Reaping and sowing. We reap what we sow. We plant the seeds and watch them grow.

We reap what we sow. We plant the seeds and watch them grow. Reaping and sowing.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Life is like a garden, you reap what you sow. Paulo Coelho

One of the things my oldest sister has always said is, “If we put all our problems on the line with everyone else’s we’d take our own problems back.” It might be the same with success.

If we knew the choices someone else had to make to become the success they are would we do what they did? I was listening to one of my favorite speakers Jim Rohn yesterday. He was talking about what he learned about building a Network Marketing Business part-time.

He learned he could work at his day job to pay the bills and part-time he could work at becoming wealthy. He learned there is a ratio of success. If he could get ten people out to meetings one would join his organization. When he got better two would join his organization, when he got really good three would join his organization. Everywhere we look we have the law of averages and we don’t have to hit every ball to have a good batting average. We have to take the chance. Wayne Gretzky said he missed every shot he didn’t take.

Life isn’t different for us even if we think it is. Jim Rohn talks about the law of sowing and reaping. We all know we can’t reap what we don’t sow. Some of us would like to reap what someone else sowed. That doesn’t work very well. We can’t reap happiness if we sow anger, disrespect, and discord in our marriage.

He tells us that if we are a sower with good seed and a diligent sower some of that seed will be eaten by the birds. Should we run after the birds and leave our seed, and our sowing. NOOoooo! We should keep on sowing. The birds will get some of it but they won’t get it all. Some of our seeds will fall on rocky ground. It will sprout but the first hot day will kill our little seedling. Our seeds will bear different amounts but we shouldn’t worry about that. We need to let our seeds mature into what they are going to be.

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. Robert Louis Stevenson

This is a metaphor for our lives. As long as we live we need to be sowing and reaping. We will have good years and bad. Life is always opportunity mixed with difficulty. Sometimes it’s more difficulty and sometimes it’s more opportunity. For things to change we have to change. He tells us not to wish life was easier but to wish we were better. We need more skills to deal with the problems in our lives, and we need more wisdom to deal with the challenges. This applies to all areas of our lives, our relationships, opportunities, and finances.

I was one of the seeds that fell on rocky ground in Network Marketing. I’ve always liked the Rah, Rah of it but I’ve never stuck with any of them. I didn’t build my part-time business until now.

Writing is now my part-time business. When I fill out my income tax this year I will have “Royalties” to add as income. I have one book published, I am writing another, and after that another, and another. We never know where life will take us. We don’t know what seeds planted today will bear fruit in the future.

When we find something we love to do it isn’t only about the money. Sometimes it seems we are made to feel ashamed if we want more money. Don’t we all want more money if we are honest with ourselves? Isn’t prospering one of the blessings we hope to get in life?

Getting more isn’t the problem, throwing someone under the bus to get more, is. Taking what someone else has is the problem. When we build a business often we provide something that helps someone else and a lot of little businesses can create a prosperous town or city. Prosperous farms feed the people in prosperous towns and cities. Prosperous towns and cities create a prosperous country. Prosperous countries create a prosperous world. Artists, athletes, writers, and entertainers, who don’t provide the necessities of life only do well when the society is prosperous enough to support them.

We live in a prosperous society but not everyone is prospering. Is there a way to build our society so everyone prospers? Is there a way to make our relationships better? How is the law of sowing and reaping working in our lives?

The natural principle of sowing and reaping is always at work. Whatever you plant, whether physical, spiritual, mental, financial, relational, or emotional, will grow and someday return to you in a multiplied fashion. It can be incredibly good or terribly bad, depending on your seed. Paul J. Meyer

Every day you make a choice either to sow some of your seed or to eat it. When you exercise faith and sow, you release God’s law of prosperity. When you give in to your fear and eat your seed, or hide it, you release God’s law of poverty. John Avanzini

They who sow courtesy reap friendship, and they who plant kindness gather love. Saint Basil

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

See all 2 images


Follow the Author

Dwight Lyman Moody+ Follow

Sowing and Reaping Paperback – Oct. 15 2020

by D. L. Moody (Author)4.7 out of 5 stars 62 ratings


 See all formats and editions

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    5 ratings

See all formats and editions

Patience is not passive. Patience may be the ingredient we need in our lives to make everything work out for the best.

Patience may be the ingredient we need in our lives to make everything work our for the best. Patience is not passive.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Patience is not passive, on the contrary, it is concentrated strength. Bruce Lee

We want things to happen now but we have to be patient. Being patient is hard. When we paint our nails, not letting them dry before we start doing something often wrecks our nails.

We are painting our kitchen cabinets white. To practice, we are doing a test on bathroom cabinets. The prep is important to a nicely finished paint job. They must be degreased, sanded, and primed. The primer needs to dry for 24 hours. When I realized I missed some spots on the drawers. I should have waited another 24 hours to let that primer dry, but I didn’t have the patience and I hope I don’t end up looking at that spot on the drawer as a reminder to be more patient. I wanted the first coat on so I could do the final sand today and apply the second coat. I am hoping I don’t need three coats of paint.

Choosing the white paint to paint white cabinets was a huge decision. White is white, right? No, definitely not, what undertone do we want our cabinets to have? My sister, “The Kitchen Whisperer” tells me she has clients call her up and tell her they didn’t get the right color of cabinets. She has even looked at the cabinets in their kitchen and agreed until she compares what they got to the sample and it is the correct color. It doesn’t look like what they thought they were getting under their lighting and the other colors in their home. The direction our windows face will also color our paint color.

Decorators talk about warm whites think yellow undertone, and icy whites think blue undertone. I finally chose Chantilly Lace, an icy white. The kitchen is now painted Hawthorne Yellow and the trim is Hi Gloss Manufactured White. The Chantilly Lace looks exactly like I want it to with one coat of paint on the doors. I can’t wait to see the doors with the second coat on. This is where patience comes in. I was going to go with a warmer white but next to yellow that might not have looked white enough. So far I am happy with my color choices.

Our patience will achieve more than our force. Edmund Burke

Color is important and we feel better surrounded by color. All white homes are a trend right now that doesn’t appeal to me, although in pictures they do look beautiful.  When I see white sofas I shudder to think what they look like after they’ve been lived with for a while. I always feel better when I wear certain colors. Orange/Red is one of the colors I often wear on zoom calls. I look better on zoom in orange/red than any of the other colors I wear. A friend had her husband paint their garage door in three different shades of Hunter Green. I don’t know if she was finally happy with the color or if he refused to paint it a fourth time.

My daughter wonders what color battles might be in her future. Her husband likes grey and she loves color. Creating a color scheme for a home is a huge decision. We have to live with our, and sometimes someone else’s choices for years. Colors come in and out of style but we aren’t changing our flooring to match trends. The choice of the aqua carpet when we bought this home is still a choice we live with on the second floor. Some day it will be gone but it is a process, a long-drawn-out process.

The process of painting the kitchen cabinets might try my patience but in the end, if they look as good as I think they will it will be worth it. It’s amazing what a little paint, patience, and perseverance can do.

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble. Plautus

Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind. David G. Allen

Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is “timing” it waits on the right time to act, for the right principle and in the right way. Fulton J. Sheen

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Power of Faith, Patience and Perseverance by [Justin Vedasiromony]

Power of Faith, Patience and Perseverance Kindle Edition

by Justin Vedasiromony (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition


 See all formats and editions

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    5 ratings

 See all formats and editions



Taking the next step. Moving forward with courage, perseverance, and hope.

Moving forward with courage, perseverance, and hope. Taking the next step.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

There are no wrong turnings… Only paths we had not known, we were meant to walk… Guy Gavriel Kay

Last night the speech contest went ahead with no technical difficulties. I was one of four contestants. The other contestants each presented interesting, touching, heartfelt speeches of overcoming, dealing with, and getting through the challenges of life and coming out the other side better.

When we compete in anything we are competing with ourselves. Did we do as well as we could have? Are we proud of our performance? When we step up, enter a contest, and show up we are accomplishing something. It is easier to not bother, but we don’t get growth from not bothering.

The winner from last night came in third last year but someone kept dropping out and she kept moving on to the next contest. She got to the Division Contest where she also came in third. The Division Contest last year was the last contest before Covid closed everything down. This year we will be rooting for her to go farther.

This year the contests are on zoom and we don’t get the energy from the crowd we get in an in-person contest. At these contests, we hear stories of what people have had to deal with and overcome. People have been brought to their knees and when we hear their story we wonder if we could have handled it as well. We hear stories of courage and perseverance.

Telling our stories can change our life, and Toastmasters helps us tell our stories. Someone said, “When we find our voice, we find ourselves.” How powerful is that? We all have stories to tell. We may not have the heartbreaking story someone else went through but when we hear their story we can be grateful, inspired, and hopeful that people are strong, resilient, and courageous.

There’s no time for regrets. You’ve just got to keep moving forward. Mike McCready

We don’t know what we will have to face in our lives, but knowing what others faced, and how they dealt with it can help us in our time of need. We may think back on a story we heard and their experience may give us strength. In any good speech, there is a message, something we can take away, and think about.

Today I am richer for participating in the contest. When we get a chance to add a little excitement to our life by entering a contest we should do it. We often think we need big accomplishments to grow but big accomplishments are comprised of small steps that build toward something. Even writing my book isn’t a big accomplishment. It is a series of small accomplishments, one word upon another word, one chapter added to another, without all the small accomplishments there can be no big accomplishment.

One of our contestants is a medical student. That is a number of small accomplishments just to get to medical school and he has many more steps to become a doctor. Why are some of the greatest speaker’s ministers? They give speech after speech every Sunday honing that skill. Practice, perseverance, and moving towards a goal will push us forward.

Martin Luther King Jr. probably didn’t set out to give one of the most memorable speeches in history; he probably just set out to give a speech. We don’t know what will happen when we show up. Who we will encourage, how we will impact others, and what forces may be put in action.

A big part of life is showing up and doing the best we can in the circumstances we find ourselves in. One of our contestant’s quote was, “This too shall pass.” This is true of our opportunities and our challenges. We must make the best of where we are so tomorrow is at least as good as today. If we are lucky we can make tomorrow better. Is failure or making things worse our biggest fear?

We regret what we don’t do more than what we do. The only way forward is forward. Are we ready for the next step? We can only change directions going forward, we can’t correct our course when we are standing still.

Sometimes a catastrophe is simply a course correction. James A. Owen

You can’t have a better tomorrow if you’re always thinking about yesterday. Unknown

Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer. Denis Waitley

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate link.

See this image

Take The Step, The Bridge Will Be There: Inspiration And Guidance Paperback – Jan. 3 2012

by Grace Cirocco (Author)4.1 out of 5 stars 11 ratings

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    4 ratings

 See all formats and editions

Polite and powerful. Is this asking for what we want in a direct polite manner?

Polite and powerful. This is asking for what we want in a direct polite manner?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are. Roy Bennett

Can we learn to be polite and powerful, and if we do will it make all our relationships better?

One of the areas in our lives we struggle with is our relationships. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all got along, understood each other, communicated directly and honestly? In the book, “The Power of Positive Confrontation” author Barbara Pachter tells us we can be polite and powerfully change our communication pattern.  She tells us we must learn to WAC’em. What does WAC’em mean?

W is what is bothering us. We need to be very clear that what we think is bothering us is really what is bothering us.

A is what do we want the other person to do or change?

C is we must check in with the other person by asking something like, okay?

One of the ways we feel bad about ourselves is when we haven’t confronted people we believe we should. We didn’t stand up for ourselves, ask for what we wanted, or communicate directly about something important.

Barbara Pachter tells us that polite confrontation can change our life because when we ask for what we want, we have to know what that is. When we tell someone what is bothering us we have to have figured out exactly what that is. Part of the problem in our lives is we don’t know and haven’t acknowledged what the problem is, and we don’t know what we want the other person to do. We often don’t know what we think we should do.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. Josh Billings

When we get clear about what we want, and clear about what we think should be done by the other person, then asking for what we want politely and powerfully is the next step. Often people would give us what we want if they knew what it was. They would do their best to make us happy if they knew how. If we figure out what we want we can do our best to make our own lives better, and the lives of those around us.

Are there any downsides to being polite? One of the biggest problems we have plaguing relationships is people feel disrespected and this means they feel that people in their lives are not polite enough. I am guilty of this. I don’t always give my husband my undivided attention when he is speaking to me. I have to stop myself from multi-tasking and continuing to work as he talks to me. I need to give him my undivided attention and listen to what he says because when I don’t, he feels he isn’t as important to me as what I am doing. Of course, that isn’t true. He should know I am just trying to be efficient. But, do I really get that much more done? Wouldn’t it be better if I just stop what I am doing and give him my undivided attention?

Radically respectful and politely powerful are behaviors we can cultivate in ourselves to make our relationships better. We are the only people who can change the things we want to be changed. We need to treat others the way we want to be treated and even if it doesn’t work the way we wanted we have taken the high road.

The high road isn’t an easy road, but I believe it leads to easy relationships with others. The art of tact and diplomacy is being polite and courteous. One of the problems we have with our “Political Correctness” is that it is often not polite. We have always had disagreements on how society should be run, and instead of being a polite society, we have become a politically correct and often rude society. I think we should get back to politely talking about our differences and agreeing to disagree. Is there power in politeness and should we be using it more in our lives? Are we powerfully polite and radically respectful?

Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength. Eric Hoffer

A polite enemy is just as difficult to discredit, as a rude friend is to protect. Bryant McGill

Courteousness is consideration for others; politeness is the method used to deliver such considerations. Bryant H. Mcgill

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with graitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click onthe picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

See all 3 images

The Power of Positive Confrontation: The Skills You Need to Handle Conflicts at Work, at Home, Online, and in Life, completely revised and updated edition Paperback – July 1 2014

by Barbara Pachter  (Author)4.3 out of 5 stars 42 ratings

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    3 ratings

 See all formats and editions

Are we all hypocrites? Is it impossible to live up to our own expectations?

Is it impossible to live up to our own expectations? Are we all hypocrites?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest. Mahatma Gandhi

Perseverance is the key to success. We need to persevere as we find our way through hard times, build a career, business, and family. Most long marriages are an example of perseverance, of not giving up on each other or themselves as they navigated through whatever life threw at them.

I found a quote the other day that went something like this. Tough times create tough people, tough people create good times, good times create soft people, and soft people create tough times. Is there a balance or are we always cycling between cycles?

Already in my lifetime, we have cycled through a few cycles. I was reminded of this when a Writers Group buddy posted on Facebook about the Christmas she was six and her family had moved into a house they later lost when interest rates skyrocketed in 1979.

Many industries face cycles of crisis, the weather creates havoc and pandemics can involve the whole world. We are putting our faith in a vaccine to stem the pandemic and I bet even those of us who said, “Not me,” might have had enough of this, and if it gets our life back to normal, and we can travel to see loved ones. We will step up for, “Our shot in the arm.” This is where I am at least.

Even though we believe in persevering we still need to heed knowing when to hold-em,  fold-em, and when to run. Do we hold onto that job because it’s a job instead of building that business? There are marriages that should be left. There are times when persevering is a way of not facing the future’s reality. Knowing when we have hit that crossroad and redirection is needed instead of persevering in what we’ve been doing, is a hard call.

Sometimes never giving up can make us look foolish. It might not always be clear to outsiders why someone continues on against all odds. What is it that they see, believe, and think can happen why they don’t do what everyone else feels is the right and honorable thing to do?

Avoid the base hypocrisy of condemning in one man what you pass over in silence when committed by another. Theodore Roosevelt

We don’t know what goes on in other people’s heads and sometimes it seems we don’t even know what is going on in our own mind. We wrestle with ourselves on what direction to take, how to spend our time, and what we make important in our life. Our choices become the sum of our life. If we aren’t happy with the life we have we probably have to look at our choices.

It is so easy to look at someone else and say, “My life would be so much better if you would…” It might be true, but that isn’t what we get to control. We get to control our reactions, our decisions, where we put our energy and resources. Often the more we try and control other people the worse it gets. They dig in their heels because to do what we want them to do, is to be controlled. When we release control they can choose to do what is the best thing to do out of their own free will and voila, a win for everyone.

There is a big difference between trying to control someone and enabling them. If we have situations in our lives that need to change we need to figure out if we are trying to control someone, we are enabling them, or if the one that needs to change is ourselves.

We may think we know the direction someone should take but we should heed what Jesus said, “Or how wilt thou say to thy brother. Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye, and, behold a beam is in thine own eye.” It is so easy to see what changes and improvements someone else should make, but not so easy to see the improvements we should make in our own lives.

Are we hypocrites seeing how someone else should act and change, instead of looking at ourselves?

If we don’t keep trying, we’re Latter-Day sinners. If we don’t persevere, we’re Latter-Day quitters. If we don’t allow others to try, we’re Latter-Day hypocrites. LDS quote

If you define hypocrite as someone who fails to perfectly live up to what he or she believes. We’re all hypocrites. Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to him, but he deals with it. So should we. Jeffrey R. Holland

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate link.

Why Everyone (Else) Is a Hypocrite: Evolution and the Modular Mind by [Robert Kurzban]

Follow the Author

Robert Kurzban+ Follow

Why Everyone (Else) Is a Hypocrite: Evolution and the Modular Mind Kindle Edition

by Robert Kurzban  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

4.4 out of 5 stars    69 ratings
Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    3 ratings

One step in front of another gets us to our goal. Then we need a new goal.

One step in front of another gets us to our goal. We need a new goal then.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

If it’s important you’ll find a way. If it’s not, you’ll find an excuse. Ryan Blair 

Yesterday I got an email from Amazon telling me that “Secrets and Silence” is now published in paperback. In Canada, we can’t get a proof before publishing. We have to wait until we have published and then purchase an author’s copy to see what it actually looks like in print. My husband purchased a copy and it should be arriving on September 5th-8th.  I can’t wait to hold a copy in my hand.

To be honest, I thought being published would feel different. There is a feeling of emptiness in releasing our work out into the world we might not expect. It is not ours anymore; we are not still crafting, editing, tweaking, and polishing. It is not still full of possibilities, it is what it is. It is done and all the time we spent tweaking, editing, and polishing we need to put into another project, our families, or something.

My two younger sisters and I have a pact that we will each publish a book next September. It is time to make things happen. Now that I realize how user-friendly publishing on Amazon is, and that an Indy author can be just that. We don’t have to pay other people to format it for Amazon Kindle Publishing, the tools provided are easy to work with.

There are many companies willing to work with authors to help them publish their work. If you have been wondering if you can publish your novel, children’s book, or cookbook, etc. without them you absolutely can. If we do it ourselves as Indy authors the quality control of our work falls squarely on our own shoulders. The point I’m making is it can be done and the publishing part on Amazon was not difficult. I was very intimidated by it, but in the end, it was very straight forward. I followed the formatting guidelines and used kindle create to produce the interior of my novel then uploaded it to Kindle. They even have a cover creator tool which I didn’t use.

A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being. James E. Faust

In case you are like me, worried about this step in the process, don’t be. We need to write the best book we can and find people we respect to help us edit it. We can use Pro-writer as an editing tool, publish as an Indy author if we want, or look for a traditional publisher. Writing our book is the hard part, getting the words right, saying what we want to say eloquently, succinctly, and compellingly. Producing a good read is not about publishing.

Becoming a published author is just like any other accomplishment. We then must look around for our next project, challenge, or goal. I have already started on my next project and I am so happy to have the next project to start. If I didn’t know what my next project would be I think I would feel lost and adrift.

We may wonder how prolific authors write so many books. They finish one and start another and they keep doing that until their library of work is impressive. They say we often overestimate what we can do in one year, but we underestimate what we can do in ten years.

The life we are building is our own and we have more control over what we want that life to be than we often think we do. Twenty-four golden hours each day is what we have to work with, and what we do with it, is up to us. Is it true, we can if we think we can?

Make each day your masterpiece. John Wooden

Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future. Oscar Wilde

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. Zig Zigler

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition


 See all formats and editions

Life is making decisions. The better we are at making decisions, the better our life will be.

The better we are at making decisions, the better our life will be. Life is making decisions.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

All my life, whenever it comes time to make a decision, I made it and forget about it. Harry S. Truman

It all starts with a decision. Most of our life is because of the decisions we have made. If we want a different life we are going to have to make different decisions. Nothing happens until something happens. We can spend our lives revising and editing but never actually do anything with our work. We can say we are trying to build an audience but unless we have something for people to experience there can be no audience. 

We can have all kinds of excuses for why we are not ready to do something. How many years can we tell ourselves and others we are still editing our novel? We are still practicing, we are still just dating, we still want to start that business but the time isn’t right.

There will be no perfect time to get married, have a child, publish a book, launch a band, start a business, or buy a house. We have now and there is a beginning, middle, and end-stage, and when we get to the end stage of something we need to get ready to launch. Once we launch whatever it is often we need to go back and repeat what we’ve done only faster this time.

Life is full of ups and downs, we think something is a good idea and then we rethink, and we can think ourselves right out of pursuing success. We are never guaranteed success but life is fuller if we have dreams and goals we pursue and see where they go.

If we have zero book sales, and we then publish a book it has potential. If we don’t publish the book it has zero potential even if it is the greatest book ever written. What would a flop look like? Most authors don’t sell more than five hundred copies. Being an author is not about becoming rich and famous, although a few will, and why not us?

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we feel we must do something we must do it. If we sing, write, or create anything we need to do it because it feeds our soul. Once we have completed it, why not share it with the world? We may touch someone’s life and as long as we keep our day job what is the downside?

If we never finish our first project we will not move onto the next one. What if it is the tenth project we put out that will touch someone? What if that tenth project is never put out into the world? What if that person is never touched?

We need to utilize our potential. What good is unutilized potential? No matter how good and productive we are we will never use up all of our potential. We don’t know what we are capable of, and we won’t know if we don’t take a chance and do what we know we must do.

There is a still small voice that whispers to us, do we listen? What if no one throughout history listened to that voice and none of the discoveries or inventions were made? We have the lives we have because of the chances people have taken to try new things, make things better, and invent things that didn’t exist before.

In the middle ages, the thinking of the time was that everything that could be known was known. When we look around we may wonder what is there still to discover, invent, and create. We won’t know until someone discovers it, invents it, or creates it, but when they do it will be evident to us that it would be discovered, invented, or created.

The novel I have been working on for years is going to be published on September 5, 2020. It is pre-released on Amazon. I made a decision and I can now move forward.

Is the person we need to take a chance on, us? Do we have something we want to do, but we hesitate, waiting for… what?

Remember, a real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided. Tony Robbins

Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made. Robert H. Schuller

On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn of decision, sat down to wait, and waiting died. George W. Cecil

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Secrets and Silence: The Truth Will Set You Free by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Secrets and Silence: The Truth Will Set You Free Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition


 See all formats and editions

The truth is the best argument. We are all capable of making the winning argument.

We are all capable of making the winning argument. The truth is the best argument.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A relationship with no arguments is a relationship with a lot of secrets. Unknown

Yesterday I went to one of my favorite haunts Value Village. I told myself I went to look at books to see if the books that appealed to me the most had long or short chapters and chapter titles or just numbers. I’m reading online that short chapters are like potato chip chapters. When we are reading we sometimes look at the length of the next chapter before we quit reading. If the chapter is short we say just one more then I’ll stop. We can read until four in the morning by reading one more short chapter. Chapter headings can entice our readers into wanting to know what comes next.  

Last night I finished making my scenes into chapters and giving each a title. I now have 84 chapters and my plan is to read each chapter aloud and record it one last time looking for errors and then get it ready to put on Amazon. It’s exciting and terrifying.

In my search for books, I came across one yesterday How to Argue and Win Every Time by Gerry Spence. Of course, I bought it along with five other books. I try to limit my purchase to five books because if you buy four the fifth one is free – so why not get the free book and I usually want more than five. Yesterday I had my five and then I found a book on writing The Writer’s Journey by Christopher Vogler. It went in the cart too. When I got home I found a different edition of the book on my bookshelf but somehow I like the one I just picked up better.

We are living in a time when we need to communicate more about important things but we are making people who make even the small misstep in speech seem like they are pariahs of our society. Not talking about the big problems we have is not helpful. When people cannot vent their feelings, concerns, problems, and fears they often come out in other more destructive ways.

In a book, I read that parents should overlook the language their children use to keep communication lines open. All we need to say is “you can’t say that in my house, or don’t use that tone,” for the conversation to be over. We often have to have long conversations about seemingly nothing before we get to the nugget of truth that needs to be dealt with, understood, or examined. It is why long car rides are good for conversation. After we get through the easy topics in the dark we often talk about more important and personal subjects.

One of the reasons YouTube personalities seem to be doing so well is they talk and they are willing to talk about important and controversial subjects.

When we don’t get our feelings out into the open it doesn’t get rid of the feelings. Those feelings remain seething underneath and cause harm.

Be calm in arguing for fierceness makes error a fault and truth discourtesy. George Herbert

In Gerry Spence’s book How to Argue and Win Every Time he says during infancy and adolescents, the winning argument will already be made. The child will seek his or her freedom and become a butterfly or an ugly moth as they exit the cocoon.

The winning argument will have been love, the losing argument discipline. The winning argument will have been respect, the losing argument manipulation. The winning argument will have been honesty, the losing argument hypocrisy. The winning argument will have been freedom, the losing argument control. To give to the world a child who is capable of joyously blooming is the gift of the successful parent.

We need to figure out how to make people feel loved instead of disciplined, respected instead of manipulated, embrace honesty instead of hypocrisy and freedom instead of control.

One of the things we need to do is listen to what people say and try to understand what they mean even when we don’t see things that way at all. Last night talking to my husband I said one of our problems is we talk about things but we don’t agree on the definition of what we are talking about.

We will make mistakes when we are raising our children and when we are having discussions with people about contentious subjects. We will not always do things that look 100 percent fair from every angle. People are not interchangeable cogs each person is an individual with strengths and weaknesses and we may not all agree about what are the strengths and weaknesses of an individual.

Any parent of more than one child knows that we can’t always treat each child the same. What works for Johnny might not work for Sarah. Sometimes what is effective is expecting more than what someone thinks they can attain but when they attain it they are grateful. A low expectation of our children is unlikely to turn them into the butterfly we and they would like to see them become. Some children are early bloomers and some are late bloomers. We need everyone doing their best in the garden of life to create a good society. It is every generation’s responsibility to build on what has already been accomplished.

We will not be perfect parents, citizens, employees, employers, or spouses but we can do our best to improve our lives within our sphere of influence. Are we willing to have long difficult conversations and arguments that lead to peace and understanding?

Silence is argument carried out by other means. Unknown

A great relationship is about two things, first, find out the similarities, second, respect the differences. Unknown

We understand that we have differences but we also respect the fact that if you focus on the things we have in common you can build a relationship. John Howard

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture, and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

HOW TO ARGUE AND WIN EVERY TIME by [GERRY SPENCE]

Follow the Author

Gerry Spence+ Follow

HOW TO ARGUE AND WIN EVERY TIME Kindle Edition

by GERRY SPENCE (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

The Golden Rule is the best way to live. Is it also what will heal our society?

The Golden Rule is the best way to live. Is it also what will heal our society?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Golden  Rule

We don’t want everyone to look at everything we do in the worst way, and yet don’t we do that to other people? What if we tried to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes? What were they thinking that made them act in that way?

One of the things we all know is if we are going to change our lives for the better, no one else is going to do it for us. No one will fix our problems but ourselves. Psychologists are paid to try to help people take charge of their lives and to change in big and small ways.

One of the problems with blaming others for our problems is that we give them our power. We are waiting for them to change so we don’t have the problem anymore.

If we learn to treat other people the way we want to be treated can we defuse situations? Some people believe it is the only thing that can. Aristotle said if everyone treated everyone as friends we would have no need of government. When instead of turning others into friends we turn them into enemies we have a bigger problem than we started out with.

Haven’t we all heard stories of friends who become friends because of a fight they had when they first met? Could that even happen today with our bullying rules? One of the things we need to do if we are going to live by the golden rule is refuse to get angry. When we allow people to make us angry they win. Sometimes they enjoy seeing us go crazy time and time again as they push our buttons. The antidote is to not react when they push our buttons and then it isn’t any fun for them and we win.

I found The Golden Rule Solution to Racism (as applied to Anti-Semitism) by Izzy Kalman Nationally Certified School Psychologist on the internet. He teaches the Bullies2Buddies system which he created. His aim is to teach individuals to stop being victimized in their personal and work relationships without having to resort to help from the government or lawyers. At his seminars, he demonstrates through role-playing how these same Bullies to Buddies principles can be used to handle prejudice.

We have committed the Gold Rule to memory; let’s commit it to life. Edwin Markham

Except: Bullies to Buddies The Golden Rule Solution to Racism (as applied to Anti-Semitism) by Izzy Kalman

Law Versus Psychology  

What is the main reason for the inadequate progress in reducing prejudice? It’s that we’re trying to solve a psychological problem with a legal approach. The predominant belief in the social sciences is that prejudice exists because the majority population uses its power to create a political system that supports them and keeps weaker groups suppressed. The weaker groups are therefore victims – “the good guys” – and the powerful are the perpetrators – “the bad guys”. A legal solution corrects this unfair situation by passing laws protecting the weaker groups and forcing the stronger to compensate them for having made them suffer. The responsibility is put solely on the powerful side – the perpetrator. No requirements are made of the weaker side since they are the innocent victims.

This legal process is essential for society. However, it is not sufficient. Laws can prevent people from acting badly, but it cannot legislate what people feel and think. Law cannot make people respect each other and want to be friends. Interpersonal relationships is a psychological function, not a legal one. There is a fundamental difference between the legal profession and the psychological profession. In the legal view, when a crime has been committed, one side is the victim and the other side is the perpetrator. But psychology is supposed to be scientific. Science is not about who is the good guy and who is the bad guy. Science is about understanding objective reality, figuring out how things work, and making changes if possible.

If I am a psychotherapist and you are my client, my job is to help you figure out how you are causing or contributing to your problems and to lead you to a solution. If I am holding someone else responsible for your problems, how can I help you? I have to work with the other person and make them change. On the other hand, if I am a lawyer and you are my client, my job is to hold someone else responsible for your problem and sue them and make them pay. If I am holding you responsible for your problem, I am not helping you. I am working against you. You should fire me and get yourself a good lawyer.

The legal and the psychological roles are therefore diametrically opposed. The legal profession needs clients to see themselves as victims so that someone else can be held responsible; that is how lawyers make their money. Psychology is supposed to get clients to stop seeing themselves as victims and to solve their own problems. But the legal profession has gotten increasingly involved in the mental health professions – and at our own request. For decades we have been actively lobbying for laws to protect victims from abusers and bullies. We have been fighting for laws against inequality. In essence, we have been acting as though the goals of the legal profession and the mental health professions are identical. In reality, they are opposites.

When we combine law with science, science becomes less objective. It becomes less about understanding what is really going on and more about who is the victim and who is the abuser or perpetrator or bully. And victims, of course, are blameless. They have no responsibility to do anything about their situation since it isn’t their fault. Furthermore, when law is combined with science, law takes over. The legal system decides what we are allowed to do and how we’re supposed to do it. If you have to make a decision between doing what you believe to be scientifically correct and doing what’s legal, you had better do the legal thing or you are going to get into trouble. And that is what is limiting the modern approach to discrimination. We are treating the problem like a legal one, in which the victimized minority is encouraged to complain to the courts and the evil majority has to reform itself and make restitution.

Unfortunately, the legal approach doesn’t make people love each other. If I take you to court for being mean to me, is that going to make you like and respect me? Of course not! You will hate me even more and completely lose respect for me. You will also hate the legal system as well. So you will want to get back at me and the system. The only way to get past this brick wall is by realizing that the legal approach that puts all the responsibility on the powerful side and makes no requirement of the weaker is not going to work. If we have to wait for society to get rid of “power differentials” in order for us to be happy, we are going to be miserable forever. Only when we understand that we have something to do with our situation is there any chance of meaningfully achieving good relationships among people.

Izzy Kalman has a few rules we should follow to turn Bullies into Buddies.

Rule 1: Refuse to get angry.

Rule 2: Treat criticism as the words of your best friend.

Rule 3: Don’t be afraid. Fear is felt toward enemies so when we fear someone we have turned them into an enemy.

Rule 4: Don’t defend yourself. Instead of defending yourself make the other person feel heard.

Rule 5: Don’t attack. When we attack we have turned someone into an enemy because we do not attack friends.

Rule 6: Show you are hurt, not angry. When someone hurts us we want them to feel sorry and to apologize to us. Anger brings out anger. Once the other person gets angry they feel we should feel sorry and apologize.

Rule 7: Don’t tell on bullies. It is unlikely we will turn a bully into a buddy after we get them into trouble with the authorities.

Rule #8: Don’t be a sore loser. Life is like a game. No one wins all the time. But if we go into a rage, stay bitter, and try to get back when we lose. We lose triply. Once – when we lost the game. Twice – we lose respect by getting angry and looking like an idiot. Triple – our loss becomes perpetuated as we continue suffering once the game is over. No one likes a sore loser and no one will want to play with us again. Except perhaps to get us into another rage and have us look like a bigger idiot again.

Is living by the Golden Rule an experiment we should try?

Practicing the Golden Rule is not a sacrifice, it’s an investment. Byllye Avery

Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given. Unknown

I have something that I call my Golden rule. It goes something like this: ‘Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you.’ The twenty-five percent is for error. Linus Pauling

See all 3 images

The Golden Key and Twenty-Two Additional Essays Paperback – Oct. 27 2015

by Emmet Fox (Author)4.8 out of 5 stars 68 ratings



Desire and expectation. Do we desire what we expect, and expect what we desire?

Do we desire what we expect, and expect what we desire? Desire and expectation.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one. Ambrose Bierce

It is said we should never desire a thing we don’t expect to get and never expect anything we don’t want. We need to be definite in our desires and steadfast in our expectations.

How exactly do we manage this? Where does worrying about things fit on the spectrum of desire and expectation? We don’t usually desire what we worry about but we often expect what we worry about to happen which is why we are worrying about it.

Expecting the positive even amid the negative is a challenge to positive thinkers everywhere. It is very easy to fall down the rabbit hole of negative thinking and negative expectation. We worry about the financial fallout of the situation we are in.

One of the things that seem to come out of pandemics is some positive changes. We see things differently. Things we say couldn’t happen that we couldn’t manage, happen, and are managed. We pull together in ways we didn’t think we could. We seem to do our best when we meet challenges. When we face challenges that affect the wider world it may put us at our best.

Leaders are made in times of trouble, they rise to the challenge. Decisions have to be made and they have to make them.

Conspiracy theories abound. Motives are questioned. Is it as easy to believe and expect things to get better as it is to question everyone’s motives and expect things to get worse?

Do some people even living in the same circumstances but viewing them differently have their expectations met? Can we focus on the good or the bad at any time in any situation? Is this how life works? Is it as Shakespeare said, “Nothing is good or bad but our thinking makes it so?”

To succeed in life and achieve results, you must understand and master three mighty forces – desire, belief, and expectation. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

When we desire something we are telling the universe what we want and according to Thomas Troward’s writings, desire is the masculine principle of the creative process. and expectation is the feminine principle of the creative process. Without both desire and expectation, nothing happens.

If nothing can happen without a first cause, a mind thinking a thought we can see how careful we must be about the thoughts we think. Then we must be careful about what we expect.

If we think about positive things but expect negative things it makes sense we won’t get the positive thing we are thinking about. This may be why so many people say I think positive but nothing ever happens. If we expect the rich to keep getting richer and the poor to keep getting poorer and that is what we believe is happening then aren’t we getting our expectation?

If we can’t see our lives improving, our health getting better, our relationships healing, or being able to live below our means, what are we expecting?

When we hear some of the advertisements that are being played saying “We will get through this because that’s what Canadians do.” Isn’t that what we all need to be telling ourselves?

We can overcome and get through this. We can make things better? Can we also prosper, heal our relationships, and live in health?

What do we desire and what is our expectation?

Expectation means that there is a desire and a belief in the same space. Abraham Hicks

Expectation is the most powerful condition that you can accomplish, because an expectation is a holding of a desire, a clear desire, and a belief about the same thing at the same time. Abraham Hicks

Once you choose hope, anything’s possible. Christopher Reeve

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture, and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

See all 2 images

Thomas Troward Complete Collection – Six Books: The Hidden Power; The Law and The Word; The Creative Process in The Individual; Edinburgh Lectures On Mental Science; Dore Lectures On Mental Science; Bible Mystery and Bible Meaning Paperback – May 27 2019

by Thomas Troward (Author) 5.0 out of 5 stars 8 ratings