Posted on by BWThomas

Everyone is writing a book, are you? Are you worried you might offend someone?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one day have the potential to be comic stories the next. Nora Ephron

Last night at Toastmasters one of the new members has written four books. I’ve written three, and another lady is taking a course to help publish hers. We had this conversation when there were only a few of us in the meeting. Everyone has a story to tell and maybe the more people tell their stories the more we will understand each other.

What if we could understand people’s thoughts and feelings stated in their own words? If we could understand how they believe things they’ve done, said, left undone, or unsaid were interpreted or misinterpreted. Would we be so quick to label them as this or that?

Joe Rogan comes to mind. We can listen to his conversations because he has a podcast and he’s had it for years. He discussed a word that is forbidden to say and he is now in trouble. I don’t believe we should live in a country and interact with people and some people can say something others cannot. Now, I know people do say things amongst themselves and that would be fine. But, this word is in the songs our children sing, but they can’t sing the word. We have to be absolutely crazy to think this is OK.

Don’t use the OK sign while you complain because that supposedly has connotations and overtones. We may not agree when people stand up for something that it is exactly what they are standing up for. We don’t understand other people’s sensitivities and what is important to them. Being told, “you have to or else,” is a red flag to some, and good behavior to others. Who is right, who is wrong? What happened to agree to disagree, what happened to the middle way?

The role of the writer is not to say what we can all say but what we are unable to say. Anais Nin

I said to my husband yesterday, “We both believe in the concept of equality, we don’t agree with what that is.” Equal opportunity, versus equal outcome, who is right? How can we ever get an equal outcome?

Back to writing books. If each of us writes a book, about one in ten or even less is likely to make money. Sometimes what makes money is seen as a commercial success that doesn’t have as much merit in some people’s eyes as what they consider, “True Art.” Some people would prefer to be seen as, “The true artist,” others would prefer to make money. I don’t think being a commercial success makes you less of an artist just because it’s a commercial success, and just because you aren’t a commercial success doesn’t make it, “True Art.”

There are many gray areas in life, and if we want a successful, and mostly harmonious civilization we will have to live with a lot of gray areas. We will have to accept that even the most well-intentioned people can be awkward and have their words misinterpreted. Staying away from difficult conversations doesn’t make a better civilization. It doesn’t work in families, communities, or countries. Perhaps we have to have the right to feel offended, but does that mean we can take away the freedom or livelihood from those who offend us?

I have a book called “Unoffendable” and I think the more we try not to take offense in life the better our life will be. We now have micro-aggressions people are complaining about. I absolutely believe they occur; some people live their life in a passive-aggressive mode because they aren’t powerful enough to be assertive or aggressive. People aren’t perfect, the stoics wrote about what we are dealing with as people, the bible and other books talk about it. The human condition and coping with the slings and arrows of life is what we have to deal with.

Society will never be perfect because it is made up of people. We may prefer unemotional robots, but we have to deal with people and their imperfections. One of the ways to have an unhappy life is to have unrealistic expectations, and be upset when others don’t live up to them. We can work on ourselves and we will never reach perfection, but trying to fix other people doesn’t work at all.

I usually write about things that frighten me. Otherwise, what’s the point? Kafka once said we need books not to be entertained by them but for them to be like an ax on the frozen sea of our souls. David Grossman

People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument. Will Rogers

If your everyday life seems poor to you, do not accuse it; accuse yourself, tell yourself you are not poet enough to summon up the riches; since for the creator there is no poverty and no poor or unimportant place. Rainer Maria Rilke

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and make a purchase I receive a percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Self-expression helps us feel capable and lovable does this lead to self-esteem?

Self-expression helps us feel lovable and capable does this lead to self-esteem?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature. Dale Carnegie

I did get my second novel Secrets and Sorrow published in print on Amazon on February 1, 2022. The EBook will be available on February 5th. There was a time when I agonized about whether I should self-publish or try to publish at all.

I know a lot of people look down on people who self-publish, but unless we are a big name or get paid a huge advance for our book we aren’t getting a lot of money put into it to promote it. We still have to be the ones building our readership. If that’s the case why not take full control?

Writing a book is not a sure-fire way to fame and fortune but it does lead to an interesting life with doors opening because of the book we never thought might open. As a speaker we are a little more interesting, someone might want to interview us. Some authors will even become paid speakers.

When we take a chance on ourselves, build the business, create something, find a niche and carve a place out for ourselves our lives take on a dimension they didn’t have before. It isn’t only about the money although if money comes our way it is usually something we are grateful for. The big payoff is our self-development. We become more of who we are meant to be.

There was a time when artisans and creators created everything one at a time. There was no mass production, no big factories. Mass production has done a lot for society but in the history of mankind has only been around for a short time.

What a company like Amazon does for someone like me is give me a place to sell what I’ve created. It is offering this to lots of creative people to market their creations. Technology is giving us opportunities if we take advantage of them. There are so many ways we can develop ourselves, our interests, and our talents. I don’t advocate being a starving artist; I didn’t take that route myself.

There is an idea out there that we don’t need a huge following to make it as an artist, singer, writer, or any other creative endeavor. The idea is if we can get one thousand true fans we can turn our art, writing, or another enterprise into a viable business.

If we’re really committed to growth, we never stop discovering new dimensions of self and self-expression. Oprah Winfrey

The idea is not to make it big on one record, book, or idea but to build a body of work and an audience over time. The best way to do it may be to build a life that pays the bills in another way and have the creative pursuits not have the heavy burden of paying for our livelihood. We hear multiple streams of income are the way to build a great life. The more streams of income we have coming in the less dependent we are on any of the streams, and the more financial stability we can build into our lives.  

If I had to do it over I’d build multiple streams of income early, but we all are where we are, and we have to do the best with what we have. It’s not like multiple streams of income is a new concept but we did what a lot of people do. We thought we would get to that next year and our next years have caught up with us.

Yesterday I read a post that said our best and most productive years are between 50 and 80. Unfortunately, a lot of us are just getting to the best years of our lives when we retire. Sometimes retirement gives us opportunities but sometimes we buy the idea we are old and a has-been, of little worth with not much to offer. We have what we’ve always had to offer if we will offer it.

My aunt lived until 97 and said, “I’m going to live until I die.” She meant she was living with passion and purpose. I think she still bowled into her nineties. She took up figure skating as a senior. Life will be over one day, for all of us, but we can make the most of it while we can. What is calling out for us to express? Do we want to paint, write, quilt, build something, or grow something? Whatever it is if we find a way to bring it into our lives even in some small way, a dimension will be added to our life that may pay dividends we can’t even imagine.

Self-expression is a vital part of understanding life and enjoying it to the full. Oliver Bowden

Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment. Pearl S. Buck

Art is a platform where self-expression should not be limited. I’m here to inspire. There is no age-limit to that. Shania Twain

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come again and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program

Posted on by BWThomas

Knowing what we can control and operating within our sphere of influence leads to the good life.

Operating within our sphere of influence and knowing what we can control leads to the good life.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Don’t let the things you can’t control affect the things you can control. Unknown

How much of what we do or don’t do is controlled by fear? When does it hold us back from things we want to do, be, have, or become?

I’m on the verge of releasing the sequel to Secrets and Silence called Secrets and Sorrow. I wonder, but try not to worry about how it will be received. It won’t make a ripple in the ocean of books available, but it is a big thing to me. It is another accomplishment and if we keep adding accomplishments to our life we end up with full rewarding lives.

We don’t get to control what others think of us or our work, but we can control our work to the degree we can. We can control our attitude and our actions. How others treat us, what they think of us, if they help us or try to hold us back we have no control. In many cases, people have the power and control over us we give to them. If we have a boss that doesn’t see our potential and appreciate our contribution we can get another boss or start our own company. Instead of holding us back their negativity towards us may spur us to develop a life that is better.

Some people in their early lives were told they wouldn’t amount to much and instead of letting that kill their spirit they used it to spur them on to show that the person who said it was wrong. It is probably true whether we think we can or we think we can’t accomplish something, we are correct.

Many of us want things we can’t control and that is futile. We are not in control of whether we live a long healthy life although we can do things to make it more possible. We are not in control of whether we get rich or famous although once again we can do things that might make it a possibility. We are not in control of whether people like us, approve of us, want to be our friends or our life partners. Here again, we can do what makes it more likely by doing our part to be good friends, potential life partners, and do our best in our work.

You can’t control other people. You can only control your reactions to them. Unknown

There are things in life we have absolutely no control over, things we have some control over, and things we have complete control over. Too many of us spend our time worrying about things we have no control over and little time thinking about what we have complete control over.

Some people may take this to mean they should not keep informed about world events. There is a difference between being informed and railing against what we can’t change to such a degree there is no energy to look after what we have complete control over.

Some writers have used this time of angst to write and publish books; some say the angst and turmoil have made it so they can’t write. If we want to influence things on a greater scale we need to work from our positions of influence. We need to start with what we can do. Many people who become influential never set out to become influential they set out to do the best they could with what they had. They built up their life to such a degree that others looked at them and said. How did you do that? We want you in politics, we want to read your book, and we want to know how you could accomplish so much.

Lots of people want to be rich and famous but these are by-products, not the end themselves. We become rich because we do things that help other people and they pay us and we help more people and more people pay us. Singers and songwriters become rich because we love their music and buy their songs to enrich our lives. Sports players are the same providing entertainment. People buy our books for the same reason, to have something to read. Sometimes we buy a book to have it on our bookshelves even if we don’t read it. I have The Complete Works of Shakespeare and I would thumb through it more but the print is so small I need to buy another one I can actually read.

We have so much that is possible in this life if we concentrate on what we can control, what we can somewhat control, and leave what we can’t control alone. As we look after the first two we might even become one of the people whose sphere of influence grows.

Don’t worry about what you can’t control. Our focus and energy need to be on the things we can control. Attitude, effort, focus – these are the things we can control. Tim Tebow

One of the most rewarding and important moments in your life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change. marcandangel

Never regret being a good person, to the wrong people. Your behavior says everything about you, and their behavior says enough about them. marcandangel

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Philosophy of life, do we have one? Does it bring us joy? Are we willing to do what it takes to live the good life?

Are we willing to do what it takes to live a good life? Philosophy of life, do we have one? Does it bring us joy?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Bertrand Russell

My son got a book for Christmas “The Daily Stoic” by Ryan Holiday. I was looking for a new book to read before bed and pulled out “A Guide To The Good Life” the ancient art of stoic joy by William B. Irvine.

When I checked on Amazon “The Daily Stoic” was on sale so I quickly bought it and to my joy, it arrived yesterday. It is 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. I was able to catch up so I am on the right day today.

I love daily meditation and wisdom books. The book of Proverbs in the bible is full of wisdom and someone recommended reading it as a monthly meditation. There are so many books of wisdom and we can access them easily. We have the opportunity to read what the great thinkers have written. How blessed we are.

When the stoics were around in Greece and Rome there’s was not the only philosophy of life. In fact, reading last night Seneca’s brother Gallio is mentioned in Acts 18: 12-16. Even if someone only looked at the Bible as a philosophy of life it is a good one. One of the big secrets in life is there is no secret, no hidden information only open to a few that keeps the rest of us from living the good life. There may be hidden information only a few know but it may be hidden in plain sight.

What is a good life? Is it a virtuous life, a meditative life, a loving life, a forgiving life, a joyful life, an active life, a life pursuing our dreams and goals? From what I understand the Stoics believed in all this and they also believed we should be as happy when things are going well for us as when they aren’t. Joy is a state of mind, happiness comes from within and our circumstances don’t make us a better or worse person. Our thoughts, our actions, and our beliefs color our lives but who we are and who we can become is not set in who we were born to, the circumstances of our birth, our bank balance, or social standing.

Today as always these are important truths to instill in our children and to embrace ourselves. We have thousands of years of wisdom to build our lives on, we have philosophies and belief systems to choose from, and if we choose wisely they probably all lead to the good life.

The best reason for adopting a philosophy of life is that if we lack one, there is a danger that we will mislive. William Ervine

The thing that draws us to people who we see living the good life is their good life. We want what they have; we want a strong character, faith in ourselves, and humanity. Haven’t we all seen faces filled with joy, not someone preaching their faith but living it, and we know they have something that sustains them not because they tell us they do, but because it is evident in their lives?

We may not be willing to do what they do to have what they have, but we can at least recognize they have it. No one I know who has what I’m talking about is keeping their beliefs or practices a secret. Some want to push their belief system on us without us asking, and the reason they do this is that they think if we knew what they know, what it has done for them, we would get on board.

Envying people with belief systems and faith is a bit like envying the fit person. We know what it would take to be fit but we aren’t doing what needs to be done and until we decide we are willing to do it, we only look on. If we decide to embrace exercise and fitness often we are now willing to tell everyone what a difference it has made in our lives and wonder why we didn’t do it earlier. What we thought would be too hard to do, becomes easy as the rewards are so great.

I believe there are many roads to the good life. There may be trails, that lead to paths, leading to roads, leading to the good life.” We may think we have found “The Way” at points in our lives and find our thinking changes and we embrace something else, a different religion, a new way of thinking, acting, and carrying ourselves in the world. One thing I believe is “We will be known by our fruit.” If we have a philosophy of life be it a religion, practice, or belief if it is good our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren will benefit from it.

How great is it to know that the good life is open to all of us? We get to choose it, search for what will lead us to it, and practice it. It isn’t the circumstances in our life, or who our parents are, or how impressed others are with us. This is open to all of us, the great and the small.

The good life comes with a price, as does everything in life. We reap what we sow, and if we don’t like what we’ve been reaping we need to plant a new crop to reap a new harvest.

To live a good life: We have the potential for it. If we can learn to be indifferent to what makes no difference. Marcus Aurelius

A good character is the only guarantee of everlasting, carefree happiness. Seneca

We are not given a good life or a bad life. We are given a life. It’s up to us to make it good or bad. Ward Foley

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase a product I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Relationship Kintsugi mends the broken places with the gold of forgiveness and acceptance. Do you have a Kintsugi relationship?

Do you have a Kintsugi relationship? Relationship Kintsugi mends the broken places with the gold of forgiveness and acceptance.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. Bryant H. McGill

On Tuesday I went with a friend to our Horticultural Christmas meeting. We haven’t met in person for almost two years. We didn’t have any guests – not even a guest speaker, but one of the members put together a slide show of what’s been happening with the society and its plantings since 2019. A member was gifted a collection of garden books and brought in the ones she didn’t want, and they were on sale for a dollar.

Beautiful hardcover books, I bought four, and one of them is Tasha Tudor’s Garden. You may know who Tasha Tudor was but I did not. She was an eccentric children’s book illustrator who died in 2008. She was as famous for her eccentric way of living as her illustrating. She lived as if it was the 1830’s. She grew her own flax, weaving it into linen, she grew the wheat for her bread, milked goats, and according to reports was very self-sufficient. She chose to live this way, she was born wealthy, married, had children, divorced, remarried, and left an estate of two million dollars at age 92.

In a day I learned a lot about Tasha Tudor, she sounds like an amazing eccentric woman who lived life on her own terms. When she died she left almost all of her estate to one son and the other three children battled over the estate for two years coming to an agreement just before it was to head to court. It seems to me, one’s will is one way to put all of our children on an even footing. It might not be true that the one that receives the bulk of the estate was favored but it looks that way to anyone looking on and especially the other children.

Coming from a family where fairness was the order of the day. When we were given candies as a child each one got the same amount. When you come from a big family, parents have to work harder to be fair. If you put the chips or candies in a bowl the big kids would get all of it.

I don’t think wills are a time to equalize things between children. Betty did better in life so she doesn’t need anything, but Jimmy hasn’t so we’ll give it to him. All that does is destroy any relationship Betty and Jimmy have after you are gone.

People disappoint us. Tasha Tudor and Thomas Kinkade haven’t lived up to the way their life was portrayed. There is a cautionary tale for all of us, we can only control people’s perception of us to some degree and I understand one of the quotes Tasha Tudor quoted was Mark Twain’s, “We are all like the moon with a dark side no one sees.”

It is a good thing to realize that no matter how well we know someone we don’t know everything about them, even people we live with surprise us. We are much more complex, no one is all good, or all bad. We tend to idealize the famous as if they figured things out better than we have. We all struggle in life, we all have weaknesses and strengths, and there is not a perfect one among us. We do well to remember that no matter how much we think we know about someone it isn’t everything, and what we don’t know could surprise us and change our view of them. What we don’t know about ourselves can change our view of ourselves, and we have to forgive ourselves and others for not being perfect.

We do have a dark side, some call it our shadow, and some call it the devil. One of the problems with idealizing someone is we often don’t see or acknowledge all of them. Idealization is putting them on a pedestal, we don’t do well on pedestals, and when we fall off that pedestal which we probably will because we are human. Someone who only wanted perfect us may forever be disillusioned. Is it a bad thing to lose an illusion we never should have had in the first place?

No one in this world is pure and perfect. If you avoid people for their mistakes, you will be alone in this world, so judge less and love more. Unknown

Many of us are ashamed of our imperfections, we wish we were perfect, but the character doesn’t come from perfection. I think it comes from dealing with our imperfections in a positive way. When we say a smile, floor, or antique has character we mean it has flaws but is still beautiful. When we talk of people with character often they have overcome things in positive ways and this is how they developed character. They become strong in the broken places, they overcome adversity, and they get up more often than they fell down.

One of my favorite quotes is, “Perfection is enemy of the good.” We can be good people, parents, employees, business people, citizens, sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, friends, but we will not be perfect and that has to be okay because it is what it is. We will always have problems in life if we can’t accept the reality of what is. If it is, then that’s what we have to deal with, not what we want to deal with, but what is there to be dealt with.

Growing up on a farm was a lesson in reality. The weather didn’t always cooperate, animals died, prices rose and fell. Mom and Dad always said anyone could make money on paper, but dealing with the realities that life hands you can eliminate that paper profit in a hurry.

One of the important lessons in life is to persevere because perseverance is what often leads to success. Talent is great, luck is nice, but perseverance is when you don’t give up when things aren’t going your way. Perseverance gets us through the hard times to the good times. There are always good times ahead, followed by bad times. If we can’t get through the bad, we don’t get to the good. If we only want people in our lives when we think they are perfect, when they are on the pedestal we put them on, they will not be part of our lives forever. Something will happen to shatter our illusion, an illusion we should never have had.

Are we okay when our prince becomes a frog, our princess becomes a nag, our passion becomes work, or our job becomes a drag? If we can’t live with the realities of life, we will become disillusioned and bitter, but if we accept ourselves and others, warts and all we will continue to see the beauty and character in others as they and we become antiques.

There is a practice called Kintsugi or Kinsukuroi (golden repair or joinery) the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, this treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.

This is a great metaphor for life and something we should do in our relationships. If we can mend our broken relationships we can make them even better and more valuable than they were. Perhaps this is why a golden anniversary is fifty years. By then any relationship has gone through many stages and if it has reached this stage the fractures are mended with gold. If we are lucky enough to have long relationships many of them are probably Kintsugi relationships, it wasn’t that there weren’t any problems, fractures, or brokenness, but that we mended them with the gold of forgiveness and acceptance.  

A relationship gets stronger when both of you are willing to understand mistakes and forgive each other. Unknown

Forgiveness is the oil of relationships. Josh McDowell

Whatever you’ve done before, accept it and let it go. You are not perfect. You are capable of making mistakes. Stop hiding from the shadows of the past. Don’t be trapped in the darkness of shattered memories. Let the light pass through and shine upon you. Forgive yourself because it’s the only way to start again. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives of posts click on the picture, and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Stealing like an artist, remixing old ideas. Find your voice and you find yourself.

Find your voice and you find yourself. Stealing like an artist, remixing old ideas.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

There is no such thing as a new idea. Mark Twain

What a glorious weekend for a hike. The trees are ablaze in all their autumn glory. The sky was a certain shade of blue, the air crisp and invigorating.  About twenty-five of us went for a lovely hike on Saturday morning. We were home by lunch with the rest of the day spreading before us.

Yesterday I met a friend for tea and signed my children’s book she’s giving to nieces and nephews and one for herself. I found a beautiful children’s book at Value Village yesterday. I’m collecting them for reference on color schemes and how they are illustrated.

There is a phrase, steal like an artist. It means we get inspiration from other people’s work and incorporate those ideas into our own original work. We might find a great color scheme from one and a rhyming scheme from another. We might look at how people are depicted and how trees and landscapes are rendered.

Van Gogh’s Starry, Starry Night is one I used in my children’s book. The idea behind stealing like an artist is to honor, study, steal from many, give credit, transform, and remix. If we degrade, skim, steal from only one, plagiarize, imitate, or rip off then we are not doing it right.

I don’t know if how I used Van Gogh’s Starry, Starry Night passes the test. In my own mind, it does and people who read the book will make up their own minds. We may not know what, “Finding our voice” means, but over time we develop a style that is our own. We might not even realize it is happening but there becomes cohesiveness in the colors we choose, the way we depict trees, rocks, or people, and how abstract or real we depict our subjects.

When we are in the creative process things will jump out at us that we can add to our work. Instead of creating a tree from our mind, we find a tree that has an interesting shape. When we use reference material instead of just our imagination we are more likely to get it right. It is hard to imagine how folds of fabric fall, and paint them in a believable way but when we look at a reference photo we are more likely to render it correctly. Our reference library can become quite large. We want to be able to look up how a cardinal’s feet grip a branch, or how they would sit on someone’s hand. Even with reference material, we may not get it correct, but we can figure out what isn’t quite right. Sometimes we can fix it in that painting, sometimes we have to do another painting which still might not be quite right because getting things perfect is difficult.

Find your voice, shout it from the rooftops, and keep doing it. Dan Harmon

Perfection is the enemy of the good. If we strive for perfection often we will give up, we will never publish the book because it will never be good enough. We all have to decide when something is “Good enough.” Then we can move on to a new project.

A life of creativity is about change. We move forward, take chances, and explore new frontiers. We try new recipes, we find new fabrics for our quilts, we find something new to explore in our painting, we discover new plants to grow in our garden, and we can take photos of new vistas. Living a life of discovery and adventure is not about the big things. We can find a new hiking trail in our own backyard. We don’t have to lament we can’t travel to far-flung places. We can cook with new spices, or maybe it’s time to go back to our roots and rediscover the food we loved as a child.

Life is a journey we need to keep growing, developing, and finding joy in what is before us. We all have the sun shining on our faces, the wind blowing in our hair (If we have hair), and stars and the moon above us. Beauty and bounty are all around us. Inspiration is everywhere. There isn’t enough time to do everything. We can create what calls out to us to create, admire what calls out to be admired, and be grateful for what we have and who we are.

Life is a journey and we can choose to enjoy the scenery along the way.

Work is never finished, only abandoned. Paul Valery

It’s all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. Susan Sontag

A lot of people are so used to just seeing the outcome of work. They never see the side of the work you go through to produce the outcome. Michael Jackson

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives of posts click on the picture, and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books, and a special thanks to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link below and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Go with the flow. Stumbling on happiness and trusting the process of life.

Stumbling on happiness and trusting the process of life. Go with the flow.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Go with the flow. Force nothing. Let it happen… trusting that whichever way it goes. It’s for the best. Mandy Hale

My flurry of work on “When Can We Get A Puppy” is finished. I hit publish on Friday and on Saturday the print edition was live on Amazon. I can’t wait to get a printed copy in my hand.

In order to have the printed edition available when I said it would be I published it without seeing a second author’s proof. When we finish a project it leaves a void in our life. Do we take a break or do we start another project right away? Taking a break is scary because it is working on a project when the creative juices flow. I have a rush of ideas now that I have been working so hard on creating the paintings for “When Can We Get A Puppy.” If I take a month or two off will that inspiration dry up?

I have a feeling it will. I am in motion now, but if I stop, inertia sets in, and it will take a lot more to start up again once stopped than to stay in motion. When I took the break to go see Mom in August it didn’t interfere with my work because I was still engaged in my projects, but taking a long break at the end of a project I think would be different.

It is why when I published Secrets and Silence I started working on Secrets and Sorrow without a break. Once I get into a project it seems I can take some time off or slow down. I’ve found through my years of painting that completing a project and cleaning up the studio without starting something new often led to a longer break than I planned. Get the next one started. Starting is sometimes the hardest part.

Don’t over-think things. Go with the flow. See where it takes you. Love is unpredictable, you know.  Unknown

Over the weekend I archived the paintings for, “When Can We Get A Puppy.” At Michael’s, I was told wax paper is suitable to separate the paintings. I made a wax paper sleeve for each painting and have a 14-inch x 14-inch plastic box used for scrapbooking to store them in. This way I can sort through the paintings without touching them. The paintings, even the ones I didn’t use will be stored together and I will put a copy of the printed book in the box. Creating systems is one of the things we have to do to keep our lives organized and storage of crafts, art, projects of any kind is a challenge.

I went looking for a Liquitex product I love but when I looked at the array of products on the shelf it didn’t seem to be there. On Google I found out the product’s name has been changed but not the product itself. When I bought it at the art store the young man at the cash said he didn’t know that, and he uses the product as well.

When we find products that work it is sad if we can’t find them again. I made the mistake of using another product and wasn’t as happy with it but in the middle of a project, I didn’t want to change in case it would be noticeable. Starting a new project with Liquitex Gloss Medium which used to be called Liquitex Gloss Medium and Varnish gives me a lift. Fighting to get the results we want makes things harder.

I learned a lot creating this children’s book and one of the biggest lessons is we don’t know what we can do unless we do it. There are a good number of beloved children’s books illustrated by the author. When you think you are finished you might only be partway and you don’t know what it will look like until you call it finished. At some point, we have to say it is done because there is always one more painting to make or one more line to change. Setting a goal is powerful. Meeting a goal is one of the best feelings in the world, but when you put your work out into the world you are left with a void you might not expect. There is a bitter-sweetness to ending a project you’ve poured your heart and soul into. I didn’t expect that, I thought it would be all joy.

I feel the best in the midst of creation that is when I get into the flow. Ending that flow is when the emptiness comes. It is why starting a new project is important and soon I will be in the flow again. Writing and illustrating bring my two loves together and my husband said to me, “I think this is your better book.” I think it is too.

Life is a journey, we learn as we go. Often we stumble upon our happiness. We didn’t know what we were looking for until we are in the midst of it. It is one of the reasons life plans don’t work out, we don’t know what is around the corner or the next bend, but if we ride the waves of life it can be a wild ride indeed.

Sometimes in life, there’s no problem and sometimes there is no solution. In this space – between these apparent poles – life flows. Rasheed Oguniaru

Not everything will go as you expect in your life. This is why you need to drop expectations and go with the flow of life. Unknown

We can learn a lot by watching how water relates to the world around it. It goes around any obstacle in its way. It flows downstream rather than struggling to push upstream as many of us are doing in life. It just goes with the flow. Perhaps that’s why watching the action and rhythm of water is so peaceful. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come again and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the bottom.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to everyone that leaves a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the picture below and purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Finishing what we start. It will be what it will be, and we have to be okay with that.

It will be what it will be and we have to be okay with that. Finishing what we start.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

If you are brave enough to start, you’re strong enough to finish. Gary Ryan Blair

Do you cringe when you see a picture of yourself? On Tuesday I had an interview with the Art Gallery of Mississauga and they were taking pictures. The photographer said he would send me some I could use as the picture for my new book.

When I saw the pictures I thought of the line in the song, “The sun in your face really shows your age.” It might not be possible to get a picture of myself I like because maybe I want to look like someone else.

They say smiley author’s photos are for less serious authors, and who wants to be thought to be one of those? Resting bitch face is a real thing and when I see it on my own face, wow! How do people take beautiful pictures even when they are not young and beautiful? Would black and white photos work better?

Getting professional photos taken is something I’ve been putting off. I need to get them done but this book will have the same photo I used for Secrets and Silence. My husband read it yesterday and he pointed out a verse I left out. How did I not notice that? My soon-to-be daughter-in-law noticed a name not capitalized.

How you start is important, but it is how you finish that counts. In the race for success, speed is less important than stamina. The sticker outlasts the sprinter. B.C. Forbes

It feels good to complete a project. Something that’s been simmering for years finally comes to fruition. What I’ve realized in this whole process is the biggest challenge was to make the decision to set a goal and work toward it. We may not know how we will get to that goal or what the finished product will look like, but we have to keep trying this and trying that, seeing what works. Serendipity works in our lives and the course with the Art Gallery of Mississauga came at the right time for me. Being part of a class, seeing what others were doing, what the facilitator and speakers she brought each week were accomplishing encouraged me greatly to continue with my project, and meet what seemed like an impossible deadline.

In my interview on Tuesday, I got emotional as I talked about what I got out of the course. I struggled with the demise of the collaboration between who was to have been the illustrator and myself. If I was doing the painting then there was nothing to offer him, but he invested quite a bit of time and effort into the project. We’d been meeting for months and he helped clarify my vision. I felt bad after investing all that time and effort he got nothing out of it.

The project was once again all mine, could I do what I set out to do? Then when I thought I was finished my daughter told me I needed more paintings. I’m glad I listened to her. I’m blessed she was honest and didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. “I love it, it’s great,” isn’t as good of feedback as, “You Know what would make it better?”

We aren’t the same person when we complete a project we were when we started. When we started we didn’t know if we could complete it. We didn’t know what it would look like, but if we keep working toward our goal it will become something.

It started out as a story about a dog that ended with a family losing their beloved pet. It ended up being the joyous event of getting a puppy. A series is being born in my mind as the puppy and family have many, many adventures. The goal of publishing a children’s book was a challenge set last year. It has turned out to be one of the most enjoyable projects I’ve ever completed. It brings together my two loves, writing, and art.

We don’t know what we can accomplish until we set out minds to something and work at it until it is finished.

Starting strong is good. Finishing strong is epic. Robin Sharma

Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they start. David Allen

The strength and clarity of the picture you envision at the start will tell you when you are done. You are finished when you have said what you wish to say, when nothing added can make it better. Richard Schmid

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the picture below and purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Collaboration is powerful. Two heads are better than one even when partnerships don’t work out.

Two heads are better than one even when partnerships don't work out. collaboration is powerful.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Teamwork is the secret that makes common people achieve uncommon results. Henry Enoch Onuoha

Going for a walk this weekend required a jacket. The crisp air, blue sky, and the company of my daughter and our dog made it fun. We have a little pond we love to walk around. There are benches if we want to sit and watch the birds. We love walking but don’t make time for it often enough. A walk by myself is enjoyable but with others, it becomes even better.

Yesterday I painted the last painting for my children’s book. As I patted myself on the back and was wrapping things up for the evening  I decided I will paint at least one more to replace the painting that was to end the book. When I finish this one will I look at others and think I should repaint, compose differently, change the colors, or refine the details?

There are some really great blogs on illustrating children’s books and one of the things they are telling me is don’t depict exactly in the pictures what the words say. Use your pictures and your words to tell a bigger story. In small picture books of only 32 or 36 pages, this makes sense. I looked at a picture book of my daughters and in it, the author says a new puppy and the old dog touched noses and that is what the picture depicts, but I think it works. The new puppy is a tiny Dachshund and the dog they already have is a huge Great Dane.

We might not even know what makes our kids or ourselves gravitate to certain books. My youngest sister tells me she tried to get her daughter interested in Pete the Cat books when she was younger. Her daughter wasn’t interested in them even though my sister was.

I’ve taken a few trips to Indigo and some of the children’s books are beautiful. Can books be too beautiful for us to want our children to handle? Well-loved books will end up looking like well-loved toys. To see what books parents are buying and kids are reading I go to Value Village.

Authors are not encouraged to illustrate their own books. Some publishers don’t want books that rhyme. When my daughter gave me advice on my book as someone who reads a lot of books to preschool children she said to include lots of pictures, lots of colors, and make it rhyme. When she looked at what I put together, she said,” Mom, you need more pictures.” I’m also getting feedback from my son’s fiancé a teacher who reads books to her students.

I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things. Mother Teresa

Creating this children’s book has been fun and very intimidating.  I didn’t know where to start until I started trying to tell the young man who was going to illustrate it in Illustrator what I wanted. I could clarify my vision when trying to tell him what to do, but when it was only me I struggled. In the end, our collaboration fell apart, but I owe him a huge debt and without our collaboration and monthly meetings it wouldn’t be where it is today.

I can see the value in a more talented illustrator doing the illustrations. Illustrators aren’t cheap. Of course, no one knows what kind of sales a book will receive so making back that investment is a gamble. I understand with the big publishers the writer and illustrator don’t meet and the writer doesn’t have control of what the illustrations for their book will look like.

This may make for a better book. The illustrator’s concept may be much better than what the author would come up with. I like the idea of collaboration and I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it is. When we put our heads together who knows what we will come up with. It is hard to bounce ideas off of a wall. When another person bounces ideas to us and us to them, clarity emerges, and something small can grow into something bigger.

What is the role of co-creation and collaboration in our daily work?

Collaboration divides the task and multiplies the success. Unknown

Collaboration allows us to know more than we are capable of knowing by ourselves. Paul Solarz

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. Desmond Tutu

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

Thank you to those that read my books, and a special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads or Amazon. If you click on the picture below and purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Starting and finishing. Creating habits and moving in the direction of our dreams.

Creating habits and moving in the direction of our dreams. Starting and finishing.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The bookends of success are starting and finishing. Decisions help us start; discipline helps us finish. John C. Maxwell

Have you ever thought you have finished something and found you just started? We get people in our office doing a complete renovation and addition who say, “We were just going to renovate the bathroom.”

Some people start a weight loss and fitness journey that changes everything about their life. Starting something puts us on a path that may not lead where we thought it would. This works in negative and positive ways.

There is truth to the “Bet you can’t eat just one” potato chip line. There are people who start their fitness routine promising to do one push-up per day. When they are already on the floor they often do more than one. When we need an hour and a half for a fitness routine we might wonder when we will fit that in. One push-up, we can do after we brush our teeth before we get dressed. Even if we only do one push-up a day it is still 365 push-ups we wouldn’t have done.

In many areas of our life, we can make small changes and small changes lead to big things. The Fly Lady tells us to clean up our clutter in fifteen minutes. Set the timer and do what you can in fifteen minutes. She has us do it in a different area of the house every day. The idea is to develop a daily habit, that doesn’t take too long, fits into our lives, and makes things better.

Good habits make it so we don’t get up in the morning and wonder what we’ll do first. We automatically reach for the toothbrush. We could also do that push-up or a downward dog before we get ready for the rest of the day. A routine lets us not have to think about what we are doing next.

We don’t want our life so regimented we have no free time and we don’t want so much free time we have no routine. If we want to change our lives in a big or small way it will usually come in the form of a habit we develop or eliminate. Trying to change too much at once for some people might be hard other people might want to make a big change all at once instead of incremental small changes.

In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently. Tony Robbins

We live our life by what we do daily. When we want to change things it may help if we have something that triggers our new action. When I started writing I did it after I put the kids to bed. The “kids” of course grow up so that only worked in the early years. Now I write in the morning.

My leg is bothering me, I don’t know why. “Last night my kids said, “You haven’t been to the gym in a year and a half. Maybe that’s the problem.” It might be too much sitting. I’ve spent even more time sitting as I’ve gotten my children’s book ready for publication, and I have until the end of September to submit the final edition. But, I need to find more time for exercise. I think that is what my leg is telling me.

Having a deadline is helpful. Without a deadline, I aimlessly drift along. With a deadline, I accomplish more than I thought I could. Sometimes we set impossible deadlines because we want to cram more into a year than is possible. If we take a longer view we’ll find Bill Gates is right. We overestimate what we can accomplish in one year and underestimate what we can accomplish in ten years. Is this why we are told to have five-year, ten-year, and even longer goals?

Is there something we want to start? Is there something we need to finish? Are we a new habit away from moving in the direction of our dreams?

Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most. Abraham Lincoln

First, forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you are inspired or not. Octavia Butler

You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of success is found in your daily routine. John C. Maxwell

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day, filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads. If you click on the picture and purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.