Posted on by BWThomas

Choosing happiness or wallowing in misery, is it our choice?

Let anyone who comes to you go away feeling better and happier. Mother Teresa

Is it our duty to be of good cheer? Do we owe it to our families to be happy, cheerful, and positive? Is it a matter of choice, or do circumstances dictate our happiness? Does a merry heart do good like a medicine?

It seems there is always something in life to deal with, and I catch myself in moments of being miserable. Sometimes I want to wallow in misery, but wallowing in misery doesn’t do anything to elevate my life. I might not want to count my blessings, but is it the antidote to misery?

Yesterday, my husband and I finished installing flooring in our son’s and daughter-in-law’s house. We installed flooring in our house over twenty years ago, and I thought we would find it harder than we have. One of the things we want to do in life is to be able to do the things we used to do. The gym and walking have helped.

The other day at the gym, I overheard an older guy talking to a younger one. “I’ve never been jacked,” the older guy said. “But, I’ve kept reasonably fit throughout the years.” In a video, two sisters, both over one hundred years old, were exercising. They said, “Our goal is to be able to do on Tuesday what we could do on Monday.”

How much does our attitude play in living a good life and aging well? How much effort is enough, and how much is too much?

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. Debra Smouse

If life is about choices, can we choose happiness, and can we choose fitness? Where do the choices we make lead us? We can’t go back and make better choices when we realize they haven’t brought us an outcome we like, but can we go forward and make better choices?

Is it too late to start exercising, choosing a better attitude, and elevating our lives? What would our life look like if we made a few tweaks to our daily routine?  Can we spread good cheer when we are out and about? How many of us grew up hearing, “Smile and the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone?”

No matter where we are in life, no matter our circumstances, does our attitude make it better or worse? We can live with whatever is going on in our lives and be happy, or we can be miserable, but we can’t change other people or many of the circumstances beyond our control. Do we expend too much energy on the things we cannot change, and not enough on the things we can?

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy… until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy… unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you. Ralph Marston

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside yourself to make you happy in the future. Earl Nightingale

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Luck, chance, and serendipity play out in our lives.

Luck is believing you’re lucky. Tennessee Williams

Feeling lucky, last night we went out to celebrate the fortieth anniversary of my daughter-in-law’s parents. As my husband and I drove home in the rain, I got a call from my son. “Mom, you dropped your keys.”

We turned back, and I picked up my keys. How lucky am I that the bride from forty years ago saw my keys, in the dark, in the rain? How did they fall out of what I thought was my closed clutch bag? Nothing falls out of my regular bag; finding an elegant bag that will hold the necessities is once again on my list.

Does luck play a role in our lives? What makes someone lucky, and do we not even know how lucky we’ve been in life? Doors opened that could have remained closed, accidents could have been worse, and we meet people who change our lives for the better.

One of the questions often asked at anniversaries is, how did you meet?  Every couple has a story, and I wonder how many people who aren’t married met someone who could have become their mate, but didn’t take action to make it happen? On YouTube, girls are complaining they wouldn’t go out with a guy if he isn’t wearing the right shoes. At fortieth and fiftieth wedding anniversaries, we see couples who’ve gone through the ups and downs of life. They didn’t always meet each other when they looked their best, they weren’t successful yet, they had potential, and that is what marriage is about, for better or worse.

All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck – who keeps right on going – is the man who is there when the good luck comes – and is ready to receive it. Robert Collier

In a long marriage, there will be good times and not so good times, but getting through life together and seeing children start their own families is one of the payoffs of persevering. If we don’t build a family, we have less security, because who is there to rely on in times of need? We alienate our family at our peril. If we are so toxic that no one would offer us a place to stay when something terrible happens, what does that say about the life we’ve built?

Our nephew was lucky he only broke his leg in a vehicle/scooter accident, and he was on the scooter. He flipped over the car and landed on the pavement. He can’t navigate the stairs, so he is on the couch in the living room. One of his co-workers offered to have him stay with him while he recovers because of the stairs. Does it say something about us when people are willing to go out of their way to help us? It certainly says something about them.

Luck, chance, and serendipity play out in our lives. If we look at our lives, do we think we are unlucky or lucky? It could have been worse, or it could have been better; both are true, but does looking at it one way give us a better life?

Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. Dalai Lama

I say luck is when an opportunity comes along and you’re prepared for it. Denzel Washington

The only good luck many great men ever had was being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck. Channing Polluck

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you for leaving a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Is losing hope for the future one of the greatest tragedies of life, and the worst thing happening to our youth?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. William James

Is the phrase, “The devil made me do it,” still used? As a mother and grandmother, I think, what would make a child or grandchild turn away from how they were brought up and do the unthinkable? A father turned his son in for the heinous murder of Charlie Kirk. Short years ago, did he watch his son finish high school and expect him to build a bright future?

We can’t keep our children safe from influences that mean to take advantage of them. Sometimes we start down paths that aren’t good, realize it, and turn our lives around. Not all parents see this manifest in their children’s lives; some see their children’s lives continue in the darkest direction they can go. Other than prayer, what can we do when we see our children going down the wrong path?

Some paths only devastate the life of the one on it, and some want to take others out with them. What is the phenomenon going on in our society? It is easy to blame guns, but what is behind picking up the gun and aiming it at someone, whether it is a school shooting, a political figure, or someone like Charlie Kirk?  

If we believe that out of bad can come good, does that give us a way forward? All things can be used for good, but how do we use them for good in our own lives? Some believe conservatism is bad, that if we want to conserve something, it means we want to take something away. What it means to me is we want to conserve and preserve for coming generations so they too have a bright and shining future. We conserve and preserve the harvest, for wintertime when we can’t pick anything from our garden to eat.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill

We plant trees for a harvest in the future. Everything about our society is not bad, but our youth are feeling their inheritance has been squandered. We lived too large, we overspent, overdeveloped, and wasted what should have been conserved for the future. What impact will AI and robotics have? Is the problem that some of our youth are giving up on life before they even begin?

How do we turn this around? How do we offer a bright future to our children and grandchildren, and if there is a bright future, how do we get them to see it? A lot of life is about perspective; my perspective on some things has changed over the years. The years between high school and building a life as an adult are fraught with pitfalls. Does it only seem worse now? How do we build our youth for the future? Has the optimism of youth become the pessimism of youth?

We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future? Franklin D. Roosevelt

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. Newt Gingrich

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Are we spreading sunshine wherever we go? Do we uplift or drag others down?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The most important things in life are the connections you make with others. Tom Ford

Who can we inspire and encourage to make people feel like a more confident version of themselves? I think it was Maya Angelou who said, “People will forget what we said, what we did, but they will never forget how we made them feel.”

Do people we talk to feel we believe in them, so they can believe in themselves? Do we point out only what can be improved, or do we point out their strengths? After a conversation with us, do they feel defeated, demoralized, and inferior, or empowered, encouraged, and motivated?

Do people feel better after a conversation with us? Are we spreading light or darkness wherever we go? Some people might only have one interaction with someone per day, and if it is with us, did we elevate their day?

Yesterday, my husband and I went out for coffee, and as we sat, a group of older couples came in one couple at a time. They were obviously friends and happy to see each other. It was great to see a group of older adults making the effort to get together. Their energy uplifted us as we sat watching them assemble.

We often see groups of men or groups of women, but seeing a large group of older couples getting together seems rarer. I ask myself as I write this, why don’t we get together as couples more often? The book club meets once a month, but we are all women. Toastmasters meets once a week, but most members come alone.

We can bring positive energy into our daily lives by smiling more, talking to strangers in line, replacing handshakes with hugs, and calling our friends just to tell them we love them. Brandon Jenner

We need to make time for friends, and as we get older and no longer have the social connections we once had, if we don’t stay connected, we might be lonelier than we need to be. A friend called me on Sunday to ask if I wanted to go for a walk and coffee, but I’d already made plans to go out with my daughter. Single people have to make more of an effort to engage with others, but couples have to be careful not to let their relationships slide until it’s been so long since they’ve seen someone that they question their relationship.

It takes effort to get together, it takes a bit of money, whether we go out or invite others in, but what is the cost of not bothering? Sometimes I think, when was the last time I called, or when was the last time we saw each other? Often it is too long, and if we let these connections break, we may have a difficult time rebuilding them.

Do we only want to share our successes, and when life isn’t progressing as we like, do we keep to ourselves? During hard times, we should come together even more, not to complain, but to celebrate the good we still have in our lives. In a book by Amy Tan, her very poor characters get together and share an orange; the last piece is left for the host to eat after everyone leaves. They weren’t getting together to eat because no one had enough to eat, but they could still get together to talk, laugh, and play a game.

I remember reading about someone who said she was never invited to a friend’s place because the friend was embarrassed that her place wasn’t good enough. The friend said, “I didn’t want to see her place, I wanted to see her.” We might think we can’t invite people out to Tim Horton’s, we need to invite them out to a nice restaurant, and that is too expensive, so we don’t bother.

What if we take advantage of the moments in our lives to spend with others? Is coffee better than an expensive dinner, where we wonder what sacrifices we’ll have to make to afford it? Shouldn’t the emphasis be on the relationships, not the ambiance of the restaurant?

Enjoying life’s simple pleasures is an art some people have developed. I remember Mom telling me about neighbors who had gone through a hard winter, living mostly on eggs and potatoes. Things finally turned around, and they went to the local café to treat themselves. They ordered Denver sandwiches, which, to their horror, turned out to be an egg sandwich. Haven’t we all ordered something on the menu with a nice-sounding name that disappointed us?

Elevating our life doesn’t have to be about spending a lot of money; people during hard times have always figured out how to socialize without spending a fortune. It isn’t about the money; it’s about the effort to maintain connections. We can learn a lot from older people who maintained connections when they couldn’t afford long-distance phone calls, plane fare for visits, and people dropped in for coffee.

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. Elie Wiesel

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. Khalil Gibran

Be willing to share your blessings. The only riches that last are the ones that are given away. David Khalil

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Do we look down on being average, but being average in some areas of our lives would be a step up?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune. Carl Jung

This week, an article popped up on my computer comparing average and median wealth per country. Canada is at #10, average wealth per adult is $375,800, and median wealth per adult is $142,587. The U.S. comes in at #4 with average wealth per adult at $564,862, and median wealth per person is $112,157. Switzerland is #1 with wealth per adult at $709,612, and median wealth per person at $171,035.

We all know the mega millionaires and billionaires skew the numbers and make everyone seem like they are doing better than they are. The median number is interesting and the one applying more closely to individuals because if half the people have more wealth than that number and half have less, it is a more meaningful number than the average. The median wealth in Canada for a couple is $285,174.

I read a book years ago, “It’s so easy to be Above Average.” I don’t remember the author’s name, but it seems like a good bar to hold ourselves to. A few couples I know are celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversaries this year – an above-average accomplishment.

What if striving to be average or above average is the mindset that changes everything? What would being above average in physical fitness do for us? Above average in the number of books read, in the steps taken per day, and above average in giving thanks for our blessings? What would an above-average marriage after forty years look like, an above-average relationship with our kids, or our friends look like?  What does an above-average garden look like?

The average, estimate themselves by what they do, the above average by what they are. Friedrich Schiller

Do we set goals that exceed our ability when a lesser goal might be one we could accomplish, and accomplishing the smaller goal leads to bigger goals and accomplishments? Do we think being average isn’t good enough, so we don’t do what would bring us to average or above, because greatness is what we aspire to, but greatness seems out of our grasp? Is the truth that the average in some areas for some people would elevate their lies, and if we could be average or above in all areas, we would have a great life?

Is there an area of our life we would like to elevate? If we elevated three areas of our lives, what would our lives look like? What three would we pick: fitness, health, finances, relationships, gratitude, knowledge, attitude, forgiveness (of ourselves and others), or update how we present ourselves to the world?

We are a work in progress, whether we admit it or not. Are we growing or decaying, and our choices and actions determine which it is? What if the choices we make now determine who we are at sixty, seventy, eighty, or ninety? What if a tweak here or there would make a big difference?

Being above-average in everything might not be possible, but can we always find an area to improve that will elevate our lives? Elevating our life isn’t about comparing ourselves to someone else, but comparing ourselves to who we were yesterday or a year ago.

The healthiest competition occurs when average people win by putting above average effort. Colin Powell

Great minds discuss ideas: average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

Every man is what he is; because of the dominate thoughts which he permits to occupy his mind. Napoleon Hill

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.