Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you. John C. Maxwell
How do we make fundamental choices that change our lives? We know people who make fundamental choices they quit smoking and this time it worked. What is the difference between when it works and when it doesn’t? According to Robert Fritz in The Path of Least Resistance, there are ways we avoid making effective choices.
Choice by possibilities – choosing only what seems possible or reasonable.
Choice by indirectness – choosing the process instead of the result.
Choice by elimination – eliminating all other possibilities so that only one choice remains.
Choice by default – the “Choice” not to make a choice, so that whatever results happen seem to occur without choices.
Conditional choice – imposing preconditions on choices.
Choice by reaction – choices designed to overcome a conflict.
Choice by consensus – choosing by finding out what everyone else is willing to recommend and following the results of that poll.
Choice by adverse possession – choice based on a hazy metaphysical notion about the nature of the universe.
We can choose results we want to see manifested or we can make choices based on what we want to avoid. If we can have a clear vision of what we want to create and then actually say the words, “I choose to have…
We have different kinds of choices to make. We have primary choices which are choices about major results. A primary choice is about some result we want in itself and for itself. It is not a step to something else it is the thing itself. It is the ultimate goal it might be something like a superb relationship, a beautiful home, or a wonderful vacation.
Secondary choices help us take a step toward our primary choice. Booking the tickets for the vacation, going on date nights, and going to the gym.
Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision. Tony Robbins
A fundamental choice is a choice upon which primary and secondary choices rest. A fundamental choice is a choice in which we commit ourselves to a basic life orientation or state of being. When we have made a fundamental choice about the way we want our life to be all other choices support that choice.
When I made the primary choice to be a writer something changed from when I was just hoping, wishing, and thinking I would write someday. I can’t put my finger on it but reading this book has crystallized that being a writer is a primary choice for me. Getting married was a primary choice and having children was a primary choice. Going into business for ourselves was a primary choice.
The more we are willing to make fundamental choices in our lives about the direction we want our lives to take the more control we have in our life. We can’t control the outcome of many things but we can control the direction. If we are in a reactive response we are waiting for circumstances to make us happy. If we are creating our own lives we are creating our own satisfaction and we are happy from the inside out. When we make fundamental choices to be true to ourselves we may deal with the circumstances differently to remain true to ourselves regardless of what the circumstances are.
The four fundamental choices Robert Fritz offers in his book The Path of Least Resistance are:
To be the predominant creative force in our life.
To be true to ourselves.
Health (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual).
He says we should not assume that we automatically want to make these fundamental choices. He says if we make the choice for these four fundamental choices circumstances may change slowly or quickly as the structural tendencies of our life work to fulfill these choices.
What choices do we need to make? Are they fundamental choices, primary choices, or secondary choices?
You have a choice. A single choice, whatever that choice may be, you have to live with the consequences it brings. That’s all. A Choice. G. Gutierrez
One of the most important things that I have learned… is that life is all about choices. On every journey you take, you face choices. At every fork in the road, you make a choice. And it is those decisions that shape our lives. Mike DeWine
We’re making decision right now that shape our lives. Even indecision is a decision. What’s going on today is a result of the choices we’ve made in the past. Toni Sorenson
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