“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”
— Joseph F. Newton Me
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one” — C.S. Lewis
Building relationships is an ongoing challenge in life. We quit at our peril. Bonding over books is a great place to start.
Yesterday I got a face book post telling me their favorite author is Beverly Lewis. I’ve put a link to Amazon for her movie and book The Confession. You can find everything she’s written and the movies there.
I’ve never heard of her. This is what book clubs are good for. It’s hard to know when I walk into a book store, one of my favorite places to go, what book in that array would be the one that will resonate with me? Looking for books we know were loved by someone else helps. We want different books at different times. Sometimes we want encouragement, sometimes we want to know we aren’t alone in our situation, sometimes we want a quick good read, sometimes we want a kick in the pants. It’s all there we just have to find the one that speaks to us at that moment in time.
I am loving being on face book. Why did I resist for so long? People are posting such lovely pictures, sayings, truisms, inspiration, provoking thoughts. All the things I love. I thought I didn’t have time for face book. It’s such a good way to stay in touch with family and old friends. Everyone knew that but me it seems.
I have to admit part of this is selfish, I’m looking for an audience. I’m beginning to believe that getting an audience (if I get one,) won’t be the biggest gift. The gift is getting to know people again through their posts and pictures. One of the problems many of us have as we age is letting our circle get smaller instead of working to make it bigger. We lose relationships over time, we have to make the effort to replace them.
As a home business, my husband and I haven’t had the contact with coworkers we had early in our lives. We have clients, but that’s not the same as day to day contact. I went to dinner not long ago with someone I worked with before I got married. We’ve stayed in touch.
My mother has been very good about staying in touch with people; I hope to follow in her footsteps. I don’t think face book friends should take the place of friends you have over for dinner. President Carter said, “when you move your cook stove, you should change your church.” I think he’s right, it’s good to stay in touch with old friends, it’s also good to find new friends where you are.
I was so happy to see Mom make new friends when she moved after Dad died. A new chapter gets started whether you wanted one or not. Mom always took lemons and made lemonade. She is such an inspiration to me because life hasn’t always been easy for her, especially the early years before I was born.
When you hit the rough times in life she tells me, “you get through them by doing what needs to be done. Once you are on the other side, you don’t know how you got through it, but you did.”
One of the things I am grateful for is long talks with Mom. We’ve talked about everything. She is very wise and I’ve learnt a lot from her by listening. Every parent child relationship is different. I see that with my own children. In truth every relationship is different. That is why all our relationships are so important because you can’t interchange one relationship for another. Relationships end sometimes because of choice, circumstance, or death. I’ve tried to live a life with few regrets and tried to never leave important things unsaid.
When Dad died, Mom called me, I was home alone. When my husband came home, he said “what’s wrong.” I couldn’t say the words. Finally I choked out, “Dad died.” I was waiting to call him to wish him Happy Father’s Day. My only regret is I wish I hadn’t waited. There was nothing I had to say to Dad that wasn’t already said. I could have said it one more time. I’m pretty happy with that. He had a good death and a good life. You can’t ask for much more. I miss you Dad!
Beverly Lewis’ The Confession