Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are. Roy Bennett

Can we learn to be polite and powerful, and if we do will it make all our relationships better?

One of the areas in our lives we struggle with is our relationships. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all got along, understood each other, communicated directly and honestly? In the book, “The Power of Positive Confrontation” author Barbara Pachter tells us we can be polite and powerfully change our communication pattern. She tells us we must learn to WAC’em. What does WAC’em mean?

W is what is bothering us. We need to be very clear that what we think is bothering us is really what is bothering us.

A is what do we want the other person to do or change?

C is we must check in with the other person by asking something like, okay?

One of the ways we feel bad about ourselves is when we haven’t confronted people we believe we should. We didn’t stand up for ourselves, ask for what we wanted, or communicate directly about something important.

Barbara Pachter tells us that polite confrontation can change our life because when we ask for what we want, we have to know what that is. When we tell someone what is bothering us we have to have figured out exactly what that is. Part of the problem in our lives is we don’t know and haven’t acknowledged what the problem is, and we don’t know what we want the other person to do. We often don’t know what we think we should do.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. Josh Billings

When we get clear about what we want, and clear about what we think should be done by the other person, then asking for what we want politely and powerfully is the next step. Often people would give us what we want if they knew what it was. They would do their best to make us happy if they knew how. If we figure out what we want we can do our best to make our own lives better, and the lives of those around us.

Are there any downsides to being polite? One of the biggest problems we have plaguing relationships is people feel disrespected and this means they feel that people in their lives are not polite enough. I am guilty of this. I don’t always give my husband my undivided attention when he is speaking to me. I have to stop myself from multi-tasking and continuing to work as he talks to me. I need to give him my undivided attention and listen to what he says because when I don’t, he feels he isn’t as important to me as what I am doing. Of course, that isn’t true. He should know I am just trying to be efficient. But, do I really get that much more done? Wouldn’t it be better if I just stop what I am doing and give him my undivided attention?

Radically respectful and politely powerful are behaviors we can cultivate in ourselves to make our relationships better. We are the only people who can change the things we want to be changed. We need to treat others the way we want to be treated and even if it doesn’t work the way we wanted we have taken the high road.

The high road isn’t an easy road, but I believe it leads to easy relationships with others. The art of tact and diplomacy is being polite and courteous. One of the problems we have with our “Political Correctness” is that it is often not polite. We have always had disagreements on how society should be run, and instead of being a polite society, we have become a politically correct and often rude society. I think we should get back to politely talking about our differences and agreeing to disagree. Is there power in politeness and should we be using it more in our lives? Are we powerfully polite and radically respectful?

Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength. Eric Hoffer

A polite enemy is just as difficult to discredit, as a rude friend is to protect. Bryant McGill

Courteousness is consideration for others; politeness is the method used to deliver such considerations. Bryant H. Mcgill

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with graitude, joy, and love.

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