Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Life is a garden our thoughts are the seeds, we can plant flowers or we can plant weeds. Unknown

My husband tells me he heard a woman say, “I love a lazy Sunday doing nothing, but I sure hate it when I see my husband doing nothing.” How many of us in our hearts think the same. It might not be the same situation but often we are looking at things in someone else’s life they should fix when if we put our attention on what we should fix in our own lives we can make things better for ourselves.

One of the worst things we develop in life is a critical spirit. A critical spirit is a negative attitude of the heart that seeks to condemn, tear down, and destroy with words. In contrast, constructive criticism involves opinions that are meant to build up. A critical spirit creates blind spots in our hearts and minds causing us to believe we are being constructive when we are condemning, tearing down, and destroying with words.

There are four different ways we can be critical spirits, we can be gossipers, slanderers, judgmental, and complainers. Why do we develop critical spirits? We may be jealous, envious, angry, or hold grudges. We may be full of fear and develop a critical spirit as a way of self-protection. We may feel we are not in control of situations and we use manipulation and shaming in order to gain control.

The only true disability in life is a bad attitude. Scott Hamilton

How can we get rid of this problem that colors everything in our life and can ruin all the good things we have in our lives? It may be horrible to live with someone who is critical but if that someone is us how do we get rid of a critical spirit?

We can focus on what we control in our own lives, we can be grateful for what we have, we can make an effort to build others up, and we can look on the bright side of life.

This is what we can do. We can’t make other people act better, think better, or be better. We can only make ourselves act better, think better, and be better.

It seems to me there is a lot to complain about, but most of what we are hearing being complained about is not anything we have any control over. What if we put our energy into our lives, our families, and what we have direct influence over?

We can notice the small blessings in our lives and be grateful for what we have instead of what we feel is missing. We should think about what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy. This doesn’t mean we should ignore falsehood, injustice, ugliness, or imperfection. But, we should not dwell on the negative.

How do we deal with the realities in life without becoming bitter and critical?

Ask yourself: Have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world. Annie Lennox

Respect a man, and he will do all the more. John Wooden

Always give your best, never get discouraged, never be petty; always remember, others may hate you. Those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. Richard M. Nixon

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love,

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Photo by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. William Penn

Is envy at the root of many of the ills of our society? Was it envy that made Cain kill Abel?

There is a big difference between jealousy and envy. We are jealous if we think a girl is after our guy or worse yet he is showing some interest in her. In our mind our husband is ours and we feel threatened that we might lose something we have.

Envy is a reaction to something we think we lack. We may be envious of someone and their husband, their career, new car, fame, fortune, or opportunity. Envy harms us in a negative way if it takes up our time, consumes our thoughts, ruins our professional or personal relationships, warps our personality, and creates negativity in our lives.

Can it be a good thing if it spurs us to take action to better our lives and if it makes us move past the fear of failure by taking action to prove we can do it too?

God told Cain it was up to him what happened with his envy. If he changes, he will be able to control his anger and not sin. If on the other hand he does not, his anger will overcome him and he will commit a terrible crime. Cain slew Able because he didn’t control his anger.

Is this same scenario being acted out in our society over and over again by people who cannot control their envy and become bitter and resentful? What we also have going on is the media attention this garners which might make some people feel powerful for the moment, “Ignore this,” as they spray bullets.

Gratitude for what we have is one of the antidotes to envy. We can stop judging ourselves and comparing ourselves to others. We need to forgive ourselves for not being or having what we envy. We may need to forgive the person we envy for making us envious because of their good fortune, hard work, or genetic lottery. We can turn our envy into an appreciation of others’ good fortune. We can use our envy to generate goals for ourselves.

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own. Harold Coffin

If we can live by our own definition of success, and realize no matter what we see in someone else’s life we don’t know the whole story. We need to remember that other people’s success doesn’t impact our own; we need to do what we need to do to feel successful in our own lives. Can we quit comparing ourselves to other people and focus on our talents, assets, and goals? Can we be thankful for the people in our lives? Can we accept the things we can’t change, and change the things we can to create our best life?

There may be things we can’t change that are the cause of our envy. We will need to come to a place of acceptance before our envy turns into a negative force. We may need to look for a group of positive and grateful people. People who are nonjudgmental, generous, and kind may help us begin to feel that way too.

Maybe we can start a gratitude journal, focus on one positive thing per day, stay away from negative input, remind ourselves of what we can control, and give other people compliments. Research tells us that complimenting people we envy can help us overcome our feelings of resentment. Can we find a way to help others and will this help us see how much good we have going for us, in our own life?

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins. When it shows up in our lives we need to find ways to deal with it positively because if we don’t it may overcome us.

What role does envy play in our life?

Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate. William Arthur Ward

A person is born with feelings of envy and hate. If he gives way to them, they will lead him to violence and crime, and any sense of loyalty and good faith will be abandoned. Xun Kuang

Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbor to have them through envy. Aristotle

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, or see archives and categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe and comment.

Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love. Marcus Aurelius

My friend and I went for a walk yesterday. What a lovely day, cool enough to need a jacket, with the sun shining and pockets of early spring flowers blooming. We saw two open houses and popped in for a look. The first house was a bungalow with potential; the second was a bungalow with its potential realized by the current owners. It was gorgeous, with an addition and renovation completed about ten years ago, in the backyard was a pool, hot tub, outdoor kitchen with grill and pizza oven, a change room, and a bathroom. This is the house for people who love to entertain.

As we walked through the first house my friend said, “You need to have a vision of what it can become to buy a house like this, and the pocketbook to make it happen.” The second house was an example of someone with a vision, the pocketbook, and making it happen.

In the morning my new grandson’s other grandma and his aunt came over. They brought breakfast and we talked and laughed, while they admired and held the new addition acknowledging the changes since the last time they saw him.

As we talked and laughed I started dinner so it would be finished when my friend and I finished our walk. She is a first-time grandma herself but last year with the restrictions during this pandemic did not get to hold her grandson when he was brand new. She stayed for dinner and held my grandson marveling at how small he is compared to her one-year-old grandson.

The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most of every day. Unknown

My son tells his fiancé that when he sees me holding my grandson it looks like I’m on crack. “My mom has this perpetual smile on her face.” It’s true, being a grandma is wonderful and I am enjoying every moment of it knowing he won’t stay little for long. My friend goes through her picture gallery showing me pictures of her grandson. I’ve already done the same with people.

We don’t know what a day will bring. Yesterday was wonderful, filled with laughter, joy, friendship, and exploring our neighborhood. My husband and I are planning to go on day trips this summer, explore different areas, and see the sites near us. We can be tourists in our own locale.

Wherever we are in life, whatever our age, there are joys to be had. Some things we have to plan, some are spontaneous, some are even serendipitous, but if we are open to living in the moment and going with the flow we can enjoy these moments. They are especially sweet because they are fleeting.

We need to grab onto the moments of joy the day brings, and suck out all the sweetness in life. We never get to live the same day twice, we have to make the most of each one as it comes.  

Make each day a masterpiece. Don’t think your best days are out there somewhere. Why not today? Why can’t today be a great day? It can be if you believe it will. John Wooden

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Attention is the key to life. Whatever you really give your attention to, you become. Whatever you really concentrate upon will come into your life. We grow into the thing that fills our thoughts as inevitably as the stream merges into the ocean at last. Emmet Fox

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. Earl Nightingale

Last night I was looking at a post on Linked In and it said when we look at things we “get to” do instead of what we “have to” do we get an attitude change. How many people wish they could still do what we get to do, how many people have never gotten to do some of the things we take for granted?

When we say we “get to” instead of we “have to” we are stating we have choice and opportunity. If we get to go to work today how lucky we are. If we get to drive a vehicle to work, go to the store today, make dinner, and get to eat it with family how lucky are we?

How many people wish mundane things they took for granted were still theirs to do, and enjoy? When we change the way we look at things, do the things we look at change? The Stoics believe we should spend some time looking at what we could lose in our lives as a way of appreciating what we have.

When we acknowledge that we get to do something we acknowledge if circumstances were different we might not, that we have something to be grateful for. We get to say good morning to our spouse this morning. I get to call Mom today and what a blessing that is.

I watched part of a fallen police officer’s wife’s speech over the weekend. How blessed she would feel if she could say good morning to her husband. A simple pleasure like that is gone from her life. It can be gone from our life as well and we need to enjoy these pleasures while we have them.

If there is a conversation we need to have with someone we need to have it now. One of the ways to live a life of few regrets is to enjoy as much of our lives as we can instead of sleepwalking through life thinking of it as the same old, same old. Some day we may wish we had some of the things that bother us about someone because they would still be with us.

Mondays are a great day to focus on what we “get to” do instead of what we “have to” do. Life is a gift, not an obligation. Jon Gordon

I’ve been working hard on getting my second novel out. What a privilege it is to be able to write that. I said to my husband, “I’ll be glad when it’s done when this is over.” He said, “You won’t be done.” He’s right, I’m not done writing I’m just done with this project.

I love the journey of writing, painting, and living. I love who I am when I am engaged in creativity. I love being part of a family with all that entails. I love sharing my life with a dog. Can we enjoy the pleasures in life, knowing they are fleeting and a new stage is coming?

I feel aimless at the end of a project and so I’ve quit ending everything at once. I have new projects already on the go as I finish the one I am working on. No matter what stage in life we are at we may face the end of things. We may need to find new things to occupy our time that was taken up by work or family.

Some of the things we got to do may be over. Our children don’t need us as much as they did. This is an opportunity to develop ourselves in new ways, find new ways to live a creative life, develop other aspects of ourselves we didn’t have time for. We get to make choices about how we will spend our time. If we raised a family there were years when we had no time for ourselves. It was all about work and kids, and we may look back fondly at those as the best years of our lives.

We are blessed we get to do so many things. Will it make a difference as we say we “get to” do, instead of what we “have to” do?

Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t. Steve Maraboli

You’ll have to be grateful for what we can do instead of angry about what we can’t. Eric Walters

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. J.R.R. Tolkien

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives of posts click on the picture, and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon Affiliate program.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Be happy for everything that happens in your life; it’s all an experience. Roy T. Bennett

How do some people get old and bitter and some get old and better? Some are wonderful to be around. They have the best stories, make us laugh, and are encouraging, uplifting, and kind. We love to spend time around them. When we call them we are willing to talk to them as long as they will talk to us.

Other people are like storm clouds, raining down criticism, complaints, and ready to erupt into thunder and lightning at the slightest prompt. I feel blessed that Mom and Dad were of the former, not the latter. Although as my sister and I chatted on the weekend we talked about how Dad could erupt and we were shaking and walking on eggshells when he was back to smiley and happy.

Everyone can and maybe even should lose their temper on occasion. There are circumstances that call for reactions that are more than raising eyebrows. What we don’t want to be is in a constant state of discontent.

What did we think our life would be like at our stage in life? Some people appear to get more out of life at every stage. They don’t seem surprised when winter comes, they prepared for it, and when spring comes they are prepared for that.

I have enjoyed Joel Osteen’s book “The Power of I Am.” Is there anything new in this book, of course not? It seems to me we find new ways to destroy our lives but not new ways to build good, happy, productive ones. That is old knowledge, widely available to all who will listen, search, and read. People might not think they have the choice to be sweet or curmudgeonly, but I think it’s a choice. I hope I’m making the right one.

Dad lost most of his right hand in a farm accident. He could have been bitter, but I believe he was grateful knowing he could have died. When we live with gratitude we look at things differently than when we live without gratitude. If nothing is ever good enough, no one is honest enough, or does the right thing then as Jim Rohn says, “That’s all you’ve got.” I don’t think we should overlook when things are going in the wrong direction but complaining about them doesn’t do anything.

Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart. Roy T. Bennett     

We need to know what we can do, who we can influence, and then we have to get out of the way and let them do it.

There are periods in history that would have been horrible to live through. There must still have been people who lived with a cheerful heart, and a grateful spirit. Our choice to take charge of our life with our thoughts, behavior, and attitude is what we can do.

Sometimes the only thing we have power over is how we react to things. We may have to be okay with not seeing things the same as other people. Can we be content where we are even if it isn’t where we thought we would be? We may have to be content with the person we married, not the fantasy of who we thought they were, or who they would become. We have to be content with ourselves, our faults, weakness, and foibles.

If we live with a curmudgeon, it is a challenge, and if we are the curmudgeon we are a challenge for them. They are one of our challenges in life, and we are theirs. What if living with a grateful heart and a good attitude is how we pass the tests of life? What if every dream we have were to come true, and it affected our happiness quotient by zero? More money, fame, children, grandchildren, and our party getting in power wouldn’t change how happy we are? That’s a sobering thought. If nothing changes our degree of happiness except ourselves then we could choose to be happy any time in any situation. We have to deal with what we have to deal with but does worrying do anything but steal our joy.

How much joy do we have in our life? Are we taking every opportunity to bring joy and wonder into our lives? Do we see every sunrise, sunset, shooting star, rainbow, and the Northern Lights, as opportunities to be inspired?

When we look in the faces of those we love, do we realize how lucky we are to have them in our life? Does our fear we could lose them spoil that? We don’t all have the same blessings in our lives. Maybe we all have the capacity to feel blessed regardless of what those blessings are. What if that is what is important?

Do we look at our lives and see what is right, or what is wrong with it? When I draw and it doesn’t look right I have to adjust my perspective, when I get the perspective right the picture comes together. Our attitude is our perspective. The only person that can adjust our attitude is ourselves. What if the words we put after I Am can change our life? Are we getting better or bitter?

The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are. The more present you become. Robert Holden

The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now. Oprah

Let a series of happy thoughts run through your mind. They will show on your face. Norman Vincent Peale

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back again and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture.

Thank you to those who buy and read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link below and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.