Posted on by BWThomas

 Happy New Year! What a year 2025 will be!

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. Joshua J. Marine

Today is the day we take final stock of 2024 and set our goals for 2025 if we haven’t already made them. Some of us have had many dinners and gatherings with friends and family and need a bigger notch on our belts! Normalcy will soon be here and fun, frivolity, and overeating will be over.

We catch up over food and drinks about how life is unfolding. Yesterday we saw two great nephews who have grown into men, each with a girlfriend. How time has flown and the years are kind to some and cruel to others. Keeping a positive attitude and a merry heart in times of adversity is a huge challenge and it seems as we get older, harder. Perhaps that is because we don’t have time to improve things, opportunities lost are truly lost, and we are beset by what could have been if only…

I wonder as I see people I’ve known a long time or known about, how some relationships go through the ups and downs of life and some disintegrate. We can’t spend our lives trying to make someone happy, nor expect them to spend their life making us happy. Happiness is our challenge and we find it amidst the humdrum of daily life, or we don’t find it at all.

Some new mothers find the demands of new motherhood demanding without fulfillment, and some find it the most fulfilling time of their lives. Being grandparents is one of the happiest times for my husband and me, we can’t imagine the void in our lives, but we wouldn’t know what we were missing.

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict. William Ellery Channing

There is sad and happy news all around us. Some families have fallen apart over what seems like small things, and some have stayed together when we don’t see how they could get through it.

Even a big challenge like cancer, some people will talk about, and some people won’t. Does what we are willing to talk about define us? Should we keep everything close, but when we do, are we alone in our struggles? Does sharing our burdens lighten our loads?

Isn’t one of the problems in our society, the embellishment of so many lives on social media, and thinking so many people are better off than us? We are comparing the worst or at least the reality of our lives, to the embellished version they put out into the world. This isn’t new; people have decorated one room in their house to look opulent when they had almost nothing in the rest of the house. They roasted fat to make the neighbors think they were eating better when they all had hardly anything to eat.

Is there a point where putting our best foot forward, is aspirational until it becomes a lie? When we can accept ourselves the way we are, the good, the bad, the richer, the poorer, happy, and the sad, are we better off? Isn’t adopting a positive attitude a bit of a lie, or is it finding the silver lining in adversity, and we get more of what we focus on?

As we go into a New Year are we at peace with who we are, the life we’ve lived, the mistakes we’ve made, and the choices we still have? Pretending we are more than we are, is not the same as becoming more, can we be happy and grateful for where we are, even as we aspire for more? Can we embrace who we are, where we’ve come from, the choices we made that worked out, and ones that didn’t, accepting everything about ourselves while still harboring hopes and dreams for tomorrow, believing we can deal with what comes?

Our attitude, diligence, habits, and decisions shape our lives. Successful lives deal with hard things, and unsuccessful lives deal with hard things, there will always be hard things to deal with, and how we deal with them might be the deciding factor. It might mean success if we can get through the hard things, and keep going when we want to quit.

Whatever this New Year holds, I hope we have the strength to get through it keeping the good things in our lives intact.

Happy New Year!                                                                                             

It is not good for all our wishes to be filled; through sickness we recognize the value of health; through evil, the value of good; through hunger, the value of food; through exertion, the value of rest. Greek Proverb

Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:24

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them. Phyllis Bottome

Thank you for reading this post. Please return and read more and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

We don’t choose every change in our lives, but can we decide to make the best of them?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Nothing endures but change. Heraclitus

What if we speak our lives into being? When we say “It’s a good day,” it is. When we say, “We can’t, or that’s not for people like us,” it becomes our reality. What if what we say yes to and what we say no to in life is how we build everything, and every choice we make, makes us? If we accept this and own it, what choices would lead to a happier, fuller, and more impactful life? How much good do we talk ourselves out of, we don’t put in the resume, so we can’t get the job. We don’t apply so we won’t be accepted. We say, “Forget it,” before we voice what we want.

What do we want? Is that what so many of us don’t know? Are we better at knowing what we don’t want than what we do want? Change is stepping into the great unknown, and that is hard – we know what we have – but what if an adventure awaits? Especially for those who have raised children, are close to the end of their careers, and retirement looms. There is the FIRE movement of young people wanting to retire early.

We might have been looking forward to it, but now it is here or getting close and we are comfortable or at least familiar with where we are, and maybe we start thinking what if we work one more year, or ten more years? Will we be happier and healthier if we work right up to the end? Do we get too much of our identity out of our job? Are we okay with being retired? Is it different if we choose to retire rather than being forced to retire? Do we want partial retirement?

As a New Year approaches we naturally think about what we want to change, have more or less of in the New Year. What if we are a couple and the changes we want to bring into our lives aren’t the same? We don’t even feel comfortable exploring the different directions we might want to take. Do we take turns, we’ll do what you want to do and then do what I want to do. But, the question still is, what do we want, and what changes are we willing to make?

One must never lose time in vainly regretting the past or in complaining against the changes which cause us discomfort, for change is the essence of life. Anatole France

If the GoGo years of retirement are getting to be upon us, we don’t know how long they will last before the things we wanted to do, see, or accomplish are beyond our capabilities, and like Mom used to say, “All I want now is my old rocking chair.”

For some there’s never been enough time, for others, there’s never been enough money, and for many, there has never been enough of both. But, is a lot of that all in our heads? There’s time and money for what we decide there is time and money for. Otherwise, how can some people find the time and money in seemingly the same circumstances? They sell the house, rent, and travel the world. They sell the business, return to where they grew up, and build the home of their dreams.

What would we change if we could go back forty years to prepare for now? We can’t do that, but what if we could do something to make the next twenty, thirty, or forty years better? If we are lucky we have twenty, thirty, and even forty or more good years ahead of us, what do we want to do with them? Do we have a decision, or decisions that need to be made to make the years ahead of us the best they can be?

The time will pass whether we do anything with it or not. What would we like to change, add, or delete from our lives?

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. Rumi

If you’re in a bad situation, don’t worry it’ll change. If you’re in a good situation, don’t worry it’ll change. John A Simone

Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t. Steve Maraboli

Thank you for reading this post. Please return and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Change is coming and we can’t always choose the changes, but what changes can we choose?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

To be able to look back upon ones life in satisfaction, it to live twice. Khalil Gibran

Where do we get our inspiration? We often get inspiration from others, and being part of a group can inspire us more than being on our own. This is my experience with Toastmasters and the Mississauga Writers Group. We can get so involved in the group we don’t accomplish our individual goals, but learning to say no is also a skill we need to develop.

As one woman eloquently said, “I wouldn’t want to deprive someone else of the opportunity.” Learning to manage our time and energy is one of the skills we need to learn in life. Sometimes we are stuck not knowing how to reach the next step until we get more information.

It was gratifying on Saturday when a new member approached me and said he created a KDP account with Amazon and published his book, “Being Lolo.” I’d mentioned to him it was how I published mine. All he needed was information, and maybe meeting someone who had done it, spurred him to do it too.

We don’t know what we can do until we do it, and holding your book in your hand is a wonderful experience. My two-and-a-half-year-old grandson comes into where I’m writing, pulls down my books, turns to the back cover, and says, “That’s you, Grandma,” and I love it every time he says it.

Finding a group of like-minded people is wonderful. If we’ve felt we didn’t fit in, finding groups we fit into can be even more special. At a potluck on Saturday we were a group of unlikely friends, we’ve met through Toastmasters, we are from all over the world, diverse in all ways but Toastmasters brings us together. We love hearing other people’s stories, and their accomplishments spur us to step out of our comfort zone.

The daughter of a Japanese Diplomat said, she has always felt like she didn’t fit in, and maybe we are a group of misfits who have found a group we fit into. Some of us might like being part of a group more than others. As the only spouse attending said, “We try to have separate interests.” I think she is correct we need separateness in our togetherness.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Khalil Gibran

Building our life never stops until it does, and until that time comes we don’t know if we have years or days left, so we should make the most of it. It might seem terrible to die without reaching our goals, but how much worse to live without having goals?

How many people have been surprised by living much longer lives than they thought they would? If we don’t plan and this isn’t a good surprise, wouldn’t that be tragic?

Your life is an island separated from all other islands and continents. Regardless of how many boats you send to other shores or how many ships arrive upon your shores, you yourself are an island separated by its own pains, secluded in its happiness. Khalil Gibran

If there is a group we’ve thought about joining, what is stopping us? Getting so busy we don’t have time for our family is not good, but so is not making the most of the life we have by reaching out, and expanding our horizons. We all have some “What ifs” in our lives. What if we started making choices to move in the direction of our dreams? Small, hesitant choices, test the water, what if a bigger life is out there waiting for us to come looking for it?

What if being too comfortable is part of the problem, we are resilient, and adventurous creatures, what if in the coming year, we choose to enlarge our comfort zone or step out of it? What would that look like, what changes would we have to make, do we know what changes we would like to see in our lives, or is that what we need to discover?

A New Year is coming soon, what changes will happen, what opportunities will we pursue, and what will we create? Small changes can alter the trajectory of our lives, for better or worse. But if we feel like a small boat bobbing in an ocean without direction, wouldn’t we rather steer toward something we want, even if it takes a little work to figure out what that is?

Maybe we need more people in our lives, more fun and adventure, creativity, or something we can’t name yet. When we look back on 2024 what kind of a year has it been? Can we learn to control what we can and deal with what we can’t? Maybe someone important to us passed this year, and we are dealing with the hard truths of life. We are never ready to face loss, it comes and life is forever changed. Had it happened later we would still not be ready for it.

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. Khalil Gibran

The lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest, and then becomes a host, and then a master. Khalil Gibran

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh, and the greatness which does not bow before children. Khalil Gibran

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thanks to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Are we turning our promises and hopes into plans?                  

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans. Peter F. Drucker

On April 16, 2019, I wrote about the fire of Notre Dame Cathedral in my blog. It was and still is on our bucket list to see, and this past weekend it reopened. Because it has been rebuilt we can still see it. But, how many things we put off will be things we never do?

My oldest sister had a chance to visit the Holy Land some years ago but didn’t go because of the unrest there; she and her sister-in-law canceled the trip. Another chance never presented itself and how often in life is it now or never to do the things we want to do?

One of the problems many of us have is balancing time and money, when we have time, we don’t have money, and when we have the money, we don’t have the time. We can go through life this way, and I remember Mom and Dad always saying, “This is next year’s country,” as a kid, I didn’t get it, but I do now.

Maybe next year we’ll go to England and Paris, maybe next year business will be better, maybe next year… We can live our lives waiting for next year. What if we figured out what we want and put a plan in place to make it happen? The best-laid plans may go astray, but does that mean planning is not beneficial?

In preparing for battle, I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable. Dwight D. Eisenhower

If we get too set on our plans we can be disappointed because something will come along to derail our plans. But if we don’t plan we won’t know how to adapt to the circumstances of life. Can we be flexible and adapt to changing circumstances while keeping our goals in mind?

Making the most of life by wringing as much enjoyment from it as we can will make our life no matter how long or short the best it can be. This morning, holding my little granddaughter, life is sweet. Spending time with grandkids can be sweeter than traipsing the globe. If we are lucky our choices are between two goods and we can make the best of what life offers us.

We sometimes have hopes, promises, wishes, and dreams but if we want to turn them into reality we will have to turn them into goals and plans, keeping in mind plans may have to change as circumstances do.  

Long-range planning does not deal with the future decisions, but with the future of present decisions. Peter F. Drucker

A goal is not always meant to be reached; it often serves simply as something to aim at. Bruce Lee

There is a time to plan, a time to act, and a time to rest; it is wise to know which is which. Emily Rodda

Thank you for reading this post. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my posts and a special thank you to everyone who leaves a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Is there room for improvement in our lives?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in. Bill Bradley

Is it time to make resolutions, plans, and promises to ourselves? Do we do this on a daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly schedule? The more often we set goals the more effective we are likely to be. We need big goals, small goals, long-term goals, and short-term goals, aspirational goals, mundane goals, and once-in-a-lifetime goals.

Do we want too much out of life or want too little? Do we expect to accomplish more than is possible or less than is expected? How do we balance our resources, time, and energy, our expectations of ourselves, and the expectations others have of us? If we gave ourselves a report card for how we are doing would we be an A, B, C, D, E, or F student of life? How would we be doing if we let someone else write up our report card?

Are we where we want to be for our stage in life? Is this comparing ourselves to others or what we wanted out of life? If we need to change one thing to make life better what is that one thing? Is it more time for ourselves, managing or making more money, planning the trips we’ve always wanted to take, health and fitness, or making time to be creative?

If we have one thing in our life we focus on that would make our life better it will of course be the hardest thing, isn’t that the way it always is? If health and fitness are what we believe focusing on would pay us the greatest dividends we will find a host of reasons why we can’t fit a walk into our daily schedule, changing our diet is not workable, and eating home-cooked food is too hard. If finances are our biggest challenge we won’t see how to cut our spending or increase our earnings.

Small changes lead to big changes, what is a small change we could make in the area that most needs a makeover? As we get close to the New Year is it time to think of changes we want to make, is it something we want to add, or something we want to take away?

It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently. Tony Robbins

In Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Equation, he tells us unwavering faith and extraordinary effort equal miracles. What do we need to have faith in we can change, and put extraordinary effort into changing? Is there something in our life we’ve never quite mastered that with faith and extraordinary effort, could make changes we’ve always wanted to make?

What if we pick one thing to focus on in the coming year? Every day, every week, and every month our goal is to believe we can change it and put extraordinary effort into making this happen. Where will we be in a year if we do it, in five years, and ten years?

When we get one thing moving in the right direction we can focus our unwavering faith and extraordinary effort on something else. What if changing one thing impacts other areas of our lives positively? What if we could overcome whatever we never quite feel we have control of?

Hal Elrod gives us a formula to make a deal with ourselves. I am committed to maintaining Unwavering Faith that I will _____________________________ insert your mission, and I will continue putting forth Extraordinary Effort until I do. No matter what there is no other option.

He advises us to review our commitment every day, figure out what our extraordinary effort will be, and hold ourselves accountable. It is daily actions over time, that lead to big results. What if, dependability, consistency, and being able to improve, are more important than talent?

Small disciplines repeated with consistency every day lead to great achievements gained slowly over time. John C. Maxwell

The key to success is consistency. And right now, the only way for you to actually take action is to believe in yourself. Zak Frazer

Daily, consistent, focused, faithful expectation raises the miracle power of achieving your dreams. John Di Lemme

Thank you for reading this post. Please return and read more and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon Affiliate program.