A mother who radiates self love and self acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self-esteem. Naomi Wolf

I bought the book The 5 Love Languages The Secret To Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. It was on sale at 30% off a one day sale. How could I resist. A friend recommended the book.

As I sat down to write this morning I was thinking about the Love Tank theory I read about first in one of John Gray’s books How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have.

The Ten Love Tanks                                                                                        

Spirituality – Love and support from God.                                               

Love and support from parents.                                                              

Love and support from family, friends and having fun.                             

Peer support from others like us with similar goals.

Self-love, love and support from ourselves. Be true to yourself, say no to things that don’t make you happy. Know who you are.       

Relationships, partnerships, and romance. Love and support from intimate relationships.                                                                               

Loving and supporting someone, or something depending on us. Raising children or pets fill this love tank.                                                     

Giving to the community, volunteer work, we need to make sure we don’t neglect our family while we do this.                                               

Giving back to the world, broaden our horizons, volunteer to help a political candidate, run for office.                                                                 

Serving God. Finding the ultimate purpose for our life.

Love according to John Gray is the key to appreciating what we have be it our job, money, relationships. Each type of love is a tank that is between full and empty but can only be filled by the corresponding type of love.

I think of women with too many cats and I wonder what “love tank” are all those cats trying to fill?

Our needs for love vary according to our unique deficiencies. John Gray

Are we putting too much emphasis on the romantic love aspect of our life? Do we expect our relationship to fill more tanks than it is possible for it to fill?

Laura Doyle in The Surrendered Wife tells us to do three things daily to make ourselves happy. I’m trying; it’s harder than you’d think. It’s so easy to get to the end of the day and not have three things to reflect on that did that made me happy. Am I alone in this?

If I can’t think of three things I did to make myself happy, are there things I did to make anyone else happy? It is so easy to walk through our life on autopilot. Being mindful of the steps we are taking is part of the journey.

I need to do some soul searching to see what levels my love tanks are at. If spirituality plays a bigger part in our life than we want to believe, we may be trying to fill a love tank we won’t acknowledge with other things. As I look online it seems even atheists grapple with spirituality. The Little Book of Atheist Spirituality by Andre Compte-Sponville is one of many. Many books have been written on the subject. One of the classics is Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking.

This is our life, whatever we want to do with we best get doing. A life of no regrets has been my motto for a long time. If it’s just a motto, it isn’t worth much.

By wanting more but appreciating everything they had, many have unlimited success in life. John Gray

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