Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Marriage is a risk; I think it’s a great and glorious risk, as long as you embark on the adventure in the same spirit. Cate Blanchett

Yesterday I watched Hillary Rodham Clinton and her daughter Chelsea on the view. They’ve written a book called Gutsy Women and Hillary says the gutsiest thing she has done is stay in her marriage.

I’ve always thought that was very gutsy of her. We all expected her to divorce him. We will never know how hard that was, but the look on her face as she said it made me believe she believes she did the right thing.

Getting married and staying married is a gutsy thing. It is important in this life to love and be loved, that doesn’t mean it is easy to have twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or sixty-year marriages.

Yesterday I also watched Dog, The Bounty Hunter talking to Dr. Oz about his late wife Beth. Nietzsche, the German philosopher (who was a lifelong bachelor) said, “Marriage is a long conversation.”

A long conversation is a good way to put it, someone in our corner, a soft place to fall, someone who has our back, who believes in the best of us. Someone who sees us at our worst and still loves us accepts us and believes in us. We are told that those of us who remain married over the long haul will usually be happier because of it.

A happy marriage is about three things: memories of togetherness, forgiveness of mistakes and a promise to never give up on each other. Surabhi Surendra

I’m not sure what is the year when we start thinking we’re in a long marriage. To me, I think it was around the thirty-year mark. We have reached the stage where we need to think about what we want the rest of our life to be like.

Do we have a bucket list? If we don’t maybe we should make one? We may think things are too expensive to do? But, what is the cost of not doing them and thinking we are missing out? This may be one of the causes of the gray divorce phenomenon. We have a fantasy that if we lose a few pounds life will be better, some people may fantasize about divorce the same way. Wherever we go, there we are. Some people may have a fantasy that life would be better without their partner. It is probably not true.

We are told we are happier and healthier in long marriages. Do we need to make some changes? We may need to have some long, intense conversations while we figure out what we want out of the next twenty, thirty, or more years.

The best way forward is probably together. We would make changes in our life if something cataclysmic happened, we don’t need to initiate a cataclysm to initiate change. Maybe the changes we want in our life will start with a long conversation. Are we ready to initiate the conversation that leads to more fun, excitement, adventure, love, and togetherness?

Love does not mean you will always agree, see eye to eye, or never have an argument. It means despite the bad days you still can’t see yourself without that person. Unknown

A great marriage is not the union of the perfect couple, but an imperfect couple who accepts and embraces each other’s flaws. Unknown

A great marriage doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning but how well you continue building love until the end. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love Hardcover – Apr 8 2008

by Dr. Sue Johnson EdD (Author) 4.4 out of 5 stars 122 ratings#1 Best Seller in Marriage & Family

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