we like to do in the years ahead while we have a choice about what we can do before our options are gone?

Two of my sisters are busier than they’ve ever been with all things quilting, and I wonder what their lives would look like if they hadn’t found this passion. Quilting added a dimension to Mom’s life, the colors, patterns, what she could do with the fabric, and who she could make it for gave her a way to use her creativity to create something that gives lasting joy.

Finding a way to bring creativity into our lives is a way to feed our souls. Suppose our creativity brings joy to others, what a win. Some people are canning jams, salsas, tomato sauce, making fruit leather and pickles. How wonderful to have a jar of love to open and serve to friends and family.

Making a home is an art, building a life we love is an art, and creating great relationships is an art. These things don’t just happen, someone makes them happen. The more we put into life the more we get out of it. We may have to pick and choose where we will put our time and energy because we can’t be in two places at once, but if we listen to the still, small voice inside, can we figure out what we truly want to do with our time and energy?

Is there an adventure calling to us? A dream that might take some rearranging to make happen that would enhance our life greatly? What if we went for it?

Dream what you dare to dream. Go where you want to go. Be what you want to be. Earl Nightingale

Daring to dream means daring to live. Robert H. Schuller

A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true. Greg S. Reid

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Finding awe every day. Do we find what we look for and focus on?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. Albert Einstein

Awe is all around us if we are open to it. A magnificent sunrise, sunset, or rainbow is awe-inspiring, and we can see the sunrise and sunset every day if we choose. Scientists are studying the power of awe in our lives and research suggests that experiencing awe can make us healthier, happier, humbler, and more connected with other people.

We may think we’d love to experience awe if we could go see the wonders of the world, but we don’t have to go far to find awe if we are looking for it. Engaging with nature, enjoying great music, and art are ways to bring awe into our lives.  Awe might be why we find nature restorative.

Research suggests we feel awe when we encounter something bigger than ourselves and going for a walk once a week will help us cultivate a sense of awe. We don’t always notice awe-inspiring moments but if we are looking for them we will find more of them than if we aren’t, at least this is what researchers believe.

We can find awe anywhere but we are told we will find it most often when surrounded by physical vastness and novelty.  We don’t have to visit the snowy peaks of Kilimanjaro at sunrise, the Grand Canyon, or Niagara Falls to feel awe; we can take a new path, go to a new park, find a new hiking trail, or look at the sunrise, sunset, and cloud formations from our own home.

See the world through the eyes of your inner child. The eyes that sparkle in awe and amazement as they see love, magic and mystery in the most ordinary things. Henna Sohail

Brief experiences of awe lead people to think about others more. In an eight-week study, people were asked to take three pictures, at the beginning, middle, and end of each walk. The researchers were surprised that people who experienced awe dedicated more space to the background of their photos and also had bigger smiles on their faces.

Dacher Keltner, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, and the author of Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life, defines awe as “the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world.” According to Dacher Keltner, awe is different from fear or an appreciation of beauty – though both can be present when awe is experienced.

To find awe, Dacher Keltner tells us we must look for “eight wonders of life.” These are nature, music, visual design, and moral beauty (when we witness people helping other people). More profound but less common is when we experience “collective effervescence,” the experience when our team wins, spiritual experiences, and epiphanies (when we learn something unexpected that changes our view). Births and deaths are awe-inspiring, the beginning and ending of life.

Often our encounters with awe are rare but they don’t need to be. If we look for awe we will find it in our everyday goings and comings. If we appreciate the small and the great things in our lives we may find awe in everything we see and touch.

Finding awe may make us more grateful, and being more grateful may help us be awe-struck by what we see. A small goal may be to have one awe-inspiring walk per week, and even if we walk the same path it is never the same because nature is always changing.

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. John Milton

If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields, has the power to move you, if the simple things of Nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive. Eleonora Duse

The world is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper. W.B. Yeats

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Baby’s first Christmas. Enjoying these happy, golden moments.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Robert Brault

Is it the baby’s first Christmas or is it all the people’s first Christmas with him that makes it special? Babies take up as much space in our lives as we give them. One baby becomes the center of our life, but the ninth baby fits into a family too. We will squeeze a little tighter at the dinner table until we need to create the kid’s table. Being part of a family is making room for one more. It might be a new partner for someone who is single, a new baby, or a friend whose family is far away.

The message and magic of Christmas are opening our hearts, widening our circle, and spreading good cheer.

The day after Christmas is the Feast of St Stephen, named after Stephen the first Christian martyr, appointed by the Apostles and stoned to death by those unwilling to be converted to Christianity.

Boxing Day to some of us is the biggest shopping day of the year when we go out looking for bargains. My husband asked me last night, “Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?” We’ll play it by ear, we have to be out today, but do we really want to bravely find a parking space? The exercise of walking will be good and with no cooking today, it is an easy day of rest and relaxation, whatever shape that takes.

Most humans are never fully present in the now because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life which is never, not now. Eckhart Tolle

We didn’t get to celebrate our nephew’s 50th birthday which was two years late because of the pandemic, this time the weather didn’t cooperate. We ended up doing what we did for his 50th birthday, we had a video call. We promised to get together when the weather will not likely be an issue.

This time between Christmas and New Year is a good time to reflect on the year past, and the year coming. What do we want more of, what do we want less of, and what needs to be different? Is life humming along on an even keel and we hope it will continue? That’s where I am right now, and if I can keep it steady I’ll be doing great.

There is so much to be grateful for, and so much contentment in this stage in life. We are watching our children with their spouses, our little grandson is growing every day, and our heart is full and overflowing with the blessings in our lives. We both still have our mothers we get to spend time with.

Change is always coming, seasons come and go, and we will have joy and sorrow. That is the way of life, but this moment is wonderful. We shouldn’t let the knowledge that hard days are coming, spoil the joy of what is. Can we wring all the joy out of our present day? Deal with each day as it comes and with its gifts and challenges live fully in the moment.

This is the challenge I am giving myself this coming year. To live fully in the moment and enjoy what each day brings.

Instead of bracing yourself for the perils of the unknown embrace the joy that is here in your present moment. Michelle Cruz Rosado

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is one thing we can do, and the happiest people are those who can do it to the limit of their ability. We can be completely present. We can be all here. We can give all our attention to the opportunity before us. Mark Van Doren

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To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books, and a special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the picture and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Smile and spread joy, feed your soul with creativity and enjoy the life you have.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. J.R.R. Tolkien

This has been a fun weekend and it was topped off by a chat with my cousin whose husband came out to watch the Blue Jays. She thought he might want to give us a call but he was busy doing what he should do, see the sights of Niagara Falls, the CN tower, and whatever else he could fit in. A friend on Saturday night said her family went on a speed boat ride close to the falls and it was fantastic. Sounds like fun, I’d love to do it.

There are so many things to see and do. We just have to get out and see and do them. Some are expensive but there is a lot to enjoy even on a budget. Are we the type of people to enjoy simple adventures, and the occasional extraordinary ones? Are we looking to get as much fun out of our days as we can? The more we put into life the more we get out of it. The more fun we have with other people the more fun they have with us.

Watching our four-month-old grandson brings home the point you don’t need anything to be happy, and you can have everything and be unhappy. Mostly he is filled with joy and he spreads it wherever he goes. Such is the power of babies. Being able to see the world through a child’s eyes is a gift. It is wonderful to experience things as he experiences them, and this will be one of the great joys as he sees and experiences new things, we will again experience them in a new way.

Babies are like little suns that, in a magical way, bring warmth, happiness, and light into our lives. Unknown

George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” At the end of our chat yesterday my cousin sent a photo of a sunset she painted and on it, she wrote the quote, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. C.S. Lewis. She says putting colors on paper makes her feel real joy and is so much fun. This is what creativity does for us, and it is something that we bring into our lives to feed our souls. We aren’t sitting on the sidelines waiting for…

The more we are able to entertain ourselves with creative pursuits instead of waiting to be entertained the better it is for us. We will have more to share with others, and as we get older we will be less needy and lonely. For many people what we have been through has been very lonely and heartbreaking. But those who have kept creative I bet have fared the best.

We can’t put a smile on anyone’s face but our own, but a smile on our face may help someone else put a smile on theirs, and they in turn may inspire another smile. This is how we can spread joy, one smile at a time.

Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get. H. Jackson Brown Jr

Kids, take such joy in the little things. We should too. Unknown

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those that read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Contentment and happiness. Are we content where we are, or are we waiting for something to make us happy?

Are we content where we are, or are we waiting for something to make us happy? Contentment and happiness.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Forget yesterday – it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow – you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift – today. Steve Maraboli

A wise person does not grieve for what they don’t have but rejoices in those things they do have. Today is a wonderful day, we’ve never seen this one before.

Are we content where we are, with the season and circumstances we are in? Are we waiting for something to happen so we’ll be happy? We’ll be happy when we get married, after the baby comes, after the baby goes to school, when the baby finishes school, university, gets married, and makes us a grandparent, etc. We can wait away our life for the when we thought would make us happy. There is no moment when everything will be perfect. If we are waiting to exhale, we are focusing on the wrong things.

Today is our day, with all its problems, potential, joys, and sorrows. This is it, and when tomorrow comes it will be today. We only get to enjoy today, hope for tomorrow, and look back on yesterday. When we realize we should have enjoyed yesterday it’s in the past not to be relived. Hopefully, we enjoyed it when it was today.

On Monday I found out one of my aunts died at age one-hundred. Her husband was born on October 16th, he died on October 16th sixty-four years ago, and she died on October 16th. She spent a few years as a married woman but most of her life she was a widow and had to finish raising their sons alone. We don’t know how life will work out which is why we need to be happy in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.

Today is the day we have to enjoy, love, celebrate, and be grateful for the beauty and bounty in our lives. We don’t know how long we have or what circumstances we will be in. We don’t know if tomorrow will be better than today so enjoy today, be happy today.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie

Remember the song, “I’d trade all of my tomorrows, for a single yesterday.” Did they enjoy yesterday when it was theirs to enjoy or only in retrospect? Life always comes with challenges. Being single had its challenges and being married has its. Working for someone has challenges, having our own business has challenges, and being retired has its own challenges. Living in the country has challenges, and living in the city also has challenges.

We might be asking “Are we there yet?” Where is there, and what are we expecting it to be when it comes? Often there is no there. Because what we think of as there is a new set of challenges we weren’t expecting. Life is a journey of ups and downs, springs, summers, falls, and winters. We may feel we are always playing catch-up. Just when we think we’ll have enough, it isn’t enough anymore. Is the secret, knowing that what we have is enough no matter what that is?

If we are alive obviously we have enough to keep on living. Can we be content in the circumstances we find ourselves in?

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. G. K. Chesterton

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Robert Brault

If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get. Frank A. Clark

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link below and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Be an encourager of others. Helping others to reach their goals helps us to meet ours. Are we looking on the bright side?

Helping others to reach their goals helps us to meet ours. Be an encourager of others. Are we looking on the bright side?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

If you want your dream to come to pass, help somebody else’s dream come to pass. Joel Osteen

Last night I asked myself, “What will I write about tomorrow?” When I looked over at my bedside table I’d taken the book I was reading downstairs and instead of going down to get it, I picked a different book off my shelf. “The Power of I Am” by Joel Osteen, he promises two words will change our life. Those two words are I am … What we say after I am has a big impact on our life.

Do we say we are perfectly and wonderfully made or do we say we are stupid, ugly, old, and unwell? Do we say I am rich, healthy, prosperous, content, happy, loved, and blessed, or do we say I am poor, broke, unhappy, mistreated, unloved, used, abused, and unwell?

Are we lying if we say we are well when we are unwell? Even if we have some problem don’t we still have many things we can be grateful for? Another author tells us instead of saying things we think are lies we should ask our self why are we rich, healthy, content, happy, prosperous, blessed, and loved? The idea is to look at what we have with a grateful heart, and to find contentment where we are as we work, dream, and aspire.

It is a fault of mine to look at institutions and think they should be better. They also could be worse and I should be grateful they are not. When it is in my power I should contribute to making things better instead of moaning about what they are not. If we are moving towards whatever it is we constantly say, then we better watch what comes out of our mouth, and even the thoughts we think.

If we stumble upon a lotus in the muck are we seeing the lotus or only the muck? Can two people be living the same life and one see things positively and one see things negatively? Would it seem like they lived with different circumstances even though to anyone looking on they have the same life?

When you’re in peace, it’s a position of power. Joel Osteen

We are told to, “Call the things that are not, as if they already were.” Instead, we often call the things that are as if they will always be.” When we describe our situation negatively we bring more of what we don’t like upon ourselves. We are told we can use our words to bless instead of curse the situation.

Joel Osteen says his daughter looked at the cover of two of his books. She thought he looked better on the cover of the one where he was ten years older. Haven’t we all seen people who are aging beautifully, with health, and vitality? What if we have a choice to age well with a sharp decline at the end or age poorly with a long decline of ill health? What if that is more up to us than we realize?

Some people prosper making the same amount of money others feel broke on. What if that too is a choice? What if good and bad marriages have the same amount of problems and the difference is the attitude of the couple. Could two people be in the same marriage and one thinks it is a good marriage and the other is thinking it isn’t? In my own family, I hear different views of things and wonder how we can see things so differently.

What if it isn’t so much what happens to us in life but our attitude? What if that is what makes the difference? Is that in our control? What if we can be happy amidst the most horrendous of circumstances, and unhappy in the best? What if living a life of gratitude and generosity is a choice we make daily and is not at all dependant on the circumstances in our lives? Does a merry heart doeth good like a medicine?

Don’t wait for people to approve you, affirm you, or validate you. Joel Osteen

What limits you is what you’re believing. Joel Osteen

We all go through the valleys, but the valleys are what lead us to higher mountains. Joel Osteen

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon links below and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Happy Thanksgiving Day! Can we count our blessings every day and live each day with a grateful heart?

Can we count our blessings every day and live each day with a grateful heart? Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance. Eckhart Tolle.

Happy Thanksgiving Day. We have so much to be thankful for. We all have some problems, sometimes they can be overwhelming but if we can find and focus on what we have to be grateful for instead of the problems, life is better.

We are more fun to be around when we see the sunny side of life. Gratitude magnifies the good in our life and ingratitude magnifies the bad. If we get what we focus on then choosing what we focus on is very important.

Is it easy to be grateful when we live in a land of peace and plenty? I hear a lot of grumbling and even grumble myself some days.

The opposite of lack is abundance. Having a grateful mindset doesn’t mean we have everything we want, it means we are grateful for everything we have. How often have we said we can’t afford something when we mean we don’t choose to buy it? Are we grateful we have the choice? I’ve heard people lament over the amount of choice they have in the marketplace. Really, this is a complaint because with all that choice we don’t know what to choose.

When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. Willie Nelson

We are told to focus on what we want and be grateful for what we have. Living this way makes the best of what we have and the future. This makes sense. There are times in my life when I wanted to be a writer but I didn’t want to focus on it because then I had to act on it. I would be accountable for the amount of writing I did or didn’t do. We can’t call ourselves a writer if we don’t write. I don’t feel bad that I focused on the kids and not my writing because now I focus on my writing and the kids (adults) can focus on and manage their own lives.

It is a joy to have art and writing to focus on in this stage of life. Creativity may be an antidote to some of the negativity that is being focused on. Is it good to live in our own little bubble of positivity? Dealing with only what is ours to deal with? If we do our civic duty and vote then isn’t it the job of the people voted in to run the country to the best of their ability and if we let them do that it may be better for everyone. Why wring our hands over decisions that aren’t ours to make when we have so much of our own business to manage. Business, that often doesn’t get managed when we are trying to manage everyone else’s. What if we each got our own house in order before criticizing others? What if we are thankful for all the abundance in our lives?

Don’t we feel grateful every morning when we turn on the tap, flush the toilet, make coffee, or cook something? Just think what it would have taken for all of those things to happen not that many years ago. Many of us haven’t lived with having to haul water, go to an outhouse, or start a fire before cooking. It isn’t that many years ago that was the reality of life. Most of us don’t have to kill something before we can eat.

Sometimes we worry about what the future holds, but the future for many of us has gotten better and better? We are problem solvers and if we each solve the problems in front of us and let others solve the problems in front of them, we will continue to move forward making life better.

Worrying doesn’t do anything but being grateful for what we have, that’s a game-changer.

It is better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness. Chinese Proverb

When you focus on what you lack you lose what you have. When you focus on what you have you get what you lack. George McKeown

The thankful heart opens our eyes to a multitude of blessings that continually surround us. James A. Faust

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Does being grateful make us happier? Does gratitude make a difference?

Does gratitude make a difference? Does being grateful make us happier?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul. Harold Kushner

Feelings of gratitude flood my being as I sit here writing. That I am able to write is something I am deeply grateful for. The computer I write with, the notebooks I can purchase, the pens I buy. The internet allows me to push a button and put my words out to the world. The health and strength I am blessed with. I am grateful for my family, my muse Lulu, my home, my livelihood, living in peace and plenty. There is so much to be grateful for, my cup runneth over.

Does being grateful make a difference in our lives? A study published by the Greater Good Science Centre at UC Berkeley tells us that 300 college students seeking mental health counseling at one university were randomly assigned to one of three groups.

The first group was required to write a letter of gratitude to another person each week for three weeks. The second group wrote down their negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The third group did not engage in any writing activity.

The results: The first group reported significantly improved mental health, lowering of depression and anxiety at the four-week mark as well as 12 weeks after the writing exercise ended.

Researchers dug deeper using an MRI scanner they found the brain activity of the gratitude versus negative writing groups differed. Three months after the writing activities the grateful group showed greater activation in the medial prefrontal cortex, an area in the brain associated with learning and decision making. This indicates that simply by expressing gratitude we may have a lasting effect on our brain. Shifting our thoughts away from toxic emotions improves our well-being.

Thank you” is the essence of nonviolence. It contains respect for the other person, humility, and a profound affirmation of life. It possesses a positive, upbeat optimism. It has strength. A person who can sincerely say thank you has a healthy, vital spirit; and each time we say it our hearts sparkle and our life force rises up powerfully from the depths of our being. (April 2015 Living Buddhism, p. 16)

Does this make some people feel worse or better? Are we more in control of our lives than we think we are? This information comes to us wrapped in new wrapping from time to time. It is part of all religious traditions.

“There’s something called a grateful personality that some psychologists have studied,” said Jo-Ann Tsang, a psychologist at Baylor University. They find that if you’re greater in the grateful personality, you tend to have increased life satisfaction, happiness, optimism, hope, positive emotion, and … less anxiety and depression.”

Can we uncouple gratitude from religion?

Robert Emmons a psychologist at the University of California says. Gratitude is the truest approach to life. We did not create or fashion ourselves. We did not birth ourselves. Life is about giving, receiving, and repaying. We are receptive beings, dependent on the help of others, on their gifts, and their kindness.

“You see—none of this have I framed in a religious context or using religious/spiritual language,” he concluded.

Michael McCullough a psychologist at the University of Miami thinks there’s another reason for the ubiquity of gratitude: It’s an evolutionarily beneficial trait, hardwired into the human brain.

“Even things that are culturally constructed have to have a home somewhere up in the mind to come out in our thoughts and our behavior,” he said. “Like all emotions, [gratitude] was plausibly designed by natural selection. There’s some tissue up in the head whose job it is to produce gratitude.”

The evolutionary explanation for this, he said, is probably that gratitude helps people initiate friendships and alliances—which then help people survive.

His research suggests that when people do nice things for others unexpectedly, that produces gratitude—and increases the likelihood that people will do something “in-kind” (“a really rich phrase, when you think about it,” he added). Although scientists can’t know the exact neurological nature of gratitude, they look at behaviors like these as a proxy for understanding why people feel certain emotions, like thankfulness.

Wow, all we thought we were doing is saying “thank you.” According to these experts, we are changing our brains. If we practice gratitude in our lives we make our life better regardless of whether we see gratitude as a religious practice or merely a way of being. It seems gratitude is the choice we should all make. It costs us nothing to be grateful, pays huge dividends, eases our relationships with other people, and improves our brain.

Is there a difference between gratitude and feeling grateful?

“Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts. Henry Frederic Amiel

Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues but the parent of all others. Marcus Tullius Cicero

Gratitude is the best medicine. It heals your mind, your body, and your spirit, and attracts more things to be grateful for. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

Thank you to everyone that reads my book, and a special thank you to everyone that leaves a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the picture below and purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Gratitude and generosity. Respecting others and respecting ourselves. Are we living by the golden rule?

Are we living by the golden rule? Gratitude and generosity. Respecting others and respecting ourselves.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

When you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect toward others. The Dalai Lama

Are we living lives of gratitude and generosity? If when we help others we help ourselves. What does real help look like? Some people seem naturally more giving, generous, and helpful. I don’t mean the givers of advice and criticism where I may find myself. Is it easier in small communities to be helpful and generous?

How do we cultivate an attitude of generosity and gratitude? There is a form of generosity that I think if we would adopt would go a long way toward healing the hurts so many people have. We need to extend grace toward people who have wronged us, this generous act will gradually change how we see ourselves, our world, and our future. This isn’t easy when we feel people misjudge us, and ascribe motives to actions we don’t agree with.

This of course is easy for me to say because I haven’t been wronged very often in my life. I am blessed to live in peace and plenty. I haven’t traveled extensively but the few places I’ve gone have always welcomed me. If I’m not grateful for the life I’ve been blessed to live, what was I expecting would be enough to start being grateful?

We won the genetic lottery just being born. In my life, I’ve never gone a single day hungry that I didn’t choose as a fast day. I am grateful for good health and the good health of my family. I am grateful for prosperity even though I don’t consider myself rich. At this stage in my life, I still have goals and dreams and I am grateful for that.

My son tells me I am not a positive person, and I know what he is saying is true. I have second-guessed myself in ways I don’t think a truly positive person would. Perhaps if I was given a choice I would be different than I am but I’m okay with who I am, the life I’ve lived, and the choices I’ve made. They haven’t always been the best choices. Does anyone anywhere always make the best choices in every situation? Would that even be possible? What would we learn if we never made mistakes? How would we grow if we never failed?

Whenever you share the goodness in your heart. You always end up a winner because life is an echo. It gives you back what you have given. Unknown

I think of the Canadian Author who has a multi-million dollar contract for her first two novels. The first one is now published. Does early success work for us or against us? Do we always need to find a way to use our successes as stepping stones to other successes? Regardless of the heights we achieve, we can’t sit there; we need challenges and accomplishments throughout our life. We dream of overnight success, but is it what we really want? Isn’t it better to build success over time incrementally so we’ve built a strong foundation? If I was offered the multi-million dollar deal for my first novel and the sequel I am writing what effect would it have on my life? My retirement would be assured. I would feel I never have to work again, but would that be a good thing?

I am enjoying the little successes that are coming my way. A conversation with someone that tells me, “You are exactly who we are looking for to feature on our talk show, and it only costs $1250.00 American.”

“I’m looking for free publicity right now,” I tell her. We end our call and she tells me, “If you change your mind call me anytime.” It is not such a crazy price that I couldn’t pay it. I am hoping that Internet Radio Shows and regular radio shows looking for guests will contact me, or be interested when I contact them. Maybe “Pay to Play” has its advantages, maybe it doesn’t. I’m too new at this to know.

The publicity part of being an author is new to me. I am enjoying it. The one Internet Radio Show I was featured on was fun. “In the Author’s Corner with Etienne,” he’s a good host and put me at ease. We talked and laughed for an hour on air with no awkward dead spots. I am grateful he gave a newbie Indy author the opportunity to be on his show.

If we are grateful for the opportunities in our life we are told we will get more. If we want to be forgiven for our trespasses we must forgive others their trespasses against us. We may never live up to what we expect a life of gratitude and generosity should look like, but we can work toward becoming more grateful and generous. We can take a step, another, and then another. Where it will take us we do not know. We may be on a lifelong journey we can’t imagine.

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch heaven. Johannes A Gaertner

Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. John Wesley

Life is an Echo. What you send out comes back. What you sow you reap. What you give you get. What you see in others exists in you. Regardless of who you are or what you do, if you are looking for the best way to reap the most reward in all areas of your life, you should look for the good in every person and in every situation and adopt the golden rule as a way of life. Zig Ziglar

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day full of gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

Thank you to everyone that reads my novel Secrets and Silence and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the picture and purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

J

B