If you want to succeed, focus on changing yourself, not others. Unknown
Tonight I am to give an inspiring speech at Toastmasters. What makes an inspiring speech? How are we inspired and how do we inspire others? I’m beginning to believe most if not all of this is an inside job. We don’t inspire others. If we are inspired we find inspiration in others and it inspires us more.
When I think of the kind of inspiration a lot of us would like to be able to give, we want to light a fire under people who need a fire lit underneath them. We want to change those who do not, will not, or cannot change. The inspiration they need will not be pushed on them by someone. They will search it out, stumble upon it themselves, or see a light in the darkness they can move toward.
Part of this seems like terrible news, but part of it frees us to realize we are the change we need to see. When we are inspired we might inspire someone not because we are lighting a fire under them but because we are like a lamp that has turned on, and they can see possibilities in the darkness, possibilities for them. When we see someone like ourselves, achieve things we think maybe we can do it too. We have to come to that conclusion, no one can make us see that we can do it, or should pursue it. Inspiration then is not a push, but a pull toward something someone wants, not a push toward something they should do. We spend a lot of time trying to control others to get them to do what we want, what we know would be good for them, or what would be better for society.
My speech tonight is about what I am going to say in an artist statement video. I’m going to give a speech within a speech asking for feedback. Will it be an inspiring speech? It is not an, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,” speech.” It is not a folksy Jim Rohn, inspirational speech. It might not come under inspirational speeches at all. I have an opportunity to ask, what do you think of my sixty-second artist introduction?
Don’t be ashamed of your story it will inspire others. Unknown
I’m thinking about what is inspiring. My parents moved to Northern Saskatchewan as kids during the dirty thirties. Their parents were homesteaders and there were no schools in those early days. They grew up and went their way and then they each went back, met up, and got married. When I was a kid it was an area of prospering farms, we were bused to school in town. We had opportunities my parents couldn’t dream of when they were kids. If anyone, anywhere has an idyllic childhood we did. It was an inspiring time of growth and opportunity.
We need to find inspiration where we are to make things better, to help ourselves, and to help others. We shouldn’t as the bible says hide our light under a bushel. We need to be inspired to find inspiration in others. Remember the song, “This Little Light of Mine.” The answer may be to find what inspires ourselves and by being inspired we may inspire others.
The question we should be asking ourselves might be what do we find inspiring? When do we feel inspired to do, to change, and to reach for something? Are we cursing the darkness, or lighting a lamp?
What you do has a far greater impact than what you say. Stephen Covey
You don’t need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections. Wilson Kanadi
Be the kind of person that makes other people want to up their game. Unknown
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Writers are nothing but beggars with a good line. Charles Bukowski
Are we choosing beggars or do we meet them regularly? One of the ways to be unhappy in life is to expect other people to react in certain ways, be grateful, understanding, thoughtful, kind, respectful, and reasonable. The less we expect of others the less they will disappoint us. When we expect more of ourselves and less from others it works but when we expect more from others and less from ourselves, it does not.
I came across “Top Ten Reasons It Costs More To Get Your Pet Groomed Than Your Own Haircut.” I won’t put them all down, but – your hairdresser doesn’t wash, clean, and groom your rear end, says it all. We expect a lot from pet groomers. When we had our Scottie he hated being groomed and the groomer earned every penny of that fee. Cutting his nails – that was a test of determination and persistence.
Sometimes we think we are charged too much for something that didn’t take that much time to do. Knowing what to do is a big part of what we paid for and we sometimes forget that.
Someone on the internet says he tried to give money to a guy begging for money. The guy told him he doesn’t take less than $5.00. That’s choosey, but doesn’t a dollar from five people equal five dollars?
I’ve heard of people offering free stuff and being asked to deliver it.
Beggars can’t be choosey is not new. The term was first recorded in print in 1546 when it appeared in a book of proverbs by John Heywood. Entitled people who are not grateful are not new. This isn’t a sign of our times or something we are doing wrong in the upbringing of our children. We have always had people who are ungrateful and entitled. When we think back to what we think life might have been like in 1546 we think you wouldn’t be a choosey beggar then, but apparently, people were.
Human nature doesn’t change. This is why proverbs from all cultures and religions ring true. We are more alike than we are different regardless of where we grew up, or the circumstances and times of our life.
It is why when we read Tolstoy’s quote, “Happy families are all the same and unhappy ones are unhappy in their own way,” it rings true because we see the commonalities in happy families. People with miserable lives have often created their own kind of misery. It isn’t popular to say that we are responsible for our own lives, but isn’t it true that we can make the best of something or the worst of it regardless of the circumstances?
Don’t be a beggar of love, be a donor of love. Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful. Unknown
Gratitude seems to be the difference. The problem with choosey beggars is they never seem grateful for what they are being offered. Their attitude turns people off and instead of getting, they get less and may become resentful of the attitude they create in the people that would help them.
I need to ask myself, when am I a choosey beggar. When am I not grateful enough for the bounty and blessings in my life? It is easy to see the mistakes and missteps of others, but we often make excuses for our own mistakes and missteps.
Yesterday I asked my daughter to read the children’s book I’m preparing for publication. She was reading what I’ve uploaded to Amazon. I was hoping she would say, “It’s perfect, I love it,” but she didn’t. “You need more pictures. Children love to look at the pictures because they can’t read.” She even told me where she thought I should explain a bit more and what kind of picture I should add.
I took her advice. I added two lines to explain what was happening. Last night I started working on the missing painting and thinking about a second one I can add. When we ask for people’s input we need to welcome it. She could have told me what I wanted to hear, but that wouldn’t be helpful. I could ignore what she told me but that won’t make my book better. By accepting her advice and acting upon it she will tell me what she thinks in the future. If I ignore what she says, she would probably not bother to try and help me make it better.
It is hard to accept criticism, but it is the only way we can make things better. She also pointed something out to me I should have noticed but didn’t. When we have people in our lives that will give us their honest opinion we should be grateful, and accept their opinion with grace. We may not always think their opinion is correct, but we need to let them know we appreciate their viewpoint and did consider it even if in the end we did not change things.
If we are begging for feedback or other things don’t we need to accept what is offered?
A beggar’s hand is a bottomless basket. Dutch proverb
I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. Elizabeth 1
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
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It is possible to be busy-very-busy-without being very effective. Stephen Covey
Are we busy and effective or just busy? There’s a difference between being busy and being productive. I found out this week when my son asked me for my Amazon affiliate link that I was busily doing what I thought I should without being effective. I wasn’t using the correct link on my blog to link to my account. Looking back I wonder what kind of magical thinking was I doing to think I didn’t have to use a special link.
How often in our lives do things not work out for us because we only understand part of the process?. We don’t have a plan. Our neighbor has an orderly tomato patch pruned and supported, mine is not so orderly but it is still producing more tomatoes than we can eat. Sometimes we get away without a plan but often we do not.
I found planning my writing this year has been a lot more productive than just writing aimlessly. In a year I have my second novel to give to my book club to read and give me feedback as I continue editing it. The children’s book I’m working on I’m giving to them to read as well. If I hadn’t set up a plan a year ago I wouldn’t have accomplished as much as I have.
It is easy to make ourselves busy without accomplishing much. It is also easy to start a day off with a plan and be astounded at what we get done. Is it as easy to be organized and orderly as to be disorganized and messy? Is it a choice we make which we will be?
In Larry Winget’s book “You’re Broke Because You Want To Be” he tells us yes it is a choice. He’s not talking about broke and poor. Poverty is a problem he doesn’t have answers to. We can be broke at any income level, and we can be paying our bills and prospering at any income level.
My mother tells me in the early days of her first marriage they had their budget down to the penny. Her husband quit smoking for a week to buy her a Christmas present. Before easy credit, you bought what you could pay for. Larry Winget tells us some people he deals with have no idea how much more money they are spending than they make. They don’t have a plan to prosper.
Charles Dickens quote is still true. “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expense nineteen pounds and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds nought and six, result misery.
We all manage our lives but are we effective? We may think we are being effective like I did with my Amazon affiliate account, and find we are only being busy. When we realize our mistake we can correct it and go forward. My son is well versed in computers and helps me with my blog and will answer all of my questions and help me in any way. The problem is I don’t always know what to ask, I don’t know what I don’t know.
We don’t know what we don’t know until we stumble across something that tells us. This is why we need to be willing to learn throughout our lives. Other people have better ways of doing things, they have a better plan, and they’ve learned how to be more effective. In books, knowledge is generously shared and we have access to the greatest minds through their writing.
In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. Eleanor Roosevelt
Famous writers are writing blogs and books, sharing their secrets of plotting, pacing, and planning. If we need to know more about money management and investing, there’s a book. Are we interested in organization and planning, there’s a book. Do we want to start a small business on the side, there’s a book. Do we want to get fit and healthy, there’s a book. Self-improvement and motivation, there’s a book.
When I was on holiday I visited a thrift shop with my sister-in-law and niece, and there was the book “The Push” by Ashley Audrain that got the author a two million dollar advance for a two-book deal. I scooped it up and read it while on holiday and left it for my mother to read. It’s a dark psychological thriller that is a thought-provoking and engaging read.
There is more to getting a big book deal than writing a good book, but if we don’t write a good book we won’t be getting that deal and readers will not be telling someone, “You have to read this book.”
We don’t know what we will produce when we start something. If we don’t produce something nothing happens. We have to be willing to fail to succeed. We have to be willing to start to finish.
It is not enough to be busy… The question is: what are we busy about? Henry David Thoreau
We may be very busy, we may be very efficient, but we will also be truly effective only when we begin with the end in mind. Stephen R. Covey
Being busy and being productive are two different things. Unknown
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Belonging has always been a fundamental driver of humankind. Brian Chesky
If someone invites you to attend a Toastmasters contest do yourself a favor and go. The speeches are usually about real-life situations, some are about dealing with something that brings us to our knees. Last night was a Division contest with eight speakers and next Thursday will be another Division contest. My husband is not a Toastmaster but he came with me and enjoyed it.
One of the speeches was from a young woman who at twenty-one had a stroke and became legally blind and paralyzed on her left side. She worked hard at relearning to walk and continued her studies to become a teacher. The chaplain that came to see her asked her if she had the drive to thrive. She just wanted to be normal. He assured her normal was over-rated. She harnessed the drive to thrive, she’s lived it and she’s written a book called My Unforeseen Journey Losing Sight Gaining Vision by Melanie Taddeo-Nxumalo.
I first met her at a Writer’s Group. She’s doing what we all should do, taking lemons and making lemonade. She’s the second legally blind woman I’ve met at Toastmasters. They are both striking in their courage.
All the
speeches were fantastic but her story was the one about personal courage,
fortitude, and overcoming challenges that resonated with me the most.
One of the things with Toastmasters is sometimes the only commonality we have with other members is our membership in Toastmasters and the desire to be better speakers. This brings people from all walks of life, backgrounds, ages, experiences, and stories together.
We can move
to a new Toastmaster club wherever our lives take us. We can take a hiatus and
come back. We can reconnect with people we met in Toastmasters throughout the
years.
People have to see that there is a high degree of complexity about belonging to a gang. It’s a symptom, not a problem. Greg Boyle
Being a
member of a group pays dividends in our lives. There are many groups to be part
of and some people are members of many groups. We are told having a strong
identification with a social group can help protect against mental illness.
Professor
Fabio Sani and colleagues from the University of Dundee presented the results
of studies at the Annual Conference of the British Psychological Society’s
Division of Clinical Psychology in Glasgow in 2014.
The first
study identifying the power of groups was conducted with 1814 adults who were
assessed on their identification with family, local community, and a social group chosen by the participant, as
well as self-reported depression.
The second
study involved 1111 Scottish high school students, assessed whether they
identified with their family, friends, and school. Participants were asked to
self-assess symptoms of psychological distress.
In the first
study adults who did not identify with any group were found to be almost 20
times more likely to be depressed, and three times more likely to be prescribed
antidepressants in the last six months.
In the second study, high school students who did not identify with any groups were found to be four times more likely to experience psychological distress than students who identified with their family, friends, and school.
Professor Fabio Sani says: “Group life may shield people from depression. However, this can only happen when one subjectively identifies with in-groups. In addition, the more groups we identify with, the better our mental health is likely to be.”
Being part of a group is good for our mental health. Is there a group we would like to join? Meeting new people, learning new things, growth and opportunity are waiting for us. Joining a group can open doors, and we can discover things about ourselves we don’t know. Would joining a group set us on the path of our next adventure?
I think there’s something about having a purpose in life and a sense of belonging that is more important than money for any human being. Ian Gillan
No matter how brilliant your mind or strategy, if you’re playing a solo game, you’ll always lose out to a team. Reid Hoffman
We are a social animal, power only exists in a social sense, we have to work in groups. Robert Greene
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My Unforeseen Journey: Losing Sight Gaining Vision Paperback – 2019
The fully matured man has no fear, no defense; he is psychologically completely open and vulnerable. Osho
Last night was the speech
contest at my Toastmasters club. We had a good turnout, five contestants, and a
test speaker for the evaluation contest. Six fabulous speeches to listen to.
The speeches that resonate
are the ones where people get real, vulnerable and tell truths about themselves
that are truths about the rest of us as well. People we think are the most
confident people we know have hidden fears they aren’t good enough. They fear
they haven’t been good enough people, parents, and partners.
We feel we don’t measure
up. But, what do we think we need to measure up too? We all have strengths,
weaknesses, failings, and successes. As one speaker said last night we need to
fight for the successes in our life, some of the other stuff comes and we just
live with it. But success, in life, love, relationships, career, and character
we have to work on.
Isn’t that part of what
makes life so great? We can choose areas we want to improve in and then we can
set out to improve our lives in little and big ways.
A man, who thirty years ago had a hard time introducing himself to someone because of his stutter, won the speech contest last night. He has to tell us he has a stutter because it isn’t evident. That didn’t just happen, he didn’t just outgrow it. He went to a five-day workshop which helped. and then twenty years ago he joined Toastmasters.
Developing ourselves and watching others develop is a great joy in life. It’s one of the reasons I prefer regular Toastmaster’s clubs to advanced clubs. I like seeing the growth that takes place at the beginning of someone’s Toastmaster journey.
Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure. Bob Marley
For some people, an organization like Toastmasters is a hop on and away they go. For others it fills a greater need, for some, it is a way to tell their stories, and as they tell their stories, they find their voice, and themselves.
Some people find their voice through writing; some people find it through public speaking. Singing, art, and any form of self-expression feeds our soul. Do we suffer when we don’t express our truest selves?
Do we worry about being vulnerable like vulnerability is a weakness and not strength? We sometimes develop hard crusty shells to hide our vulnerability, but when we embrace it, other people can get to know us. Don’t we connect on a deeper level?
Often we are defensive
instead of vulnerable. We don’t take chances because we might fail. If we try
and put ourselves out there we are vulnerable to failure. We are living life,
we are thriving.
When we live an open, honest life and take the chances life offers we are vulnerable. This has nothing to do with being manly, or womanly. We need to live our lives open to joy, pain, sorrow, excitement, love, despair, and all that life has to offer. When we protect ourselves from feeling, we miss much of what life has to offer.
When we choose to be
vulnerable and feel, instead of defensive and not feel, we are choosing a
better life. Finding a way to tell our stories, feed our soul through some
creative endeavor we live a healthier, fuller, and more connected life.
Are we choosing to be
vulnerable or defensive? Are we open or closed to all, or some of what life has
to offer?
Vulnerability is terrifying. The courage it takes to reveal your heart is one of the most daunting…and yet rewarding experiences in life. It will set you free. Unknown
Vulnerability is the only bridge to build connection. Unknown
Emotional pain cannot kill you but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal. Vironika Tugaleva
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough” Paperback – Dec 27 2007
We probably all believe we should be strong enough to admit we are wrong and make amends. What if we don’t think the other person or people should be offended? Do we apologize just for appeasement?
An apology is a show of strength. It’s an act of true honesty, being that we admit we did something wrong. It’s an act of generosity because it restores the self-concept of those we offended. It offers hope for a renewed relationship and strengthens our connection with the people we hurt.
We can hurt
other people when we have insulted others intentionally or unintentionally.
When we hurt others unintentionally we often feel they are too sensitive. “You
know what I meant, even if that isn’t what I said.”
There are four basic motives for apologizing taken from Psychology Today Go Ahead, Say You’re Sorry.
The first is to salvage or restore the relationship. Whether you’ve hurt someone you love, enjoy, or just plain need as your ally in an office situation, an apology may well rekindle the troubled relationship.
You may have purely empathic reasons for apologizing. You regret that you have caused someone to suffer and you apologize to diminish or end their pain.
Some people apologize simply to escape punishment, such as the criminal who apologizes to his victim in exchange for a lesser plea.
Others apologize simply to relieve themselves of a guilty conscience. They feel so ashamed of what they did that, even though it may not have bothered you that much, they apologize profusely. A long letter explaining why the offender was a half-hour late to dinner would be such an occasion. And in so doing, they are trying to maintain some self-respect, because they are nurturing an image of themselves in which the offense, lack of promptness, violates some basic self-concept.
Arguments drag out because one is too stubborn to forgive and the other is too proud to apologize. Unknown
The largest
stumbling block to apologizing is our belief that doing so is a sign of
weakness and an admission of guilt. Many of us have the misguided belief that
we are better ignoring or denying and become defensive instead of just saying
I’m sorry.
Here’s the rub and what I think gets us in trouble, what are we saying we are sorry for? Sometimes we are sorry because someone took something the wrong way, or believes we did something we believe we did not do. We didn’t mean what they think we meant. Should it hurt us to apologize when our speech filter isn’t working one hundred percent? Or do we get our back up because although we do know our speech filter wasn’t working one hundred percent, we are now offended that our awkwardness with words is interpreted how it is?
We feel as
offended as the people we have offended. Sometimes we get our back up and we are more
offended than those we offended. Sometimes the people who could be offended aren’t
as offended as those that are offended on their behalf.
What of the
botched apology; the apology which is intended but not delivered perhaps by
ineptness and awkwardness, or delivered but not accepted. Failed apologies can
have serious social consequences and strain a relationship beyond repair, or
worse, create life-long grudges and bitter vengeance.
The most
compelling and common reason to apologize is over a personal offense. Whether
we’ve ignored, belittled, betrayed, or publicly humiliated someone or groups of
someone’s, the common denominator of any personal offense is that we’ve
diminished or injured someone’s view of themselves. How we view ourselves is
how we feel about who we are, how we would like to be, and how we want to be
perceived by others.
ANATOMY OF AN APOLOGY – taken from Psychology Today – Go Ahead, Say You’re Sorry
But in practice, it’s not as easy as it sounds. There’s a right way and a wrong way to apologize. There are several integral elements of any apology and unless they are accounted for, an apology is likely to fail.
First, you have to acknowledge that a moral norm or an understanding of a relationship was violated, and you have to accept responsibility for it. You must name the offense–no glossing over in generalities like, “I’m sorry for what I have done.” To be a success, the apology has to be specific–“I betrayed you by talking behind your back” or “I missed your daughter’s wedding.”
You also have to show you understand the nature of your wrongdoing and the impact it had on the person–“I know I hurt you and I am so very sorry.”
This is one of the most unifying elements of the apology. By acknowledging that a moral norm was violated, both parties affirm a similar set of values. The apology reestablishes a common moral ground.
The second ingredient to a successful apology is an explanation for why you committed the offense in the first place. An effective explanation makes the point that what you did isn’t representative of who you are. You may offer that you were tired, sick, drunk, distracted, or in love–and that it will not happen again. Such an explanation protects your self-concept.
Ultimately, the success of an apology rests on the dynamics between the two parties, not on a pat recipe. The apology is an interactive negotiation process in which a deal has to be struck that is emotionally satisfactory to both involved parties.
But apologies are useful only if done right. There are in the public arena ample examples of what not to do–stunning portraits of failed apologies. They typically take the form of what I call “the pseudo apology”–the offender fails to admit or take responsibility for what he has done.
The most common cause of failure in an apology–or an apology altogether avoided–is the offender’s pride. It’s a fear of shame. To apologize, you have to acknowledge that you made a mistake. You have to admit that you failed to live up to values like sensitivity, thoughtfulness, faithfulness, fairness, and honesty. This is an admission that our own self-concept, our story about our self, is flawed. To honestly admit what you did and show regret may stir a profound experience of shame, a public exposure of weakness. Such an admission is especially difficult to bear when there was some degree of intention behind the wrongdoing.
Egocentricity also factors into failed or avoided apologies. The egocentric is unable to appreciate the suffering of another person; his regret is that he is no longer liked by the person he offended, not that he inflicted harm. That sort of apology takes the form of “I am sorry that you are upset with me” rather than “I am sorry I hurt you.” This offender simply says he is bereft–not guilty, ashamed, or empathic.
Timing can also doom an apology. For a minor offense such as interrupting someone during a presentation or accidentally spilling a drink all over a friend’s suit, if you don’t apologize right away, the offense becomes personal and grows in magnitude. For a serious offense, such as a betrayal of trust or public humiliation, an immediate apology misses the mark. It demeans the event. Hours, days, weeks, or even months may go by before both parties can integrate the meaning of the event and its impact on the relationship. The care and thought that goes into such apologies dignifies the exchange
Far and away the biggest stumbling block to apologizing is our belief that apologizing is a sign of weakness and an admission of guilt. We have the misguided notion we are better off ignoring or denying our offenses and hope that no one notices.
All dimensions of the apology require strength of character, including the conviction that, while we expose vulnerable parts of ourselves, we are still good people.
Is too glib
an apology worse than no apology?
I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry and accept an apology I never received. Unknown
Sorry, I’m not perfect, but definitely not fake. Unknown
Apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego. Unknown
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To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable’ to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength. Criss Jami
What do we associate vulnerability with?
Is it weakness, fear, hurt or betrayal?
Can vulnerability be our greatest strength? In Rising Strong Brene Brown tells us “vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
It is easier to act like something doesn’t matter sometimes than to let others know how much it means to us. What are we trying to hide? What do we think we get out of pretending something important doesn’t matter? Will it hurt less? Of course not. If we let our guard down and let the other person know how important they are to us, how much we want them in our life, how much they add by being in our life, we both win. Hardening our heart we both lose. Daring to love greatly is to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is a double-edged sword. When we protect ourselves from getting hurt we fail to appreciate intimacy and closeness in our relationships.
We are vulnerable no matter how hard we try to hide it. We were vulnerable all through childhood yet abandon it as we merge into adulthood. When we erect a wall around our self we prevent our true nature from being seen by others. To embrace vulnerability we need to be aware of what causes us pain. Retaliation leads to suffering as we defend ourselves like a wounded animal.
Neuropsychologist Mario Martinez author of The Mind-Body Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success states: The wound you choose in order to interpret your pain becomes a shield of protection against forgiving because releasing your grudge means being vulnerable again.
If we embrace our flaws, imperfections, and weaknesses we embrace the whole of ourselves, not just the parts we are proud of. We become less feeling when we don’t embrace our complete self when we don’t embrace our vulnerabilities.
Brene Brown says, “Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
We need to examine our reaction when our pain buttons are triggered. We suffer when we focus on sorrow instead of appreciating the beauty and richness of our true self.
When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L’Engle
We triumph when we learn to accept our vulnerabilities with compassion. There is nothing to defend or protect even though our ego tells us differently. It is how we deal with things, not the things we deal with that determine our life. By embracing our imperfections and realizing we are okay, it is what it is, we go forward in life.
Innocent comments when we are being open can cause us to close down. We need to be aware when this happens and make a conscious effort to remain open.
The more we embrace ourselves, our talents, aspirations, weaknesses, and challenges, the more we become an example to others. Living a life embracing what is, is the way forward.
It isn’t people with perfect lives, perfect homes, perfect children we feel close to. It is people who accept themselves, their imperfections they’re striving to be better, their willingness to fail and share their lives and story with us that make an impact on our lives.
Brene Brown writes in Rising Strong. “I was reminded that shame is a liar and a story-stealer. I have to trust myself and the people I care about more than the gremlins, even if that means risking being hurt.”
This is challenging, we may think we are open and vulnerable and others may think we are closed and secretive. By embracing the fear we can go forward and build the life we want. When we become okay with failure, we dare to take chances. Anytime we take a chance on anything we take a chance on failure. Fail often, fail better. We risk failure to risk success.
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path. Brene Brown
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Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and LeadAudio CD– Audiobook, Unabridged
Audiobook