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Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without it. Confucius
Yesterday was day two for me on the Soul Coaching journey. It took me two days to get through day one. Day two level two was select your core values and realize as you go through Soul Coaching you can change those values if you don’t think they reflect the true you.
The two I chose are courage and faith. I believe you can’t do much in life without courage, how do you stand up to your convictions without courage? How do you be honest without courage? How do you do the things you know you want to do, must do, to fulfill yourself as a person but feel afraid because what if I fail, what will people think, what if I look stupid?
I chose faith because unless you have faith in other people how can you love them; trust they will do what they need to do? Sometimes faith is all we have, in God, in ourselves, in our choices, in our family, in the world. It takes faith to trust the process of life. It takes faith to go into business, move away from home, drive on a highway. It takes faith to try not to control other people, letting them make their own decisions and build their own life.
There are long lists of values but here are a few:
Love, peace, loyalty, happiness, security, knowledge, joy, passion, enthusiasm, adventure, intelligence, connection to family, integrity, graciousness, creativity, commitment to career, courage, wisdom, abundance, determination
Denise Linn gives an example of someone who chose their top values like peace and relaxation, but they love day trading. She suggests changing their value to correspond with the real them, suggesting adventure as a more fitting value. There are no wrong values, only the values that are right for us. The more we embrace our core values in each moment of our life we become more of who we want to be. Choosing a value that is not congruent with whom we really are may be a way of trying to be what someone else wants us to be. We need to be who we really are, it is better to disappoint someone else than to disappoint our self.
There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in even if you stand alone. Roy T. Bennett
Level one of day two is choosing one empowering action to take on a daily basis. I thought about this, should I choose something to make me more fit, should I choose something to make me eat better? I chose Laura Doyle’s recommendation of doing three things each day to make myself happy.
Her idea is we can’t expect other people to make ourselves happy. She says husbands want to make their wives happy. A wife’s attitude has a huge impact on her husband and the family. A happy wife makes a happy life. My big sacrifice for my husband and family is to make myself happy.
Level three of day two is to write down all the things we’ve been putting off, and do today some small thing we’ve been putting off. What have we been avoiding, procrastinating, and delaying? We were supposed to make a feasible plan for tackling each item on the list.
Making the list was hard enough. If I knew I had to tackle each thing on the list I wouldn’t have been so honest. The thing is if we tackle things like the Side Tracked Sisters from yesterdays post, we don’t have to do everything at once. We can schedule over a year some of those things we’ve been avoiding. After all, some of them are over a year old now.
Maybe we say to ourselves or write it down. I’ll clean the cupboards in March for spring cleaning. I’ll make phone calls to old friends and relatives before Christmas. Meal planning might not get done till next November when it comes back on the Fly Lady’s schedule, or I put it on mine.
One of the problems that make us put off things is we think we have to do everything and it is so overwhelming we do nothing. If we take our list and try to cross off one thing a month, guess what in 12 months that’s 12 things.
If we looked at every month and said, what is the one thing we can concentrate on that will make our life, relationship, home, work, finances, happiness, family, retirement, fitness, health, or self-image better. Pick just one, we can do one, we can’t do everything.
The Fly Lady has 11 commandments.
Keep your sink clean and shiny is her first commandment. One I break all the time. I go to the gym because I know the dishes will get done at some point. A missed gym visit can never be gotten back, and I find reasons to miss them on a regular basis. I do understand why she feels we should keep our sink clean and shiny because then you don’t start filling it with dirty dishes. I might have to rethink this. The kitchen is shared with the newlyweds, and meal prep is more pleasant when the kitchen is clean and neat with everything in its place. This is definitely a possibility for the January improvement project.
When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier. Roy E. Disney
The Book of Values: An Inspirational Guide to Our Moral Dilemmas Paperback – Jun 7 2014