Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity. Albert Einstein

If we are going to be good at something we also have to be a novice at it. We will struggle and make mistakes, we will feel foolish and unskilled, and we might never feel like we’ve mastered the challenge to our satisfaction, and that might be the best way to feel.

There will come a point when our best work is not still ahead of us, but if that point is later in life it might be better for us. It might be best if we go through life and find new challenges. I think of Mom with most of her quilts being created after she turned eighty.

I’m thinking about what challenges I might take on after eighty. It is sobering to become the oldest generation but once our parents pass we become the oldest generation. Do we feel wise enough to be the oldest generation? As we become the oldest generation we are supposed to be wise and forward-looking, depending on our age now, that might happen sooner or later, but if we live a long life it will happen. We will become the patriarch or matriarch in our family.

We will never be ready to take on the mantle but we will rise to the occasion because there is no other choice. We might not be growing up with enough sense of duty, we think our choices only matter to our own lives, but our choices and other people’s choices create the society we live in. If we want a better society better choices have to be made by someone, but if we always expect someone else to make the better choices, and not ourselves, we have no power.

If you can stay positive in a negative situation you win. Anonymous

The only power we have in life is to improve our own life and that of our family, and when everyone improves, society improves. If we do the right thing, other people might choose to do the right thing, but waiting for everyone else to do it first is how nothing changes. This could be picking litter off the street, not dropping it in the first place, or treating others with respect, kindness, and fairness.

We don’t live in a perfect society, and we never will, but do we appreciate how good it is? Can we continue to live in peace and relative harmony without letting the conflicts in the world come between us? Can we continue to build a better society, or do we think the best times were the times of our youth, because it was the best time for us, our whole life was still ahead of us instead of more behind than ahead for many of us.

What we do for the society we live in is not just for us, it is for our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and even great-great-grandchildren and further down the generations. We are setting up the future for generations to come, it won’t be all good or all bad, and I’m not sure we know which is which.

I pray that one day when I pass the mantle onto my son and daughter, I feel good about where we are and what we’ve done as a society. The sum of the improvements we’ve made and the mistakes at least balance out. Perhaps every generation lives in the best of times and the worst of times. Our challenge is to make the best of the worst, not the worst of the best. This might be the challenge of our lives to make the best of the worst, to improve what can be improved, and to accept what we can’t change.

Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you. Choose to stay positive and be strong. Unknown

The bad news: Nothing is permanent. The good news: Nothing is permanent. Lolly Daskal

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Eckhart Tolle

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Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A merry heart does good, like a medicine. Proverbs 17:22b

Mom turned ninety-nine on Tuesday. She can’t believe where the time went. I listened to a podcast on aging, and the expert listed the five top things that impact aging in their order of importance: friends, diet, exercise, stress, and creativity. Mom puts diet as number one.

If we want to have the opportunity to age well, we will have to eat a good diet, but what is a good diet, and how good does a good diet have to be? Friends are important, Mom lost her friend and walking partner a couple of years ago and it made a huge difference in her life. Exercise is important and Mom is still going for a daily walk because it is important at ninety-nine to be able to do Thursday what you could do on Wednesday.

Stress at ninety-nine, one shouldn’t have a lot of stress but of course, there is always stress in our lives and one of the stresses aging people face is that they might lose the ability to make choices for their own life.

Creativity might be the choice that pays the biggest dividends for our mental health as we age. We can’t control what will happen to our friends, or how often our family comes to visit, or when our spouse dies, but we can choose to be creative and put passion and purpose into our lives. Mom quilted before Dad died, but it was after his death that quilting became a bigger focus in her life and she created her most beautiful and intricate quilts.

A joyful heart is the normal result of a heart burning with love. She gives most who gives with joy. Mother Teresa

Being alone is a physical state, and it is not the same as being lonely. Loneliness is an emotional state and we can still be lonely when surrounded by people. There comes a time when we might not be able to physically continue with our creative pursuits and that might be when loneliness descends upon us. The hours are no longer filled and the promise of what we will do tomorrow is not with us.

We might wish we didn’t live long enough to lose the ability to do the things we love, but we don’t have a choice in that. We will have to deal with the circumstances as they show up in our lives and make the best of them. Keeping a sense of humor and perspective on life will help. If like Mom we can see the funny in whatever situation presents and retain an attitude of gratitude because even if what is, isn’t great, it could be worse. Life is what it is and we can make the best of it or the worst of it. We can appreciate the wonderful moments life presents or be miserable.

Even when we don’t get to make many other choices in our life our attitude is still our choice and it is so much more wonderful to be around someone happy and grateful than sour and miserable.

Mom is an example of aging with grace and dignity, keeping a positive attitude, and a grateful spirit. It is my wish to be as great of an example to my children and grandchildren as she has been. It almost seems impossible, but what is life for if not audacious goals?

Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. Henri J.M. Nouwen

Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate. So practice happy thinking every day. Cultivate the merry heart, develop the happiness habit, and life will become a continual feast. Norman Vincent Peale

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every moment with love and gratitude. Denis Waitley

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. Larry Lorenzoni

Visiting Mom was wonderful and I will look back over the time I spent with her before her ninety-ninth birthday with gratitude forever. One of the things we have to be okay with is aging, our own, and those we love. We have to accept the limitations and adjust our expectations. If we are used to non-stop conversation, we may need to become okay with sitting in silence. Our presence is comforting and if someone no longer wants to be alone being there with them is a gift to them and us.

I found knitting relaxing. Sitting in silence shouldn’t feel awkward, but having something to do with our hands and our minds while we sit might make sitting more comfortable.

I remember one of Mom’s friends had a child that went through endless hospital visits and treatments. Mom said she didn’t know how she would be able to do it, but she could have, we all can if we have to, we might not know it, but we can rise to the circumstances of our lives, and be there for those we love in the capacity they need because it is what needs to be done. Jordan Peterson tells us we should be the strongest person at our parent’s funeral. We should try to be someone others can count on, and what a society we build if we all can be counted on, and we can all count on someone.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Will Rogers

Mom’s niece drove from California to spend a month with Mom; she calls her Aunty-Mom. Mom was there for her, and now she’s there for Mom. The circle of life goes around, for some, it is short, for others it is longer but it does come to a close, and living it with dignity is what we want and strive for. Some people find dignity in a home, some find it staying in their own home, and one choice isn’t necessarily better. Mom’s sister-in-law came to visit while I was out, she chose to go into a home and is happy with her choice. Mom is choosing to stay in her own home and is happy with hers.

What is agonizing is when a person can no longer have what they want and finds it hard to accept their limitations, or someone gets to make choices for them they disagree with. We are fortunate that my sister and her family are looking to relocate near Mom and will live with her, a benefit to both of them. We don’t know how things will work out, or what circumstances will occur that make things we didn’t see how could work out, work out, this is serendipity in our lives and it is working for Mom.

My aunt who moved to a home says the same, she was beginning to think she would look into a home, a room was available, and she liked it when she saw it, the food is good, she is close to family, and she says it fits her perfectly. All the pieces came together in ways she didn’t expect and she is grateful and happy that things worked out how they have.

One of the things we want most in life is choices over how our life will unfold, sometimes the choices will be between two goods, between the best of what can be, but if we have a choice we will feel better about our lives.

At the end of our lives, we will look back over the choices we’ve made and how wonderful it is to spend time with people who are happy with the life they’ve lived, surrounded by children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and even great-great-grandchildren. As I write this I am hearing men debate about whether the richness of life is having a family or not, or they should spend their lives only on the pursuit of money and status. In the end, family is the only thing we will leave behind, and I can’t imagine feeling great at ninety-nine with no family because we made the choice not to have one, not because the circumstances didn’t work out and we had to accept the things we couldn’t change, but because we thought money was more important than family.

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. Truman Capote

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope

The idea is to die young as late as possible. Ashley Montagu

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.