Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Writers are nothing but beggars with a good line. Charles Bukowski

Are we choosing beggars or do we meet them regularly? One of the ways to be unhappy in life is to expect other people to react in certain ways, be grateful, understanding, thoughtful, kind, respectful, and reasonable. The less we expect of others the less they will disappoint us. When we expect more of ourselves and less from others it works but when we expect more from others and less from ourselves, it does not.

I came across “Top Ten Reasons It Costs More To Get Your Pet Groomed Than Your Own Haircut.” I won’t put them all down, but  – your hairdresser doesn’t wash, clean, and groom your rear end, says it all. We expect a lot from pet groomers. When we had our Scottie he hated being groomed and the groomer earned every penny of that fee. Cutting his nails – that was a test of determination and persistence.

Sometimes we think we are charged too much for something that didn’t take that much time to do. Knowing what to do is a big part of what we paid for and we sometimes forget that.

Someone on the internet says he tried to give money to a guy begging for money. The guy told him he doesn’t take less than $5.00. That’s choosey, but doesn’t a dollar from five people equal five dollars?

I’ve heard of people offering free stuff and being asked to deliver it.

Beggars can’t be choosey is not new. The term was first recorded in print in 1546 when it appeared in a book of proverbs by John Heywood. Entitled people who are not grateful are not new. This isn’t a sign of our times or something we are doing wrong in the upbringing of our children. We have always had people who are ungrateful and entitled. When we think back to what we think life might have been like in 1546 we think you wouldn’t be a choosey beggar then, but apparently, people were.

Human nature doesn’t change. This is why proverbs from all cultures and religions ring true. We are more alike than we are different regardless of where we grew up, or the circumstances and times of our life.

It is why when we read Tolstoy’s quote, “Happy families are all the same and unhappy ones are unhappy in their own way,” it rings true because we see the commonalities in happy families. People with miserable lives have often created their own kind of misery. It isn’t popular to say that we are responsible for our own lives, but isn’t it true that we can make the best of something or the worst of it regardless of the circumstances?

Don’t be a beggar of love, be a donor of love. Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful. Unknown

Gratitude seems to be the difference. The problem with choosey beggars is they never seem grateful for what they are being offered. Their attitude turns people off and instead of getting, they get less and may become resentful of the attitude they create in the people that would help them.

I need to ask myself, when am I a choosey beggar. When am I not grateful enough for the bounty and blessings in my life? It is easy to see the mistakes and missteps of others, but we often make excuses for our own mistakes and missteps.

Yesterday I asked my daughter to read the children’s book I’m preparing for publication. She was reading what I’ve uploaded to Amazon. I was hoping she would say, “It’s perfect, I love it,” but she didn’t. “You need more pictures. Children love to look at the pictures because they can’t read.” She even told me where she thought I should explain a bit more and what kind of picture I should add.

I took her advice. I added two lines to explain what was happening. Last night I started working on the missing painting and thinking about a second one I can add.  When we ask for people’s input we need to welcome it. She could have told me what I wanted to hear, but that wouldn’t be helpful. I could ignore what she told me but that won’t make my book better. By accepting her advice and acting upon it she will tell me what she thinks in the future. If I ignore what she says, she would probably not bother to try and help me make it better.

It is hard to accept criticism, but it is the only way we can make things better. She also pointed something out to me I should have noticed but didn’t. When we have people in our lives that will give us their honest opinion we should be grateful, and accept their opinion with grace. We may not always think their opinion is correct, but we need to let them know we appreciate their viewpoint and did consider it even if in the end we did not change things.

If we are begging for feedback or other things don’t we need to accept what is offered?

A beggar’s hand is a bottomless basket. Dutch proverb

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. Elizabeth 1

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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