Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings. Albert Einstein

We don’t agree on many things. We don’t agree with co-workers, neighbors, experts, our government, our spouses, our kids on many levels and many subjects. We have to be okay with not agreeing because what is the alternative? Someone compelled to believe what we believe doesn’t work because compelling someone to act like we are right, doesn’t change the way they think, in fact, this probably leads to passive-aggressive behavior. When we can’t openly disagree we act out our disagreement in other ways.

There are times we should stand our ground and make our point. We also have to know when we’ve made our point. When there is nothing more to be gained except to ruin what we have, what we are standing up for.

Agreeing to disagree is the resolution of a conflict that requires all parties to tolerate the opposing positions, even when they do not accept it as the best choice. We can’t always get what we feel is the best choice because the other party does not feel it is the best choice. Expecting everyone to agree and go through life without disagreeing on what the correct response is; is not the correct response.

The problem appears to me to be how to stand down when we’ve taken a stand without ruining what we had before we took the stand. Often people don’t stand up for what they think is right because they fear the cost of standing up is too high. There is also a cost to not standing up, and there is a cost to not realizing when we’ve made our stand and it is time to stand down.

Maintaining high moral ground is a tough thing to fight. I’m reading that when 3.5% of the people get behind a non-violent movement change happens. One of the ways to destroy such a movement is for it to descend into violence, for people with nefarious purposes, and rabble-rousers to get involved that are looking for a fight.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Unknown

We know in our personal relationships that maintaining high moral ground puts us in the winning position, but when we allow our temper to get the best of us, often we lose any ground we’ve won.

It’s a good place to live, on moral high ground. It’s a good place to build our society, and raise our children. Moral high ground isn’t perfect; it isn’t about not making a mistake as a people, a family, or a government. It is doing the best we can, most of the time with what we had at the time. Looking back we may think if we knew then what we know now we’d have made a different decision. That is the human condition we didn’t know what the unexpected consequences of our actions would be.  

Building families, societies, and countries is a messy business. We make decisions with unintended consequences. There are winners and losers and everyone is not happy with outcomes. Everyone would not be happy if the outcome was different.

If we stand on moral high ground, everyone may not think we are right, but when we can look ourselves in the eye and think we’ve done the best with what we had and tried to do the most good for the most amount of people that’s a good way to live a life. Two sides don’t have to agree and they can both think they are standing on moral high ground.

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. Winston Churchill

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. Desmond Tutu

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one day have the potential to be comic stories the next. Nora Ephron

Last night at Toastmasters one of the new members has written four books. I’ve written three, and another lady is taking a course to help publish hers. We had this conversation when there were only a few of us in the meeting. Everyone has a story to tell and maybe the more people tell their stories the more we will understand each other.

What if we could understand people’s thoughts and feelings stated in their own words? If we could understand how they believe things they’ve done, said, left undone, or unsaid were interpreted or misinterpreted. Would we be so quick to label them as this or that?

Joe Rogan comes to mind. We can listen to his conversations because he has a podcast and he’s had it for years. He discussed a word that is forbidden to say and he is now in trouble. I don’t believe we should live in a country and interact with people and some people can say something others cannot. Now, I know people do say things amongst themselves and that would be fine. But, this word is in the songs our children sing, but they can’t sing the word. We have to be absolutely crazy to think this is OK.

Don’t use the OK sign while you complain because that supposedly has connotations and overtones. We may not agree when people stand up for something that it is exactly what they are standing up for. We don’t understand other people’s sensitivities and what is important to them. Being told, “you have to or else,” is a red flag to some, and good behavior to others. Who is right, who is wrong? What happened to agree to disagree, what happened to the middle way?

The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say but what we are unable to say. Anais Nin

I said to my husband yesterday, “We both believe in the concept of equality, we don’t agree with what that is.” Equal opportunity, versus equal outcome, who is right? How can we ever get an equal outcome?

Back to writing books. If each of us writes a book, about one in ten or even less is likely to make money. Sometimes what makes money is seen as a commercial success that doesn’t have as much merit in some people’s eyes as what they consider, “True Art.” Some people would prefer to be seen as, “The true artist,” others would prefer to make money. I don’t think being a commercial success makes you less of an artist just because it’s a commercial success, and just because you aren’t a commercial success doesn’t make it, “True Art.”

There are many gray areas in life, and if we want a successful, and mostly harmonious civilization we will have to live with a lot of gray areas. We will have to accept that even the most well-intentioned people can be awkward and have their words misinterpreted. Staying away from difficult conversations doesn’t make a better civilization. It doesn’t work in families, communities, or countries. Perhaps we have to have the right to feel offended, but does that mean we can take away the freedom or livelihood from those who offend us?

I have a book called “Unoffendable” and I think the more we try not to take offense in life the better our life will be. We now have micro-aggressions people are complaining about. I absolutely believe they occur; some people live their life in a passive-aggressive mode because they aren’t powerful enough to be assertive or aggressive. People aren’t perfect, the stoics wrote about what we are dealing with as people, the bible and other books talk about it. The human condition and coping with the slings and arrows of life is what we have to deal with.

Society will never be perfect because it is made up of people. We may prefer unemotional robots, but we have to deal with people and their imperfections. One of the ways to have an unhappy life is to have unrealistic expectations, and be upset when others don’t live up to them. We can work on ourselves and we will never reach perfection, but trying to fix other people doesn’t work at all.

I usually write about things that frighten me. Otherwise, what’s the point? Kafka once said we need books not to be entertained by them but for them to be like an ax on the frozen sea of our souls. David Grossman

People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument. Will Rogers

If your everyday life seems poor to you, do not accuse it; accuse yourself, tell yourself you are not poet enough to summon up the riches; since for the creator there is no poverty and no poor or unimportant place. Rainer Maria Rilke

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and make a purchase I receive a percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.