Posted on by BWThomas

Being creative is its own reward.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. Sylvia Plath

What an interesting weekend! On Saturday I attended Breakthrough To Writer’s Success put on by the Mississauga Arts Council and hosted the last event of the day, the Self-Publishing Panel.

When we are part of things where we feel out of our league but others think we belong is intimidating, but wonderful. The keynote address was by Eric Walters, who has written 120 books, won over 100 awards, and presented to more than 1.5 million students worldwide. He is a writer who does a lot of research for his books. When he talked about climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, desert sand storms, and co-founding a children’s program in Kenya we were inspired to reach higher.

A woman asked if she could have the seat next to me. She has had the most incredible life as a singer, and event planner, and now wants to write a book. I was amazed sitting beside someone so accomplished I had a little advice to offer as a self-published author.

If we call ourselves writers but haven’t written anything in four years, can we still call ourselves writers? It’s a good question and the woman who was asked this returned to the questioner and told him she started writing again. We have to watch we don’t talk about our writing more than we write.

We can spend our time going to events, book clubs, and writer’s groups without getting any writing done. I’ve done this with art and writing, often I would find myself going to bookstores, buying books on art or writing instead of doing art or writing. It is great to have a library of art and writing books but unless we practice the craft, we don’t progress, and that idea was pushed throughout the day. Writers write and thinking about writing is not writing, it is a faster or slower process for some of us, but persistence is important.

To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it. Kurt Vonnegut

Life is a journey, and where it will take us we cannot know. Inspiring his students by writing about them and where they lived started Eric Walter’s writing journey, and what a journey it has been. The singer I sat beside started as a cast member of, “Jesus Christ Superstar.” It isn’t so much where we start, but where we end up that inspires others. What people overcome, what they learn, and what keeps them going is inspiring.

We are where we are, we’ve done what we’ve done, but the future spreads before each of us, and what we do with it is up to us. Serendipity, luck, and faith play a role, but if it is to be, it is up to me, is also important. Twenty or thirty years will go by whether we do anything or not. We are told, “We can do anything,” but do we believe it? Are we willing to get out of our comfort zone?

If there is something we want to do we haven’t done yet, what is holding us back? If we don’t have what we want and someone tells us no; how is that worse? What if it takes ten no’s to get to yes? What if it takes twenty? What is the worst thing that can happen if we work hard to make our dreams come true? If all our dreams are on the other side of our comfort zone, don’t we have to get out of our comfort zone if we want them to come true and lead a more interesting life?

I’m not advocating giving up day jobs or security, family is still the most important thing, but we still need to grow and develop. Creativity feeds our soul, and finding ways to bring it into our lives is worth it.

Make visible what, without you, might perhaps never have been seen. Oprah Winfrey

A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Elizabeth Gilbert

There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns. Edward De Bono

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Is controlling our anger one of the most powerful practices we can aspire to?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

We are not punished for our anger; we are punished by our anger. In other words, anger is its own karma. Eknath Easwaran

Is unexpressed anger toxic? Is this what leads to a lot of problems in our lives? Is anger management part of our lives, we will get angry and can’t always change what makes us angry, sometimes we have to continue to live with who or what makes us angry.

What made me think about this in part was watching someone erupt at a soccer game in a way that the situation didn’t seem to warrant. A few days later I learned they were going through something they couldn’t control and in that moment their anger at the game made sense to me.

Can we deal with our anger in ways that don’t destroy our lives? Misplaced anger has been part of our history since Cain and Abel. When Cain’s gifts were not acceptable to God but his brothers were, he slew his brother. Life is not fair and it makes us angry but often we don’t take our anger out on who causes us to be angry, we take it out on someone who can’t defend themselves, or we repress it and take it out on ourselves.

Resentment is one of the most destructive forces in our lives. It is cold anger that has settled into the center of our being and hardened our hearts. Resentment can become a way of life that so pervades our words and actions that we no longer recognize it as such. Henri J. M. Nouwen

You don’t have to chase anger out of you. You allow it to be in you, you embrace it tenderly, and then anger will subside, and the danger is overcome. During the practice you have helped anger, and it will be transformed slowly. This practice enables you to acknowledge your anger with a smile. Thich Nhat Hanh

One of the reasons I think we have freedom of speech is because angry speech is one way to dissipate anger, and if it isn’t dissipated it will present itself in another way. We might hate it when a protest of one kind or another, that we aren’t a part of, or sympathizer to, interrupts our day, but letting protesters protest may lead to more peaceful relationships than pent-up anger.

The question then becomes how can we handle our anger so it doesn’t become toxic? Is the vitriol that comes out during elections good for society and repressing it would be bad? Is this why some leaders become so powerful, they tap into our anger, and good ones use this power for positive change, but what of malevolent ones? Who gets to decide what is a positive change and what is malevolent?

If we can’t find ways to control and dissipate our anger is it a weapon others will find a way to use against us? How can we harness the power of anger and have it be a force for good in our lives? If we can see undesirable situations as a reflection of our faults and shortcomings will this help us become better and not bitter? We all have to face disappointment and anger in our lives and is how we deal with it one of the most important decisions in our lives?

It is easy to fly into a passion – anybody can do that – but to be angry with the right person to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. Aristotle

An angry man is allowing power to rise against him and enslave him, but when he learns to control these tremendous sources of power, he can use them to meet the most formidable challenges of the day and to make his greatest contribution to those around him. Eknath Easwaran

I have learnt through bitter experience the one supreme lesson to conserve my anger, and as heat conserved is transmuted into energy, even so our anger controlled can be transmuted into a power which can move the world. Mahatma Gandhi

Thank you for reading this post, and I hope you will return and read more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Oh Canada! Our home and native land. Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

I have one love – Canada one purpose – Canada’s greatness, one aim – Canada’s unity from the Atlantic to the Pacific. John Diefenbaker

Oh, Canada! Our home and native land.  What can we each do to build Canada? Alone we can do so little but together we can do so much, what can we do, and if we work together what can we accomplish?

We live in a time when it seems grumbling is becoming a national pastime. We can all see the problems, but who is looking for, and at solutions?

John A. McDonald got a railroad built but he wasn’t perfect so we almost don’t dare mention his name. Could we build a national railroad now, with all the impact studies required?

We live in a time when taxing cow farts is how we deal with climate change. Is this what passes for a big idea these days?

Solutions are created at one level and problems at another level, and we will continue to progress and deal with the problems produced if we want progress to continue. We might not all agree on what progress looks like isn’t this one of the problems we face?

Laying a railroad from sea to shining sea was a big idea, going to the moon was a big idea, and creating a health care system so people didn’t need to die from lack of medical care was a big idea. Solving climate change is a big idea but also it’s just a bunch of small things we all must do, and no one will get credit for solving the problem.

Solving homelessness is a big idea, and if we let home builders build they can solve the problem, but they have to build on some of the best farmland in Canada, so everyone is not on board, and who pays to house the homeless?

Our hopes are high. Our faith in the people is great. Our courage is strong. And our dreams for this beautiful country will never die. Pierre Trudeau

What are the big and small ideas Canada needs over the decades and centuries to come? Part of what we all need to do is keep our families strong so they are not part of the burden. If every family looks after their responsibilities to the children they bring into the world can this go a long way toward solving the brokenness we see on our streets? Individual responsibility is the cornerstone of our society and every society. We can change ourselves, but what we want to do is get those people over there to change, that’s hard, and only if we can appeal to other people’s self-interest is it likely to work.

What makes a good society, and what makes a bad one? Can we keep the good and mitigate the forces that create a society we don’t want? But, we don’t all agree on what a good society looks like, and we don’t agree on how to go about building it.

We are sorting out a lot of things in Canada. We have differing ideas, and I believe, we will figure it out to the extent possible. I think fondly of the cows on the farm, farts and all. We have challenges ahead of us, but we have challenges behind us we figured out. Why should we think we can’t face what is ahead and continue to build Canada, a home for all who live here and a beacon of hope to the world, a country that deals with challenges, missteps, promises, and potential?

Happy Canada Day!

If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. Lao Tzu

A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence. Jim Watkins

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do. Bruce Lee

Thank you for reading this post, please come back and read some more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Don’t worry, be happy, but do your due diligence and pick a leader.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be. Unknown

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Our two-year-old grandson says to us.” Does he know what he is saying? It is some of the best advice because what does worry do? If we have a problem we need to fix worrying about it doesn’t help.

If we don’t look after the things we need to look after worrying about what we didn’t do won’t help. If we take care of everything worrying won’t help. Often, I worry about things that aren’t in my control which is not an effective use of mental energy.

We worry about the weather, the economy, and how our cities and countries will be run, but when we have the hard task of deciding who will lead them do we get out and make the difference we can make?

If we manage our lives effectively does that mean we will worry less? Isn’t that what all the books are telling us to do? Take care of what you can today and don’t worry about tomorrow because if we look after today, tomorrow will look after itself.

Too often I spend my time thinking about what someone else should be doing or not doing instead of cleaning my doorstep. It’s time to vote for a new mayor in Mississauga, and I have no idea who to vote for. One candidate came to our door and spoke to me. He asked if he could put a sign on the lawn and I said yes.

Putting his sign on the lawn doesn’t mean he has my vote, it means he’s contacted me. But as the days get closer to the election I seem no closer to knowing who to vote for. Everyone seems to be in the same boat at an event on Saturday. We probably have a competent group running to be Mayor but which one will make the best Mayor?  It’s my job to cast my vote, and everyone else’s to cast theirs and whoever gets the job will guide us forward.

Choosing one’s leaders is an affirmation that the person making the choice has inherent worth. Linda Chavez

We are lucky, people want to take on the often thankless job of leadership. No leader will make all the people happy. We know in our own lives we don’t always make the best decisions, we don’t always act in the best way, but what we do is not scrutinized by everyone.

What if someone scrutinized every word we said, every action we take or have ever taken, and spun our words into saying things we didn’t mean? It takes courage to be a leader and leaders often pay a heavy price.

One of the mistakes we make is expecting more of others than we do of ourselves. We are all flawed humans, so our leaders are flawed as well, but they do the best they can, with the information they know to help the most amount of people. Will everyone be happy, of course not. What do we do with competing interests that are not compatible?

If we are lucky enough to have the chance to vote for our leaders we need to appreciate the privilege and responsibility we have, and we need to appreciate the sacrifices they’ve made to take on the mantle of responsibility.

Don’t worry, be happy, but do your duty and pick a leader, knowing they won’t be perfect, but chances are they will do their best, at great cost to themselves to lead a city, province, or country.

Leadership has a harder job to do than just choose sides. It must bring sides together. Jesse Jackson

The moment we believe that success is determined by an ingrained level of ability as opposed to resilience and hard work, we will be brittle in the face of adversity. Joshua Waitzkin

If there is dissatisfaction with the status quo, good. If there is ferment, so much the better. If there is restlessness, I am pleased. Then let there be ideas, and hard thought, and hard work. If man feels small, let man make himself bigger. Hubert H, Humphrey

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Access your creativity and live a life that inspires you

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have. Maya Angelou

On Saturday, I attended the Cranberry Christmas Market hosted by the Mississauga Arts Council. To be part of the creative community is wonderful, and humbling. At the table beside us, a craftsman was selling wooden spoons and forks made using an axe and knives.

At another table, a gentleman was selling hand-made wooden pens and he included the story behind the wood in each pen. I bought one, and it is from a 250-300-year-old black oak that stood beside the rose garden in the Royal Botanical Gardens in Burlington, Ontario. I like the story as much as the pen, but the pen is wonderful to hold and write with. There were hand-crafted items of all sorts, jewelry, soap, hand-dyed yarn, decorative items, knitting, art, and books, and I’m sure I’ve left out some. Choirs entertained us and incredible musicians played chamber music. At our table, we were three authors representing the Mississauga Writers Group.

The craftsmanship in the items on display was amazing; one of the reasons to visit these markets is to get an idea of the array of crafts other people are creating. We might see something we want to purchase, but also items we would like to create. When there is a story behind an item it is more impactful to me, than if it is just the item.

The blankets I knit at Mom’s will be treasured because of the story behind them more than the craftsmanship, but when we make things there is a story behind each one. It might not be a story that would grab someone else, but when we look at the item we will be brought back to what we were doing and our mindset when we made it.

It’s no good being too easily swayed by people’s opinions. You have to believe in yourself. Donatella Versace

Creativity is a gift we give ourselves. I watch my daughter and grandson paint and the object is not what he creates, he loves the doing. Sometimes we think the treasure is the object we create, but the real treasure is what being creative does for us.

On Friday, we had a girls-night at a friend’s house and she showed us slippers she’s knitting for her family. What a lovely thought everyone will be wearing hand-knit slippers, knit by their mom, grandma, sister, or mother-in-law. What a special Christmas this will be, and how precious will those little slippers be as a keep-sake for her twp-and-a-half-year-old grandson? She also showed us a scarf she’s been knitting for her daughter, fine knitting, with beautiful yarn. It is truly a labor of love.

A fellow author at our table crocheted star bookmarks. What a lovely idea and one I might copy. The other author at our table has kept the blankets she made for her children and wishes she’d kept the sweaters knit for them by her mother. Often we are cleaning up, getting rid of what is no longer being worn, and we don’t think of the treasure we put in the bag to be given away or thrown out. We all probably have items we’ve given away or thrown out we’d love to have back, because of the story behind them.

If I’m lucky, I will get to knit more items at Mom’s, and help her finish her last quilt. If Mom hadn’t taught me to crochet on my last visit, I would look at the crocheted bookmarks as a great idea, but not one I would create myself.

Being crafty has pitfalls, we need to find a repository for what we create, or we might become overwhelmed by our creations. The more we create the more we want to create, and I’ve wondered how some authors are so prolific but now I know, they love writing, and when they finish one project they start another one, and over time it adds up.

I’m not sure it matters what we create, what is most important is we find some form of creativity that feeds our soul, and if we end up making a little money at it, so much the better.

If we can’t use creativity up, the more we do, the more we can do, and the more we want to do, are we as creative as we want to be? Is there a creative project we’d love to start, what’s holding us back?

Don’t wait for inspiration. It comes while working. Henri Matisse

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. Sylvia Plath

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun. Mary Lou Cook

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone who reads my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Books written by members of the Mississauga Writers Group at the event:

Posted on by BWThomas

Learning and growing, teaching and being taught, is there a better way to live a life?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from everyone. Anonymous

Can we learn something from everyone we meet?

How do we square having more than enough against knowing some don’t yet have enough?

If we are lucky enough to live in abundance, surrounded by peace and plenty, do we have something to teach others? Can everyone live in abundance, surrounded by peace and plenty? Are we moving toward this or away from it?

If we look around and see other people living better lives than we are, can we emulate them so their ways become our ways? Is mentorship how we pass things on to others and learn what we don’t know?

If we learn the best practices from everyone we meet, how good can our lives become? What if, instead of envying others for their accomplishments, we learn from them and become eternal students learning and growing throughout our lives? One of the ways we can do this is to be part of organizations that are comprised of diverse groups who have different things to teach us.

By joining organizations, we can meet people we wouldn’t meet any other way. Our only point of commonality may be that we are part of the same organization, and Toastmasters is that kind of organization. Everyone who joins Toastmasters wants to improve something about their lives, and this is a great meeting point because when we see others improving their lives and telling their stories, we begin to think we can have bigger lives as well.

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more you are a leader. John Quincy Adams

We might listen to a speech on helping the poorest of the poor, how bringing smiles to faces and making a difference in lives brought more meaning to the giver’s life than they thought possible.

People know what works in their lives, and advice taken to heart and implemented will work in ours. If we learn from other’s mistakes instead of making those mistakes ourselves, can we spare ourselves a lot of grief?

If we learn the best things from everyone we meet and implement the best practices into our lives, will we make a difference in our lives and those we love?

We can get this knowledge from books and podcasts because many books and podcasts are about building our best lives. But, when we meet people doing it, we might believe we can do it too instead of thinking there is something special about who we are reading about or listening to.

Being part of a group, whether a religious or secular group, might bring us closer to turning philosophy into action. An idea is just an idea rolling around in our head if we don’t put action into making it a reality. We might have the best ideas rolling around in our minds, but if they only remain ideas, will they impact our lives?

Do we have mentors in our life and are we a mentor to others? What if we don’t limit ourselves to mentors who look like us, or believe what we believe, what if we really can learn something from everyone?

We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. Jesse Owens

When you’re intentional, you can add value to everything you do and to every person you meet. John C. Maxwell

Success is not to be pursued. It is to be attracted by the person you become. Jim Rohn

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone who reads my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Perfection is unattainable, but good, that is something to work toward.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Good enough is good enough. Perfect will make you a big fat mess every time. Rebecca Wells

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. This popped into my mind this morning as I walked down the stairs. Unions are pushing workers to strike, or are workers pushing the unions to strike? Isn’t pushing for higher and higher wages going to make robotics more attractive?

Yesterday, I listened to a show discussing Tesla and other automakers and how non-unionized Tesla workers are becoming millionaires because of stock options.

I remember when I first moved to Mississauga I worked for a small bank, and union organizers were approaching the workers. We had a meeting and the bank management was detailing what we as workers might lose if we unionized. A few years later I met someone whose business was to unionize companies. I never got the idea his goal was to make it better for workers, he was lining his own pockets with union dues.

I think we have to be careful about who we think has our best interests at heart. As a small business owner, I know keeping a business going is the business owner’s main objective. This might sound terrible but without the business, there isn’t anything for anyone. The owners lose, the workers lose, the shareholders lose, the communities lose, and we all lose. We have to protect the goose that lays the golden egg. Business is that goose.

Some in our society don’t want parents to know what pronouns their children are using in school and is this because parents are the children’s worst enemy? Is this where we are today? Families aren’t perfect because people aren’t perfect but what do we want to do, have children grow up without a family because they won’t have a perfect one?

Don’t try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough. Arthur Freed

There are some ideologies out there that feel anything less than perfection isn’t good enough. But, we’ve never had perfection and for the most part, things work pretty well. We need to be able to live with good enough. Good enough businesses, with good enough leadership, and good enough families that build good enough communities. Because good enough is way better than where looking for perfection might lead us.

Some people will tell us that we are not aiming high enough if we settle for good enough. We won’t all agree on what good enough is, but I think a good definition is the point past which putting more resources into something won’t improve it in a meaningful way. Plastic surgery is where we see going for perfection ends in disaster.

What does a good enough society, business, or family look like? In my opinion, good enough is a pretty high bar, it isn’t a low bar which I think some people see it as. To be a good enough person is something to strive for, it isn’t something that comes easy because where there are obvious improvements to make, we aren’t good enough.

Who gets to decide what’s good enough for someone else? Do we need to be patient, and above all to be patient with ourselves?

And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good. John Steinbeck

You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. Louise Hay

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. Norman Vincent Peale

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Building on our strengths, while we work on our weaknesses is this the secret to success?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Building your talents into real strengths also requires practice and hard work, much like it does to build physical strengths. Tom Rath

Do we focus on our strengths or our weaknesses? Tonight, I am giving a speech to Speechcrafters; this group is taking a six-week course in public speaking with Toastmasters. My speech will be about putting humor in speeches.

I’m one of the least funny speakers, and I’ve found there is nothing as unfunny as trying hard to be funny. As I’ve put this speech together I’ve come across some things that make sense to me about humor.

A female comic says no one comes up to her after her routine and asks for her number, but the male comics have throngs of women wanting to date them. It seems men like women who laugh at their jokes, and women like men who make them laugh. Over the years the humor in a relationship changes, but sharing a laugh is no less important. Whereas during courtship men were the humor producers and women the appreciators, in long-term relationships it can be harmful for men to use humor. When women are the humorous partner it seems relationships thrive.

One of the reasons is men often use disparaging humor directed at others, whereas women use self-deprecating humor, which might bring relief to a tense situation. Women who use humor report greater marital satisfaction. According to Dr. John Gottman, one of the best ways for wives to lower their husband’s heart rate is to crack a joke to relieve tension, and couples who deescalate the conflict in this way are more likely to have a stable marriage.

As relationships progress a man’s humor becomes less important and a woman’s sense of humor becomes a blessing. In the beginning, it was about attracting a mate but after marriage, it is about sympathy and attunement to the other person’s feelings and perspectives. A genuine laugh is one of the best and most honest ways to convey, I’m with you, and we are in this together.

Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves. Joyce C. Lock

A few years ago I volunteered to be part of a comedy night. I’d always wanted to try it and when the opportunity presented itself I took it. I worked hard putting together material, and bought a couple of books like, “The Comedy Bible.” I prepared, knew my material, and didn’t get one laugh. But, I did get compliments on my material, along with a few pointers from funny men who got a lot of laughs.

Tonight I’m going to tell new Toastmasters to focus on putting together a good speech, not to focus on telling jokes, but to tell true stories that the audience can relate to. They might get a laugh, they might not, but either way, it is okay.

If humor is not our strength and we work hard to give humorous speeches we might sacrifice what we are good at. If we work hard to give speeches that focus on our strengths and we get a laugh that’s a win for everyone.

We should do this in our lives; focus on our strengths and not our weaknesses. When we focus on our weaknesses we often forget to work on our strengths and we try to become someone we are not. We become the proverbial square peg in a round hole.

We only have so much time and energy, and how we spend it will determine our results. If we spend our time trying to become better at what we will never be best at, is that as good as focusing on what we are already good at and improving that?  If we focus on our strengths I think we will have a better life than if we focus on our weaknesses, and we shouldn’t discount small improvements that add up to significant improvements over time.

Build on your strengths, work on your weaknesses. Minh Tan

You cannot build performance on weaknesses. You can build only on strengths. Peter Drucker

Sometimes we’re tested not to show our weaknesses, but to discover our strengths. Sasha Gollish

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone who reads my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Choices in actions and choices in attitude, we are blessed if we have the ability to choose.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Life is a chess match. Every decision that you make has a consequence to it. P.K. Subban

Do we get to, want to, have to, or should do things in our lives, and do how we look at these things change them? I have to water my dahlias becomes I get to water my dahlias. I have to phone Mom becomes I get to phone Mom. It won’t be long and watering dahlias won’t be an option, they will be done for the year, but I can enjoy them now. 

We cannot turn every have-to into a want-to. Sometimes we just have to do it and get it over with and go about our life. Do we have to go for a walk, usually not, but we may want to, or think we should, and if we are lucky we get to. There are people who do not get to say,” Let’s go for a walk,” because they are unable to walk. How lucky are we if we can and do? Many people cannot water or weed their gardens because they do not have one. Not everyone gets to cook today, some because they are not able; because they are no longer in their own home, and some because they have no food to cook.

We may have things on our list we don’t want to do, but feel we should, we must, or we have to do. Is our life the sum of the choices we have made? If we want a better life do we need to make better choices? What if we chose to go for a walk every day? What if we chose to eat for health? The two choices that lead to the greatest amount of happiness in our lives I think are the choice of who we choose as a spouse and what we choose as our livelihood. Perhaps if we realized what a momentous choice it was when we made them we would be so filled with fear we wouldn’t make a choice at all. We make our choices and then we live with them and hopefully make the best of them.

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you. John C. Maxwell

When we visit somewhere with breathtaking vistas of mountains, oceans, and scenery that take our breath away we think what would our lives be like if we could live here? Life would still be life with all its challenges but does living amongst beauty add to our lives? There is beauty everywhere if we look for it. It might not be the grandeur of snow-covered mountain peaks, but we can stroll in a park, a public garden, or if we are lucky our own garden.

Having our own garden to sit in is a joy; to be surrounded by greenery and flowers gives us a lift. My garden needs tending because the weeds are taking over, and if we let them they do take over. If we weed every week it isn’t that daunting but with going away and not weeding since we got back I have to get out there and create order out of chaos.

I wonder if our life isn’t always moving towards one of two extremes, too orderly, or too chaotic. Too orderly has never been one of my failings and I’ve sometimes thought it might be better to be too orderly than too chaotic if one had to choose, but too orderly may be harder to live with. It is finding the balance that is the challenge.

Choices, choices, choices, if we are lucky we have choices to make, if we are wise we make the right ones. The challenge is to know which choice will be the best one over time. Tonight I can work in the garden or go to the gym but doing both will be a challenge. I think the garden should win out. I could have weeded this weekend but Saturday it rained, and yesterday we had visitors. I could have, I would have, I should have, but I didn’t do it so it is still to be done. I get to, I want to, I have to, and I should, so I will and then it will be done until it needs to be done again.

Is making our lives better as easy as choosing what is the next thing we must do, can do, should do, get to do, or want to do and then do it?

The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your decisions. Ray Dalio

The hardest decisions in life are not between good and bad or right and wrong, but between two goods or two rights. Joe Andrew

Nothing happens until you decide. Make a decision and watch your life move forward. Oprah Winfrey

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Thank you to everyone that reads my books, and a special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Life happens to all of us, how we react to it is what we control

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that counts. It’s the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes things happen that jerk us up short and we feel mortal. Someone younger than us, considered healthy or healthier than us, dies of a heart attack. A relative is in the hospital with something that seemed to come out of nowhere. We wonder if this could happen to us too, and of course, we know the answer is yes. We aren’t special; we don’t have some protective magic protecting us from the hard things in life.

We realize that health really is our first wealth, and what should we do to be healthier? What do we want to accomplish, if retirement is looming we wonder what will we do with our time no longer taken up by working. Do we have a passion to pursue, an interest to discover, or a hobby to take up? If we are alone we may wonder if we have another thirty or forty lonely years ahead of us, if we aren’t alone we worry about when we might be.

If we’ve watched our parents as they’ve aged and they’ve had reasonable health, reasonable resources to live on, and had hobbies and interests then aging may not be as scary for some of us as it is for others. Getting old is not fun but it’s the best option we have, and if we can do it gracefully, and healthily with mind and body intact it may be an enjoyable stage in life.

We’ll need to trust that we can keep ourselves healthy enough, and have enough income to more than scrape by. In old age, I think financial security is a big thing because we aren’t in most cases able to physically make more money but our investments can produce fruit. We aren’t planting the money trees anymore but we can harvest them.

We might not be having big adventures when we reach advanced age, but we are watching our children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren have theirs. If our family is doing well we will feel grateful and blessed. No one only gets blessings to be grateful for, everyone gets challenges to overcome, deal with, and make the best of.

Don’t try to add more years to your life. Better add more life to your years. Blaise Pascal

Is trusting we can get through all of life and deal with the trials and tribulations that come along with the joys the way to look at life? If we can believe whatever comes we can deal with, whether highs or lows it will be better for us. We may think why someone doesn’t do this or that to improve their health, wouldn’t it be better if they ate this way or that way? If there truly is a better diet we should follow it to be an example of what is possible, giving advice might make us feel better, but what do we know about their health? We need to trust them to make the best decisions for themselves, and even if we know they aren’t making the best decisions, it’s their life. They will seek out advice that may help them or not, it is their life, not ours. We need to be our own control board, but we can’t be someone else’s.

I am trying to curb my advice-giving ways. Who am I to know how someone else should live, what decisions they’ve had to make, what they have to deal with? It is probably better if we can be with people where they are and encourage them to do what they can do, not what we think they should do. This might be the hardest way to support them, to keep our opinions and advice to ourselves while we support them in their time of need.

Sometimes we know the outcome is not good. In truth, we know the outcome is not good for all of us; we will all have to face the reality of our own demise. Is the best way to face our death making the most of our life? I didn’t mean for this to be a morbid post. But, death is part of our reality, our own, and those we love. How can we live so when the time comes we are ready, we’ve made the best of the time we’ve had? We made phone calls while we could, we visited when possible, we laughed and held hands, encouraged others, and let them encourage us. It isn’t only about living more years, but putting more life into our years that counts.

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life will always be hectic and complicated. Stop waiting for life get easier or better in order to be happy. Learn to be happy now. Karen Salmansohn

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Charles R. Swindoll

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read some more. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you to everyone that reads my books, and a special thank you to those that leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.