Posted on by BWThomas

Perseverance, if we can persevere, we can overcome.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Perseverance, secret of all triumphs. Victor Hugo      

Itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout, along came the rain and washed the spider out. Along came the sun and dried up all the rain and itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.

This little poem has been going around and around my brain. It must be about thirty-five years ago I saw a fellow Toastmaster give a speech about Itsy Bitsy Spider. She was a teacher who had just come back from a trip to Europe and a month later she died of cancer. There aren’t a lot of speeches I remember but I remember hers, is it because she died a month later?

Sometimes we pick up a book and it is precisely what we need to read, or watch a movie that is exactly what we need to see. We don’t even all agree on what was in the book or the film because we are each touched differently by what we read and see.

We are all impacted in our lives by people we meet, and we impact others. The impact we make counts. Most of us will never impact the world in any great way; no big or small invention will have our name on it.  We won’t impact people outside of our circle, but our circle impacts other circles, whether that circle is our family, community, or workplace. It is part of the whole as are we.

We all have our contribution to make and I know we sometimes look at the contribution some are making and ask ourselves, what kind of a contribution is that? We may see some people on their worst day and see some people on their best day and we might be totally wrong about who in the end makes the biggest contribution.

There are many conflicting ideas about how society should be built, what we as a society should value, and how we should deal with the challenges of our time. I feel sure we’ll go up the water spout a few times while we are figuring this out. We hope people we elect have answers that we don’t have, and we hear people expound on theories they never have to put into practice so they can continue to expound on them. I was listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer in a podcast he said, “When I didn’t have children I had lots of theories about raising children, now I have children but no theories.”

In the realm of ideas, everything depends on enthusiasm… in the real world, all rests on perseverance. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A society based on principles we all believe in is a good place to start. One of the things many people believe is the rich are getting richer, some believe the poor are getting poorer, but others believe the poor are also getting richer. We become a victim of our success and I believe that is what a lot of our housing problem is. Everyone wants to live in a few places, the prices are being driven up, demand outstrips supply, and we are playing musical chairs for housing.

Is the antidote to this a less successful society? Who wants that? What if we are always somewhere on that water spout and life looks different to us depending on whether the sun is shining or the rain is falling? We might find it easy to be too optimistic when the sun is shining and too pessimistic when the rain is falling. What if we need to find balance knowing in every life a little rain will fall, what if all of us will face challenges in our lives, but we don’t know what part of life those challenges will come?

What if knowing we can keep on keeping on is the greatest attitude we can have, and we will live through it all the bitter, the sweet, the happy, and the sad? No one only gets a sweet life, and would it be a great life if we did, we wouldn’t even know how good we had it because we’d have nothing to compare it to.

It seems some of the greatest people have lived through the greatest challenges. Those challenges made them who they are. Should we really want soft and easy lives, or should we look for ways to take on a load in life, carry it with dignity, and make something better?

I’ve come to think of marriage and raising children as a load we carry, and sometimes the load is easy and gives us more than it asks of us, and sometimes it asks more than it gives, but if we give up in the hard times we will never get back to the easy fun times and we will forever have a fractured family. Sometimes a fractured family may be better than a chaotic broken one that stays together, and only the people in it may know for sure which is which, and even they might not be sure.

Imagine, it’s not just itsy bitsy spider going up the spout but the whole family. It might be easier to scramble up it by ourselves, but when we get to the top we are alone. If we can bring our family with us, it will be challenging, and the journey will be longer, but when we get to the top, and we are all together, how much more joyous will it be?

Don’t give up before the miracle happens. Fannie Flagg

Success seems to be connected with action Successful men keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. Conrad Hilton

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. Thomas A. Edison

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

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Family is the steady rock; we need to accept ourselves and our family warts and all.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A family doesn’t need to be perfect; it just needs to be united. Unknown

Are we unhappy about the things that don’t work out in our lives or celebrating what is working? Isn’t there always something, big or small that is not working out how we want it to?

Tomorrow we leave for a road trip starting in Vancouver, British Columbia, and ending in Calgary, Alberta. There will be five of us and a fourteen-month-old baby. Will there be hiccups along the way, undoubtedly? Will tempers be frayed at times, certainly? We are fitting a lot into a short time, for sure, but in order to see everyone and everything we want to see, it has to be this way.

We are so fortunate to be able to make this trip and for our grandson to meet his great-grandmother who turns ninety-nine this November. He won’t remember this trip or his great-grandmother but there will be pictures and stories.

This trip came together because as my daughter and I planned to take her son to see mom everyone said we should come too, and here we are the day before we leave.

Today we’ll tie up some loose ends, give our dog a bath before she goes to where she’ll be staying, and water the plants as well as pop last-minute things into our luggage. We haven’t been on a family holiday since our daughter got married almost five years ago.

My kids saw their grandma the fall before the wedding and we are so fortunate mom is still with us. One of the challenges, when we move far from home, is getting back to see family. How fortunate we are to have a family to visit. There is a tie to our family that time and distance don’t erase. When we get together, no matter how long it is since we’ve seen each other there is a sense of belonging. We are part of it, we belong.

We might not have an easy time growing up, sometimes we don’t see things the way our parents do, and our choices don’t align with theirs, but I think most families find a way to accept each other warts and all. No one gets a perfect family where everyone does what they should, always make the best choices, or has the best reaction to someone else’s choices. We sometimes want things for someone that they don’t want for themselves, and we have to accept we can’t control others.

Family, we may not have it all together, but together we have it all. Unknown

“There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us”, is something Mom has said all my life, and my nephew says, “We love them cause their kin.” That sums up family, made up of the good, the bad, and the ugly, and at various times we might find ourselves in any of those categories. One of the problems we find in families is when they want to pretend there is no bad, or ugly in the family. We don’t all act perfectly all the time, we don’t always treat everyone fairly, think kind thoughts or expect the best of someone else. We have to be okay with our ugly side because it’s part of being human.

If we can accept ourselves warts and all, then maybe we can accept others as well. We have to be careful we don’t fracture families by making it seem that if families aren’t overjoyed with the decisions their children are making they can’t be told the truth about what is going on. When we create secrets in the family even if we think we are doing it for a good reason, it will likely have a bad outcome. When someone realizes you didn’t trust them enough to tell them the truth about yourself, how will they feel, and how will this strengthen the family? If we as a society encourage children and teenagers to keep secrets from their parents are we really doing a good thing even if what we are trying to do is support the children in their decisions?

Parents want the best for their children, and we as a society must trust this is so, because who do children have to turn to if they can’t turn to their parents and family? We have to be careful that by expecting perfection in families we don’t fracture them more and do more damage because perfection is the enemy of the good. Good intentions, have caused a lot of problems, and there are often unintended consequences no one wants to be responsible for, but what if our meddling is responsible?

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future. Gail Lumet Buckley

In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony. Friedrich Nietzsche

We start with our family, we may stray as life goes on but we all end up with our family – appreciate them. Catherine Pulsifer

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see categories or archives of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books, and a special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale.

Posted on by BWThomas

Happy families and unhappy families may be the difference in how we look at the realities of living together.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Family is the biggest support system in the times of trouble. Invaly

Last Thursday one of the speeches at Toastmasters was about lessons a member learned from her mother. As I listened to her talk I thought, how many of us listening are thinking, it’s like we have the same mother.

Tolstoy said, “Happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Could it be that in happy families people realize no one is perfect and they allow for imperfections with humor, forgiveness, and mercy?

What if we all have a story to tell about our families, and the big difference is how we view the realities of another’s imperfections and how they view ours? Haven’t we all disappointed others and been disappointed by others? This is the nature of life with other people, but how we react to the disappointments may be what is important, do we sum up our partner by their faults or do they sum us up by our faults? It isn’t important or even possible to marry someone without faults.

We are watching a show, “Match Me Abroad,” people who couldn’t find love in their own country are going abroad with picky, picky attitudes looking for someone who will not irritate them. I’m not a psychic but I have a pretty good idea that if no one in your own country is good enough for you, going to another country won’t likely be that much better. Because what they are taking with them is their attitude.

A good sense of humor goes a long way in relationships, but not if we make jokes at the other person’s expense. Sometimes we have to dig deep to find the funny in the situation, but if we look at things with a critical heart we might end up with a black hole where love should be, and all the life gets sucked out of the marriage.

If we can laugh together over things that could make us cry, realize we aren’t perfect, but we are still lucky to have each other, and the fact we don’t see things the same way can give us a bigger view of life. It’s our choice, we can carry every sling and arrow, every thoughtless action, every selfish act as if it was meant to hurt us, or we can believe they have the best of intentions even if it doesn’t look that way, and we can hope they view our faults the same.

You go through life wondering what is it all about, but at the end of the day, it’s all about family. Rod Stewart

If someone has stood by our side through the thick and thin of life, sacrificed some of what they wanted so we could get some of what we wanted, and if we can acknowledge that the disappointments our partner has faced are at least equal to what we have faced, but at least we have someone to share these disappointments as well as the joys and accomplishments with, how lucky are we?

If we have a partner, and we aren’t looking for someone to fill the chair on the other side of the table, that is a blessing. We can plan dinner and have someone to share it with. We can laugh at the antics of our children, grandchildren, or even great-grandchildren. We can share our dreams and our disappointments; we can make plans for the trip we’ve always planned on taking.

If we have a partner, we have someone that has our back, someone to call if the car breaks down, someone to hug, and share small and big moments with. I wonder how many people gave up on an imperfect relationship, only to find themselves in another imperfect relationship wondering if they shouldn’t have stayed in the first imperfect one.

Jim Rohn tells us, “Don’t ask for things to be easier, ask to be better.” We can’t change our partner and they can’t change us, but can we give the other person as much grace as we hope they will give us? If we look at their quirks and shortcomings with humor and forgiveness perhaps they can look at ours the same way. We won’t be a perfect family but maybe a happy one. Pope Francis said, “The family is a factory of hope,” and isn’t that a wonderful way to look at our family as our own little hope factory?

Let your first interest be in your home. The baby you hold in your arms will grow quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days. Gordon B. Hinckley

The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, lies in its loyalty to each other. Mario Puzo

That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable. Deb Caletti

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books, and a special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the price through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

We fall in love, but we build a marriage. Anything we build needs maintenance.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day. Barbara De Angelis

Creativity feeds our soul, food feeds our body, books feed our minds, and love makes our world go around. This is why we love to cook for people we love. We stir our creations with love and sharing a meal becomes more than just a pit stop for food.

When we have family gatherings we have food. Yesterday we were all getting together and then realized it was the Super Bowl so instead of the dinner I had planned my daughter made nachos and chicken wings. Everyone stayed for the half-time show and then it was time to go home to get ready for the week ahead.

No matter what else we accomplish in life building a family is what gives us our greatest joy, most worry, and biggest sorrow when they break apart. Family is the glass ball we juggle along with all our other balls, and it is the one we must protect as we build a career, fit creative endeavors, and everything else into our lives. We often take our family for granted until something happens and we realize we should have put more into it, made more time, and realized it was the priority that needed tending.

Marriages are the foundation of our families but anyone who is in one knows “happily ever after,” is a fairytale for most, because it implies that getting married was the big thing when staying married, and staying happily married is the challenge.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. Friedrich Nietzsche

We don’t want to hear that love is a verb but we might be better off thinking of building a family as a duty we are taking on, rather than buying into the idea of a romantic fairytale, one true love, and the ideal partner.

What if our job is to do our best to become the ideal partner, for our one true love which we chose to go through life with, and they only become our one true love if we continue to be true to them? We are the ones that need to have true love by being steadfast, honest, and true as we go through the challenges that life throws at us. What if it is only at the end of our lives that we can say we have true love because we endured to the end?

It doesn’t sound romantic to endure, but isn’t part of life enduring, getting through the hard parts to get to the better parts? The winter of our relationship will give way to springtime if we don’t give up, we don’t get bitter, and if we don’t do something that sabotages the relationship.

Giving up may be one of the great mistakes of our lives, we give up on ourselves, or someone we love in a moment of weakness, and see everything we’ve built come tumbling down. It might be a “little thing” that leads to winter in our relationship, but if we don’t repair the rift, we won’t be walking hand in hand in the sunshine of the spring that is coming.

If we are lucky enough to have a partner we need to hold on tight and make the best of the lives we are building together. We don’t only get the good parts we have to move through the seasons of life and love.

Marriage stands the test of time when both you and your spouse work toward making things better. And we are tested the most when we face adversities. If you can sail through the adversities as one, as a team, then you have won half the battle. Unknown

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin

True love stands by each other’s side on good days and stands closer on bad days. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books, and a special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Celebrating our families, generation to generation. Our families are with us to the end and are our legacy.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Families are like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one. Anonymous

Yesterday we celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday in a restaurant. As a family, we haven’t been out to a restaurant in a long time. We debated which restaurant to go to but my mother-in-law made the final choice. There were nine of us and our four-month-old grandson. We worried about taking him to the restaurant. But, he was wonderful and our server oohed and aahed over him to the delight of his mother and the rest of us. He’s a beautiful baby but he’s ours and we are just a little biased. Another cute baby showed up at the restaurant with his parents. We had to know how old he was and were told he was six months old. He was also very good while his parents ate their dinner.

It is lovely when we can get together and celebrate milestones. We never know when it might be our last chance to celebrate with someone. We need to take advantage of these special moments in our lives while we can. It’s been a lovely year of celebrating for us. We have one more wedding to attend this fall, our friend’s daughter is getting married.

The circle of life continues and watching our younger generation take their place, getting married, and having babies, lets us know that we as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and society in general have done okay. We have challenges before us, every generation has its challenges, the generations before us will have their challenges but we hope they will meet those challenges and life will continue to improve for most of us.

My mother is not one who longed for the good old days. She and Dad grew up in tough times, the thirties, and then their generation went to war. I look back on the life I’ve been privileged to live. It has been a life of peace and plenty, full of opportunities, but often those opportunities weren’t recognized as opportunities when they presented themselves.

Even though we’ve lived through peace and plenty it doesn’t mean it has been an easy road. What does an easy road look like, and is an easy road what we really want? It seems to me what we’ve thought of as success has been just over the next hill, we’ve never quite attained what we would call success, and I am beginning to think that makes a great life.

The greatest legacy we can leave our children is happy memories. Unknown

Working toward something more than actually attaining it may be where the real joy in life lies. How would I feel if I’ve written the best blog post I could ever write, written the best book, painted the best picture, or given the best speech? Mom and I were talking the other day and counting in our heads the number of her grandchildren, great and great, great-grandchildren. We came up with forty-seven.

Mom was visited by her great-granddaughter and her husband, son, and daughter. They had a lovely visit and the kids are old enough to remember visiting their great, great grandmother. Many of us don’t remember our grandmothers let alone great, and great, great grandmothers.

I saw a post on Facebook saying we are burying the people who kept families together. This has always been the case and the torch has been thrown to the next generation to keep the family together. We need to take up our responsibilities to keep our families together so that our children and grandchildren will continue this tradition. Many of our families are smaller now, but a couple of generations fill a restaurant, house, or backyard for a celebration. It doesn’t matter where we choose to do our celebration, only that we do.

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Leo Tolstoy

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. Ann Landers

Family and friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches. Wanda Hope Carter

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Giving and receiving in life and marriage create balance and abundance in our lives.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Giving and receiving are different expressions of the same flow of energy in the universe. Deepak Chopra

The wedding is over, and the marriage begins. A wonderful weekend of festivities is over. My feet are still sore – why do pretty shoes hurt our feet so much?

The DJ played the wrong song for the bride to walk down the aisle. I didn’t notice! She said to herself, pictures are being taken and she smiled and walked down the aisle and now they have a story to tell. One of the things to know in life is it isn’t life going along how we want it, but how we react when it doesn’t that makes the stories.

We went out for brunch with some of her family and had a barbecue with some of ours in the evening. It was a wonderful wrap-up to a beautiful wedding. Perhaps marriages are like birthing a child. They take a gestation period of planning and preparation culminating in a celebration. After going through the whole process we are changed in subtle ways.

After all this our families are joined, my daughter’s parents-in-law came to the wedding and we are going to our daughter-in-law’s sister’s wedding reception in a couple of weeks. The ties that bind are being woven.

Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have. Jim Rohn

We may wish we could stay in a simpler time, a time we liked better, but we are here. Our children have created their own families, and life is progressing as it should. As I write this I am listening to someone talk on the radio about what is happening in Quebec. The French and English were never in an equal marriage even in the beginning. Taking draconian action against the English is not likely to make Quebec a better, stronger, or more equal society.

We are equal as individuals and that has to be good enough. I sometimes think it isn’t but I have to give myself a shake. What other kind of equality is there? My family, scattered across Canada hasn’t had the weight in my children’s life that my husband’s family has. We are more numerous but less present.

Two of my sisters were present at my son’s wedding. It is a blessing my oldest sister flew across Canada to be with us. It was a lot of effort to celebrate with us. My nephew that danced at our wedding, danced at our son’s.

These lovely moments build our lives. Sharing them with friends and family strengthens our bonds and we will share moments and memories over the years. Our little dog was cared for by my friend’s son, another deeper connection.  

The more we put into life the more we get out of life. The more people we love the more love it seems we have to give. The more we widen our circle, the more willing we are to widen it further. The more people’s lives we touch and who touch our lives the more fulfilling our lives are. The more we give, the more we get.

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting. Unknown

A balance of giving and receiving is essential to keeping your energy, mood, and motivation at a consistently high level. Doreen Virtue

Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process. Jim Rohn

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Posted on by BWThomas

Building a good marriage is one of the highest goals we can aspire to which will reap rewards for ourselves, our families, and society down the generations.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin

It is less than a week before our son’s wedding. It’s taken so long, and it is here so fast. For our daughter’s wedding, we went to Jamaica and it was hectic before we left getting flowers, centerpieces, etc. ready. This time it is a local event so we are not as involved in preparations. We are hosting the rehearsal party at our house and we discussed who would be here and what to serve last evening,

On Saturday two friends and I got our eyebrows threaded and today we are getting manicures and pedicures. I wasn’t going to give a speech, but now I will say grace. My daughter laughs and tells me Grace (my middle name) give a good grace.

It isn’t that I didn’t want to give a speech at my son’s wedding (I’m a Toastmaster after all) but they are not having a lot of speeches and the bride’s mother isn’t giving a speech. My son-in-law said, “I would have lost that bet, I thought for sure you would give a speech.” Now I am saying grace because our dear friend whom we all knew without question would be the one to grace the table, can’t attend.

Marriage is a fundamental institution that brings stability to our lives. I don’t mean you have to get the license and have the party although I think making a statement to yourselves and the community has power. My uncle said, “I don’t need a paper pinned to my bum to know I am married.” I believe that is true, we make the commitment to someone because we’ve made the commitment, and it is making the commitment to live through the highs and lows of life together that is important. My uncle’s wife was with him to the end, sitting by his bedside in a nursing home until he took his last breath. We don’t know what challenges are in front of us but if we have a partner to go through life with I think it is easier and more fun.

Marriages, like a garden, take time to grow. But the harvest is rich unto those who patiently and tenderly care for the ground. Darlene Schacht

Statistics show marriage is an economic win for people. One of the biggest drivers of poverty is people not marrying and staying together. I watch my daughter and son-in-law with their new baby. It warms my heart to see my grandson in his father’s arms. He loves to be held by my husband. Even at this very young age, masculine energy calms him.

We build our lives by the decisions we make and a good life isn’t built all at once with one big decision and nor dare I say is a not-so-good life. If we are making decisions that move us closer to the good, our life will be quite different than if the decisions we make always make things a little worse. We won’t always make the right decision, we will have to do relationship repair, and make u-turns. It may be tempting to think sometimes it can’t get any worse than this, but that is rarely true and a few stupid decisions might show us just how bad it can get.

With gratitude for all the blessings in our lives, we see our son enter the state of matrimony with all the promise that brings. Wouldn’t it be nice if at this wedding some of the single people find a partner? Marriage is not a fairy tale, but having a partner to go through the ups and downs of life with is one of the great blessings we can aspire to.

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry. Tom Mullen

Marriage is the highest state of friendship. If happy, it lessens our cares by dividing them, at the same time that it doubles our pleasures by mutual participation. Samuel Richardson

There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. Martin Luther

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those that leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon Affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Posted on by BWThomas

Spending time with family is one of the great joys in life. We can stay close through time and distance.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A family doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be united. Unknown

Life surrounded by family is a joy. At Easter dinner two places were empty, one was sick and one was working, but our newest member was with us. Babies are so much work and so much fun, and as grandma, I get the fun but not the work.

What a beautiful time to be born with April flowers poking their heads out of the ground. In places where there is still snow – it is the last of it. The other day I saw seeds for sale and I purchased a bunch. My husband asked, where are you planting those. Over the years many of my flowers have died out as trees and shrubs have grown larger.

My garden has been neglected especially in the last few years. If I want a beautiful garden I have to put the work in. A garden is a metaphor for life. I’ve let weeds take over where flowers used to be. I need to find new flowers that will flourish with my shrubs and trees. I should have planted spring bulbs last fall, but I didn’t.

One of the things I want to do this year is to find more balance in my life. I was working very hard on writing and it is necessary to put the work in to accomplish something. But, we also have to find balance in our lives and now I need to find time for a fuller richer life as a grandma.

I expect now I’m getting into the groove as a writer that it will be part of my life for however long I have on this earth. Art and writing are two pastimes I enjoy and enrich my life. Life is what we make it, and making time for all the facets of our life is important. It is not good to focus too much on one part of our life to the detriment of other equally important parts.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.  Robert Breault

Yesterday it would have been so easy to say. I don’t have time to make Easter dinner this year. With all we have going on no one would have questioned that decision. We would have missed out on a lovely evening we shared in the glow of getting together with family we haven’t spent time with for a while and introducing them to the newest member of the family.  It is the last dinner we’ll have with everyone before my son’s wedding.

My son said to me as we cleaned up. “Thanks, Mom, for doing the work to make this happen.” He is marrying into a family that celebrates big and often. As I look back over our life I wonder if we celebrated enough. My friend sent me a picture of her one-year-old grandson with his birthday cake all over his face. She is a first-time grandma and so am I.

Families are fragile things. Our circle can be broken easily and like Humpty dumpty can be hard to put back together again. We watch famous families disintegrate before our eyes, sometimes we watch our own disintegrate and don’t know how to fix things.

Families aren’t perfect, they are always comprised of imperfect people thrown together, stirred and shaken by the winds of fate. We don’t know how our lives will unfold, “Will we be rich, will we be happy, Que sera, sera? The future’s not ours to see. Whatever will be, will be, Que sera, sera.”

What we can do, is gather our loved ones around us when we get the chance. We can make phone calls and stay in touch. We can make the best of what we have. If we do these things then, whatever happens, we will know we did the best with what we had, and live a life of few regrets.

Families are like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions. Yet our roots remain as one. Unknown

If you want to bring happiness to the world, go home and love your family. Mother Teresa

You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them in your heart, your mind, your stomach because you do not just live in the world but a world lives in you. Frederick Buechner

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas
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Parents with newborns are a joy to behold. A new baby is the beginning of all things.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. Jill Churchill

As expected my grandson arrived at 10:30 am on Monday. Visitors are not allowed but he came home the next day and what a bundle of joy he is. He weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces so he is a substantial baby. I pulled out my son and daughter’s baby pictures from the hospital and he looks just like them. I haven’t seen a newborn baby picture of my son-in-law. It will be fun to watch him grow and change over the next little while.

He already has his own personality and if that little face isn’t smiling back at me I don’t know what that is. I’m pretty sure he has a dimple, he’s looking around taking everything in, and he’s very hungry, but is content most of the time. He’s getting enough to eat but he wants to eat often and with enthusiasm.

Our little dog is already concerned when he cries and wants to sit by mom and baby. It is a very special time and we are blessed to share it with my daughter and her husband.

New mothers are kept in the hospital for a very short time and I’m sure it must be overwhelming for some new mothers who haven’t been around many children to bring their newborn home and be totally responsible for this new being who seems so fragile in their newness. Breastfeeding is hard for many new mothers and one of the hardest parts is you can’t say I know he drank four ounces. They have to trust their body and their baby, and we don’t have a lot of trust in ourselves, we want evidence.

My daughter said to me yesterday, “Can you hold him while I have a shower?” Of course, I was happy too, when she came up baby and me, and Lulu the dog were sitting on the couch almost having a nap. One of the mothers at the hospital where they gave birth is probably not having such a serene experience. Her baby cried the whole time they were there.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. Leo J. Burke

I remember when I had my son, he hardly made a peep. One afternoon the nurse came in and woke me, “Aren’t you going to feed your baby?” My son was crying but I’d been listening to a crying baby that wasn’t mine for so long I didn’t realize he was the one crying. All he wanted was food and he was happy again.

Do we put too much pressure on new mothers to breastfeed? I don’t know, I do know it isn’t easy for everyone but when it works it means you always have lunch ready at the right temperature. Breastfeeding is thought by some to statistically significantly lower the risk of postpartum depression. Researchers from Florida Atlantic University’s Christine E. Lynn College of Nursing and collaborators are the first to examine breastfeeding status and postpartum depression by studying a large national population-based database of 29,685 women living in 26 states in the US. Findings showed women who were currently breastfeeding at the time of the data collection had a statistically significant lower risk of postpartum depression. I’ve always thought about this and now there is a study.

My reasoning was, that our bodies control our thinking more than we might like with the hormones they produce, and a breastfeeding baby means a live baby. There is also the effect breastfeeding has on getting our body back to pre-pregnant status. The bond that breastfeeding creates between mother and baby can’t be duplicated with a bottle, and the superior nutrition it provides makes it the best way to feed the baby. Breastfeeding is linked to lower rates of autism. The studies trying to find the correlation between breastfeeding and lower rates of autism haven’t been able to isolate the factor, but they do see a relationship.

Not everyone will be successful in breastfeeding, but it might be so important that every baby should get the opportunity to breastfeed even for a short period of time if it is at all possible.  The colostrum produced before the milk comes in might be so important that every baby should have access to it.

I’m looking for the benefits of colostrum and what comes up is how important it is for a newborn calf. If it is so important for a newborn calf why would it not be equally important to a newborn infant?

Being a new parent is a minefield full of judgment. It is important to do our best but that is all we can do, and we have to be okay with our shortcomings as people and parents. Breastfeeding may be best but it isn’t always possible, hopefully, my daughter can breastfeed until her baby weans himself. We are fortunate to have access to formula to feed our babies if it is required. There are so many “expectations” placed on new parents. It is so easy to let society make you feel inadequate because you aren’t doing what they think you should do, or looking how they think you should look.

As I watch my daughter and her husband with their newborn son my heart is filled with gratitude and joy. How wonderful to see the next generation taking their place as parents. A baby loved and wanted comes into the world and a family is created. It doesn’t get better than this.

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for. Unknown

As new parents, the days may be long, but the years are short. You’ll never look back and wish you held your baby less. Unknown

A new baby is like the beginning of all things – wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. Eda Leshan

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to those who read my books. A special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and make a purchase I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Posted on by BWThomas

Persevere and make your days count. Time marches on, waiting for no one.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

I may not be there yet but I’m closer than I was yesterday. Unknown

Time, we think we have lots until we have none. At the beginning of pregnancy, it seems a long time until the baby will be due, but here we are, my daughter is full term, and I expect to be a grandma within days.

If we look at our tasks like pregnancy and take every day to work toward our goals then we will slowly and steadily reach our goals. One of the mistakes we make is not breaking our goals into smaller and smaller goals until we break them down into what we must do each day to work toward them. If we break it down and do our daily tasks toward them we will get where we want to go.

If we are not working on our goals daily, how will they be accomplished? If our goal is to be healthy, what we eat daily, the exercise we do daily, and our daily thoughts will determine where we end up. Last night at Toastmasters we only had one speaker so the President of the club played the winning speech from the International Speech Contest from 2014. The speaker tells how he was not doing well at seventeen when his father got him a job with a man who said to him, “I see something in you, I don’t know what it is, but if you come and work for me we can figure it out.”

If we are lucky we have been that person to others and someone has been that person to us. “I see something in you.” What powerful words and on the cusp of being a grandma I know words are powerful. I hope that I will have the right words to encourage someone and especially my grandchildren. If we can live our life encouraging others to keep up the good fight, to keep going when they want to stop, to move in a new direction, or to find a direction when they don’t have one. Then we will be a blessing in the lives of others no matter how small a part we play in their lives.

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. Newt Gingrich

How many people have had someone say something to them that made them look at things differently? I had someone say something to me when things weren’t working out well for me when I first left home. “Mom said, “Why don’t you come home?” I was contemplating doing just that when he said, “If you run now, you will run the rest of your life.” I got a new job, found an apartment, and bought a car.

It wasn’t a big thing, but Brian Tracy tells us how we live our life becomes a habit. If we quit, then quitting can seem like the thing to do when the going gets tough. There will always be rough patches in life when we feel like the direction we are going in is not the right direction, sometimes it isn’t, but we have to know when we give up something it is for something better not just quitting because we lack perseverance.

Is there a tougher job than parenthood? Is there any part of life where a bigger price is paid than when we drop the ball as parents? Eighteen years at the very least of being there, setting an example, endless encouragement, finding the humor in situations that might not be funny, and putting your family’s wellbeing above your own. Being a grandma is one of the rewards of being a parent and I intend to enjoy it to the fullest.

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. Friedrich Nietzsche

If it’s endurable, then endure it. Stop complaining. Marcus Aurelius

The extent of the struggle determines the extent of the growth. The obstacle is an advantage, not adversity. The enemy is any perception that prevents us from seeing this. Ryan Holiday

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books. A special thank you to everyone that leaves a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the purchase price.

Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy
When Can We Get A Puppy by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Sorrow by Belynda Wilson Thomas
Secrets and Silence by Belynda Wilson Thomas