Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Never let hard lessons harden your heart, the hard lessons of life are meant to make you better, not bitter. Roy T. Bennett

How and why do we become bitter, and do we notice it, or is it only others who notice? Is it optimism, gratitude, or some other attitude that helps us get through life without becoming bitter? Do we lose faith in ourselves, society, or did unmet expectations turn life sour?

Did we want something out of life that we didn’t get? Instead of kissing the frog and getting a prince or princess, did we turn our prince or princess into a frog by expecting them to be someone they could never be? Did we think love was enough? Love is a verb, and a hard-working verb at that. I’ve seen a few marriages that seemed to enjoy a love that never got old, and I’ve heard the secret is to keep falling in love with the same person time after time.

How much of our lives do we live for ourselves, and how much do we live for other people? Are we putting on a façade for others and feeling like a fake to ourselves? Have we learned to love ourselves, warts and all? Do we dare to disagree? Do we dare stand up for what we think is right? Can we admit we are wrong if we find out we’ve been on the wrong side of something we’ve championed?

Last evening, my husband and I were discussing the destruction of bathrooms in schools by students. My take on it is a lack of discipline has come home to roost. It’s not Johnny’s fault because… has not built a good society. Unruly children growing up into unruly adults is a theme as old as time.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Saint Augustine

We need to learn to manage three things to live a good life: money, health, and relationships. How we do with those three determines much of our lives. We might think if only someone else would do better, act better, or be better at any number of things, then we’d be better off, and it might even be true, but we have no power over other people.

Do we build a good society when we decide to be a good member? When my Grandmother and Grandfather homesteaded in Northern Saskatchewan in the 1930’s, there were no schools for the children. Mom tells me her mother walked miles to neighboring homesteads, trying to convince other homesteaders to join her in getting a school in the area, but not everyone cared about a school. If they didn’t have children, they didn’t want the expense of supporting a school. Eventually, schools got built, but many children in their formative years didn’t have access to schools, and they had to build lives without that advantage, and they did.

Circumstances work for us and against us, but often it is our choices working for or against us. How are we managing the life we have? Are there better choices we could be making?

Life can change; spouses die, businesses close, jobs end, but if life is still going on, we have to adapt. We might think life can never be good again. Who are we without… We are who we’ve always been; we aren’t our marriage, our business, or our job. As long as we are breathing, there are choices to make. What can we do to make our health, relationships, and attitude better? How do we know a choice we don’t want to make because we are afraid of change, won’t open up a new way of life we will enjoy more? It takes courage to go forward, but what other choice do we have? If we regret the things we don’t do, then when faced with a choice, even if brought on by circumstances beyond our control, shouldn’t we make the best choice open to us and move on?

Bitterness and resentment only hurt one person, and it’s not the person we’re resenting – it’s us. Alana Stewart

Resentment is nasty. What makes it so ugly is that it has a tendency to turn you an otherwise kind and reasonable person, into someone who is so angry at their own life situation that it is nearly impossible to recover. Bitterness and resentment make it hard even for the people who love you to be around you. Martha Bodyfelt

Resentment is often a woman’s inner signal that she has been ignoring an important God-given responsibility – that of making choices. Brenda Waggoner

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