Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don’t have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don’t have to know Einstein’s Theory of Relativity to serve. You don’t have to know the Second Theory of Thermodynamics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. Martin Luther King

Where would we be as a society without those who serve? The people who make things happen. The ones who make dinner appear on the table. The ones who worked for the money to buy the groceries that made the meal. The ones who make events happen we can attend.

Mothers, fathers, teachers, and volunteers make a lot of good things happen in life. We enjoy being members of clubs because of volunteers. Tonight is the election for our Executive team at Toastmasters. Everyone who serves on the Executive is a volunteer.

As I write this I’m looking at Hope + Me – Mood Disorders Association of Ontario volunteer speakers Program – “Peer Talk”. Successful applicants will gain 6 months of Toastmasters sponsorship. Until today I didn’t know this program existed. One of the things I’ve learned from Toastmasters and also from attending Al-anon with a friend is talking is the best therapy. When we tell our story, our truth it helps us put our lives in perspective, and when we help others, we help our self.

This is the secret that we often don’t realize, we don’t only help others when we volunteer, when we serve, we help ourselves build meaning and purpose into our lives. Is there a more serving pursuit than being a parent? Is there anything more meaningful than being a parent.

We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill

We have heard all our lives, it is better to give than to receive. This has been drummed into our head but have we thought of a deeper meaning than making sure we share our toys, dessert, money and time. Sometimes manipulators use our altruism to their advantage to get money from us, time from us, or support from us we didn’t want to give but felt guilted into. Do we need to be more discerning about where we give our time, money, and attention?

Through MRI technology, we know that giving activates the same parts of our brain as food and sex. Helping others may be the secret to living a life that is not only happier but also wealthier, more productive, and meaningful. It seems we can’t give without receiving more ourselves.

Psychologists distinguish between “hedonic” well-being (a sense of happiness), and “eudaimonic” well-being (a sense of meaning and purpose). Researchers found that having strong social connections was important for happiness and meaningfulness. However, helping others in need, and identifying oneself as a “giver” in relationships, was related to meaning alone.

It turns out that not all types of giving have the same effects on us. Helping others is especially effective when we see the specific impact our actions have. This may be a way to not feel guilted into giving to causes we do not embrace.

In relationships, men are seen as the givers, women as the receivers. Women aren’t only receivers, we are multipliers. We take sperm and make a baby. We take a house and make a home. We take groceries and make a meal. We take moments and build a life.

We all need to give and receive in life. There can be no givers if there are no receivers. We need to find balance in our relationships, personal life, and outer life. At times in our life just keeping our family going may be all we can manage. At other times we have the energy to give to the larger world. We need to live our life in ebb and flow, we give, we receive, and we multiply. We find meaning, passion, and purpose when we give to others, they find meaning, passion, and purpose when they give to us.

If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody. Chinese proverb

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, meaning, and love.

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