The call to adventure. You’ve got to read this.

You've got to read this. The call to adventure.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go. Dr. Seuss

If we are on the Heroes’ journey or want to be on the heroes’ journey we get a call to adventure and we have to accept it. We say yes to reading the book, taking the job, getting married, having children, starting a business, joining Toastmasters, writing a book, taking a class, or moving somewhere to start anew. Every new thing in our life has a catalyst – a call to adventure. Come and see where this leads.

Isn’t every book we buy like that? We go to the book store or look on Amazon and we have an array to choose from. Maybe we have the gift card from Christmas in our pocket. We aren’t even worried about the price. We want a worthy book.

Just the other day Mom asks me if I’ve read “The Nightingale” a book set in 1941. She tells me it is a book everyone should read because we should understand how fortunate we are, and be grateful. Mom lived through 1941 in Canada, 1941 in France would have been an entirely different story. We don’t know how hard things were for people in Europe during World War ll. How could we, most of us were not born?

One of the things that amaze me is the books Mom reads. How does she happen to be reading the book everyone else is reading? The answer of course is because she’s a reader, someone whispers to someone who whispers to someone else you should read that book, and the whispers reach Mom. When everyone was reading “The Help,” Mom was reading it. “The Nightingale” is showing up in Good reads in the “What are you reading posts.” It’s also showing up on a book lovers Facebook group.

Anybody who creates any product or business hopes someone whispers to someone “Have you,” and then their company, book title, or product is said next.

Word of mouth is still the best advertising. It is what you can’t buy with Facebook ads, TV spots, or by being on a radio show. We can all afford word of mouth because all we need is a “Worthy” product that some people will talk about. We don’t need everyone; we need a few people willing to invest time and money into our book or product for the experience and pleasure of consuming it.

Good books don’t give up all their secrets at once. Stephen King

My husband’s cousin, a teacher in The Bahamas reads Danielle Steele books. I read Danielle Steele books too but I think my husband’s cousin is a very loyal fan. Obviously, to become the author Danielle Steele has become she has hordes of loyal fans. It all probably started with “Have you read,” whispered to someone who whispered to someone, and the whispering never stopped.

A book is a call to adventure, what characters will we meet, where will we go, and what will we learn? We will spend our time in a world created by an author. It is an investment in time and money. Time is more important than money. We can only read so many books. We only have so much time. We may not know how we decide what book it is we excitedly pay for, can’t wait to get home or be delivered and start. We can order the Ebook and start immediately. Somehow, out of the array we had to choose from we made a choice.

If many people make the same choice we have a best seller. It isn’t advertising that makes a best seller, its readers choosing to buy, and whisper to someone “You’ve got to read this book.”

Have you read a good book and whispered the magic words, “You’ve got to read this?” Are you heeding the call to adventure when someone whispers them to you?

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.

When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does. Nora Ephron

If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t yet been written, then you must write it. Toni Morrison

See all 3 images


Follow the Author

Kristin Hannah+ Follow

The Nightingale: A Novel Paperback – April 25 2017

by Kristin Hannah  (Author)4.7 out of 5 stars 52,692 ratings


Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    5 ratings

Dreams can come true. Multi-millionaire Canadian Author.

Multi-millionaire Canadian Author. Dreams can come true.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Start by doing what’s necessary. Then do what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. Saint Francis of Assisi

We have a new rising Canadian Author who got a multimillion-dollar deal for her debut novel, “The Push.” It is a story that makes my heart sing. She isn’t a celebrity author, she’s an author whose deal is based on the worth of her novel with a two-book deal and movie rights. She wrote the novel while on maternity leave. The Push, by Ashley Audrain, was released on January 5, 2021. 

It might be a great time to be a Canadian author. Agents and publishers might be looking for other authors to sign. It might also be a time to watch for scams. I got an email from an author that connected with me on LinkedIn. He thought he was offered a deal with a traditional publisher. They offered an advance, they would look after the editing, they would set the price, etc.

He got his 50 cent advance in a cheque they sent to him after he’d signed the contract giving them exclusive rights to all books he published for seven years. This publisher, is I believe no longer in business. They didn’t edit his book, they just published it as he sent it in, and priced his book extremely high. After the seven years went by and he got out of that deal he decided to go with another publisher, this time an independent publisher and felt he got ripped off again.

There are a few things we need to know as authors, or just generally in life. There is no free lunch. No one wants to do something for us for nothing. When it works we are doing something for them and they are doing something for us. In a traditional publishing deal, the publisher takes all the risk, invests all the money, pays an advance and the author gets no royalties until the advance is paid off. When we deal with a publisher the deal was they “bought” our book. This means we don’t own it anymore. Whether a deal is good or bad may not be evident until someone becomes a star. Could they have become a star without that deal?

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work. Stephen King

As an independent author, we pay all the costs, we hire the editor and pay them, we make our own cover or pay someone to do it. We do the work to get it published, we publicize it. We get paid royalties right from the start on every book we sell and we can buy copies we don’t get royalties on to sell personally.

There are many companies offering to help us become Indy authors. We need to know what we are signing up for when we make a deal with anyone for anything. What are they expecting from us, and what are we expecting from them?

Once we sign a contract, it’s a contract and we have to abide by it. If we independently publish on Amazon we are not tied to them, they get a cut of what we sell on Amazon and we get a royalty. We can sell our EBook exclusively on Kindle unlimited and get the added readership that gives us, or we can publish our EBook on other platforms. We can leave at any time. We need to make sure we know what we are signing, what we are expecting, and what is expected of us.

Most of us can’t afford the services of a publicist in the beginning and many of us won’t be good at being our own publicist. We may find being an Indy author is a hard job, and keeping all our balls in the air is challenging. There are people willing to do every job that needs doing, but every one of them needs to be paid. Many successful artists are part of a well-oiled machine that makes them successful. It is hard to do this on our own.  There is an old Chinese proverb that says, “If you want to go fast go alone, if you want to go far, go together.”

I was reading that there is a word for friend in some language that means, “I like you, but I wouldn’t want to hunt with you.” Who we choose to work with and work for will impact our lives. When we choose to only work with ourselves it will also impact our life. Choices are all around us. Do we want to go alone or go together, and who are we choosing for the trip?

Dreams can come true, life is a series of choices, and every choice has its consequence.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt

I am thankful for all of those who said no to me. It’s because of them I’m doing it myself. Albert Einstein

Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece. Ralph Charell

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

See this image

The Push Paperback – Deckle Edge, Jan. 5 2021

by Ashley Audrain  (Author)4.4 out of 5 stars 355 ratingsAmazon Charts #2 this week


Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    4 ratings

 See all formats and editions

Choices shape our lives. Every day we can make a different choice or the same choice. Are we making choices that work for us?

Are we making choices that work for us? Every day we can make a different choice or the same choice. Choices shape our lives.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Our mind is a garden, our thoughts are the seeds, we can grow flowers or we can grow weeds. Unknown

Today may be a day we said we would get up early but we laid in bed a little longer and hit the snooze button. We said we would exercise but we don’t feel like it, or we don’t have enough time. It is easy to give up on ourselves our ideas, our dreams, and our improvements. We think about it but if we don’t do it we aren’t effective. If our life is to work we have to be effective.

Seth Godin calls being effective shipping the work. At least this is my interpretation of what he’s saying. When we ship the work we do what we said we would do and we produce what we said we would produce. We make things happen in our corner of life. We don’t drop our ball. We play our position to the best of our ability. Even when we are doing our best it won’t be perfect but perfect is not what we are after.

My son-in-laws birthday is the fifth of January when I’ve said enough with all the food, goodies, cake, etc. There is, of course, another big meal, another cake, and wine. We celebrate his birthday even though it interferes with our January eating plan. We must take his birthday in stride, make allowances for his birthday and get back on our program. Real-life will always get in the way of our plans. If everything has to work perfectly for us to meet our goals, we never will.

I’m in a speech contest on Wednesday held over zoom. If we have technical problems there is a plan to handle that. I’m on an internet radio show on Friday I have an internet link and a phone number just in case there are problems. We back up our computers just in case. Sometimes even with our backup plans, things don’t work out. Sometimes our best plans don’t work. We think if we do A, we’ll get B but we don’t and we have to deal with it.

Sometimes we have no clue what the best action to take is. We may make things worse with the best of intentions. We may follow the crowd and not like where they lead us. We may think something is one way and other people make it out to be something else, something worse than we ever thought it could be considered.

Life is about choices. Some we regret, some we’re proud of. Some will haunt us forever. The message: We are what we chose to be. Graham Brown

Wherever we are, whatever the circumstances this is what we have to work with. We can do our best to make it better. People amaze us when they are in hard circumstances that they think of making things better for other people. They put their energy into making a difference in other people’s lives. They find a way to help others. I have a great-niece doing this. She is painting pictures to raise money for a cause. I missed the chance to get one of her paintings yesterday. I will have to get on the list to get one. She’s making a difference, she’s eight years old.

One of the things we have to do is not take things personally. If people don’t like our ideas it doesn’t mean we should take them personally. We are using people’s ideas as shorthand for them as if they are only their ideas, religion, or political beliefs. We divide people into us and them. If they think like us they are on the right side, but what if we are wrong? What happens if we change our thinking? As time unfolds we may change some of our beliefs about things.

This is one of the reasons that religion and politics aren’t talked about if we want everyone to get along. We may never agree on the things that divide us but is that what we should concentrate on? We choose what we make important in our life. We choose where we put our energy. Are we happy with our choices are they giving us a life we love?

On every journey you take, you face choices. At every fork in the road, you make a choice. And it is those decisions that shape our life. Mike DeWine

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. Eleanor Roosevelt

We’re making decisions right now that shape our lives. Even indecision is a decision. What’s going on today is a result of the choices we’ve made in the past. Toni Sorenson

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by [Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman]

Audible SampleAudible Sample


Follow the Authors

Ryan Holiday+ Follow

Stephen Hanselman+ Follow

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living Kindle Edition

by Ryan Holiday  (Author), Stephen Hanselman  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

4.8 out of 5 stars    9,103 ratings

See all 2 images

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Paperback – Large Print, Aug. 29 2020

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)5.0 out of 5 stars 4 ratings

Challenges and opportunities. Are we grateful when they show up in our lives and do we look on challenges as opportunities?

Do we look on challenges and opportunities, and are we grateful when they show up in our lives? Challenges and opportunities.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

While the challenges are great, so are the opportunities. Unknown

Yesterday on LinkedIn I saw a post. A young man of sixteen went into a job interview with long hair. The owner of the company said, “I don’t hire sixteen-year-olds.” On his way out the door, the owner said, “But, if you cut your hair the job is yours.”

The sixteen-year-old went back the next day with a haircut and the owner looked at him. “I was only kidding, but a deal is a deal.” He got hired and became the owner’s best employee and is now a partner with his former boss.

Where would life have taken him if he didn’t get the haircut and go back to the company? How would he have handled it if the owner of the company had left it at, “I was only kidding,” and didn’t hire him?

What happens when we don’t take the opportunities presented to us? Nothing, and if that happens enough we may wonder how everyone else is doing so much better as they take advantage of opportunities we may overlook. We don’t know where something will lead.

On LinkedIn, an internet radio host reached out to me, and now I will be on his show on January 15th, 2021 at 7:00 Eastern Standard Time. The name of the show is, “In the Author’s Corner With Etienne.” He is just starting up his radio show again after hurricane Maria devastated where he lives. When we are doing an internet radio show it doesn’t matter if we are down the street or in the Virgin Islands.

Who knows where this will lead. We don’t know where anything will lead but if we show up and take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves we can find out. One radio show may lead to more radio shows. We never know when we will meet someone who will make a difference in our lives or whose life we will make a difference in.

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. Socrates

One of the things I love about Toastmasters is we hear real stories about real people, their struggles, and triumphs. What has touched them and shaped their lives? During this time of covid people have less interaction with others but some people are taking this time and making the best of it.

When we can’t take relationships for granted maybe we appreciate them more. We might be talking about things that matter. We might be asking questions about what we want out of the rest of our lives. We might be willing to take some chances, and encourage others to take chances.

A woman on LinkedIn sounds like her life has gone through a complete renovation. She lost her job, took that time to become a published author, says she is making more money now than before, and doing what she loves. She is spending more time with her family and building stronger relationships. We may look at what is lost but for some there are gains. What if there can be gains for all of us if we look at things the right way? What if living through hard times is a blessing? A blessing we would never choose, but out of hard times come tough and resilient people.

Are there opportunities we need to grab hold of? Are there things we need to be grateful for?

Every day, set your mind in the right direction, find something to be grateful for. Joel Osteen

Gratitude in advance is the most powerful creative force in the universe. Neale Donald Walsch

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Unknown

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

See this image

Tough Times Never Last, but Tough People Do! Mass Market Paperback – May 1 1984

by Robert Schuller (Author)4.6 out of 5 stars 347 ratings

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    4 ratings

 See all formats and editions

Sowing and reaping. Is there no getting without giving? Are we reaping what we sow?

Is there no getting without giving? Are we reaping what we sow? Sowing and reaping?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. Robert Louis Stevenson

Yesterday morning we woke up to no electricity. No coffee, no writing, but by 8:00 am it was back on. How blessed we are when power outages last for such a short time. We were having a new furnace and hot water tank installed yesterday and if there was no power there would be no installation. Our furnace hadn’t quit completely but it had not come on a few times until my husband went downstairs and shut it off and turned it back on. Then it would start running a couple of hours after that. We are lucky we didn’t spend a few days in the cold and dark.

We don’t see everything behind the scenes that make our life work so seamlessly. Everybody finding a need and filling it makes life work wonderfully. If we want to send a package someone is willing to deliver it. If we want to eat out someone is willing to cook it and someone is willing to deliver it to us. If we want to go somewhere we can get someone to pick us up and take us there.

Ingenuity is everywhere. Wouldn’t life be better if? Someone came up with an idea and made it happen. If we want to do well in life we have to find a way to make life better for someone. If we impact enough people’s life it can make a huge difference in our own.

Everything in our life is a series of everyone doing their part to make it all work. Shopping local is a term being batted about. The more we keep our money moving within our communities the better our communities are.

With Christmas coming – the biggest shopping time of the year, how can we help our local communities? This is a big question that is coming to the forefront in many areas as non-essential businesses are shut down to in-store traffic. Is there a way to shop local without in-store shopping?

Talk unbelief, and you will have unbelief, but talk faith, and you will have faith. According to the seed sown will be the harvest. Ellen G. White

I don’t know who I’m buying for in our Secret Santa gift-giving. This is our third year of doing Secret Santa. As families grow cutting the number of gifts to buy and still being able to have a fun Christmas without breaking the bank is the goal. Where to buy that gift may be a challenge and it’s time to put my thinking cap on. I hope I get my name soon.

The small gift I am going to buy will not make a difference to anyone’s bottom line, but if enough of us make an effort to support small retailers this Christmas we can help them through these tough times.

Even buying on Amazon is helping many small businesses. We don’t think of Amazon as helping small businesses but many of the products are put there by individuals who have created a virtual store on Amazon with their own creations or products they’ve found to sell.

I’ve received my first royalties for my book Secrets and Silence. My own little passive income generator, hopefully, sales will increase and continue over the years as I add more books. We don’t know where something will go when we start, but it won’t become anything if we don’t start. We need to plant a seed and watch it grow. If we eat all our seeds we can’t plant them and if we plant sparingly we will reap sparingly.

What are the seeds in our life? What are we doing with them? Are we expecting a harvest without planting the seeds? Are we waiting for our ship to come in that we never sent out?

Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later. Og Mandino

You must give to get. You must sow the seed, before you can reap the harvest. Scott Reed

I inherited that calm from my father, who was a farmer. You sow, you wait for good or bad weather, you harvest, but working is something you always need to do. Miguel Indurain

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, please comment.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sales through the Amazon affiliate program.

Sowing and Reaping by [Booker T. Washington]

Audible SampleAudible Sample


Follow the Author

Booker T. Washington+ Follow

Sowing and Reaping Kindle Edition

by Booker T. Washington  (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars    10 ratings

 See all formats and editions


See all 2 images

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Paperback – Large Print, Aug. 29 2020

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)5.0 out of 5 stars 3 ratings

Developing resilience. Do we bounce back or battle through?

Do we bounce back or battle through? Developing resilience.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars. Kahlil Gibran

Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress – such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors.

The five pillars of resilience are self-awareness, mindfulness, self-care, positive relationships, and purpose. If we strengthen these five pillars we strengthen our capacity for resilience.

Clinical psychologist Meg Jay in her book “Supernormal” shares essential tips on how we can become more resilient.

1. First, recognize that your struggle is valid, no matter what you’re struggling with.

Don’t be ashamed of what makes you stressed. “A lot of people say, ‘Well, I wasn’t in a war…’ They have to learn what the most common adversities are and see those as being legitimate chronic stressors.”

2. Then realize the ways you’re already resilient.

“You may not have alcoholism or drug abuse in your home, but I’m guessing you’ve been through something. Think about, ‘What were the three toughest times in my life? How did I get through those things?’ You probably already know something about being resilient.”

3. Don’t wait for the situation to fix itself.

“Resilient people tend to be active copers. They say, ‘What am I going to do about this?’ versus, ‘When will I be released from this?’ It may not be solved overnight, but every problem can be approached somehow.”

4. Know your strengths and use them.

“In general, resilient people tend to use the strengths they have. For different people, those are different. Some people have a great personality. For other people, it’s smarts or some sort of talent or a real work ethic. They use that to grab onto, to get through whatever’s in front of them.”

5. Don’t try to do it alone…

“One of the biggest predictors of faring well after an adversity is having people who cared. One thing that resilient people do is they seek support. It doesn’t have to be a therapist; it could be a best friend or an aunt or a partner. Resilient people actually use other people — rather than not let themselves need them.”

6. …but know that it’s okay not to tell everyone.

“Increase the number and quality of your relationships however you see fit. For some people, that will be, ‘There are two people in the world who know all of what there is to know about me.’ For other people, they’ll want to be known by a bigger community. Love is very powerful, and love is love. The brain doesn’t know one kind of love versus another. It just processes when it has a positive experience with another person. Get out there and feel like there are people who see you and understand you and who care – that’s it. It doesn’t matter where you’re getting that.”

7. Find your favorite way to take a mental break.

“Many people use fantasy or books, or dive into their hobbies, or hang out with their friends to take a mental break from a situation that they cannot solve overnight. You may not be able to fix that problem, but you can protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed by it. As an adult, you can do the same: read a book, pick up your Frisbee, hang out with your friends, turn off the news alerts on your phone. There’s a lot in the world right now that feels overwhelming. Resilient people fight back where they can, but they also learn to take a mental break.”

8. Be compassionate with yourself and realize all the ways adversity has made you strong.

“People who face some adversity in their lives become stronger. Of course, it depends on a lot of other factors — how big is the adversity, how much support do they have, how did they cope — but by learning to cope with stress and having that experience, we gain confidence and we gain preparation. I think sometimes we forget that. You see how you’re broken rather than how you’re strong. Focus on the resilience and see yourself as someone who is even better prepared for life than the average person because you’ve already lived so much of it.”

A good half of the art of living is resilience. Alain de Botton

I like her ideas, there is nothing new in them but then there isn’t much new about life. We cope with what people have always coped with and we struggle with what people have always struggled with.

Businesses are started and end every day. Relationships are started and end, people are born and die. Even though we don’t like tough times it might be the tough times that bring out the best in us. Lots of us would say, we don’t need to be that great, we don’t want to challenge “The greatest generation” for resilience, perseverance, and courage. We were comfortable not facing any remarkable challenges like war or pandemics. Other people have faced great challenges already in their lives but many of us born in peace and plenty have lived lives privileged by our prosperity.

We all hope we will be resilient enough to deal with what happens in our lives. We hope we will continue to improve ourselves, our outlook, and our contribution to our family, community, and the world. Family is the most important group in society and many people believe our society rises and falls with the strength of the family. When we are resilient we teach resilience to our children who teach it to theirs and on down the generations.

If we aren’t resilient, do we also teach that? Resilience doesn’t mean we won’t fail, we won’t make mistakes or bad decisions. It means we will rise seven times when we fall six. We will keep on keeping on and if at first, we don’t succeed we will try and try again.

Is resilience a trait, something we just have, or is it something we develop?

When we learn how to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the beautifully broad spectrum of the human experience. Jaeda Dewalt

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill

Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good. Elizabeth Edwards

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

See all 2 images

Supernormal: The Secret World of the Family Hero Paperback – Jan. 15 2019

by Meg Jay  (Author)4.8 out of 5 stars 108 ratings

See all 2 images

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Paperback – Large Print, Aug. 29 2020

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)5.0 out of 5 stars 2 ratings


Helping ourselves and helping others. How do we help the people we most want to help?

How do we help the people we most want to help? Helping others and helping ourselves.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone. Ronald Reagan

My son asked me to go for a walk the other evening. One of the questions he asked me was, “How do I help and encourage the people I want to help and encourage?”

Didn’t we all grow up hearing, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink?” There are examples all around us of people trying to motivate those that can’t seem to be motivated. We are sure their lives could be so much better if?

The first thing we all need to do is deal with the person in the mirror. That is the person we need to work on, that is the person we need to fix. By fixing ourselves we can become an example of someone that went from here to there. We become an example of an action that can be taken and results that can come from that action.

If we really want to try and help people we need to listen to them and understand them. When we listen to people we may learn that our dream for them isn’t anything like their dream for themselves. Maybe part of the problem is they don’t feel accepted for who they are. Maybe all our encouragement to be someone or something they are not is making them feel less accepted instead of more accepted.

We might find people don’t want to be our fixer-upper project. One of the easiest ways to turn a friend into an enemy is by offering them advice they don’t want to hear. Sometimes even though people need help we are not the help that they need and we are getting in the way of them getting the help that would benefit them.

One of the hardest things we may do is accept people how they are. It is what we need to do if we want to be friends. If they ask for advice we should give it but we shouldn’t be giving unsolicited advice, it is rarely appreciated. We need to take the attitude, I’m okay and you are okay. I will work on what I think I need to work on and you will work on what you think you need to work on. If you want my help you will ask for it, and if I can I will give you that help. If I can’t give you the help you need it is best if you find someone that can.

Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours. Les Brown

If we really want to help people we need to find a way to encourage them to help themselves. I’m looking at a blog on helping the poor and the author says, “Charities can accept an apple from one man, and give it to another, Capitalism plants apple trees.”

Is teaching people to fish how we can help people? How do we do this in our families, communities, cities, countries, and world? If we start trying to help people to do something the person we most wanted to help may say, “Can you teach me how to do that?” All the cajoling in the world wouldn’t get them to that place but seeing other people accomplish something and believing they can accomplish it too, might be what lights a fire under them.

When we see other people doing things we want to do it makes us believe we also can accomplish it. When opportunities present themselves we can avail ourselves of, we may step up. If we take advantage of opportunities and turn those opportunities into something tangible, someone else will see they too can turn something, into something more.

Is being the best person we can be, and helping others to help themselves, the best way to impact the people around us?

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. Unknown

There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he be willing to climb himself. Andrew Carnegie

It is no kindness to treat unhappy people as helpless, hopeless, or inadequate, no matter what has happened to them. Kindness is having faith in the truth and that people can handle it and use it for their benefit. True compassion is helping people help themselves. William Glasser

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture, and scroll to the end.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

See all 2 images

Unhealthy Helping: A Psychological Guide to Overcoming Codependence, Enabling, and Other Dysfunctional Giving Paperback – May 16 2016

by Shawn Meghan Burn PhD (Author)

See all 2 images

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Paperback – Large Print, Aug. 29 2020

by Belynda Wilson Thomas  (Author)5.0 out of 5 stars 2 ratings

The compound effect is working in your life. Is it working for you or against you?

The compound effect is working in our life. Is it working against us or for us?

Small, smart choices + consistency + time = radical difference. Darren Hardy

Tonight our Toastmasters Theme is “Looking Forward” where do we see ourselves in five years. It’s a good question and as I am the one introducing the speakers I had to give an answer to be used in my introduction.

In five years I would like to be a Grandma, have more novels published, and have a line of children’s books written, illustrated, and published. I’m beginning to make audacious goals, for too many years I wasn’t willing to commit to any goals at all. What I’ve finally started doing is tracking my progress. In “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy, he says decisions shape our destiny and the effects of our decisions compound.

We’ve all heard if we set aside a little money in our youth and watch it grow through compound interest it will outgrow larger savings at an older age. Our habits compound, if we eat 100 calories more than we burn off every day of our life it will compound into something we aren’t likely to be happy with. If we instead do a little exercise every day of our life that will compound to something we will be happy with.

It seems in life there is no standing still. Although I have a plant in my house that looks like it defies that principle. It has been with me for over thirty years and somehow it never seems to grow. It is growing just enough to keep living and because of its slow growth, it hasn’t outgrown my house.

Since going the route of an Indie Author I’m not waiting for a publisher to tell me if I will be published, or the sales weren’t good enough on my first book so they won’t publish my subsequent books. All I need to do is produce the work, make it as good as I can, and put it out into the world. Where it goes once it is in the world isn’t up to me, at least not entirely.

It’s not the big things that add up in the end; it’s the hundreds of thousands or millions of little things that separate the ordinary from the extraordinary. Darren Hardy

This blog has been going for over two years and its reach has grown but not to anything huge. But, I’ve never had one day where no one read anything on my blog, and to me, that’s quite a big thing. The biggest fear starting out was will anyone read this? I’ve noticed the compounding effect of views over the two years. My monthly views are higher over time. Often we want to see results quicker and slow and steady isn’t good enough. Slow and steady will take us places we can’t imagine if we keep it up.

Remember the experiment with the glass of water where we keep doubling the amount of water and the glass is only half full when the next time it doubles it is full to overflowing. This is one of the reasons we get disheartened when we are watching the small imperceptible growth of one drop becoming two drops, and two drops becoming four until eventually, one half becomes full. Often we give up before we started seeing results thinking it will never become anything at this rate, but because we quit we don’t know what it could have become.

Most bloggers I am told quit at around nine months and after nine months for most people, it hasn’t grown into that much. If we are trying to make a quick buck blogging or writing it is not the way to do it. Most people would make more money working part-time at Wal-Mart than they will from writing their first book. If they keep at it the magic starts to happen and they may end up with something that working at Wal-Mart part-time could never achieve.

Too often we sabotage ourselves by not getting what we want to do, done. We talk ourselves out of it because it’s easier not to do it and we don’t have to risk failure. But, we can’t risk success if we aren’t willing to face failure. Those who do well in life often get the attitude to fail bigger, fail better.

Life is funny and now that I am here at this stage in my life I am realizing I am a late bloomer. It is very satisfying to be here. My children are grown and taking their place so my writing does not take away time and attention from them. I think having an interest is good for my marriage. It’s certainly good for me.

We can rest assured the compound effect is working in our lives. Is it working in a way we are happy with?

The complete formula for getting lucky: Preparation (personal growth) + attitude (belief mindset) + opportunity (a good thing coming your way) + action (doing something about it) = luck. Darren Hardy

A daily routine built on good habits and discipline separates the most successful among us from everyone else. A routine is exceptionally powerful. Darren Hardy

The real cost of a four-dollar-a-day coffee habit over 20 years is $51,833.79. That’s the power of The Compound Effect. Darren Hardy

See this image

The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success Hardcover – Sept. 15 2020

by Darren Hardy (Author)4.7 out of 5 stars 1,135 ratings

See all 2 images

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Paperback – Large Print, Aug. 29 2020

by Belynda Wilson Thomas (Author)5.0 out of 5 stars 2 ratings

Choices and commitment. Are we committed to our choices?

Are we committed to our choices? Choices and commitment.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

He who has a  why to live for can bear almost any how. Friedrich Nietzsche

Sometimes in life one thing happens and another thing happens and we feel like what we are trying to do will never become reality. This is where commitment comes in. If we are committed to our goal, path, dream, family, career, we play whack-a-mole when we have to. We change things but we keep moving forward. This is what commitment is, if we are derailed too easily then maybe it was a wish and a hope but not something we were committed too.

When we plunk our money down to buy a house or property we are usually committed to getting through whatever challenges it takes for the house or property to finally be ours. We will jump through the hoops to make sure the financing goes through. We will get another lawyer; find the insurance company that will ensure the house or property, we will search for the documents or get documents that prove income. Whatever is asked of us we will do because we are committed and the prize at the end is worth all the trouble it took getting there.

We will not be equally committed to everything in our lives. We need a hierarchy of commitments. Everything in our life is not equal and if we want to know what is on our hierarchy list we need to look at what we are spending our time doing?

We always have to make choices in our lives and when we look back on our lives it is colored by the choices we were committed to. Some people become rich because they were committed to the choices and decisions that led them to a wealthy life. Some people are fit because their choices led them there. Some people have a balanced life where they seem to have enough of everything.

Do we choose what kind of life we want to build?. At certain times in our lives, we feel we have no choices to make, we have to live with the choices already made. That is why when we face big choices like who to marry, what type of business, career, or job to pursue, and where to live we need to make good choices.

We always have choices to make. What we choose for dinner impacts our health. What we choose to listen to impacts our frame of mind. Who we spend time with impacts many things. Do we make our choices based on long term goals or short term goals? We might make a terrible choice in a moment that impacts ourselves and others, forever.

We sometimes make choices that impact our lives innocently believing it was just another Sunday, but it was the Sunday that changed our life. We have many of those kinds of days if we look back. The day we met our husband or wife was usually ordinary in many ways but it changed the course of our life. Did we choose to stay where we grew up or leave? Did we choose to buy a home or property and which home and what property impacted our lives? We don’t know where different choices would have taken us.

Commitment is a choice to give up other choices. Scott Stanley

There is no going back, even if we try and move back to our home town.  We aren’t going back to how it was before we left; it is a new choice going forward. We make choices that impact our lives every day. If we think about them too hard we may feel we should not make any choices. We get stuck. We need to have faith in ourselves, faith in those around us, and faith in our ability to deal with obstacles that get in our way. Sometimes we can only choose between two bad choices or two good choices and we have to make the best choice and live with the consequences. We have to have a commitment to the choice and make the best of it. Other times we can choose again.

We can be too committed to the wrong choice, and not committed enough to a good choice. We don’t always know which is which. Life is about making choices and then making the best of those choices. As Kenny Rogers said, “We need to know when to hold em, when to fold em, and when to run.” Knowing this can be one of the hardest things in life.

We won’t always make the best choice. We won’t always be committed to the right things. We won’t always give up on the wrong things when we should. Life will unfold how it does and some of it seems inevitable, like no matter which choice we make it will be the wrong one, or a bad one. Sometimes we can’t look too far ahead because it will frighten us too much. Sometimes we have to take the next small step and then the next one and eventually we can look forward, and we can look back to see how far we’ve come.

Choices and commitment will color our lives. In the end, our lives will be the sum total of what we have chosen and committed to. When we make our choices are we committed to them?

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying “I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Steve Jobs

Some say that our lives are defined by the sum of our choices. But, it isn’t really our choices that distinguish who we are. It’s our commitment to them. Emily Thorne

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture, and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

See all 3 images

The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results Hardcover – Illustrated, April 1 2013

by Gary Keller (Author), Jay Papasan (Author)4.7 out of 5 stars 4,643 ratings


See all 2 images

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Paperback – Large Print, Aug. 29 2020

by Belynda Wilson Thomas (Author)

The power of focus, perseverance, and practice. We overestimate what we can do in a year, and underestimate what we can do in ten.

We overestimate what we can do in a year, and underestimate what we can do in ten.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Your mastery depends on focus, patience, and practice. Not on luck. Robin Sharma

We are told again and again of the power of focus and perseverance. The other night I was watching Utube videos and one caught my eye. It was about the most important thing a Utuber learned. It was the power of focus. He was told by someone he respected he was too scattered in his interests. The advice he was given about his art was to draw the same thing every day. He chose to draw the Australian White Ibis every day and he says it changed the way he looked at things.

I think I understand where he might be coming from. By choosing to write a blog post every day until I got to five hundred blog posts and then cutting down to two posts per week it also changed the way I look at things. When we have to come up with something to say tomorrow, we look at what is going around us in a new way. We are more cognizant of our lives, interactions with others, funny things that happen, and incongruencies in the world. It made me think of questions that don’t have answers, problems that don’t have solutions, and the unintended consequences of what we intended for good.

How much we wish we could change others, but having it come home again that we can only change ourselves. The power of love, kindness, gratitude, and what works in people’s lives. Why are some people always happy? Can we choose to be one of the happy, grateful, optimistic, and encouraging people? Pondering the lives of successful people and how focus, perseverance, and hard work seems to play as much a part as talent and luck. Questioning what makes long, happy, successful marriages. How creativity adds to our lives in big and small ways. The power of books to give us the answers we are seeking.

Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self-criticism. Albert Einstein

One of the reasons I was afraid to start a blog was what would I have to say? It surprised me that wasn’t a problem at all. I now have to accept that the reason I hadn’t gotten to writing all those years when I said I wanted to but didn’t, was because I didn’t, not because I couldn’t.

Many of us may say, I wish I’d kept up that interest, hobby, or skill. Why not pick it back up now? We may think we could have been a big-time author, singer, athlete, or whatever if we’d continued. What if being a big-time author, singer, or athlete is not what is important. What if doing something is what is important, not if we make a lot of money from it or not. The accomplishment of being able to play the instrument at family parties so everyone can have a sing-along is worthwhile. Writing down stories is worthwhile even if they never have a wide audience. Being athletic enough to be fit at every stage in life is worthy in itself. Singing in a church choir is a blessing to everyone that hears the choir, and may add a dimension to our life we didn’t know was missing. Drawing and painting add to our lives even if we never make money from our art. Using our creativity is a gift we give ourselves.

I’m going to try to take the same advice the Utuber got and make a drawing a day. I picked up a sketchbook and drawing pencils to keep in the den where I write so I don’t have to go down to my art room to do it. If we want to do things we can’t make them so big that we won’t do them. Going down to my art room seems like a commitment of hours and if I am going to fit drawing in every day it needs to be easy to do a quick little drawing.

Is there something we should bring back into our lives we enjoyed, or have always wanted to do? Is there a better time than now?

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. Jack Canfield

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. Will Durant

Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results. Denis Waitley

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you will come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, see archives or categories of posts click on the picture, and scroll to the end. Please subscribe, comment, and share.

If you purchase an item through the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? by [Belynda Wilson Thomas]

Follow the Author

Belynda Wilson Thomas+ Follow

Secrets and Silence: What if your biggest secret became public? Kindle Edition

by Belynda Wilson Thomas (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition


 See all formats and editions