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Marriage is not a noun, it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day. Barbara De Angelis

Wives happiness is more important to their husband’s state of mind than the reverse. It seems a happy wife makes a husband feel he is doing a good job of being a good husband.

The Happy Wives Club has 8 essential keys to being a happy wife.

Here are 8 Essential Keys to Being a Happy Wife

  1. A happy wife knows how to FLY (First Love Yourself). I know this is not the first time you’re hearing it, but it’s really important: you cannot be happy or love someone else in any relationship if you are unhappy and unloving to yourself. It all starts from within.
  2. A happy wife expresses love to her spouse. She shows her spouse love by having an attitude of gratitude. She tells him how much she appreciates even the smallest of contributions and support.
  3. A happy wife respects her spouse. Regardless of differences of opinions, she never engages in name calling or disrespectful behavior towards her spouse.
  4. A happy wife surrounds herself with other happy wives. And she’s not ashamed of distancing herself from unhappy or bitter wives. She knows she can lean on other happy wives for prayer and support.
  5. A happy wife treats her marriage as a ministry. Regardless of your religious affiliation, marriage is a ministry. It’s designed for you to serve your spouse. When you focus on making your husband happy, he will naturally do the same for you.
  6. A happy wife knows which battles are worth picking. Is it really worth the nagging that turns into fussing if you know he’s never going to remember to put the toilet seat down? Hanging on to the smaller idiosyncrasies can prohibit you from seeing that he did the dishes without asking, or took out the trash without the daily reminder.
  7. A happy wife is okay admitting when she’s wrong. This was a tough one for me early on because I was one who really hated to be wrong and still do at times. But the difference now is that I can own up to my faults and I can admit when I’m wrong. Humility goes a long way. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes.
  8. A happy wife knows when it’s time to let go. I interviewed my parents recently as they celebrated 47 years of marriage and this was one of their tips for reaching this milestone: They have the understanding that nobody is perfect, and they don’t expect each other to be. But nothing is more important than the sustainability of their union.

Are you a happy wife? What key would you add to this list?

Marriages are always in flux. There are ways we can act and conduct our self that is more conducive to a happy union.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather recognizing and appreciating what we do have. Frederick Keonig

Placing blame in a marriage is like saying, “your side of the boat is sinking.” Hank Smith

The Huffington Post gives us 11 ways to make our long-term marriage happier, starting today.

Remind our partner and our self we appreciate them.

Say thank you for the little things.

Practice honesty, even when we are ashamed. This means honesty about everything, money, our relationship, what we expect from each other, and what we want in life.

Take care of our appearance.

Foster relationships outside of our marriage. Our spouse can’t meet all our needs and interacting with other people makes us more interesting. Being part of groups or clubs brings joy to our life.

Watch our words. You always… or you never… Would you instead of could you… Thank you instead of nothing or a dismissive… No eye rolls!

Look after the little things. Put away the jumper cables our self. It’s a small thing, but it is the small annoyances that left unaddressed do us in.

Relish the silence. Sometimes we need to let some things slide; when we get pulled into an argument by getting defensive we make things worse. Let go, forgive, and focus on the positive. Don’t stay silent and harbor bad thoughts, you really have to let it go.

Recognize the ebb and flow. We go through periods in our marriage we are in an up or a down or on our way to an up or a down. Learn to go with the flow. We can go from thinking about them with tears in our eyes, to hardly being able to stand to listen to them breathe. Know this is normal and there is always a new up and a new down coming. Enjoy the ride.

Be kind. It is easy to take each other for granted. We can start the day off by asking our self “what can we do today to make our partner happy?” Would they love it if we sat through a soccer, baseball, or hockey game? When traveling is there something we know they’d love to see we could suggest? We all love to know someone is thinking about us.

Maintain intimacy and passion, both inside and outside the bedroom. Intimacy isn’t just sex, and passion isn’t just when we can’t keep our hands off each other. Romance may happen in the ordinary moments of our day with a moonlit walk that ends in a kiss, being there for our spouse in their most difficult time or standing up and being there for our partner. Don’t let other people define what is a normal or healthy amount of sex for our marriage. Know things change, but that doesn’t mean they are less exciting or fun. Intimacy comes in many shapes, including conversation and cuddling.

Relationship coach Laura Doyle recommends the number one thing we can do to improve our marriage is to make our self happy. If we talked on the phone and laughed with a sister, brother, mother, or friend, took a walk in the sunshine, or did something else that filled us up we are less likely to be irritated by something.

When we’ve made our self happy by investing the time and energy to delight our self we are more likely to laugh at a situation than scream. We set the tone in our marriages. Actively replenishing our spirit by doing at least three things for our own happiness is like insurance. It protects us from feeling so frayed that something snippy or sarcastic comes out of our mouth, or we roll our eyes.

When we are happy we get a better response. Everyone in the house feeds off our energy. It’s a big responsibility to be happy for the whole family. What three things can we do today to feed our spirit? Can these small doable things change our life and our marriage? Can we be the change we want to see in our marriage?

New love is the brightest and long love is the greatest, but revived love is the tenderest thing known on earth. Thomas Hardy

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Be Happy Paperback – Mar 1 2019