Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely. Roy T. Bennet
We’ve all heard a happy wife makes a happy life. Is this true? If it is true doesn’t that put a huge burden on us women?
Only happy people can have happy relationships. Is it true? Then if we want a happy marriage, relationship, family, work place we will have to start with us. We sometimes think we are unhappy because of what is going on around us, but often we can be happy in our relationships if we are happy, positive, energized. We need to get that spark back.
A relationship coach Laura Doyle says she was great wife material until she actually got married. She tried to tell her husband he needed to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier. When she started talking to women who had what she wanted in their marriages and practiced what they practiced the magic returned.
She has written numerous books on the subject. It all starts with us. If we want to be happy, we need to be happy. We need to find the joy in life. We need to be grateful for what we have. She tells us we need to do three things every day that bring joy and happiness to our life. Not for our husband, kids, or relationship for us.
My husband and I discussed a sore spot in our relationship yesterday morning. He went off to his appointment in a less than happy mood, and I was in a less than happy mood. I was looking on the internet and up came Laura Doyle. I thought about her suggestion of three things I could do to make myself happy. I’d already written my blog so that was number one. It was a beautiful day so I took Lulu for a walk around the pond and took some pictures. When I got back I had some cashew ice-cream. I called mom but she wasn’t home.
By the time my husband got back he said he was hungry so we went out for coffee. As we sat there he said “there’s a big change in you since this morning. I like it when you’re happy.”
This is exactly what Laura Doyle is saying. She doesn’t have high regard for marriage counseling. She believes it doesn’t work because it isn’t focused on making the marriage better; it is more focused on who is at fault. She is a relationship coach and she only works with women. I only came across her yesterday but this is what I’ve been telling my husband about a lot of what is on YouTube. Many of the videos are about someone blaming someone for their life, not fixing their own life.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. Bertrand Russell
Laura Doyle believes as I do that relationships are dynamic, when we change, they change. The problem a lot of us have is we don’t want to be the one that changes because the other person is the problem. We can only change our self. It might not sound like a lot, but it is everything.
In Al-anon where people with some of the worst relationships go, they find help because they are taught to change their own life. They are taught to quit trying to control someone else. If we can manage our own life it is a big enough job. What someone else chooses to do with theirs is out of our control.
We can live with them and like it, we can live with them and hate it, or we can leave, but we can’t do what we want to do and change them. This is our choice every day. The thing is when we change our self, everything changes.
We aren’t victims in the sense that we can’t make our life better without someone else changing. We can change, we can become happy. Is every relationship salvageable because we choose to be happy? Every person has to make this decision for them self.
My challenge is to find three things every day that make me happy. Oprah told us years ago to write down three things we were grateful for every day. Gratitude and happiness go hand in hand.
They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world; someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. Tom Bodett
To subscribe or comment click on the picture and scroll to the bottom. Please subscribe, please comment.
The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Secrets for Attracting Your Husbands Time, Attention, and AffectionPaperback – Mar 28 2017