Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook offense. Proverbs 19:11

A day of outrage dawns as we hear of costumes offending someone yet again. The fact it was years ago when sensibilities were not so heightened does not seem to matter. We can all take offense and magnify it but how many of us can become unoffendable? What if we can turn the slings and arrows around so they go back to those who sent them?

The Buddha one day said, “Young sir if you purchased a lovely gift for someone, but that person did not accept the gift, to whom does the gift belong?”

The odd question took the young man by surprise, “I guess the gift would still be mine because I was the one who brought it.”

“Exactly so, ”replied the Buddha. “Now, you have just cursed me and been angry with me. But if I do not accept your curses if I do not get insulted and angry in return, these curses will fall back upon you – the same as the gift returning to its owner.”

The young man clasped his hands together and slowly bowed to the Buddha. It was an acknowledgment that a valuable lesson had been learned. The Buddha concluded for all to hear. “As a mirror reflects an object, as a still lake reflects the sky: take care that what you speak or act is for good. For goodness will always cast back goodness, and harm will always cast back harm.”

It isn’t easy to be unoffendable. I took offense yesterday, a podcast was on about lying women. One of the ways we lie is we wear makeup to make ourselves look younger. I admit to wearing makeup, coloring my hair, using deodorant, perfume, wearing high heels, and foundation undergarments. I am a lying woman. Why was I so offended yesterday by two men on YouTube I wouldn’t cast a look at in the grocery store?

Self-acceptance is not always easy, we want to be something other than what we are. We need to own and embrace our own shortcomings, weaknesses, as well as our gifts and strengths. When we become okay with who we are, and what we’ve done, the choices we’ve made, and the life we’ve carved out and own all of it. We may be on our way to becoming unoffendable.

When we are okay with not being perfect, we can become more of who we are, embrace ourselves warts and all. When we are accused of things we can say yes that may be true, but that doesn’t define me. We are more than what someone criticizes us for, and also what they praise us for.

Taking up grievances robs us of peace. Unknown

What some of these unhappy men say they want or comment on, I doubt they want. What I think a lot of them want is they want to take bombshells and turn them into wives, and they want wives to be bombshells. They overlook good wife material because they aren’t bombshells. If they do get a bombshell they complain about the attention she attracts, and the attention she may want. Lots of pretty ordinary people clean up well. But amidst the reality of life, we don’t look ready for a photoshoot. 

Women have choice now, and we don’t have to marry men who would have had an easier time getting married in the not too distant past. Women with more choice give men less choice. Is it better than it was? For some of us, it is. For some of us it isn’t, but don’t we make out of life what we want? Like Margaret Atwood says in The Handmaids Tale “Change is not always better for everyone.”

I can understand why some of the men don’t like it. I admit many women are not using their choice well. We have to navigate these turbulent times but it is my hope we will come out the other end better than we were.

Complaining you can’t get the kind of woman you want means you need to step up or become more realistic. Fantasy men and women don’t actually exist.

When we choose someone we choose the story that goes with them. We choose their strengths and their weaknesses, and they choose ours. We will disappoint them, and they will disappoint us. Dealing with disappointment is part of life.

We all need to find joy in the small moments of our day. This morning on my walk a swirl of fog was in our path. We walked through it and when I looked back I could no longer see it. Was it a trick of the light? Was I seeing something that wasn’t there? It added something to my walk.

We need to find our peace, joy, and contentment in common hours, and if we are lucky enough to have a partner to share our life with we need to accept them the way they are. We can spend our life upset over little irritating things they do. In the end, we can live with them and love it, live with them and hate it, or leave. No one would still be in a relationship if they didn’t accept some things about their partner they don’t like. That’s the prices of admission to being a couple.

Maybe wearing an Aladdin costume wasn’t the politically correct choice one could make. At a Halloween party, I dressed as a skunk. Does that say anything about me?

The journey of forgiveness begins on the inside, then moves into responsibility for one’s mistakes, and finally, one becomes almost unoffendable. Hour of Power

Coming on strong with your outrage can have the opposite reaction of what you want. Rebecca Reczek

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better Paperback – Apr 14 2015

by Brant Hansen (Author) 5.0 out of 5 stars 12 customer reviews


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