Posted on by BWThomas

Is accepting other people’s negative thoughts like letting them walk through our minds with dirty boots?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. Robert h. Schuller

At Toastmasters one of the speeches was, “The Son of a Thought.” The speaker broke down the thought, “We want ice for our drink and we have no ice cubes, and how wonderful it would be to have a refrigerator with an ice maker.” A week later opening the door to our new refrigerator with an ice maker, we wondered how this new purchase ended up in our home when there was nothing wrong with our old refrigerator, and it wasn’t something we were planning to purchase.

Where do some of the thoughts that have changed the world come from? We listen to someone’s adventures and start thinking we want a life filled with adventure, too. We might contemplate joining a gym when one of our friends transforms from couch potato to fit and adventure-seeking.

Someone writes a book and we think I’ve always wanted to do that, and if they can, I can. But what if one of our friends gets a divorce, is that contagious too? If they start believing in conspiracy theories, losing faith in our leaders, and feeling our society is going down the drain, do we start seeing what they’re seeing?

If thoughts and emotions are contagious, how do we know if our thoughts and feelings are our own or someone else’s? How do we combat other people’s thoughts and emotions from taking up space in our heads? Are we feeding our minds with good thoughts to combat the negativity around us?

Do we examine our negative thoughts and ask if they are true? Do we find if we are well-rested, energized, and in control of our emotional state we will be less susceptible to other’s negative emotions?

If we give something positive to others, it will return to us. If we give negative, that negativity will be returned. Allu Arjun

When we want to be there for someone stuck in a negative cycle do we risk becoming caught up in a negative cycle too? How do we support others and protect ourselves? Does negative thinking keep our suffering fresh? If we practice gratitude can we prevent negative thoughts from taking over? Is gratitude the antidote we need to practice to keep negativity from taking over our lives?

There are always negative things happening in the world, but there are also positive things happening, and we need to keep a balanced view because life is neither all good nor all bad. If we think everything is good we might not make the improvements in our lives we could make and if we see everything as all bad we might give up on being able to improve anything and find that is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When we can control nothing else can we control our thoughts, and by controlling our thoughts find we can control things we thought were beyond our control? If we question our thoughts, can we have a more balanced view of life, ourselves, and others? Does dwelling on the negative only contribute to its power?

Negativity is an addiction to the bleak shadow that lingers around every human form, and you can transfigure negativity by turning it toward the light of your soul. John O’Donohue

It is better to dwell on the beautiful things in life than the negative. Lailah Gifty Akita

Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration moving you from negative to positive. Oprah Winfrey

Thank you for reading this post. Please return and read more and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you for leaving a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on an Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Loving what is, be grateful, be happy.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for. Norman Vincent Peale

Don’t worry, be happy. We’ve all heard it but it isn’t easy to calm our mind when something keeps going round and round. I was listening to a speaker (I can’t recall her name) on YouTube the other day. She said, “We need to be careful of what we say because what we say matters. To recognize what we are saying she recommended adding, “And I like it like that, or that’s just the way I like it.”

So when we say we are fat, and add silently, and that’s just the way I like it, maybe we will change what we say to something we do want. “I’m healthy and getting healthier would be a better thing to say. I’m working on my fitness. What if we took our negative self-talk and flipped it to the positive? What if we count our blessings instead of our fears?

Can this make a difference in our lives, relationships, and mental health? How hard is it to shift our inner dialogue from negative to positive and start focusing on the positive?

What if we silently added, “And that’s just the way I like it,” to some of the thoughts going around in our head, would we realize if we are going to be happy with what we are thinking we have to think about it differently?

We might have a problem that is overwhelming us, but focusing on the problem, instead of focusing on a solution, is part of the problem. Perhaps we need to ask how could we improve this situation. Some situations can’t be made better but they must be dealt with and finding a positive way to go forward might be one of the hardest things we will do in our lives but we still have to do it.

I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy. Will Arnett

How do we go forward after losing someone? We need to figure this out because we will all lose people in life. Can we focus on what they brought to our lives and how lucky we were they were a part of our lives, the blessings they brought instead of the empty hole left by their leaving?

Sometimes we ask questions like, what if the worst thing happens, but what if instead, we asked, how can I prepare, how can I improve the situation? It might take some thinking and maybe a piece of paper to work out a positive framework for our feelings. How does our statement change if we exchange should to could, and what to how?

Byron Katie in “Loving What Is” tells us to ask four questions:

Question One: Is it true? What is the reality of it? Whose business is it?

Question Two: Can you absolutely know that it’s true? When do you think that it’s true? And it means that __________. What do you think you would have if reality were (in your opinion) fully cooperating with you? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the should? Where’s your proof?

Question Three: How do you react when you think that thought? Can you think of one stress-free reason to keep the thought?

Question Four: Who would we be without the thought? The turnaround – as long as we feel that the cause of our problems is out there – as long as we think someone else is responsible for our suffering – and the situation is hopeless. It means we are forever the victim.

It might take real effort to turn our thoughts from negative to positive, to count our blessings instead of our fears, and to find a way to love the reality of our lives.

The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want. If we want reality to be different than it is, we might as well try to teach a cat to bark. Byron Katie

Reality is what it is, and we can like it, or hate it, but what we can’t do is change it if it is not in our control, and part of what leads to suffering is when we can’t accept what we can’t control.

But, we can control a lot, and can we start by counting our blessings instead of our fears? If we get more of what we focus on, don’t we want more things to be grateful for?

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

Living in a state of gratitude is the gateway to grace. Arianna Huffington

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance. Eckhart Tolle

Thank you for reading this post. Please return, read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Our choices change us, to make life better we have to make better choices.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Remember, the choices we make today shape the people we become tomorrow. Victoria Osteen

Are we lifelong learners, or did we quit learning anything new long ago? What counts as learning something new? Does doing something we’ve never done before count more than increasing our knowledge in areas in which we are already competent?

Do we not change things we’d like to change because we think it will make others uncomfortable? Do we worry if we change it will affect our relationships negatively?

Have we ever found ourselves doing something we thought would make the other person happy, and they were doing the same, but both would prefer something different?

This happens with my husband and I, we will be watching TV and he’s not watching something he wants to watch because he’s trying to watch something he thinks I will enjoy, but I’m not watching to watch, just being there spending time together.

He has started cycling and I’ve borrowed my sister-in-law’s bike so I can try it without a big commitment. I watched something on YouTube with my husband telling us there is no need to spend more than $6,000.00 for a good bike.

$6000.00 for a reasonable bike, I was thinking of picking one up at Canadian Tire. Am I out of touch, or is the YouTuber speaking to such a specific group that I have no business watching him?

I was reading a book talking about how too much research and wanting to buy only the best of the best can lead to less satisfaction. The author divided people into two groups, the maximizes who want the best of the best and are rarely satisfied, because there is always something better to find, and the satisficers who are content with good enough.

There is a choice you have to make in everything you do. So keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make, makes you. John C. Maxwell

When we are only going to buy once it is easy to think we want the best we can get. I’m reminded of a speaker I heard who said she had a choice of two houses, one she liked because it was pretty, and one she was told would be the best investment. She went with the best investment, then house prices declined, and she always regretted that she didn’t at least get to live in the pretty house.

Life is about choices, and we make them every day about how to spend our time and money. We might look at our lives and think we can’t make changes we want to make, but who is stopping us from taking up a new hobby, learning a new skill, or making some other change we’d like to see in our lives?

We are our control board, the decisions we make will determine our lives. There is a good deal of luck in life, and we aren’t in control of whether the book we write is found by someone who will publish it and make us famous, but we are in control if we write it.

Decisions we make daily can make our lives better or worse. Do we make bad things worse, bad things better, good things worse, or good things, better? If we make things worse we might end up bitter and wonder how so much bad happened to us.

Do we have a choice to make, can we make the best choice with the information we have, and then move on to our next choice?

No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse. At the same time, it is often within your power to make them better. Randy Pausch

Take responsibility for your last bad decision, and then let it go. Don’t blame others or make excuses for yourself. Deepak Chopra

Exploring how you could make a hard situation worse can sometimes tell you what not to do. Harvey Mackay

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone who reads my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Don’t worry, be happy, but do your due diligence and pick a leader.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be. Unknown

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Our two-year-old grandson says to us.” Does he know what he is saying? It is some of the best advice because what does worry do? If we have a problem we need to fix worrying about it doesn’t help.

If we don’t look after the things we need to look after worrying about what we didn’t do won’t help. If we take care of everything worrying won’t help. Often, I worry about things that aren’t in my control which is not an effective use of mental energy.

We worry about the weather, the economy, and how our cities and countries will be run, but when we have the hard task of deciding who will lead them do we get out and make the difference we can make?

If we manage our lives effectively does that mean we will worry less? Isn’t that what all the books are telling us to do? Take care of what you can today and don’t worry about tomorrow because if we look after today, tomorrow will look after itself.

Too often I spend my time thinking about what someone else should be doing or not doing instead of cleaning my doorstep. It’s time to vote for a new mayor in Mississauga, and I have no idea who to vote for. One candidate came to our door and spoke to me. He asked if he could put a sign on the lawn and I said yes.

Putting his sign on the lawn doesn’t mean he has my vote, it means he’s contacted me. But as the days get closer to the election I seem no closer to knowing who to vote for. Everyone seems to be in the same boat at an event on Saturday. We probably have a competent group running to be Mayor but which one will make the best Mayor?  It’s my job to cast my vote, and everyone else’s to cast theirs and whoever gets the job will guide us forward.

Choosing one’s leaders is an affirmation that the person making the choice has inherent worth. Linda Chavez

We are lucky, people want to take on the often thankless job of leadership. No leader will make all the people happy. We know in our own lives we don’t always make the best decisions, we don’t always act in the best way, but what we do is not scrutinized by everyone.

What if someone scrutinized every word we said, every action we take or have ever taken, and spun our words into saying things we didn’t mean? It takes courage to be a leader and leaders often pay a heavy price.

One of the mistakes we make is expecting more of others than we do of ourselves. We are all flawed humans, so our leaders are flawed as well, but they do the best they can, with the information they know to help the most amount of people. Will everyone be happy, of course not. What do we do with competing interests that are not compatible?

If we are lucky enough to have the chance to vote for our leaders we need to appreciate the privilege and responsibility we have, and we need to appreciate the sacrifices they’ve made to take on the mantle of responsibility.

Don’t worry, be happy, but do your duty and pick a leader, knowing they won’t be perfect, but chances are they will do their best, at great cost to themselves to lead a city, province, or country.

Leadership has a harder job to do than just choose sides. It must bring sides together. Jesse Jackson

The moment we believe that success is determined by an ingrained level of ability as opposed to resilience and hard work, we will be brittle in the face of adversity. Joshua Waitzkin

If there is dissatisfaction with the status quo, good. If there is ferment, so much the better. If there is restlessness, I am pleased. Then let there be ideas, and hard thought, and hard work. If man feels small, let man make himself bigger. Hubert H, Humphrey

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.