Posted on by BWThomas

Building a rich life at any age, we might have more choices than we think.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Clutter isn’t just the stuff in your closet; it’s anything that gets between you and life that you want to be living. Peter Walsh

A rich life is about more than money, and the richest lives are built on the things money can’t buy. Money can’t buy love, friends, health, purpose, passion, honor, character, children, grandchildren, and other priceless things we want in our lives. It can buy a lot, and I’ve never had to worry if someone liked or loved me for my money or status they got from being around me. I’ve never hung around people who I got status from, and when we love the people we love because of who they are, not what they can do for us, that’s part of a rich life.

The joy grandchildren bring is richness money can’t buy. We don’t get to go to the grandchildren’s store and pick out the cutest ones. We have to count on our children to give us this gift, and count on our grandchildren to give us great-grandchildren. As long as the generations continue, this is the richness money can’t buy.

We can’t buy health, we can perhaps preserve it, and prolong it. But we can’t buy it, and no amount of health care expenditures will fix poor health. Access to health care is important, but health without healthcare is where richness lies. Healthcare insurance is like car insurance; we need it, but don’t want to have to use it.

Dad always said, “Too soon old, and too late smart.” If we could go back and seize the opportunities we saw but didn’t recognize, recognized but didn’t think we could make work, or thought were for other, smarter, or more courageous people, how would our lives look? Is that a way to be unhappy about our lives, when what we might need to do is be grateful things worked out as well as they did, and figure out if they haven’t worked out well enough yet, what would make them work out better?

The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t. Marie Kondo

Do we have someone in our lives, someone who knows us and loves us warts and all? Do we have siblings and good friends we can talk about the real things in life with? We don’t have to put on a show. Is there someone we should reach out to, spend more time with, and bring into our circle?

We might think we are too old to do something to make a difference in our lives, but is that true? Is there something nagging at us to start, finish, or get back to that we know would make our lives better?

Is it exercise, learning something new, getting back to something we loved to do but have set aside, reaching out to old friends, or making new ones? Do we need to plan some adventures? Do we need to lighten our load of stuff weighing us down? Last night I went through more books, and found two bags I can give away. But I did what you shouldn’t do after deciding something can be donated. I went through the bags, and only one book is going to be given away. Someone has suggested cutting down to two hundred books. Two hundred books in six categories, writing, art, religion, self-help, history, and miscellaneous is only thirty-three books per category. Getting rid of books is tough. Last night I went through art books, maybe I’ll have better luck in the other categories. If I had to move and could only take two hundred books with me, I would sort and only keep the best of the best. I know it can be done, and if I have to, I’ll do it, but I don’t have to yet.

Creating systems that work is one way to build a rich life. When something new comes into our lives, something has to go to make room for it. What if I have to choose one to eliminate from my collection before I add a new one? This is what they tell us to do with a capsule wardrobe: replace items, instead of adding more, and more, and more.

Will I feel lighter as I cut down the number of books and other possessions I own?

People say lightening their load of stuff gives them freedom to live a bigger life, not a smaller one. Could it be possible that less is more? What if buying less leads to a richer life?

Creating space, decluttering, and evaluating our beliefs about enough helps restore our home to its original purpose: refuge. Lisa Avellan

Time spent minimizing possessions is never wasted. Unknown

Clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions. Barbara Hemphill

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Thank you to those who read my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item I receive a small percentage of the sale, through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Grandkids make life better. They are the silver lining of aging.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

If I’d known grandkids were so much fun, I would have had them first. Unknown

Last week I didn’t put out a blog. We were having hardwood floors installed upstairs, and the railing was taken down. With two little grandkids, it didn’t seem fair to leave my husband to watch them alone while our son-in-law dropped our daughter off to work. I remember when our daughter was small, I turned around and couldn’t find her anywhere. I wondered if my husband took her with him, but he wouldn’t do that without telling me.

Frantically, I searched the house, finally finding her in our closet quietly playing. I could finally take a breath. With the railing down, I had visions of one of our grandchildren sitting on the top of the open floor, their feet dangling down, saying, “Look at me, Grandma.” One of the things I feared most was that our grandson would get up early, come upstairs, and go exploring. I slept in the family room so I would hear him if he came upstairs.

Accidents happen quickly, we can’t protect our kids from everything, and overprotecting parents aren’t good, but finding the happy balance is tricky. I grew up on a farm, one of the most dangerous places, and the town industry was a lumber mill, another dangerous industry.

Is it true what doesn’t kill us makes us strong? I’ve heard self-made people say the biggest gift they were given was to grow up in poverty. They only say it because they overcame it. Our childhoods shaped us in ways we might not even recognize. Some of us might live a life striving toward something, and others might strive to overcome something. We might not be able to articulate the driving forces in our lives; do we want to emulate our parents or live lives as different from them as possible?

A grandchild is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart. Unknown

Who we had in our lives as children shaped us. Did we grow up without a father or mother, or without grandparents, and how did that impact our lives? Did we grow up in big messy families or small close ones? Did family dynamics work, or do toxic relationships impact our lives? We can’t escape our past; it is always with us and colors our lives in ways we can’t recognize, but we still have choices to make.

I was listening to a podcast on retiring, and grey divorce came up. Women over sixty-five who get a divorce and are grandmothers report a high level of happiness. I don’t think this means getting a grey divorce brings happiness; I think it means being a grandmother brings happiness that a grey divorce and diminished finances don’t eliminate.

One of the things many people have to face is being alone as they get older, either because of divorce or the death of a spouse. It is a fact, and if we have to face it, we may as well face it with as much positivity as possible. Things happen in life that we can’t control. Being alone in old age happens, and we are either the one who leaves or the one who is left behind as friends, spouses, and siblings pass away.

My aunt always said she wanted to live till she died, and die all at once. I share her sentiment, and even though it is not up to us, staying as healthy as possible might be the antidote to a long, debilitating end. I think of Mom and her morning exercises, which she kept up until about age ninety-seven.

Our grandson asked me if I had a ballerina jewelry box. I told him I had one, but I left it at Mom’s. He said, “Can you go to her house and get it?”

I said, “No, Grandma’s gone, and so is her house.”

He said, “Did you love her lots?”

I said, “Yes.”

He said, “Do you still?”

We have profound conversations, and I wonder where this comes from. The other day, he said his aunt should get a husband. Someone said why? He said, “So she’ll be happy.”

He talks about husbands and wives a lot. We wonder where his little nuggets of wisdom come from. Life with grandchildren is so much fun. We want to protect them from danger, but we also have to give them the freedom to grow and develop into the men and women they will become. It’s a delicate balance, and we won’t know how well we managed it until they are grown up and take their place in the world. Our son tells us he’s surprised to see how much joy grandchildren bring into our lives, and I’m surprised he’s surprised. But he isn’t a father yet, and when he is, he’ll understand.

Being a Grandma is so much fun, it is the silver lining in aging, and I feel sorry for everyone who has to live without the warm embrace of a grandchild as they sail into the later years of life.

Grandchildren just make you feel better when you are around them. They’re sunshine for your soul and medicine for your mind. Unknown

A grandchild fills a space in your heart you never knew was empty. Unknown

Grandchildren give us a second chance to do things better because they bring out the best in us. Unknown

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Riding the dragon, facing our challenges, and becoming better, not bitter.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Inside of every problem lies an opportunity. Robert Kiyosaki

I heard a Chinese proverb about riding the dragon, “If you ignore the dragon, it will eat you. If you try to confront the dragon, it will overpower you. If you ride the dragon, you will take advantage of its might and power.”

If we ignore our problems, they do not go away; often, they grow bigger and bigger. We might be better off learning to deal with the forces in our lives rather than fighting them. There may even be something positive in a negative that, if we overcome it, will build a better life.

If we listen to motivational speakers, they often overcame something, which is why they have a motivational message for the rest of us. We might not have a dragon in our lives that will lead us to greatness, but when we see people who have overcome challenges, obstacles, and situations, it makes us believe we, too, can face those challenges and learn to ride the dragon.

If we ignore the dragon, it will eat us. There are many ways this is true; we ignore things at our peril. My book collection has become a dragon, and one of my bookshelves broke under the weight of the books. I can buy another bookshelf, or I can edit my books. Buying more bookshelves for more and more books can become a hoarding situation. What if I limit my books to those that will fit on the four bookshelves in the den? Limiting our tendencies to excess might be one way to tame our dragon.

If we try to confront the dragon, it will overpower us. This might be about challenging powerful forces without a strategy, or being the lone voice trying to change things.

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. Confucius

Learning to ride the dragon so we have access to its might and power is a challenge, but what if it’s possible?

Poverty, and all the isms are dragons, and many people overcome obstacles in their lives to build a life no one thought they could build. How often do we see people living in easy situations, wallow in their ease, and not do much with their lives, while someone with something to overcome overcomes it and soars, as if on the wings of a dragon?

Ignoring what needs to be dealt with might be one of the worst things we do in our lives. Small problems ignored become big problems, and one of the best ways to build a good life is to look after the small things. What if not looking after the small things is what leads to a lesser life? Weeds in the garden, clutter, and overspending all seem like problems that start small but can overwhelm us.

But what of those problems that are too big or too powerful to control? AI and robotics seem like dragons we’ll need to learn to ride. There are two ways to deal with a dragon: one way, you ride it, harnessing the power; the other way, you kill it. How can we learn to ride the dragons in our lives, political dragons, economic dragons, social dragons, and personal dragons?

Maybe we thought slaying dragons would make us powerful, but what if riding dragons is where the real power lies, and the more we confront the challenges in front of us, the smaller they become?

You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory. J. Donald Walters

You’re trying to escape from your difficulties, and there never is any escape from difficulties, never. They have to be faced and fought. Enid Blyton

Confronting problems is choosing to suffer now in the hope of future gratification rather than choosing to continue present gratification in the hope that future suffering will not be necessary. M. Scott Peck

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the purchase price.

Posted on by BWThomas

Waiting, waffling, and wondering aren’t how we build a good life.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. Tony Robbins

In life, it isn’t just what happens, it’s when it happens. For instance, if you have a million dollars and get an eight percent return, you can’t figure out how that will play out by calculating a million dollars by eight percent per year, because you don’t know when the gains and losses will occur, which affect the actual return. The sequence of returns, when we get the ups and downs, will affect whether a million dollars at eight percent with a forty thousand per year withdrawal will have us broke in less than twenty years, or have ten million after forty years.

We have to live life, take the chances, and see where it goes. How many people, who finally decide to get married, start a business, have kids, or do something else they’ve wanted to do, wish they’d started sooner? There is only so much preparation one can do before we need to get on with the business of life.

Some of us are thinking we’ll wait one more year, but what do we think we will get for waiting? One more year of waiting to get married might mean it’s harder to have children, buy a house, or make decisions to build the best life. One more year waiting to retire might mean taking the long-awaited adventures without our partner, or not being able to take them at all. Life waits for no one; we need to seize our moments.

My husband and I found each other at age twenty-one, but we didn’t get married until we were twenty-seven. How might our lives have progressed if we’d made decisions earlier? House prices more than doubled in the time we were sitting on the fence.

I see how much energy it takes to look after grandchildren. We don’t become more patient and fun as we get older, and what if I’d become a grandma in my fifties instead of my sixties? My four-year-old grandson brings his chocolate milk and says, “Let’s do a cheer.” Then he hugs me and says, “I love you, Grandma.” He then goes to his Grandpa and repeats the process. These are precious moments, and I am blessed to have them in my life.

Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right. Phil McGraw

Sometimes I think, what if I had waited too long, I would have missed all this. My son says he is surprised by how much we enjoy our grandchildren, and he might be surprised by how much his sister, his wife’s sister, and husbands are enjoying having kids. He’s missing out, and he knows it.

Life is a series of choices; we can’t do everything, but we need to make decisions to give us choices about the important things. Sometimes I think making a decision is the hardest thing. Deciding for one thing, one person, one house, one business, means saying no to all the other potential choices. Too much choice can cripple us, and if we wait too long to make a choice, there are no choices left to make.

I’ve waffled over choices throughout my life; looking back, I wish I’d had the courage to make a decision and stick to it. We won’t get everything right, and maybe that is where I’m making a mistake. Life is good, but looking back, some better choices would have made it even better.

The question isn’t what choices I would change if I could go back; the question is, what choices do I have to make now? Do we sometimes not recognize the choices we had until we look back? The time for action is always now; there is no other time to make a choice. Waiting, waffling, and wondering aren’t how we build a good life. We might need to correct our course, but we can only do so once we are on it.

When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier. Roy E. Disney

Life is a chess match. Every decision that you make has a consequence to it. P.K. Subben

You cannot make progress without making decisions. Jim Rohn

Thank you for reading this post. Have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

What if we kept our opinions to ourselves and still worked hard to build a better society?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Choose the positive. You have choices, you are master of your attitude, choose the positive, the constructive. Optimism is a faith that leads to success. Bruce lee

What if I gave up my strongest political opinions or at least kept them to myself? What would that do for my relationships? What would we have to talk about if we didn’t talk about what is wrong with… How would I handle it when uncomfortable conversations come up, some people think I am on the wrong side of?

Does it seem like we don’t care if we don’t obsess about what we can’t change? But what if we don’t like the direction things are going in; shouldn’t we stand up and speak out? I don’t know, but I do know arguing about what is wrong in the world, with those we love, doesn’t work. I’m not sure what works. Being on the same side would be easier, but if we don’t see things the same way, we don’t think things mean the same thing, and we aren’t afraid of the same outcomes, how do we handle it?

How do we build a society that is as fair to everyone who is part of it? What does fair look like? It’s fair when everyone has nothing! Is that the kind of fair some want us to move toward? We’ll never have the kind of fair where everyone is rich and powerful, because those who can build something from nothing are a rare breed.

Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you. Choose to stay positive and be the strong person that God created you to be! Unknown

Is it fair to want to hold onto what we have in Canada when parts of the world have it so much worse?  Should people wanting to tear things down have as much power as those who want to build?

Some people ask if democracy works when diverse groups want different things, and all any group needs to take control is a larger population than the groups they want to control.

With the internet, we have ideas flowing; some ideas are terrifying, others merely disturbing. What will happen as these ideas get considered by the general public?

Keeping my opinions to myself is hard, but do I need to comment on everything?

Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. Plato

A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart. Johann Wolfgang

No one else can choose your attitude for you. Your perspective and choice of attitude gives you the power to be in control. Irene Dunlap

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Can we get happier as we age? Is silence the answer?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Silence is a true friend who never betrays. Confucius

Do we need silence and boredom to turn our right brain on? I’ve been doing a boring job, removing wallpaper, and as terrible as it sounds, there is an upside. It’s meditative removing it. I’ve listened to podcasts, but also worked in silence.

If silence is one of the things we need to activate our right brain, which is linked to happiness. Then, turning the TV and our screens off and walking or working in silence will boost our happiness.

I grew up in silence, surrounded by the sounds of nature, and I think when we have time to think, we have a richer inner life than when every moment is full.

I like more silence than my husband, who grew up in cities. He tends to like background noise, which I don’t appreciate. If the TV is on, I want to hear what is being said, or I want it off. I don’t want to sleep with the TV on. I don’t mind watching something in bed, but I want to go to sleep in silence.

Learning to live with people is an art. As we jostle for what we feel we need, we compromise on some things and have to live with others that will never be our way.

Journaling is a practice that leads to greater happiness and peace of mind. Walking in nature is another practice that boosts my mood.

In the silence of the heart, God speaks. Mother Teresa

Aging well is something we should all aspire to. Since aging isn’t an option, we may as well try to enjoy the journey and be as well and as happy as we can manage.

Nothing sounds less appealing than being a long-lived curmudgeon scowling their way through life. I’ve had a couple of miserable days, and sometimes I think, what if that was my life every day? There is no point railing against the things we can’t change, but what about not bothering to do anything about the things we can?

When we don’t eat right, we don’t feel good, not feeling good makes us miserable, and not exercising can increase the pain we feel. Eating well and exercising are the antidotes to building a better life. We might rail against the injustice in the world, which we mostly can’t fix, but if we acknowledge what we can control and what we can’t, is this the beginning of wisdom?

Self-interest sometimes sounds like a bad thing, but improving things for ourselves often improves things for others. If we are strong and healthy and have good relationships, it is good for everyone. We hear about the sandwich generation, parents looking after kids, and their aging parents. Many aging parents who take care of themselves are not a burden, and lighten the burden of child care.

Being able to take care of ourselves to the end, or close to the end, with a cheerful smile and words of encouragement for everyone we meet makes us a blessing to ourselves and others. What if being happier, healthier, and active as we age is possible? A good life is something to aspire to, and might be more in our control than we think.

If more silence makes us happier, maybe Mom’s words are more appropriate than ever: “Turn the idiot box off.”

To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. Lao Tzu

Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom. Francis Bacon

Let silence take you to the core of life. Rumi

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

Our choices build our future; in the fullness of time, we’ll see where they lead.

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Just as love is a verb, so is faith. Nannie Helen Burroughs

I listened to comments about the most dangerous cities in Canada, and I started thinking about when, how, and why they became this way. What could we have done to keep them from becoming this way, and what can we do now?

Drugs have played havoc in our society, and we probably won’t get this genie back into the bottle. I’m wondering if becoming a more secular society and drug abuse are correlated. I can almost hear a collective sigh as I write this. I’ve loved living in a secular society, but I see cracks, and I think we are going too far; indeed, I’ve gone too far.

Too much minding my own business, sweeping my own doorstep, and leaving society to itself has left us with no one picking up the collective pieces. If finding religion is the antidote to some of society’s ills, it at least means fixing things is possible.

Overcoming substance abuse by finding a higher power has long been the power of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I’m thinking collectively, maybe we need to get back to relying on a higher power to power our lives and our families.

What if the power to inoculate our children and grandchildren from substance abuse lies in our choices to give our families religious scaffolding to build on? Life is built one step at a time, and we might not realize the impact of some of our choices. A private faith might buoy us up, but do nothing for our children and grandchildren.

Stand straight, walk proud, have a little faith. Garth Brooks

Secularists will argue that secular societies can exhibit high social stability, and that the decline of religion does not mean society must break down, but if we look at where we are, it is hard to believe there is not a direct correlation.

The choices each of us makes will impact our families, and I’ve been thinking about decisions I’ve made that I wish were different. If we don’t all have decisions we wish were different, I’d be surprised. But if taking our kids to church helps them build a better life, we might be missing out on building resilience that will help them build a good life.

One of the mistakes I’ve made is not thinking about where certain choices take us and thinking about what if we all make the same choices. The problem might be the tipping point of too much secularism. Too much religion and the wrong kind of religion turned a lot of people off religion. Finding a good balance is what we need to do, but it seems we rarely stay in balance; we tip into extremes, and extremes have dire consequences on our society.

If we want a different outcome, do we have to make different choices?

My faith didn’t remove the pain, but it got me through the pain. Trusting God didn’t diminish or vanquish the anguish, but it enabled me to endure it. Robert Rogers

The smallest seed of faith is better than the largest fruit of happiness. Henry David Thoreau

The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith. Billy Graham

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

How is deferred maintenance playing out in our lives?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Excellence is allergic to deferred maintenance. Dave Kline

A stitch in time saves nine. Anyone who knits knows it’s true. We get warnings, but often don’t heed them, and then something worse happens. Over the winter, I’ve been getting something or getting over something, so I got out of my morning exercise routine.

On Saturday, it was beautiful, and my husband and I went outside to do yard work. In the evening, sitting and watching TV, I got a horrendous cramp in my left leg, and it took a bit of stretching and kneading to get rid of it. I kept saying to myself over the winter, I need to get back to exercising. Doing a lot, after doing almost nothing, isn’t good for us.

We need to heed the warnings, the still small voice that says I should call or visit. How many people have heeded the voice to run over to a friend or relative to find them in distress? Now that everyone has a cell phone, it won’t happen as often, but not everyone who needs help will call. We tell ourselves they will, but we also know it isn’t easy to ask for help, and sometimes we only see their feeble attempt after the fact.

Dad said to me, “When are you coming out?” Two family weddings were planned for that August, so that was my answer. He died before Father’s Day, and then I understood what he’d been trying to tell me.

When we set up help for Mom, we had a schedule for who would stay with her set up a few months in advance.  She said, “Don’t worry about more than that.” I knew what she meant, and she didn’t need help past what we had set up.

How often have we looked at something and known we have a situation to deal with, before it gets worse? How often do we deal with it in time, and how often does it get worse before we are forced to deal with what we already knew was there to be dealt with?

Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow. Mark Twain

Listening to Realtors talk about deferred maintenance, the maintenance needed that never got done. At the time of sale, it all needs to be looked after. A home inspector might give a list pages and pages long of things not fixed. Are there people who are always on top of everything? When something needs doing, they do it. An inspector would find nothing in their house that needs fixing.

What areas of our lives do we have deferred maintenance? What nags at us? Are there improvements we could make that would give us a better life? Would a few exercises in the morning and a walk a day keep us limber and strong? If we handle the little things better, would it add up to big improvements in our lives? In the garden of life, are we planting seeds we want, or are we harvesting whatever the wind blows our way?

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance. Kurt Vonnegut

If your body is a temple, you can pile up too much deferred maintenance. If your body is a temple, mine was a real fixer-upper. Chuck Palahniuk

Systems do not maintain themselves; even our lack of intervention is an act of maintenance. Every structure in every society is upheld by the active and passive assistance of other human beings. Sonya Renee Taylor

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Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.

Posted on by BWThomas

How do we get a meaningful death?

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

A good death does honour to a whole life. Petrarch

All my life, one of my parent’s favorite sayings was, “We have to endure to the end.” Does this mean different things to different people? With modern medicine, do we live longer but not always better in the final days? People are being offered the chance to die with dignity, but if they take the offer, does this mean they did not endure to the end?

How do we feel if someone is offered the chance to die with dignity, and takes the offer, but we don’t think it should have been offered, or taken up on? We have life-extending medical intervention, and now we have MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying).

Going through Hospice care at home with Mom and being there for her last breath, we all appreciated her death was not a long, drawn-out affair; she probably most of all. Did the medication she was given for pain hasten that final breath? I think it probably did, and I was the one who administered the final dose.

Offering someone a good death isn’t something I will rail against, but are we offering it to people who could still have a good life? This is where it gets tricky. If the end is truly nigh, and only suffering lies ahead, is shortening that suffering a bad thing?

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well-used life brings happy death. Leonardo da Vinci

Making the decision of the day and the hour we will take our last breath seems like a hard decision, but would it be if all we saw ahead for ourselves was endless hours, days, weeks, and maybe even months of nothing but never-ending pain?

Once we get on the medical conveyor belt, we might be extending life, but is it a quality of life we want? What might have ended in a peaceful, earlier death becomes an extended life of excruciating pain. Now, to end the pain, we need medical intervention because we interfered in what would have been a quicker, natural death.

I don’t know what the answers are, and I know there is a lot of criticism of MAID. We used to have Hemlock Societies, which was a right-to-die organization. Now we have the right to die, but choosing to die is a controversial subject. Who gets to have input on the choice being made?

I think, if things were to get bad enough for me, I would want the choice, but Mom and Dad’s words of endurance to the end would also be ringing in my ears. If someone I loved was making the choice, would I be able to support their choice wholeheartedly?

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. A.A. Milne

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. Thomas Campbell

Death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent. Steve Jobs

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Posted on by BWThomas

Bitterness and resentment poison our souls

Painting by Belynda Wilson Thomas

Never let hard lessons harden your heart, the hard lessons of life are meant to make you better, not bitter. Roy T. Bennett

How and why do we become bitter, and do we notice it, or is it only others who notice? Is it optimism, gratitude, or some other attitude that helps us get through life without becoming bitter? Do we lose faith in ourselves, society, or did unmet expectations turn life sour?

Did we want something out of life that we didn’t get? Instead of kissing the frog and getting a prince or princess, did we turn our prince or princess into a frog by expecting them to be someone they could never be? Did we think love was enough? Love is a verb, and a hard-working verb at that. I’ve seen a few marriages that seemed to enjoy a love that never got old, and I’ve heard the secret is to keep falling in love with the same person time after time.

How much of our lives do we live for ourselves, and how much do we live for other people? Are we putting on a façade for others and feeling like a fake to ourselves? Have we learned to love ourselves, warts and all? Do we dare to disagree? Do we dare stand up for what we think is right? Can we admit we are wrong if we find out we’ve been on the wrong side of something we’ve championed?

Last evening, my husband and I were discussing the destruction of bathrooms in schools by students. My take on it is a lack of discipline has come home to roost. It’s not Johnny’s fault because… has not built a good society. Unruly children growing up into unruly adults is a theme as old as time.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Saint Augustine

We need to learn to manage three things to live a good life: money, health, and relationships. How we do with those three determines much of our lives. We might think if only someone else would do better, act better, or be better at any number of things, then we’d be better off, and it might even be true, but we have no power over other people.

Do we build a good society when we decide to be a good member? When my Grandmother and Grandfather homesteaded in Northern Saskatchewan in the 1930’s, there were no schools for the children. Mom tells me her mother walked miles to neighboring homesteads, trying to convince other homesteaders to join her in getting a school in the area, but not everyone cared about a school. If they didn’t have children, they didn’t want the expense of supporting a school. Eventually, schools got built, but many children in their formative years didn’t have access to schools, and they had to build lives without that advantage, and they did.

Circumstances work for us and against us, but often it is our choices working for or against us. How are we managing the life we have? Are there better choices we could be making?

Life can change; spouses die, businesses close, jobs end, but if life is still going on, we have to adapt. We might think life can never be good again. Who are we without… We are who we’ve always been; we aren’t our marriage, our business, or our job. As long as we are breathing, there are choices to make. What can we do to make our health, relationships, and attitude better? How do we know a choice we don’t want to make because we are afraid of change, won’t open up a new way of life we will enjoy more? It takes courage to go forward, but what other choice do we have? If we regret the things we don’t do, then when faced with a choice, even if brought on by circumstances beyond our control, shouldn’t we make the best choice open to us and move on?

Bitterness and resentment only hurt one person, and it’s not the person we’re resenting – it’s us. Alana Stewart

Resentment is nasty. What makes it so ugly is that it has a tendency to turn you an otherwise kind and reasonable person, into someone who is so angry at their own life situation that it is nearly impossible to recover. Bitterness and resentment make it hard even for the people who love you to be around you. Martha Bodyfelt

Resentment is often a woman’s inner signal that she has been ignoring an important God-given responsibility – that of making choices. Brenda Waggoner

Thank you for reading this post. Please come back and read more, and have a blessed day filled with gratitude, joy, and love.

To subscribe, comment, and see archives or categories of posts, click on the picture and scroll to the end.

Thank you for reading my books, and a special thank you to those who leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon. If you click on the Amazon link and purchase an item, I receive a small percentage of the sale through the Amazon affiliate program.