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Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. William James
Why do we fear we are “not enough?” This is a fear that affects us all, but it shows up differently for each of us. Some people become overachievers, other people constantly compare themselves to others, for some, it is procrastination and avoidance and not finishing what we start.
How would we ever begin to define what is “good enough”? We often think we’ll be good enough when…
Yet there are people who make plenty of money in prestigious occupations, are the perfect weight and fitness level, perfectly coifed and manicured that still don’t feel they are enough.
We think if we could just figure out when we first began to feel we weren’t enough we could get to the heart of the problem and solve it. This will only help if instead of getting angry we forgive those who also didn’t feel like they were enough and passed it on to us.
We love affirmations but maybe they aren’t as helpful as we think. Saying “I am enough, I am enough,” may not be as helpful as asking “why am I enough?”
When we ask questions our subconscious will find answers. If we ask positive questions we will get positive answers.
We are enough because we were born. Being the chosen sperm and egg is already a huge accomplishment.
We are enough because we are to experience what we are to experience, not to experience what someone else is to experience. In this life, we are to use our gifts, talents, and where we are to do our part to make this life as good as it can be.
We often compare the worst of ourselves to the best of someone else. We do not know their challenges. The prettiest girl in the room doesn’t always have the most self-esteem. Successful people, we all envy have demons of their own.
We all have doubts, weaknesses, things we don’t like about how we look, the circumstances we are in, the circumstances we were brought up in. Life is about going from here to there, wherever here is and wherever there is.
When we don’t have money we think, we’d be happy and be “enough” if we had money. This is why we pay the lottery tax. When we don’t have looks we think if we had looks we’d be enough. Being pretty or handsome doesn’t make you happy or feel like enough, sometimes the pretty feel the most used, they only want me for my looks, body, sex, etc.
You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. Zig Ziglar
When we live our life, really live it, give everything we are to a greater cause, like motherhood, fatherhood, or a great cause we are enough. We are everything to someone.
When the “not enough” voice rears its head we need to think what is it this voice is making me not do, procrastinate, hold back, what do we fear, and why do we fear it. How can we flip it around so instead of saying we can’t do this because we are not enough, we can say, why can we do this?
When we face our fears we become more of who we are. When we forgive those who are mean, hurtful, and demeaning, we don’t have to carry that stuff with us anymore. Forgiving is for us, not for them. We too often think when we forgive someone it is for them, we are letting them off the hook. It is us we are letting off the hook; it is our burden we are lifting.
We can do little things in our life that are “the right thing.” Keeping our kitchen sink shiny can be like giving our self a hug in the morning. Making our bed and doing morning exercises can set the tone for the day. Making our lunch is frugal and healthy. Giving our spouse a hug and a kiss can help our marriage flourish. Small habits build our life. We can celebrate our wins.
We can let out our disappointments instead of keeping them bottled up inside by talking about them, or journaling.
We can quit beating ourselves up when we miss the mark. We will fail, we need to be willing to embrace failure and fail bigger, fail better. The more responsibility we take for our lives the more we can build the life we want. If we don’t take responsibility we feel like the victim. It is victim mentality that is part of not being “good enough.”
What can we do today to make our self feel good about our self? Where can we be generous, kind, considerate, inspiring, complimentary, encouraging, and forgiving? Who can we help?
What you do today can improve all your tomorrows. Ralph Marston