Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The comparison of others leads to disappointment. The comparison of self leads to improvement. Avina Celeste

We are told everywhere we turn we must aspire to be above average. That average doesn’t cut it. Even if we are exceptional in one area we are likely to be average or below average in another area. This may be what we need to accept and it may be the paradox of success that when we accept and embrace being average it is the first step to becoming above average.

Years ago I picked up a book called It Takes So Little to Be Above Average by Florence Littauer. I was reminded of it today when I thought about the training yesterday for Toastmaster Area Directors.

One of our goals is to bring the Clubs within our area to above average. Membership is the first thing we focus on– twenty paid up members or five new members from July 1^st, to June 31^st of the following year. This may be an easy goal in some areas and hard in other areas. There is also an encouragement to start new clubs, this may also be easy in high population areas and hard in low population areas. We may have to choose between having less high-quality clubs, and more low-quality clubs.

We may have to make these choices in our own life. Do we develop our self in one or two areas, or do we spread ourselves so thin trying to do everything that everything suffers and isn’t as good as it could be?

We may want to, but we can’t do everything. When I first joined Toastmasters I was about to get married. I left Toastmasters when I was about to become a mother. Something had to go. We need to make choices in our life about where we put our energy. We can focus on different things in our life at different times. During the heavy lifting of parenthood, there isn’t a lot of time for other things. Often work, home and our relationships are almost more than we can handle.

Now that child rearing is out of the way time for hobbies, interests, side hustles, etc open up. We still need to make sure there is time for our relationships. It seems like a good time for self-development when we still have the energy to pursue the things we put aside for responsibilities.

Sometimes becoming average is a huge leap from where we are. Becoming an average basketball player in the MBA is a huge goal. Becoming a midlist author is a huge goal. Becoming a mid-range artist is a huge goal. Creating an average successful business is a huge goal.

We sometimes look at average like it isn’t a worthwhile goal. This is where we sell ourselves short. Maybe even how we talk ourselves out of pursuing something we can accomplish.

I’ve heard music aficionados sneer at the “one hit wonders.” I’ve always wondered, where’s your big hit? Comparisons are odious, we need to do, and be what we can, to be the best we can be. We need to quit comparing the worst of ourselves to the best of someone else. We need to be willing to take the chance to fail, so we can take the chance to succeed at the things that are important to us. We can never get good at what we do not do.

We miss one hundred percent of the shots we do not take. Wayne Gretzky

We often look for the perfect opportunity, moment, solution, or decision that only paralyzes us. At some point, we need to start, and starting is half done.

A fellow Toastmaster said to me upon learning I was Area Director Elect, “You took on something you don’t know anything about?” Yeah, I will only learn about it by doing, this time next year I will know all about it.

What haven’t we done in our lives because we are waiting? Waiting for the right time, the right person, the right circumstances. We can waste our lives waiting, or we can jump in, we will sink or swim. We will succeed at some things and fail at others. Sometimes we will be average, above average, and below average. Or we can stand on the sidelines and watch other people take chances, risk success, and failure but at least they are living their life with gusto and sometimes their failures look better to us than our successes.

Achieving success is a destination, but being successful is a state of mind. Being successful is enjoying your journey. We have one life, how do we want to live it? When we can live our lives without regrets for what we have or have not done, that sounds to me like a well-lived life.

We might not be the ones to change the world. We might not belong to the few that “put a ding in the universe.” We might not be something the whole world would celebrate. But…In the little corners that we live; in the lives that we’ve played a part in, we should be nothing but unforgettable.
― Nesta Jojoe Erskine

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude and love.

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