Posted on by BWThomas

If what we fear most is what we most need to do, what would our life look like if we did it?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

80% of value is achieved with the first 20% of effort. Pareto principle

Is it possible to work less, worry less, succeed more, and enjoy life more? A book I picked up yesterday, Living the 80/20 Way by Richard Koch tells me it is. If it is true that a small amount of energy leads to most of the great things in our lives, and a small portion of our time leads to most of our happiness and fulfillment what if we spent our lives pursuing that 20 percent?

We need to know what we want, nothing happens without a goal to aim for and a plan to get there. We then need to know what actions are proven to give us the majority of our happiness and fulfillment.

Of course, we can’t do everything, so simplifying our life down to where we are doing the important things, the worthwhile things, and the things that make us happy, prosperous, and wise should be the best use of our time. If we know what those things are wouldn’t we be doing them, and if we do know them and aren’t doing them, why aren’t we, and if we don’t know what they are, why don’t we?

You know in this book of wisdom about living the good life it is going to be most of the things we’ve always heard we should do, but a lot of us don’t do. Save ten percent, get up early, eat right, exercise, marry the right person, be the right person, and forgive people for their trespasses against us.

Life is simple, but we complicate it by not doing the important things first. We love dessert, and if we indulge twenty percent of the time, we can probably get away with it. I’m going to read this book, but just reading books without implementing what is in them doesn’t change our lives. If we want to be in the twenty percent of people who do well, we need to do what the eighty percent aren’t doing and we might find we have areas of our lives we are better at than others.

Strive for excellence in few things rather than good performance in many. Richard Koch

Health, fitness, family, and finances are the four areas that pay big dividends. If we can be healthy enough, fit enough, happy enough, and rich enough to live to the end of our life then isn’t that a good life and a good goal?

How healthy do we have to be to die young, at a ripe old age? How rich do we have to be to not run out of money no matter how old we get? How do we create meaning and purpose during all those years?

These are the questions we should be asking ourselves, we have people in our families that are either an example or a cautionary tale, and we should be making decisions about our future life while we still have time to have an impact on that future. One financial book said we can have a steak, hamburger, or cat food retirement. We might aim for steak and get a hamburger retirement and that’s okay but how low can you go, might not be a good strategy for retirement.

I do think some of the scare tactics making us believe we will never have enough are not good either. We will never be younger than we are today, but there are decisions to make so the future can be as good as it can be. What if one of the things we do in our life is weigh our options, will this make life better in the future or worse, and do the things that will make it better, and don’t do the things that will make it worse?

It is unlikely in life we will ever feel, at least for long that we have 100% of what we want, and often we have to satisfy ourselves with 80% of what we want in spouses, jobs, businesses, or other areas of life.  We need to be careful not to see the missing 20% and go after it only to find out later we should have stayed with our original 80%.

What do we want, and what do we need to do to get it? How would getting or doing the things we want, change our life? If we know what it is, have we put it on our to-do list? But, are we putting 80% at risk to go after a missing 20%?

It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about? Henry David Thoreau

The important thing is the 80/20 rule: 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. This means that if you’re doing ten tasks, two are going to be vastly more important than others. Brian Tracy

Knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power. Lao Tzu

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

If we think we can’t, we can’t, if we want to do anything we must move in the direction of our dreams.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe. Gail Devers

Yesterday, I went to Value Village and looked through the books – if you buy four you get the fifth one free, and I had six books. As I looked through the books wondering which one to put back, I looked at the smallest book costing $1.79, so I thought, I’ll just take it too.

As I was cashing out the attendant took an interest in the books I was buying, but when he came to the smallest book, “The Ten Secrets of Abundant Wealth,” by Adam Jackson he said, “I wouldn’t read that.”

It seemed like an odd reaction to the little book, that might have something in it that would help a young man build a life. When I got home I took a good look at the book, wondering if he found something offensive in it as he perused the chapters. The chapters: The Power of Subconscious Belief, The Power of a Burning Desire, The Power of Definite Purpose, The Power of an Organized Plan of Action, The Power of Specialized Knowledge, The Power of Persistence, The Power of Controlled Expenditure, The Power of Integrity, The Power of Faith, and The Power of Charity.

It is written as a parable, a young man is walking in the early morning bemoaning his fate of never having enough when he meets an old man who starts talking to him and tells him, “If you don’t believe something is possible it is unlikely it will ever come true.”

They walk a bit and the old man continues, “In my country we believe that every problem brings with it a gift, every adversity contains within it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.”

“Hmmmf!” says the young man.

“It applies to everything… even money problems,” said the old man. “Money problems open the path to abundant wealth – riches beyond your dreams.”

There is a lot of work between an idea and bringing that idea to fruition, but doesn’t it all start with an idea? How many people have started a business because of disappointment where they work, or disappointment because they couldn’t do something for their family and they decided I’m not living like this anymore, something has to change?

Be miserable, or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice. Wayne Dyer

The old man also tells him that he lives in abundance that people in the past weren’t privileged to live, and many people in the world don’t get to live like this now.

It takes a lot of hard work, determination, and perseverance, to get ahead in life, but it is the adventure before us and is what will give our life meaning and purpose and pride in what we accomplish.

I was talking yesterday to a lady who lost everything in late midlife, but she has a great attitude and is pouring her passion into writing. She has written her memoir about marrying a professor when she was sixteen and living on four continents before ending up in Canada, “The Other I” by Zohra Zoberi.

The choices we make determine our life, and when we think we can’t do something our life goes in a different direction than when we say, “I think I can, I think I can.” The more we do the more we find we are capable of.

How many of us have thought of something we wanted to do and only when we see someone else has done it do we realize we could have done it too. If it wasn’t beyond them, why do we think it is beyond us?

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. Tony Robbins

In faith, there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don’t. Blaise Pascal

There is no man living that cannot do more than he thinks he can. Henry Ford

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone who reads my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

We are part of the greatest creation in the world – family.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Life feels complete when you’re together with your family. Unknown

Last night my daughter hosted a family dinner in honor of Mom. We talked and laughed late into the night. How wonderful family gatherings are filled with love and laughter. My brother next to me called me after we left Mom’s, telling me he and his family are still going to have the 100th year celebration for Mom we were planning in August. He will do it from his place with a zoom call with all who are interested in joining in. We might end up having a larger celebration than we could have if everyone gathered in one place.

One of the things Mom said about her 100th celebration, “You can have it with or without me.” That we can all get together and talk and laugh whether in person or on a zoom call, it is the getting together, the stories and the laughter that is important. My husband is having group chats with members of his family that live abroad.

Reach out and touch someone, it has never been easier, but maybe the easier things get, the more we don’t do them, because they are so easy, it can happen any time, until it can’t.

My son, who hasn’t yet produced a grandchild expounded on what parents expect of their offspring, who they give so much too, and ask so little of, a grandchild to love and watch take their place in the world.

People who haven’t created a family don’t know what they are missing, or so those of us who have, believe. Who would have surrounded Mom at her bedside if she didn’t have children? Who would surround me at mine if I didn’t have any?

I almost didn’t post today, because sitting with family, enjoying a day off with nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company spreads before me. My daughter is taking her son for a walk, so I turned on my computer.

There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues… are created, strengthened, and maintained. Winston Churchill

We had happy news on Valentine’s Day, I became a great-aunt again, to a wonderful, healthy, baby boy. The family circle continues and we are part of an unbroken line. No matter what we do, no matter what we accomplish, I don’t believe there is a greater joy than beholding the hope and promise in a baby’s face.

We all want the world to be better for our children and grandchildren, and we have to believe it is possible to build a better world, but do we know what a better world looks like? Do we think a life of ease and plenty will build a better society? Have not the best societies been built on sacrifice for the greater good? What would it mean if we said we were going to live our lives with the greater good in mind? That we would expect to look back at the end of our life and be proud of the decisions we made, the hardships we endured, and the opportunities we passed up for something greater?

Building a marriage and a family is that choice and if we knew the sacrifices we would make at the beginning we might not tread that path, but who, when they see their grandchildren and great-grandchildren think it was all for naught? We need to take the long view in life and know that moments of happiness come, but if we are always chasing happiness we might miss true contentment for a life well lived.

For in the end, what if what we are most proud of is some of the things we most hated while we were going through them? We were with someone in their hardest time, which was also our hardest time. We stood up against something wrong when standing up for it was not popular, and we endured when we wanted to give up. Decisions over time build our life and those decisions will be what we are proud of or ashamed of. Sometimes it is the choice between bad and good and we make the wrong choice we are later ashamed of, but sometimes the choices are between two good choices, or between two bad choices, and we have to make the best of what we choose.

When it is time to choose, if we always keep our family first in our hearts and choose what will be best for them in the long run, will we be prouder of our choices than if we don’t?

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Paul Pearsall

In every conceivable manner, the family is a link to our past, bridge to our future. Alex Haley

The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career. C.S. lewis

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Is gratitude the greatest of all virtues and the parent of all others?

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you. Knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. Brian Tracy

Is the good life within reach of all of us? The Super Bowl was played last night, and on display were many people we are sure are living the good life. Lives of extraordinary wealth and advantage were on display. Wouldn’t we love to be a fly on a wall in some of the homes of the rich and famous and find out what it’s really like? We’ve gotten more information than we ever wanted about some famous families, and how many of us think we’d like to exchange our lives for theirs?

Would it surprise us to know everyone has problems or surprise us if some families don’t have problems? Living the good life is not about never having problems, never facing adversity, or never having problems become public. Living the good life, in my mind, is dealing with what is ahead of us and what is behind us. Jim Rohn tells us not to ask for easy but to ask to be better. Better able to withstand the storms of life and know what we must do and to do it.

Jordan Peterson tells us to be the strongest person at our parent’s funeral and this means if we are lucky enough to have siblings we will each have someone to lean on. Having faith to lean on gets many through the hard parts of life and many find faith in the hardest parts of life.

Finding meaning in a rapidly changing world, disintegrating families, and social upheaval is to grab onto what is good and true and carve out a little space for ourselves and those we love. Inside our little space, we build our little world and although we venture out to the wider world we need to keep our little space wholly our own, and though we treasure our family and friends, they are not ours to keep forever, and whether they are with us for a long time or a short time we need to treasure what we had and go on without them.

Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart. Roy T. Bennett

Only those who can go forward after loss can lead a good life because we will always have to go forward after loss until the end of our lives. There is always loss, loss of a dream, loss of a loved one, loss of things the way they were, the way we were comfortable with them. Change is the only constant and the better we are at riding the roller coaster of life the better our lives will be.

When we listen to other people’s stories, what they’ve overcome, and what dangers they’ve faced, we are sometimes in awe of what we hear. What gets some to the end of their life facing hardships without becoming bitter, and others who didn’t appear to face such hardships become warped and bitter and difficult to be around?

Can we afford to be bitter and hard to be around when we are old and dependent on others? A pleasant personality in old age would help a great deal in dealing with that difficult time of life. An attitude of gratitude if we cultivate it early will we still have it in the end? I think it’s possible, I’ve seen it in others, and it makes me hope I can cultivate it in myself. Does gratitude sweeten even the smallest moments and lead to a life of joy?

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude, of giving and forgiving. Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. Doris Day

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. William Arthur Ward

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the purchase price through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

It’s not the years in our life that matter it’s the life in our years. Can we live till we die and die all at once?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. Mother Teresa

Mom died on January 27, 2024, and was born on November 21, 1924. My youngest sister, Mom’s niece from California, and I were with her as she took her last breath. My sister looked at me, “It was supposed to be beautiful, and it wasn’t beautiful.”

“It wasn’t horrible,” I replied. Somewhere between beautiful and not horrible is an okay death. Some deaths come too soon, some seem to take forever, and some seem, just right.

Mom only wanted two things, one was to have all her children together, we were planning it for her hundredth birthday, but it happened the Wednesday before her death with all of us present except one brother and he was on speaker phone playing recordings of her brother and Dad playing instruments and singing. We couldn’t have had the recordings play if he’d been there in person, the sound quality was questionable, but it brought us back to happy times.

Mom hugged and acknowledged everyone, and earlier we’d thought our three sisters and brother coming from the airport might not make it. We called and told them, “Do not stop, come straight,” and they did.

I marvel still that we all realized and heeded that realization, it was now or never to see Mom one more time and be with each other. Regrets often happen when we don’t do the thing we know to do, we could have thought we’ll get things in order and come the next week, but it would have been too late. Mom didn’t want a funeral if you didn’t see her when she was alive she didn’t see why you would move heaven and earth to go to her funeral.

The other thing Mom wanted was to stay in her own home, and she got that too. Home care came in the last few days before she died and the first night she thought they came to take her to the hospital or a nursing home. “Don’t let them take me,” we think we heard.

“They are here to help you stay in your home,” we told her, but the next morning she had her feet out of the bed as if she wanted to prove she didn’t need to go to a hospital or a home.  We reassured her again and it seemed okay.

Palliative Care gave us a form for an, ‘Expected Death in the Home” so we didn’t need the ambulance, police, and coroner. There were no uncomfortable questions to answer because it was an expected death.

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people, and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success. Ralph Waldo Emerson

To live a good long happy and productive life, with a reasonable death, and no or few regrets is a reasonable goal. There are a few things I think Mom did that gave her a long healthy life, free of disease until the end. When she had a problem she tried to figure out what caused it, and quit doing what caused it. She walked until the end, and my brother swears quilting added ten years to her life, and I believe him. She lived alone, but wasn’t lonely, until close to the end when what had kept her busy was beyond her.

Mom left her mark with her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren. In the next couple of days, a new great-grandson will be born. The circle of life continues, and we are somewhere in that circle. If we make the most of what we have, our time, talents, and contributions then we too can close our eyes for the last time with no or few regrets whenever that time comes.

We must hoist up the load that is ours to bear and do it with good cheer, perseverance, and gratitude because even though we know it could be better, we also know it could be worse. One of the things we can always do is make our life worse, we might not always be able to make it better but often there are small things we can do to make things better for ourselves and someone else.

We don’t know how much someone needs a smile or a bit of cheerful conversation, how that little act, so small and insignificant might help a hurting soul. It might be the only interaction they get all day, and it might make a difference.

We think it is big things that lead to a good life, but more and more I think the small, seemingly insignificant things that add onto each other are what create the good life, and it is why a good life is within the reach of all of us.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. Mae West

To live a good life: We have the potential for it. If we can learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference. Marcus Aurelius

The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination. Carl Rogers

Thank you for reading this post, and please come back and read some more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon; if you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.