Celebrating our families, generation to generation. Our families are with us to the end and are our legacy.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Families are like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one. Anonymous

Yesterday we celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday in a restaurant. As a family, we haven’t been out to a restaurant in a long time. We debated which restaurant to go to but my mother-in-law made the final choice. There were nine of us and our four-month-old grandson. We worried about taking him to the restaurant. But, he was wonderful and our server oohed and aahed over him to the delight of his mother and the rest of us. He’s a beautiful baby but he’s ours and we are just a little biased. Another cute baby showed up at the restaurant with his parents. We had to know how old he was and were told he was six months old. He was also very good while his parents ate their dinner.

It is lovely when we can get together and celebrate milestones. We never know when it might be our last chance to celebrate with someone. We need to take advantage of these special moments in our lives while we can. It’s been a lovely year of celebrating for us. We have one more wedding to attend this fall, our friend’s daughter is getting married.

The circle of life continues and watching our younger generation take their place, getting married, and having babies, lets us know that we as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and society in general have done okay. We have challenges before us, every generation has its challenges, the generations before us will have their challenges but we hope they will meet those challenges and life will continue to improve for most of us.

My mother is not one who longed for the good old days. She and Dad grew up in tough times, the thirties, and then their generation went to war. I look back on the life I’ve been privileged to live. It has been a life of peace and plenty, full of opportunities, but often those opportunities weren’t recognized as opportunities when they presented themselves.

Even though we’ve lived through peace and plenty it doesn’t mean it has been an easy road. What does an easy road look like, and is an easy road what we really want? It seems to me what we’ve thought of as success has been just over the next hill, we’ve never quite attained what we would call success, and I am beginning to think that makes a great life.

The greatest legacy we can leave our children is happy memories. Unknown

Working toward something more than actually attaining it may be where the real joy in life lies. How would I feel if I’ve written the best blog post I could ever write, written the best book, painted the best picture, or given the best speech? Mom and I were talking the other day and counting in our heads the number of her grandchildren, great and great, great-grandchildren. We came up with forty-seven.

Mom was visited by her great-granddaughter and her husband, son, and daughter. They had a lovely visit and the kids are old enough to remember visiting their great, great grandmother. Many of us don’t remember our grandmothers let alone great, and great, great grandmothers.

I saw a post on Facebook saying we are burying the people who kept families together. This has always been the case and the torch has been thrown to the next generation to keep the family together. We need to take up our responsibilities to keep our families together so that our children and grandchildren will continue this tradition. Many of our families are smaller now, but a couple of generations fill a restaurant, house, or backyard for a celebration. It doesn’t matter where we choose to do our celebration, only that we do.

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Leo Tolstoy

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. Ann Landers

Family and friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches. Wanda Hope Carter

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Giving and receiving in life and marriage create balance and abundance in our lives.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Giving and receiving are different expressions of the same flow of energy in the universe. Deepak Chopra

The wedding is over, and the marriage begins. A wonderful weekend of festivities is over. My feet are still sore – why do pretty shoes hurt our feet so much?

The DJ played the wrong song for the bride to walk down the aisle. I didn’t notice! She said to herself, pictures are being taken and she smiled and walked down the aisle and now they have a story to tell. One of the things to know in life is it isn’t life going along how we want it, but how we react when it doesn’t that makes the stories.

We went out for brunch with some of her family and had a barbecue with some of ours in the evening. It was a wonderful wrap-up to a beautiful wedding. Perhaps marriages are like birthing a child. They take a gestation period of planning and preparation culminating in a celebration. After going through the whole process we are changed in subtle ways.

After all this our families are joined, my daughter’s parents-in-law came to the wedding and we are going to our daughter-in-law’s sister’s wedding reception in a couple of weeks. The ties that bind are being woven.

Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have. Jim Rohn

We may wish we could stay in a simpler time, a time we liked better, but we are here. Our children have created their own families, and life is progressing as it should. As I write this I am listening to someone talk on the radio about what is happening in Quebec. The French and English were never in an equal marriage even in the beginning. Taking draconian action against the English is not likely to make Quebec a better, stronger, or more equal society.

We are equal as individuals and that has to be good enough. I sometimes think it isn’t but I have to give myself a shake. What other kind of equality is there? My family, scattered across Canada hasn’t had the weight in my children’s life that my husband’s family has. We are more numerous but less present.

Two of my sisters were present at my son’s wedding. It is a blessing my oldest sister flew across Canada to be with us. It was a lot of effort to celebrate with us. My nephew that danced at our wedding, danced at our son’s.

These lovely moments build our lives. Sharing them with friends and family strengthens our bonds and we will share moments and memories over the years. Our little dog was cared for by my friend’s son, another deeper connection.  

The more we put into life the more we get out of life. The more people we love the more love it seems we have to give. The more we widen our circle, the more willing we are to widen it further. The more people’s lives we touch and who touch our lives the more fulfilling our lives are. The more we give, the more we get.

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting. Unknown

A balance of giving and receiving is essential to keeping your energy, mood, and motivation at a consistently high level. Doreen Virtue

Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process. Jim Rohn

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Building a good marriage is one of the highest goals we can aspire to which will reap rewards for ourselves, our families, and society down the generations.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin

It is less than a week before our son’s wedding. It’s taken so long, and it is here so fast. For our daughter’s wedding, we went to Jamaica and it was hectic before we left getting flowers, centerpieces, etc. ready. This time it is a local event so we are not as involved in preparations. We are hosting the rehearsal party at our house and we discussed who would be here and what to serve last evening,

On Saturday two friends and I got our eyebrows threaded and today we are getting manicures and pedicures. I wasn’t going to give a speech, but now I will say grace. My daughter laughs and tells me Grace (my middle name) give a good grace.

It isn’t that I didn’t want to give a speech at my son’s wedding (I’m a Toastmaster after all) but they are not having a lot of speeches and the bride’s mother isn’t giving a speech. My son-in-law said, “I would have lost that bet, I thought for sure you would give a speech.” Now I am saying grace because our dear friend whom we all knew without question would be the one to grace the table, can’t attend.

Marriage is a fundamental institution that brings stability to our lives. I don’t mean you have to get the license and have the party although I think making a statement to yourselves and the community has power. My uncle said, “I don’t need a paper pinned to my bum to know I am married.” I believe that is true, we make the commitment to someone because we’ve made the commitment, and it is making the commitment to live through the highs and lows of life together that is important. My uncle’s wife was with him to the end, sitting by his bedside in a nursing home until he took his last breath. We don’t know what challenges are in front of us but if we have a partner to go through life with I think it is easier and more fun.

Marriages, like a garden, take time to grow. But the harvest is rich unto those who patiently and tenderly care for the ground. Darlene Schacht

Statistics show marriage is an economic win for people. One of the biggest drivers of poverty is people not marrying and staying together. I watch my daughter and son-in-law with their new baby. It warms my heart to see my grandson in his father’s arms. He loves to be held by my husband. Even at this very young age, masculine energy calms him.

We build our lives by the decisions we make and a good life isn’t built all at once with one big decision and nor dare I say is a not-so-good life. If we are making decisions that move us closer to the good, our life will be quite different than if the decisions we make always make things a little worse. We won’t always make the right decision, we will have to do relationship repair, and make u-turns. It may be tempting to think sometimes it can’t get any worse than this, but that is rarely true and a few stupid decisions might show us just how bad it can get.

With gratitude for all the blessings in our lives, we see our son enter the state of matrimony with all the promise that brings. Wouldn’t it be nice if at this wedding some of the single people find a partner? Marriage is not a fairy tale, but having a partner to go through the ups and downs of life with is one of the great blessings we can aspire to.

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry. Tom Mullen

Marriage is the highest state of friendship. If happy, it lessens our cares by dividing them, at the same time that it doubles our pleasures by mutual participation. Samuel Richardson

There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. Martin Luther

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon Affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Spending time with family is one of the great joys in life. We can stay close through time and distance.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A family doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be united. Unknown

Life surrounded by family is a joy. At Easter dinner two places were empty, one was sick and one was working, but our newest member was with us. Babies are so much work and so much fun, and as grandma, I get the fun but not the work.

What a beautiful time to be born with April flowers poking their heads out of the ground. In places where there is still snow – it is the last of it. The other day I saw seeds for sale and I purchased a bunch. My husband asked, where are you planting those. Over the years many of my flowers have died out as trees and shrubs have grown larger.

My garden has been neglected especially in the last few years. If I want a beautiful garden I have to put the work in. A garden is a metaphor for life. I’ve let weeds take over where flowers used to be. I need to find new flowers that will flourish with my shrubs and trees. I should have planted spring bulbs last fall, but I didn’t.

One of the things I want to do this year is to find more balance in my life. I was working very hard on writing and it is necessary to put the work in to accomplish something. But, we also have to find balance in our lives and now I need to find time for a fuller richer life as a grandma.

I expect now I’m getting into the groove as a writer that it will be part of my life for however long I have on this earth. Art and writing are two pastimes I enjoy and enrich my life. Life is what we make it, and making time for all the facets of our life is important. It is not good to focus too much on one part of our life to the detriment of other equally important parts.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.  Robert Breault

Yesterday it would have been so easy to say. I don’t have time to make Easter dinner this year. With all we have going on no one would have questioned that decision. We would have missed out on a lovely evening we shared in the glow of getting together with family we haven’t spent time with for a while and introducing them to the newest member of the family.  It is the last dinner we’ll have with everyone before my son’s wedding.

My son said to me as we cleaned up. “Thanks, Mom, for doing the work to make this happen.” He is marrying into a family that celebrates big and often. As I look back over our life I wonder if we celebrated enough. My friend sent me a picture of her one-year-old grandson with his birthday cake all over his face. She is a first-time grandma and so am I.

Families are fragile things. Our circle can be broken easily and like Humpty dumpty can be hard to put back together again. We watch famous families disintegrate before our eyes, sometimes we watch our own disintegrate and don’t know how to fix things.

Families aren’t perfect, they are always comprised of imperfect people thrown together, stirred and shaken by the winds of fate. We don’t know how our lives will unfold, “Will we be rich, will we be happy, Que sera, sera? The future’s not ours to see. Whatever will be, will be, Que sera, sera.”

What we can do, is gather our loved ones around us when we get the chance. We can make phone calls and stay in touch. We can make the best of what we have. If we do these things then, whatever happens, we will know we did the best with what we had, and live a life of few regrets.

Families are like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions. Yet our roots remain as one. Unknown

If you want to bring happiness to the world, go home and love your family. Mother Teresa

You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them in your heart, your mind, your stomach because you do not just live in the world but a world lives in you. Frederick Buechner

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Parents with newborns are a joy to behold. A new baby is the beginning of all things.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. Jill Churchill

As expected my grandson arrived at 10:30 am on Monday. Visitors are not allowed but he came home the next day and what a bundle of joy he is. He weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces so he is a substantial baby. I pulled out my son and daughter’s baby pictures from the hospital and he looks just like them. I haven’t seen a newborn baby picture of my son-in-law. It will be fun to watch him grow and change over the next little while.

He already has his own personality and if that little face isn’t smiling back at me I don’t know what that is. I’m pretty sure he has a dimple, he’s looking around taking everything in, and he’s very hungry, but is content most of the time. He’s getting enough to eat but he wants to eat often and with enthusiasm.

Our little dog is already concerned when he cries and wants to sit by mom and baby. It is a very special time and we are blessed to share it with my daughter and her husband.

New mothers are kept in the hospital for a very short time and I’m sure it must be overwhelming for some new mothers who haven’t been around many children to bring their newborn home and be totally responsible for this new being who seems so fragile in their newness. Breastfeeding is hard for many new mothers and one of the hardest parts is you can’t say I know he drank four ounces. They have to trust their body and their baby, and we don’t have a lot of trust in ourselves, we want evidence.

My daughter said to me yesterday, “Can you hold him while I have a shower?” Of course, I was happy too, when she came up baby and me, and Lulu the dog were sitting on the couch almost having a nap. One of the mothers at the hospital where they gave birth is probably not having such a serene experience. Her baby cried the whole time they were there.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. Leo J. Burke

I remember when I had my son, he hardly made a peep. One afternoon the nurse came in and woke me, “Aren’t you going to feed your baby?” My son was crying but I’d been listening to a crying baby that wasn’t mine for so long I didn’t realize he was the one crying. All he wanted was food and he was happy again.

Do we put too much pressure on new mothers to breastfeed? I don’t know, I do know it isn’t easy for everyone but when it works it means you always have lunch ready at the right temperature. Breastfeeding is thought by some to statistically significantly lower the risk of postpartum depression. Researchers from Florida Atlantic University’s Christine E. Lynn College of Nursing and collaborators are the first to examine breastfeeding status and postpartum depression by studying a large national population-based database of 29,685 women living in 26 states in the US. Findings showed women who were currently breastfeeding at the time of the data collection had a statistically significant lower risk of postpartum depression. I’ve always thought about this and now there is a study.

My reasoning was, that our bodies control our thinking more than we might like with the hormones they produce, and a breastfeeding baby means a live baby. There is also the effect breastfeeding has on getting our body back to pre-pregnant status. The bond that breastfeeding creates between mother and baby can’t be duplicated with a bottle, and the superior nutrition it provides makes it the best way to feed the baby. Breastfeeding is linked to lower rates of autism. The studies trying to find the correlation between breastfeeding and lower rates of autism haven’t been able to isolate the factor, but they do see a relationship.

Not everyone will be successful in breastfeeding, but it might be so important that every baby should get the opportunity to breastfeed even for a short period of time if it is at all possible.  The colostrum produced before the milk comes in might be so important that every baby should have access to it.

I’m looking for the benefits of colostrum and what comes up is how important it is for a newborn calf. If it is so important for a newborn calf why would it not be equally important to a newborn infant?

Being a new parent is a minefield full of judgment. It is important to do our best but that is all we can do, and we have to be okay with our shortcomings as people and parents. Breastfeeding may be best but it isn’t always possible, hopefully, my daughter can breastfeed until her baby weans himself. We are fortunate to have access to formula to feed our babies if it is required. There are so many “expectations” placed on new parents. It is so easy to let society make you feel inadequate because you aren’t doing what they think you should do, or looking how they think you should look.

As I watch my daughter and her husband with their newborn son my heart is filled with gratitude and joy. How wonderful to see the next generation taking their place as parents. A baby loved and wanted comes into the world and a family is created. It doesn’t get better than this.

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for. Unknown

As new parents, the days may be long, but the years are short. You’ll never look back and wish you held your baby less. Unknown

A new baby is like the beginning of all things – wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. Eda Leshan

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and make a purchase I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Persevere and make your days count. Time marches on, waiting for no one.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

I may not be there yet but I’m closer than I was yesterday. Unknown

Time, we think we have lots until we have none. At the beginning of pregnancy, it seems a long time until the baby will be due, but here we are, my daughter is full term, and I expect to be a grandma within days.

If we look at our tasks like pregnancy and take every day to work toward our goals then we will slowly and steadily reach our goals. One of the mistakes we make is not breaking our goals into smaller and smaller goals until we break them down into what we must do each day to work toward them. If we break it down and do our daily tasks toward them we will get where we want to go.

If we are not working on our goals daily, how will they be accomplished? If our goal is to be healthy, what we eat daily, the exercise we do daily, and our daily thoughts will determine where we end up. Last night at Toastmasters we only had one speaker so the President of the club played the winning speech from the International Speech Contest from 2014. The speaker tells how he was not doing well at seventeen when his father got him a job with a man who said to him, “I see something in you, I don’t know what it is, but if you come and work for me we can figure it out.”

If we are lucky we have been that person to others and someone has been that person to us. “I see something in you.” What powerful words and on the cusp of being a grandma I know words are powerful. I hope that I will have the right words to encourage someone and especially my grandchildren. If we can live our life encouraging others to keep up the good fight, to keep going when they want to stop, to move in a new direction, or to find a direction when they don’t have one. Then we will be a blessing in the lives of others no matter how small a part we play in their lives.

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. Newt Gingrich

How many people have had someone say something to them that made them look at things differently? I had someone say something to me when things weren’t working out well for me when I first left home. “Mom said, “Why don’t you come home?” I was contemplating doing just that when he said, “If you run now, you will run the rest of your life.” I got a new job, found an apartment, and bought a car.

It wasn’t a big thing, but Brian Tracy tells us how we live our life becomes a habit. If we quit, then quitting can seem like the thing to do when the going gets tough. There will always be rough patches in life when we feel like the direction we are going in is not the right direction, sometimes it isn’t, but we have to know when we give up something it is for something better not just quitting because we lack perseverance.

Is there a tougher job than parenthood? Is there any part of life where a bigger price is paid than when we drop the ball as parents? Eighteen years at the very least of being there, setting an example, endless encouragement, finding the humor in situations that might not be funny, and putting your family’s wellbeing above your own. Being a grandma is one of the rewards of being a parent and I intend to enjoy it to the fullest.

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. Friedrich Nietzsche

If it’s endurable, then endure it. Stop complaining. Marcus Aurelius

The extent of the struggle determines the extent of the growth. The obstacle is an advantage, not adversity. The enemy is any perception that prevents us from seeing this. Ryan Holiday

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books. A special thank you to everyone that leaves a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the purchase price.

Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy
When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The strength of family is what binds us, and pushes us to make things better.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Family is one of nature’s masterpieces. Candace Cameron Blue

This is a year for weddings and family celebrations. Yesterday was the bridal shower of my daughter-in-law-to-be. This is one of four bridal showers her aunt will attend this year for her nieces.

It was a lovely event and so good to see people in person, laugh, and talk. When I see my daughter-in-law-to-be with her family a pang of guilt hits me as I realize by moving far away from family my son and daughter were deprived of that close connection to their grandmother, grandfather, cousins, aunts, and uncles they would have had.

Cross country visits aren’t the same but they have been wonderful and created great memories. Mom and Dad had already left the farm before my kids came along so they never had a chance to visit the farm I grew up on.  

I said to a friend yesterday, “When we were looking for a husband we didn’t consider the family we were marrying into and what an impact it would have on our lives.” My mother-in-law is wonderful, as was my father-in-law now passed, and my sister-in-law and I have a wonderful relationship. We are truly blessed when we get along with our family and extended families.

As I look at families I can see how the matriarch of the family brings everyone together. We owe a lot to the grandmothers who do so much to bring everyone together, preparing the food, hosting the dinners, being the bridge that binds the generations.

The most important thing is family. Career is not waiting for you to come home. Money won’t wipe your tears and glory won’t embrace you at night. Unknown

We don’t have to be grandmothers to be the matriarchs; we have to be the ones that host the events that bring people together. Nothing happens unless someone makes it happen. Yesterday was a lot of work for the bride-to-be and her family. It was a lot of fun, and although I’m sure they were tired at the end of it, pure joy shone on their faces.

It is a great joy to love the person our son or daughter is marrying and bringing into the family. Our relationship with our in-laws will impact our lives in big ways. Even the most harmonious family will have disagreements and not see all things the same. That is to be expected, we are individuals after all.

The turbulence under the placid look of a family makes for the best stories. Keeping that turbulence out of view is one of the problems we have in families. It is where people feel they can’t be themselves, they are expected to be, do, or behave in certain ways and this can lead to lies, deception, and secrets as they hide their real selves from view to be acceptable.

Fitting in and living life to the beat of our own drum is a fine line we walk. Families are not homogeneous and as we become a varied group of different hues, ideologies, and values, we find we can all get along because the important values, of love, respect, togetherness, and family belong to all of us.

Never sacrifice three things: Your family, your heart, or your dignity. Unknown


I think the most important thing is your integrity. Your family, your health. Rest of the things, you can experiment with. A. R. Rahman


Our family is a circle of strength of love with every birth and every union the circle grows. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone who reads my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link below and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Focusing on the family is focusing on the building block of civilization. Strong families create strong societies.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Family is not an important thing. It’s everything. Michael J. Fox

As we are waiting for our grandson to be born I am questioning the ideas of equality and equity. Equality to me means when everyone has an equal opportunity as much as possible. Total equality can never be reached unless we reach it from the bottom and instead of equal opportunity, there is equally no opportunity.

We are born with talents, predispositions, and characteristics that help us make our way in the world. We have different statures, intelligence levels, drives, and determinations.  Different talents, dispositions, and characteristics may shine at different times. Leaders achieve greatness under different circumstances, some only shine during a war, others only shine during peace.

Through education, our society tries to equip our citizens with the tools needed to create a good life. A good life for everyone is not the same life. Equity recognizes that each person has different circumstances and allocates the exact resources and opportunities needed to reach an equal outcome.

This is where I think we are going down a dark road. I watched a competition for the strongest man yesterday. These men were huge and strong. How do you create equity in a competition like that? Women are not going to be able to compete in a strong person competition, very few men can compete.

Jordan Peterson tells us that young women lawyers are leaving the profession because they want a life that includes marriage and motherhood (especially motherhood) and being a partner in a law firm makes having a family very difficult. These very capable, smart women realize they don’t like the life they are living and choose a different one. Often they marry very successful men so they have that choice.

The family is one of nature’s masterpieces. George Santayana

A focus on equity, not equality is coming to Ontario Schools if Bill 67 passes and this alarms me a lot.  A focus on anti-racism is giving us more racism not less in my opinion. Just like the war on drugs did not give us what we wanted or might have expected. We get more of what we focus on, and even the best of intentions can have unexpected outcomes.

One of the outcomes of focusing on equality for women has meant fewer men are going to and staying in University. It doesn’t bode well for women when they are more highly educated and earning more money than the men they want to date and marry. Women entered the workforce and it was great for families for a short period of time. Are we better off with two people working than we were when one paycheck carried a family?

Even two wage earners have a hard time affording a home in Canada’s largest cities. Perhaps this tells us we should be moving to smaller centers and building them up. Families are the building block of every civilization; while big jobs, careers, and independence might be valued in the short term I think when the working years are over, the family will be what gives us joy, happiness, and contentment through our remaining years.

I can understand why people can’t see themselves in their later years when they are young. I couldn’t, I still don’t accept in my heart of hearts that as a woman of a certain age my best years are behind me. One of the greatest joys in my life is ahead of me as I become a grandmother for the first time. Over the next few years, I expect more grandchildren. I think about how empty my life would be if I was not married with children. My career/job would be ending and I would be alone.

My husband and I were talking last night as we watched a TV show about a couple looking to find themselves again, that we should go on some new adventures, see what there is to see and do what there is to do. Our son’s wedding will start a new chapter for us as well. Having a husband to share life with has been a great joy, and I think will become even more important as the years go by. Some day, he may have to go forward without me or me go forward without him because that is how life is, but In the meantime, we have each other, and life for two people is much more exciting than for one.

When that time comes, if we lived through all life threw at us and got through it together, made the best of the life we had, then that seems like it should lead to a life of few regrets even if we have to make our way through the rest of it alone. I think of my newly widowed aunt and mom as I write this.

Family sustains us in our times of loss, celebrates with us, and holds us up when times are hard. Being part of and building a family is one of the great joys and responsibilities of life.

Stick to the basics, hold on to your family and friends – they will never go out of fashion. Niki Taylor

Having somewhere to go is home. Having someone to love is family, and having both is a blessing. Unknown

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family. Lee Iacocca

Thank you to everyone that reads this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link below and make a purchase I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program

A link to Jordan Peterson’s podcast on Bill 67 https://youtu.be/fogGeB8YmnQ


12 More Rules For Life by Jordan Peterson
When Can We Get A Puppy by belynda wilson thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by belynda wilson thomas
Secrets and Silence by belynda wilson thomas

Rejoice in the togetherness, the bonds of family are always there.

The bonds of family are always there, rejoice in the togetherness.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life. Albert Einstein

As I flew home on the red-eye from a wonderful trip of seeing family I realized I’d been too optimistic thinking I would get my Monday post out. I’d done three in advance while I was away but I thought I would do my Monday post that day.

British Columbia is still beautiful even with smoke and fires in the Okanagan Valley. A friend, her daughter, and I were to have met for a day of wine tasting and touring, but a bump in covid cases and the fires extinguished that adventure. When we do meet up it will be a different adventure.

My sister was not on evacuation orders but close to where she lives was on evacuation alert and the fire burnt out a small community not far from her. The excessive heat from earlier this summer devastated her garden. Berries were dried up on the bushes before they had a chance to mature.

Many of the fires are started by lightning strikes and when everything is burnt and dry fires start easily and get out of control fast. Tempers flared as people were told to evacuate that wanted to fight the fire that threatened their homes and property. Many stayed and fought the fire and saved homes and property.

Mom tells me she fought a fire at nine years old. They couldn’t put out the wild fire, but they had a line they didn’t want it to cross and they kept it at bay. Her oldest sister was in the house with her baby brother and if the fire got away from them her oldest sister was to take the baby and climb into the well. How do you leave everything you’ve built if you think you have a chance to save it?

One resident said, “We just saved a house over here. Everything that I have is invested here. And I don’t have a big fat paycheck every month or a big fat pension when I’m finished. If I don’t save it, I’m too old to start over again.”

The fire service is doing their best to keep the fires away from communities but at some point as one fire service official said, “Mother Nature is just too much for humans.”

My brother who was only home a couple of days while I was there, was readying his place in case the fire came through. He had someone looking after it and was getting his trailer ready in case his livestock needed to be evacuated.  He took time out to come to dinner at Moms. Four of us kids, Mom, two spouses, and my youngest niece had dinner together. The last time we all ate together my 12-year-old niece wasn’t yet born.

It was a special time of being together. It is harder and harder to get us all together at the same time and as time marches on we all know our circle will not remain unbroken.

It was good to get home. It is fun to go, but lovely to return to my busy home which as we prepare for my son’s wedding next year will see changes as my children build their lives.

Time waits for no one. We have to take advantage of the opportunities that are presented to us. We have to adapt to changes that might be forced upon us by circumstances beyond our control. We may have to take a stand when something threatens everything we have and everything we’ve built. We may have to accept no matter how hard we try we can’t beat the odds we are against. Or we may be lucky when others weren’t. Whatever life throws at us we have to find a way to be resilient and of good cheer as much as possible.

Everyone has a story, everyone goes through challenges, and everyone has something to overcome, accept, and deal with. What some are going through would bring us to our knees. Getting through the day may be all we can do, and all we have to do to get to the other side of what we face.

Families are like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one. Unknown

I am so grateful I had the chance to see some of my brothers and sisters, their husbands and wives, nieces and nephews and even great-nieces and nephews, an aunt and uncle, and a cousin this trip. My oldest sister celebrated her 60th wedding anniversary but I wasn’t there with her to celebrate this milestone. My three oldest sisters were together to celebrate.

It is hard to get big families all together in one place but it is a joy to get together in smaller groups even when we can’t all be together. We need to talk to, laugh with, and hug people while we can because there comes a day when it will no longer be possible.

A family doesn’t need to be perfect; it just needs to be united. Unknown

The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other. Mario Puzo

No family is perfect, we argue, we fight. We even stop talking to each other at times, but in the end, family is family. The love will always be there. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

Thank you to those who read my book, and a special thanks to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the picture below and purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

International Women’s Day. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

The more things change, the more things stay the same. International Women's Day.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

I believe in love at first sight. I am a mother. Unknown

Next Monday is International Women’s Day and yes there is an International Men’s Day on November 19th.

On Sunday I’m on a panel and the theme is, what does International Women’s Day mean to me. I am very happy that women are taking the opportunities that are out there for them in education, building businesses, and excelling in life.

Where men and women need to excel and the hardest place to excel is in the family. The next generation pays the price for our failures. One of the things we get wrong in life is we think more choice equals more happiness.

There was a time when we were considered spinsters if we weren’t married at twenty-one. This meant women had a short window to choose a husband or have one chosen for them. The best choice was made and then they got on with making the best out of life.

We now have women who have taken advantage of the choices they have. They have gotten the education. They have great jobs and some have started businesses. They have political careers. But, what some of them are finding after all of their achievements is they now want a husband, and he is hard to find. The man that successful women want isn’t that interested in her success. He wants a woman in her younger more fertile years. He may want one that is not hardened by life. He may want one he can wow with his exploits, not one expecting to wow him with hers.

Life is a crazy ride. It’s a privilege to go through it with a partner. Kristen Bell

Men have always married younger women and women looked to marry older successful men so they could have a good life. This leaves the successful, accomplished single women feeling like they were told something that wasn’t true. They were told to do the “Important things in life”, like get an education and be successful, and then they could become wives and mothers.

Being a wife and mother, and husband and father is the most important thing in life. This is what we’ve gotten wrong. Men and women still need to work together to accomplish the most important things in life. That we can fulfill our dreams in other areas is great. We need to not lose sight of what is important and what brings us joy and happiness.

Women are not happier than previous generations with all of our choice. We are not warmer, sweeter, more encouraging, more optimistic, more generous, more open, more giving, or more grateful. We also are not less of these. We are who we choose to be in the circumstances we find ourselves in. We always have. Finding joy where we are is how we stumble on happiness.

We will not be happier when we get, “That.” Whatever that is, in about six months we will be as happy as before something great or disastrous happens in our lives. If this is true and I believe it is, we can be as happy as we set our minds to be regardless of outside circumstances in our lives.

This should give us the courage to change the things in our lives we should change and stay the course when we need to persevere. We need to quit telling our girls that marriage and motherhood can wait. Building a family is our greatest achievement. The family is what moves on in the next generation. The family is what we still have when we’ve retired from our career, and it is the legacy we leave when we die. There is a window that closes for motherhood, but many of the other things we chase like education and success can come at any stage in life.

Women can accomplish what they set out to accomplish in their lives. Just because we are accomplishing new things does not mean that being the heart of the family is not our most important role. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood. Elder M. Russell Ballard

It is not about how much you do, but how much love you put into what you do that counts. Mother Theresa

Giving the utmost of herself to three absorbing interests, marriage, motherhood, career… was a problem for a superwoman, and a job for a superwoman, and only some fabled being could have accomplished it all with success. Storm Jameson

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

Thank you for reading my novel Secrets and Silence and a special thank you to those that leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the picture below and purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

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