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Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you. Mother Theresa

Love is a verb I tell myself this morning as I stretch in bed, it is a delicious Saturday. I don’t have to get up so early. I spend a few more minutes in my comfy cozy bed.

When I come downstairs my husband has already made coffee. “Our kettle has a problem”, he says. I noticed it yesterday; I think it just boiled its last pot of coffee. It worked until it doesn’t work any longer. When things like this happen, would we rather have a warning or have it good till its gone?

Is this a metaphor for life? Coffee pots, cars, furniture, plants, pets, friends, children, husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. Everything in our life is here for a time; we are here for a time.

Were we good and faithful like my coffee pot? Were we like a TV we had where when we called in a repair man he took a hammer and said as he knocked against the TV, “trust me this is diagnostic.” We could have used the hammer ourselves, although he knew where to place the blows and we didn’t. That makes all the difference. In the end he couldn’t fix it, but we could still watch TV, although we couldn’t watch good TV.

I found a quote by Jessamyn West. It is the loving women not the loved who feels loving. I believe love is a choice, a verb, an action. If we can feel loved by loving instead of by being loved then we are in control. We can engineer our life to fill the holes our self. This is a great epiphany for me. We are more in control of our lives than we think we are. Many women are looking for someone to love them; instead we should be looking for places to put our love.

We can make the choice to love. This can be challenging with children, parents, husbands, wives, and friends at times. I’ve often looked at people who are caretakers of people who don’t appear to be able to give anything back. Perhaps the people who look after them understands the gift of being loving gives you back the gift of feeling loving.

We like ourselves more when we are loving. So many people feel they don’t have enough love in their life. Are we searching for the right thing? Instead of searching for someone to love us, do we need to search for ways to be loving? Romantic love may be the trap here. We expect too much from romantic love and not enough from the rest of our life. People love belonging to big, messy, loud, rambunctious families. There is all this love being shared. Instead of feeling there isn’t enough to give to everyone there is love multiplied and a feeling of belonging.

We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love.  Mother Theresa

If love is a verb and it makes sense to me it is. It isn’t something we get, find, fall into, it’s something we do. We don’t need to be waiting for love. We need to be spreading love everywhere like thick butter on our toast. Slathering love all over the place. When we find the happy people they are often the most giving, generous, open, loving. There is always room at their table for one more. They have time to sit and talk. They have a kind word, a ready smile, encouragement. We like to be around them. They seem comfortable in their own skin.

Sometimes when my husband and I are having people over the guest list keeps expanding as he keeps thinking of more people to invite. I sometimes get upset, why the last minute invites, worrying there won’t be enough food. I need to relax and let him spread the love by including more people. There is always enough food, there is usually too much. I need to relax and enjoy sharing the warmth of hearth and home.

Life is a little messier if you are adding a plate to your nicely laid table. The optics might not be as good, but the fun, joy and togetherness makes up for it. Worrying about the little things can make us miss out on some of the things we wish we’d relaxed and enjoyed more.

I’m going to work on this. I’ll find a way to be more loving, open, accepting, relaxed, and be more willing to set another place at the table.

It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving. Mother Theresa

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Where There Is Love, There Is God: Her Path to Closer Union with God and Greater Love for Others

Mar 6, 2012

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